The (Defamer) dirt

Dear Rob,

Defamer has been loving you (and other Twi-stuff) this week:

Okay, let’s talk about what you apparently said to that girl in your days before Twilight.

“If I could, I’d have a ____ on the inside of my elbow so I could lick it all day long.”

Um, sweetie? What did you actually say to the girl? Because some things come to mind…. and those things aren’t the sweet things that come out of the mouth of the beautiful man (you!) who sings Never Think.

I’m a generally positive thinker, so this is what I’m guessing you actually want to lick:

  • a picture of UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown
  • a little tiny kitty cat
  • a big slice of pepperoni pizza
  • Jonathan Taylor Thomas (stolen from the comments in the defamer post and too good not to repost here!)
Oh, to be a bird in your cage

Oh, to be a bird in your cage

If you did happen to say what it sounds like you might have said, I’m willing to forgive you.  My guess is you got drunk with Sam Bradley and he dared you to say it (any insight on this Sam?). Or I know things weren’t going so well for you a year ago- failing career, couldn’t get a date, etc. etc., so maybe you just had a slip-up and thought that’s what girls wanted to hear.

I think you know this now, but just to clarify: most girls don’t want to hear that. (I know, I know.. reading the comments on our site, you’d probably beg to differ that there are a few girls out there that would take ANYTHING you’d say)

Just an FYI for the future, stick to brooding, dazzling & singing next time you’re trying to pick up a girl! Or, here’s a thought, don’t try to pick up any girls. Just wait patiently for me to figure out how to juggle a husband AND you at the same time (without breaking any of those vows I said on 6/2/06)

Love,
me (UnintendedChoice)

What do you guys think Rob actually said?

19 Responses to “The (Defamer) dirt”

  1. christapie says:

    I think he said a naughty thing. :o

  2. defamer is sweating rob and twilight SO hard right now. dang, you’d think they were us.

    what he wants to lick…

    i mean obviously it’s a picture of me but what about…

    -a scratch n sniff sticker? on this would be a lick n taste sticker?

    -pinkberry froyo? i know you MUST miss LA :D|

    – clippings from your old hair

    – a mini action figure of ME with two legs the SAME length

    – a mini sam bradley?

  3. Ashley says:

    did he actually say a naughty thing?

  4. vickyb says:

    Oh my I hope so! Can you imagine?! I mean everything that comes out of his mouth is like the sound of little tiny fairies flying through a field of wildflowers on a clear day with a rainbow in the background…well you get the point!!

  5. NatalieCastle says:

    Actually, I believe it would be a wound or something. He has said he liked blood.

  6. sam says:

    @natalie.. you may be right! i remember reading that somewhere too!!

  7. ROBzilla says:

    I’m new to this site and I have to say you ladies CRACK ME UP! Finally, some adult women who can appreciate the the smexi hotness that is Rob. Good gravy the things that young man did to me last night in my dreams…
    *NERD ALERT*
    Anywho – I’ve been reading “Money”, which RobbyPie says is his fav book. It’s quite interesting and this comment sounds like something the character John Self would have said.
    *NERD ALERT*

    • @ROBzilla don’t tell me YOU’ve had “good” dreams about Rob too.. one of our friends has and I bow at her feet every day b/c of how jealous I am of her dreamlife! WELCOME! I’m glad you found us :)

  8. ROBzilla says:

    Oh yeah – if he said what I think he said to me, I would volunteer on the spot to donate that part of my body for a STAT elbow transplant. Lick away lovah!!!

  9. Valerie says:

    The word I had heard that was said, I don’t know if I could type that on here. But it was pretty nasty-minded:)

  10. Mrs McSparkle says:

    This place is brilliant :)

    Please email me the real word someone :)

    beermonster31@yahoo.co.uk

    cheers xxx

  11. newkindofunicorn says:

    i think mirror is the best one ive heard so far because you know he would have been being super sarcastic, hes soo modest.

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