Mr. Choice vs. Mr. “Paddleston”

Dear Rob,

You might be surprised to hear that Mr. Choice tagged along for my west coast visit to see Moon and friends this week. He pretends to be annoyed by all the girltalk, Twi talk & Rob talk, but deep down I know he loves it. And for sure all the LTT/LTR girls love HIM. He’s become quite popular. It’s almost like “Rob WHO!?” Well, almost. Since Mr. Choice has been around all week and got to see Eclipse with us Tuesday evening, we’ve had some fun conversations. Here you can listen in on one of our most recent:

Mr. Choice: What’s up Twilight people. It’s only fair that I warn you all up front that my role in whatever we’re about to do will be incredibly boring. I’m far too sleepy to care about a 600 year old high school vampire who is mad at a 16 year old wolf…Consider yourselves warned
UC:
Honey!!! We are supposed to be pretending that we’re having a casual conversation- my readers can’t know this shit is staged!
Mr. Choice:
But I’m downstairs on the couch & you’re upstairs in Moon’s bed with her. This is SO freakin’ staged.
UC
: We’re the only ones who know that! Now be sweet to my readers

UC: So….. you tweeted earlier that you’re officially Team Jacob
Mr. Choice
: Yes and my mom left me a Facebook message asking, “Who is Jacob & what does it mean that you’re on his team”
UC
: I’m asking the same thing…. So..  WHY? and I mean be honest….. is it because you think I touch myself to Edward Cullen? And you’re jelly jelly?
Mr. Choice:
No, I know you do that, and I don’t care. Jacob is less melodramatic, a FAR better actor, gets better dialogue, is less awkward, less British and 1 billion times hotter
UC:
okay first of all, Jacob is a character.. and he fixes cars.. he doesn’t ‘act’. Now Taylor Lautner on the other hand, he’s an actor…I didn’t ask what you thought of Rob vs. Taylor- I asked about Edward vs Jacob. and furthermore, Edward is RICH- you know how I’m into rich dudes
Mr. Choice:
Fine…whatever…I can’t separate who they are as guys and who they are in the movie. Ugh- Edward Pattleston will be a janitor in like two years
UC:
you sound bitter.
Mr. Choice:
I hope he enjoys this time
UC:
I thnk you’re jealous. First of all… Tay-cob looks like an alpaca. I’ll prove it:
Mr. Choice:
That makes no sense to me
UC: Oh yeah? Look:

Alpaca Taylor

(also- can we get one of these!?)
Mr. Choice:
That’s quite a bit of a stretch…Also, whoever brought that to your attention is a huge dork. I think sometimes Rob looks like your Aunt Summer
UC:
My aunt with down syndrome!? HOW SO!?
Mr. Choice:
He just does when he laughs loudly

More after the jump!

UC: Okay let’s forget for a second that I run letters to rob and pretend I’ve never even heard of him
Mr. Choice:
gladly
UC:
and that you didn’t find me one morning sleeping next to that Pattinson biography book. Can you attempt to clear your mind of those memories?
Mr. Choice:
yepp
UC:
Okay now tell me what is wrong with Paddleston- and what is wrong with his portrayal of Edward!? Because.. I like Jacob… I do. I think Taylor does a great job. But come ON honey… you and I usually agree on guys……. and Rob is SOOOOOOOO much hotter than Taylor!
Mr. Choice
: First of all, neither one is nearly hipster enough for me. Secondly, I LOVE exotic women (I’ll share my “list” sometime) so I assume the same holds true for my hypothetical man crushes. Thirdly Rob’s arteries are too clogged with Hot Pockets, Cheeseburgers and sub-par beer
UC:
So you like Taylor more because he’s semi-exotic? That’s gay!

Who needs exotic when you have this?

