Mr. Choice vs. Mr. “Paddleston”
You might be surprised to hear that Mr. Choice tagged along for my west coast visit to see Moon and friends this week. He pretends to be annoyed by all the girltalk, Twi talk & Rob talk, but deep down I know he loves it. And for sure all the LTT/LTR girls love HIM. He’s become quite popular. It’s almost like “Rob WHO!?” Well, almost. Since Mr. Choice has been around all week and got to see Eclipse with us Tuesday evening, we’ve had some fun conversations. Here you can listen in on one of our most recent:
Mr. Choice: What’s up Twilight people. It’s only fair that I warn you all up front that my role in whatever we’re about to do will be incredibly boring. I’m far too sleepy to care about a 600 year old high school vampire who is mad at a 16 year old wolf…Consider yourselves warned
UC: Honey!!! We are supposed to be pretending that we’re having a casual conversation- my readers can’t know this shit is staged!
Mr. Choice: But I’m downstairs on the couch & you’re upstairs in Moon’s bed with her. This is SO freakin’ staged.
UC: We’re the only ones who know that! Now be sweet to my readers
UC: So….. you tweeted earlier that you’re officially Team Jacob
Mr. Choice: Yes and my mom left me a Facebook message asking, “Who is Jacob & what does it mean that you’re on his team”
UC: I’m asking the same thing…. So.. WHY? and I mean be honest….. is it because you think I touch myself to Edward Cullen? And you’re jelly jelly?
Mr. Choice: No, I know you do that, and I don’t care. Jacob is less melodramatic, a FAR better actor, gets better dialogue, is less awkward, less British and 1 billion times hotter
UC: okay first of all, Jacob is a character.. and he fixes cars.. he doesn’t ‘act’. Now Taylor Lautner on the other hand, he’s an actor…I didn’t ask what you thought of Rob vs. Taylor- I asked about Edward vs Jacob. and furthermore, Edward is RICH- you know how I’m into rich dudes
Mr. Choice: Fine…whatever…I can’t separate who they are as guys and who they are in the movie. Ugh- Edward Pattleston will be a janitor in like two years
UC: you sound bitter.
Mr. Choice: I hope he enjoys this time
UC: I thnk you’re jealous. First of all… Tay-cob looks like an alpaca. I’ll prove it:
Mr. Choice: That makes no sense to me
UC: Oh yeah? Look:
(also- can we get one of these!?)
Mr. Choice: That’s quite a bit of a stretch…Also, whoever brought that to your attention is a huge dork. I think sometimes Rob looks like your Aunt Summer
UC: My aunt with down syndrome!? HOW SO!?
Mr. Choice: He just does when he laughs loudly
More after the jump!
UC: Okay let’s forget for a second that I run letters to rob and pretend I’ve never even heard of him
Mr. Choice: gladly
UC: and that you didn’t find me one morning sleeping next to that Pattinson biography book. Can you attempt to clear your mind of those memories?
Mr. Choice: yepp
UC: Okay now tell me what is wrong with Paddleston- and what is wrong with his portrayal of Edward!? Because.. I like Jacob… I do. I think Taylor does a great job. But come ON honey… you and I usually agree on guys……. and Rob is SOOOOOOOO much hotter than Taylor!
Mr. Choice: First of all, neither one is nearly hipster enough for me. Secondly, I LOVE exotic women (I’ll share my “list” sometime) so I assume the same holds true for my hypothetical man crushes. Thirdly Rob’s arteries are too clogged with Hot Pockets, Cheeseburgers and sub-par beer
UC: So you like Taylor more because he’s semi-exotic? That’s gay!
UC: So you TRULY think.. even if I didn’t have him on spots 1-9 on my top ten list, you’d still NOT like Paddleston?
Mr. Choice: I don’t dislike him at all…It’s nothing personal. I just think he’s WAY over-rated. He got an opportunity and he’s riding it out. Good for him. I’d do the same thing.
UC: me too
Mr. Choice: He’s a nice enough guy
UC: you liked his interview on Leno. Member? You even said “Why isn’t Paddleston being awkward?”
Mr. Choice: I don’t remember ever not thinking he was awkward on an interview so I’m certain you just made that up
UC: no! I swear you said “Why is Paddleston not being awkward!” I promise. I wrote it in my “Things that shock me about being married” journal right next to the entry where you picked up your dirty underwear 2x in one week
UC: Well, you’ve seen THREE of his twilight movies now (plus his harry potter one)…..can’t you agree that he was WAY better this time around?
Mr. Choice: Sure…That means very little though. In the last one he spent the whole movie as a cardboard cut out. No one’s ‘Early Oscar Buzz’ blogs starting blowing up after last night. He was as good as he needed to be.
UC: Well… if you were Edward…. would you choose Bella? Would you want to do the “leg hitch” with her?
Mr. Choice: I don’t know what the leg hitch is but I will answer with a qualified “yes”. He’s choosing between her and no one so yes, she’s better than the alternative – an eternity of deer hunting and high school alone
UC: well, he’ll still have to hunt deer…but at least he can get some after he kills Bambi’s mother
Mr. Choice: She does seem to be a little more trouble than would interest me. She’s really spread some drama since coming to town
UC: basically.. what I’m getting at is…. are you robsten, nonstop or I don’t give a crapsten
Mr. Choice: I of course do not care whether they are together in real life but as we’ve discussed and disagreed ad nauseum, I do like Kristen. As for Bella and Pattleston, she certainly should choose the wolf
UC: because he’s more EXOTIC?
Mr. Choice: Perhaps, but she also won’t have to go to high school for the next 700 years and she’ll have a fun pet to play with when Jacob shifts
UC: that’s true- he could play fetch
Mr. Choice: Absolutely…Ed doesn’t play fetch. He sits in trees and sulks
UC: but he looks so HOT doing it
Mr. Choice: Dear Pattleston, consider me a well-wisher, meaning that I wish you no specific ill. Because of you however I am doing this instead of sleeping so I’m bothered…It does make me the #1 husband of all time though
UnintendedChoice & Mr. Choice
Sigh.. there’s NO convincing Mr. Choice. What do you think? Is he just WAY jealous? Or does it sound like he just legitimately doesn’t really care about Rob?
First image from Robsessed‘s header!
Tags: , Eclipse, Eclipse movie, Edward Cullen, guys and Twilight, Rob, Rob Pattinson, Robert Paddleston, robert pattinson, stuff my guy says about rob pattinson
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