UC: So you TRULY think.. even if I didn’t have him on spots 1-9 on my top ten list, you’d still NOT like Paddleston?
Mr. Choice:
I don’t dislike him at all…It’s nothing personal. I just think he’s WAY over-rated. He got an opportunity and he’s riding it out. Good for him. I’d do the same thing.
UC:
me too
Mr. Choice:
He’s a nice enough guy
UC:
you liked his interview on Leno. Member? You even said “Why isn’t Paddleston being awkward?”
Mr. Choice:
I don’t remember ever not thinking he was awkward on an interview so I’m certain you just made that up
UC:
no! I swear you said “Why is Paddleston not being awkward!” I promise. I wrote it in my “Things that shock me about being married” journal right next to the entry where you picked up your dirty underwear 2x in one week

UC: Well, you’ve seen THREE of his twilight movies now (plus his harry potter one)…..can’t you agree that he was WAY better this time around?
Mr. Choice:
Sure…That means very little though. In the last one he spent the whole movie as a cardboard cut out. No one’s ‘Early Oscar Buzz’ blogs starting blowing up after last night. He was as good as he needed to be.
UC:
Well… if you were Edward…. would you choose Bella? Would you want to do the “leg hitch” with her?
Mr. Choice:
I don’t know what the leg hitch is but I will answer with a qualified “yes”. He’s choosing between her and no one so yes, she’s better than the alternative – an eternity of deer hunting and high school alone
UC:
well, he’ll still have to hunt deer…but at least he can get some after he kills Bambi’s mother
Mr. Choice:
She does seem to be a little more trouble than would interest me. She’s really spread some drama since coming to town

UC: basically.. what I’m getting at is…. are you robsten, nonstop or I don’t give a crapsten
Mr. Choice:
I of course do not care whether they are together in real life but as we’ve discussed and disagreed ad nauseum, I do like Kristen. As for Bella and Pattleston, she certainly should choose the wolf
UC:
because he’s more EXOTIC?
Mr. Choice:
Perhaps, but she also won’t have to go to high school for the next 700 years and she’ll have a fun pet to play with when Jacob shifts
UC:
that’s true- he could play fetch
Mr. Choice:
Absolutely…Ed doesn’t play fetch. He sits in trees and sulks
UC:
but he looks so HOT doing it

Mr. Choice: Dear Pattleston, consider me a well-wisher, meaning that I wish you no specific ill. Because of you however I am doing this instead of sleeping so I’m bothered…It does make me the #1 husband of all time though
UC:
BOTHERED!

Love,
UnintendedChoice & Mr. Choice

Sigh.. there’s NO convincing Mr. Choice. What do you think? Is he just WAY jealous? Or does it sound like he just legitimately doesn’t really care about Rob?

First image from Robsessed‘s header!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

93 Responses to “Mr. Choice vs. Mr. “Paddleston””

  1. Tigerkitten36 says:

    Laugh out loud funny

    “Ed doesn’t play fetch. He sits in trees and sulks”

    I think Im developing a crush on Mr. Choice

  2. superhumanmoron says:

    I may have thought of an alpaca a time or two watching Jacob in Eclipse….

  3. robgirl86 says:

    UC,your man is soooooo jelous…it hurts!!!! my 2 cent :-)

    and you cracked me up with the Alpaca comparison, it’s sort of perfect!!!!

    Dear Mr.Choice,
    Rob is beautiful and soooooo HOT, inside and outside
    the end!
    me

  4. waytoooldforthistoo says:

    Fabulous! Hilarious! I now love Mr. Choice the most.

    • Hermes says:

      I love Mr. Choice as well. :)
      Hey, I thought Tay Cob looked a bit like a twinkie in Eclispe. (sorry abou that) Especially in that 3 way tent scene with Tay, Robward and Stewiebelle.. It was weird and intimate.. the dialogue between Tay tay and Robward was bizzarely bromantic….. They did have a lot of chemistry.

      BTWs– TomStu (my little cupcake) is filming in london. He plays a manipulative junkie. (sigh).
      TomStu I LOVE YOU! :) my sweet little morsel of manhood.

  5. Dionrenee says:

    Mr Choice is in the same opinion as most of our boyfirends/husbands, all are on Team Jacob because we are soooo into Edward, they have to root for the underdog..they are all a little jelly jelly..lol.

    The alpaca thing is genius, I giggled…

    Question – I was out of town last week, did Moon & UC post information on the Steph Meyer interview??? I can’t find anything…….

    • Rob's flaming dashboard says:

      Just barely the tip. Evil beeyotches are gonna torture us at least until we purchase every item in the LTT / LTR store.

      • Renie says:

        I’m not buying a thing from the store until they start selling those God-awful wigs that probably smell like wet dog.
        My husband loves to pretend he’s Robward. It goes something like this,” Don’t move,…. I wanna try something….. hold still.” …and then I ruin the moment by LMAO.
        Mr Choice…Rob can act(check out the tent scene), sing, play guitar, piano and write music. He’s British, tall, thin, handsome, has great hair, is funny and is self depricating, and reportedly doesn’t have “game”. He also wants to play “Howard Roark” from my all time favorite book “The Fountainhead”. All of this adds up to one fine man and I don’t see him sweeping floors at Wmart…maybe sweeping the ladies off their feet! Chillax and thank Rob for improving your romantic life!

  6. PinkDolphin says:

    I so totally want to verbally spar with Mr. Choice. That was some of the
    most awesome talking in circles ever. UC, you were clearly getting nowhere. I can dig that. It’s like foreplay.

    I too am developing a crush here. But I still like Paddleston better.

  7. Edible Art ? says:

    I’m now team Alpaca ! :-) so cute

  8. Sue G. says:

    “UC: I thnk you’re jealous. First of all… Tay-cob looks like an alpaca. I’ll prove it:”

    OMG that is too funny! He does!

    “Mr. Choice: Dear Pattleston, consider me a well-wisher, meaning that I wish you no specific ill. Because of you however I am doing this instead of sleeping so I’m bothered…It does make me the #1 husband of all time though”

    Mr. Choice you are the #1 husband of all time! I wish mine would discuss Twilight stuff with me, but he can’t be bothered!

  9. No Mr Choice is not jealous and Taylor is indeed exotic. Hahaha. NOT!
    On the other hand Mr Choice is quite cool/patient/curious/crazy/I dunno to have watched the 3 films among which one at the midnight screening!!! So that’s a goood point. My bf would never do that. So instead he gets to pick up my underwear and do the laundry, why do you want, you can’t have everything!
    Enjoy LA, Moon and the others! And stalk the Rob in between!

    • robgirl86 says:

      Mr. Passe’ is GREAT!!!! <3

      • I know, I know. But next time when he’s having existential questions like why is he always the one cleaning my mess, i’ll be like, forget about trivial stuff, wanna fly to LA to go to the premiere of BD? :)
        xx
        I don’t have time to play these dasy, crazy busy then going away for a bit.

  10. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight, LetterstoTwilight. LetterstoTwilight said: It’s time for a NEW LTR: Mr. Choice vs. Mr. “Paddleston” – http://tinyurl.com/2baf89l […]

  11. Stacey says:

    I think our husbands would be friends. Not only that but I think they would start a club about ways to make fun of Rob. At least, Mr. Choice will watch the movies. I get random snarky comments, questions about his sexuality, and more questions about why “that boy” is on our dvr so much. (I thought he meant Taylor, but no “the dirty, British one”)

    Also, this is just me, but when I saw the picture of Taylor & the alpaca, why did I picture Taylor & Chewbacca?

  12. Chanel says:

    UC, considder yourself EXTREMELY lucky!!! There aren’t many husbands out there who would be willing to have a convo about Robert Pattinson at that time and be cool about it.

    Mr. Choice, Snaps for caring enough to share your opinion in a civilized way (unlike some haters). an indeed: “It does make me the #1 husband of all time though”

  13. Goodgirl Gone Plaid says:

    Mr. Choice: He got an opportunity and he’s riding it out. Good for him. I’d do the same thing.

    UC: me too
    GG: me three

    • grandmother cullen says:

      Mr. Choice:… you seem to be under the false impression that Rob will be “a janitor in three years” If that be the case, I believe the ladies of LTR/LLT will have enough “odd jobs” to keep him gainfully employeed.

      And the GREAT thing about Edward is that 1)you don’t have to cook for him so, there are no groceries to buy or dishes to wash 2) he doesn’t sleep, so no bed linens to change 3) no medical bills, and, the best part, he is so rich that he can buy a new wardrobe at anytime so therefore, no laundry.

      Jacob, dog hair all over the place. Do you think he hacks up hair balls? You could give him “doggie-style” Back hair would be really gross!!! Would really get tired of the cut off jeans and nike sneakers. I suppose you wouldn’t have to cook for him either. Just tell him to phase and go “eat it raw.” But the thing that would be the last straw for me is the 108 degree body temp. A little perspiration is okay but, DAMN!

  14. shinegirl says:

    Mr. Choice is definitely a good husband. Where the women at the midnight showing fawning all over him because he was there with you? My husband took me to the triple feature (yeah, he talked me into it) and the women were just going on and on about him. The Twi-love is an ego boost, for sure.

    Mr. Shine (sorry, can’t do Mr. Girl) is on Mr. Choices side with this though; he is Team Jacob. Mr. Shine is also waaaaaaay too jelly of the Pattleson (Ha! I love that), but he knows my addiction and is o.k. with it.

    I think any husband or boyfriend who watched the Leno interview was charmed (I know Mr. Shine was).

  15. Milfy Goodness says:

    Hilarious! Mr. Choice, you are very patient. UC, I assume you have rewarded Mr. Choice for his participation. I hope you are not too sore.

    One point – I am surprised that Mr. Paddleston isn’t hipster enough – is he too dirty to be sufficiently hipster? He’s got the “retro” shirts and the facial hair and he plays a guitar (poorly) and he reads overly intellectual books and he is skinny and he smokes a lot. What else is there? Does he actually have to move to DUMBO or Williamsburg? Just curious.

  16. misty says:

    My hubby is all kinds of fedup of hearing about Rob, wasn’t is akward to watch any Rob movie with him and let your hubby see your ovary explosions over someone else? Your huuby has balls of steel, mine couldn’t be BOTHERED with Rob..he’s such a bore sometimes. Oh well…

  17. kat says:

    Hello Mr. Choice!!!! Thanks for your take on Pattleston and Jacob. Even if I do disagree. Edward is way hotter. That being said, Pattleston is way spazzy in interviews, but that’s part of the charm. I’ve embraced his not-so-inner-dork.

  18. Goodgirl Gone Plaid says:

    I am now sooo tempted to get all of mr plaid’s babblings recorded when I pop his twicherry on sat. I’m actually taking him with me to see E-clipse! (thanks oprah)
    I’m a bit more nervous than I should be. What with risking the aforementioned ovary explosion in plain sight of hubs?!
    Tweed serious. He may never be able to stop taking the piss ever ever again.

  19. blackgirlltwihard says:

    Leaving the kiddies with gramma, I manage to make it back to the theater to the 10:30 showing with no one other than WHO?: MY DAD…halfway through the movie he goes “ So the vampire guy wants her to be a vampire and the Indian guy, he wants her to be a werewolf??…” FML x 1 billion!! I just Shake my head: Moral of the story: newborn Unicorns are delicate….Hang in there with us, Mr. Choice!!!!!!!!! Two more to go!

    • Rob's flaming dashboard says:

      You went with your Dad? Just trying to picture my 70yo father at a Twilight movie. Nope. Asleep in 30 seconds. Your dad is cool to actually agree to go, pay attention and ask questions!

      • blackgirlltwihard says:

        Girl, yes he sorta “got it” in the end, but I sentenced him to rewatch Twi and NM …he ‘s seen them before, but DID do the ‘falling asleep thing” and forgot some major stuff.. gotta get him up to speed, cause I WILL drag him to see BD if I don’t have my own U by then!!!

    • robsfuturemate says:

      BGTH- My dad went with my sisters, mom and I to see NM! It was either that or stay home and watch all the kiddos! But he said this time he’ll wait for the DVD. He’s pretty sure it will be around the house! He pretty much could follow along and was thankful that there was more action. I told him this one was supposed to be “action-packed.” We’ll see!

  20. mine!mine!mine! says:

    Mr. Choice,

    I just love that you call him Pattleson (may adopt this moniker). Good on ye for immersing yourself in this craziness. You are obviously one of a kind – if a little bit nuts, Pattleson is way hotter than Jacob.

    UC loved the comparison between Jacob and alpaca. So bloody funny. Every time I look at those pictures I snigger.

    Can’t wait to see Eclipse, I also have no one to go with so will be arming self with neighbours 12 year old girl and a few of her friends :) I offered my services….I’m such a good neighbour *sarcasm font is now switched on*

    • mine!mine!mine! says:

      Obviously over exicted.

      I did of course mean ‘paddleston’ and not ‘pattleson’….doh!!!!

      Though his interview technique dos lend himself to the moniker ‘pattleson’….still love him though.

  21. melronin says:

    Mr Choice…you are #1 husband of all time…seriously!!!

    But I have to tell you…you will neva convince UC (or us)
    to change…team…neva!!!
    Mr.Pattleston is all the EXOTIC we need!!! As soon as you come to terms with that, all will get much easier! Trust…(and maybe admitt that you are a tiny bit jealous of that British guy).
    :D

    Sincerelly yours
    Mel

  22. Michelle says:

    Mr. Choice gets the absolute FREAKING WIN for saying bothered. (and NOW I’m screaming BOTHERED! in my office…they officially think I’m insane now…)

    Team Mr. Choice!

    PS – I don’t think any husband will ever “get” Edward. Jacob’s the obvious choice for a man. While we feel Bella’s character – we remember the insecurities, etc…they FEEL Jacob. The “good” guy who gets the short end of the stick. Which guy can relate to the super rich vamp who is hotter than hot? Muhahahahaha…

    PPS – UC you asking Mr. Choice if it was because he thinks you touch yourself to Edward – OMG – classic. You guys seriously rock.

  23. Madeline says:

    This is hilarious! UC, your husband is so funny… and tolerant! Or at least he fakes toleration for his own amusement.

    And I agree with Melronin – Rob is plenty exotic! No chance I’m switching teams.

    Did you come up with the alpaca? Because, while he’s pretty good playing Jacob and pretty good looking for a kid his age… he DOES look like an alpaca!

  24. katiebird says:

    Oh UC, this truly made me cry laughing this morning! Being married to a man who thinks that he is as funny as Mr. Choice is, I know that you understand what I am saying. :)

    I’ve decided not to take DH to Eclipse for my first viewing, but we will be seeing it later next week. I told him that I think he will enjoy this movie the most. He is also a Team Jacob fan. Your conversation with Mr. C is like looking into the mirror of my marriage, that its just erie.

    I had to comment on one part of the convo., though.

    “Mr. Choice: I don’t dislike him at all…It’s nothing personal. I just think he’s WAY over-rated. He got an opportunity and he’s riding it out. Good for him. I’d do the same thing.”

    “UC: me too”

    I had to giggle, because somehow I don’t think that Mr. Choice’s “riding it out” comment is quite the same as what you’re thinking and/or agreeing to. ;)

    I am actually looking forward to my DH reaction to the movie, because he can be quite hilarious when he wants to be. His comments during Remember Me definitely made me laugh.

  25. Tiffany says:

    OH MY GOSH! I can not get over how much Taylor Lautner really looks like an alpaca. hahahhaaha

  26. Bella_NaA says:

    Taylor DOES look like an alpaca! I’m so glad you brought this to my attention. I knew he reminded me of something but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

  27. aj says:

    Mr. Choice is sweet to have this convo with you.

    I think a lot of guys are Team Jacob cause he’s more of a guy’s guy. He..fixes bikes, has a pack of guy buddies to go see bromances and get in fights with, and wears jeans (or jorts) and tshirts.

    And you get the feeling that Jacob listens to rock from the 70’s (which Edward says he hates).

    Plus, he totally whittles apparently…like an old sailor…
    When Jake’s old enough, he may have a beer with you and go out looking for chicks to imprint on.

    Edward is romantic, rich, listens to classical and 80’s music, goes by Edward instead of Ed or Eddie and sparkles in the sunlight=not a guy’s guy.
    He is described as looking like Adonis and he’s never had sex with a woman.

    Edward would not have a beer with you. In fact, if you invited him out and tried to hit on chicks with him as part of your bro-pack, he’d just sit there trying to convince you NOT to give up your purity before marriage.

    I totally see why guys aren’t Team Edward even apart from possible jealousy.

    On the other hand, since in RL Rob is a smoking, drinking, musician who loves great blues and 70’s music, has great taste in literature(holla Carson Mccullers) and doesn’t care much about clothes or having great hygiene and TayTay is kinda beige….

    sorry Mr. Choice, but I have to say that I think you’d have way more fun hanging out with Rob than TayTay.

    AJ

    • ViviLit says:

      Ok, I agree that for a guy Edward may be harder to relate than Jacob.

      But Rob too? I mean, let’s say that a guy would go out for a beer with Rob or Taylor, who would he like better?

      I think, “jelly” aside, Rob is more aproachble (I think I just invented a word) than Taylor. I mean, taylor has no friends, he’s too much like a action figure, he seems way too naive and serius, he clearly doesn’t have a sense of humor…

      And have you notice that everybody that spends more than 10 minutes (a probably the ones that spends less too) LOVES Rob. Have you seem the twitters from the extras of WFE set?

      • Aro says:

        I agree, but I don’t think guys have the patience to take the time to distinguish Rob vs. Edward. He’s either Edward — who they think is the ultimate in lame — to them, or he’s this wispy-ish British guy who often looks like a hobo, average Schmoe on the street, yet all the chicks have lost their minds over him and squeal. Any dude that masses of chicks squeal over must be taken down in most guys’ eyes (or you know, they just resort to that guy thing and label him that “f” word, which is the dumbest shit ever, but a very guy thing to do).

    • che says:

      @AJ WORD
      me on the other hand.. don’t know why i think both Edward and Rob are perfect(!) if they are such different

  28. Amanda says:

    This was fucking hilarious. I get that he’s not motivated enough to write posts for the blog, but he should. I love guyspeak (when I’m not trying to get romantic information about how a guy feels about me…at that point, it sucks). It’s so to the point and apathetic. It’s refreshing.

    • Amanda says:

      And whoever sent you the picture of the alpaca, dead fucking on, nerd or not. I think Taylor is cute, but being a grown woman, he’s just not hot. Not. He’s a child. And where faces are concerned, your nostrils can’t be pointed up where at the right angle, I can see your brain. That look doesn’t do it for me. The porker noses are weird. And his is slightly more porker than gorilla. Which doesn’t do it for me.

  29. Faye~fayezeewayzee says:

    I think that was really cute you guys! And yeah, Mr. Choice is both jealous and doesn’t care one bit! That pretty much sums it up. ;O)

  30. vickyb says:

    Hahaha manbangs thinks Bella should choose Jacob too. He actually said “shes not even that hot to be causing wars in Forks” then proceeded to say, “all rob…i mean… dward…. is doing is just dissing her by not turning her into a vampire”.

  31. vickyb says:

    Hahaha manbangs thinks Bella should choose Jacob too. He actually said “shes not even that hot to be causing wars in Forks” then proceeded to say, “all rob…i mean… dward…. is doing is just dissing her by not turning her into a vampire”.

  32. operarose says:

    It’s that darn alpaca!!! As per my tweets last night, y’all ruined the tent scene for me because ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS THE ALPACA in the sleeping bag with Bella. I’m going to have to go back to the movie and see it again just so I can attempt to enjoy a normal alpaca-free tent scene. I didn’t even hear their dialogue, all I could see was an Alpaca (Jacob) and unparalleled hotness (Edward.) Very unusual for my Team Jacob self to think.

    Congratulations LTR. You finally worked your way into my mind and turned Jacob into an Alpaca so I’d revert to Team Edward.

    P.S. I love that Mr. Choice’s reason for not liking either of them is that they aren’t hipster enough. That was unexpectedly hilarious. Hipsters are awesome. Does this mean he likes Yorkie?

  33. LCneiny says:

    O.M.G. – I’m sitting here at work trying sooo hard not to bust out laughing and scare my coworkers! That convo was priceless, staged or not.

    I think Mr. Choice really doesn’t care about Rob. I have sorta the same convos with my hubs regarding acting abilities, and although I think in my case there is a little bit more jealousy, at least Mr. Choice is making an effort to understand your obsession! Maybe he doesn’t agree, but that’s healthy in a relationship right?

    P.S. my hubs is also Team Jacob, but I think that’s only because I’m soooo Team Edward and he just wants to be different :) He doesn’t try to follow the story….

  34. sheiel says:

    The Alpaca was awesome! lol

    Mr. Choice is like Mr. Sheiel, “He pretends to be annoyed by all the girltalk, Twi talk & Rob talk, but deep down I know he loves it.” =)

    I’ve been reading and recommending LTR/T for over a year now, first time to comment though. Just wanna send my love from Manila! ♥

  35. Obava says:

    The name “Paddleston” makes me think duuuhrty, naughty, FanFicy thoughts…

  36. Aro says:

    Mr. Choice: …I’m far too sleepy to care about a 600 year old high school vampire who is mad at a 16 year old wolf…Consider yourselves warned…

    Mr. Choice: I think sometimes Rob looks like your Aunt Summer
    UC: My aunt with down syndrome!?

    Ahh ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Edward Paddleston.

    I heart Mr. Choice (in a, you know, I’m not after your man I’m just a reader enjoying your blog kind of way UC).

    • Aro says:

      And oh yeah:

      UC: ….is it because you think I touch myself to Edward Cullen? And you’re jelly jelly?
      Mr. Choice: No, I know you do that, and I don’t care.

      Ha ha ha. The Choices win.

  37. Bethie says:

    Sitting at my desk at work, I get to that alpaca/Tay-cob picture and lit’rally guffawed as loudly as is humanly possible. That was hilarious.

  38. snowwhitedrifted says:

    Awe, breakfast time with “the Choices.”

    “hypothetical man crushes” LOL!

    “I wrote it in my “Things that shock me about being married” journal right next to the entry where you picked up your dirty underwear 2x in one week”

    -That has never happened in my house.

    Dear Husbands,
    Your underwear can not walk into the hamper on it’s own merit. Please stop believing in the Laundry Fairy.
    -SnowWhite (I didn’t go to maid camp) Drifted

    • Aro says:

      A new toilet paper roll doesn’t hop onto the dispenser by itself either. Or dishes into the dishwasher, the food no longer stuck to them like cement…

      But this is a WHOLE other post.

  39. purplescool says:

    Sooooooooo funny! UC, you and Mr. Choice are hysterical! I hope you guys have kids one day – I can just imagine the snarky comments that would come out of their mouths!

  40. Freya says:

    We were discussing why men are more likely to be Team Jacob in the car yesterday. (In between road raging at LA traffic and saying “heyyyyyy”.) Simple explanation is that Jacob has more traits that men culturally admire while Edward is more of a fantasy for women.

    That being said, Mr. Choice is fully awesome and can express whatever opinion he wants. Also, if you could save us a strand of Mr. Choice hair with the follicle fully intact or other source of viable DNA, we would like to begin our special “Mr. Choice cloning project” as soon as possible.

    • allryans says:

      Agreed. Jacob is also LIKE most men – loyal, unassuming, hardworking, etc. – whereas Edward’s fineassed perfection is like, well, just about no one. So men can’t relate to him, and women can … do something that rhymes with relate to him.

      • Aro says:

        and women can … do something that rhymes with relate to him.

        Why whatever do you mean?

        *gets lost in truly filthy thought*

  41. ForEveralurker says:

    Just had to chip in.
    This below has MAJOR win!! (metaphorically of course) :

    “Mr. Choice: I don’t know what the leg hitch is but I will answer with a qualified “yes”. He’s choosing between her and no one so yes, she’s better than the alternative – an eternity of deer hunting and high school alone

    UC: well, he’ll still have to hunt deer…but at least he can get some after he kills Bambi’s mother”

    Mwa ha ha ha so true…..
    Thanks UC and Mr Choice for todays funnies you both rock

  42. niahid says:

    Oh Heeeyyyyy, Mr Choice is hilar. It will be awkward if Mr Moon is Paddleston. :D

  43. allryans says:

    I’m going to have to assume that in reference to Taycob, the term “exotic” is intended to mean “likes dudes.” That’s the only thing that makes sense.

    “OH you are very exotic looking. Was your dad a GI or … ” /random Office quote FTW!

  44. Stacey says:

    I just realized that my husband should like Edward. He’s not all like Jacob. Instead he loves expensive cars, khaki clothing and trying to wait before marriage. (The tease)

    Rob, on the other, hand is a different story.

  45. FreakyBella says:

    That made me laugh like nothing else has made me laugh today! THANK YOU!!!

  46. adrienne says:

    “It does make me the #1 husband of all time though” – i could never have this conversation with my husband so this is definitely truth!

  47. Hi, I have never wanted to meet LTT/R gurus (and now Mr Choice) than I do right now!

    *scrolls back to continue reading and FINISH reading* heh

  48. Hermes says:

    YOU ALL ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS ONE. FUNNY FUNNY
    Title is ” This is Kristen Stewart” ..

  49. Hermes says:

    THIS IS KRISTEN STEWART — you’ll have to go to You Tubes to watch.. its is funny…. shizzed in my pants. You just KNOW the attitude is for REAL! hahaha – enjoy amigos!

  50. SamDarkSun says:

    Mr. Choice is clearly jealous.

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