Breaking Down Rob’s Sad Panda face and then it all goes down hill

Dear Rob,

UC and I got to talking about your weekend paparazzi run-in (see that link for pictures) and we decided that your sad panda face had to be the product of something other than being followed around by some smelly dudes with cameras. We break it down and then get distracted…

UC: I just watched the pap vid. so sad! he seemed really upset
Moon: dude didnt he? it was weird, right?
UC: yeah…. like something must’ve happened…i thought of a few things- Kristen was somewhere near by… and he didn’t want to get caught (cuz just he & Steph in Malibu? odd) OR maybe he was having a mole checked and was embarrassed
Moon: hahahaha defs a mole. OR maybe he was having stomach issues and needed to stop in a CVS but didnt want the paps to take a pic of his diarrhea medication
UC: OR Nikki Reed asked him to pick up a preggers test… he didn’t want them to get the wrong impression
Moon: OR he really wanted to get another double double but was embarrassed that the paps already caught him at an in n out twice that day
UC: he dripped milkshake on his pants and it looked like he peed
Moon: and all he could think about was the cupcake pants snafu from Vancouver. he didnt need people thinking he had a premature ejaculation issue
UC: Dick is sick he got the news and just wanted to cry, but no one read through his “please go away first” sad panda face. All he wanted was a hug even if it was from a sweaty guy who smelled like falafal
Moon: HAHAHA falafel
c

Moon: he just finished the final episode of the OC after going on a bender and watching all 4 seasons in a weekend and he just wanted to drive down the PCH like Marissa and Ryan one last time
UC: Tom was waiting around another bend…. with fake blood poured over him like Marissa- they even had Cam hanging out a truck window- watching him fake die, but Rob was late for the scene….it was sad. They were gonna submit it to funny or Die. Or just keep it to watch once a year during “best Friend Week.” Memories!
Moon: the highway patrol got there first and started a murder investigation
UC: B/c Tom had passed out the heat plus the 3 double double’s he scarfed down himself when Rob went down the road to get gas which they naturally ran out of! They don’t know gallons- only liters. it can be confusing to be British living in the US
Moon: OR rob found out he wrote down the wrong date for comic con and realized he missed the unveiling of the new star wars boba fet figurine
UC: haha
Moon: they sold out in 5 minutes. sad
UC: he went to beach with Stephenie but forgot to bring back Kristen a little jar filled with sand.
She can be a bitch if she doesn’t get her sand. she adds it to her loquat pie… acts like an aphrodisiac …helps with the love making on the bear skin rug
Moon: its a cheap fiber substitute and with all their traveling they have to stay regular
UC: It works- thus the trip to CVS for Rob
c

 

UC: OR maybe… Rob stole Rosie (the elephant) but she escaped into the sea and he dind’t have insurance on her yet
Moon: he saw her near paradise cove in malibu, lured her to the car with his double double wrapper but couldnt fit her in the backseat
UC: he did pick up a baby seal though thought she could be friends with Jella- such a giving guy
UC: yes I just name dropped Kristen’s cat…. no I’m not a krisbian.. I just have an affinity for all cats
Moon: im not playing anymore you just named her cat. i think you may have taken the krisbian oath on FaceBook last weekend. I’m booking my flight to philly for the intervention
UC: hahahah its a CAT! I don’t discriminate!
Moon: i want to say i do… but i can’t. but it’s a cat. the only cat i love is hello kitty
Moon: that may have been a twimoms on oprah moment for you…if you send me pics of your new place and i see a red carpet in the basement- i’m on the next flight out!
c

Moon: What is all this talk about Rob’s peen on Twitter?
UC: people are INSISTING his penis is showing… some think it’s photoshopped, i think it’s a PHONE
Moon: where is this picture
UC: here (to the right)
Moon: ok, im way more into his sunglasses than looking at his maybe-peen
UC: i looked at the one you posted today…. there is clearly something SQUARE in his pocket which moved
Moon: IF that’s his peen it’s detached and floating around in his “R-Pants”
UC: I think it’s his phone. Someone could’ve photoshopped it.. i just think it’s a bad angle or good angle..whatever
Moon: dude it’s not attached to anything at the bottom
UC: like… LOOK AT it close up  it’s SQUARE
UC: also is Rob that much of an idiot that he’d free ball it.
Moon: this is a rhetorical question, right?
UC: oh THAT’S WHY HE WAS SO SAD… his HUGE PENIS was going to be PHOTOGRAPHED. he KNEW IT *sarcasm
Moon: he’s pissed they didnt get ENOUGH pics of his huge penis. he’s going to only wear a shirt next time
UC: Yes…. and carry a magnifying glass to point to that area
Moon: tom stu will walk next to him with a neon arrow on wheels

Yup… so this is what we think happened and why you were so distressed on that paparazzi video it wasn’t being followed around and annoyed non stop by dorks with cameras. It was all these reasons! We get it now!

Off to measure my backseat for an elephant,
Themoonisdown

So which reason was it… what is your reason (besides the obvi) for his sad freaked out face? SHARE!

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93 Responses to “Breaking Down Rob’s Sad Panda face and then it all goes down hill”

  1. Nelle says:

    Maybe he quit smoking and it was making him miserable and sad?

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Go idea, but I saw him with a pack of cigs yesterday! Camels nonetheless!

      • robsfuturemate says:

        I know this is way late but I just noticed this was supposed to say “Good idea”! It was bothering me, just had to correct it!

  2. SingleStrand says:

    Kris told him he can’t keep the Nova because it’s leaving an oil spot on the garage floor and he was trying to enjoy one last outing alone in it. Dudes get emo over their cars.

  3. He was pissed because the sparklepeen detached and was doing his life on his own. Never listening those sparklepeens, never listening!

  4. superhumanmoron says:

    Is that a Hob Nob in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  5. che says:

    thanks UC for spoiling my very happy mood.
    now i see a phone too
    damn it!
    ;)

  6. Janetrigs says:

    Loved this. Thank you.

    Phone home.

  7. SingleStrand says:

    Tom just called to tell him he’s dating Emma Roberts. Now they’ll be known as the Oregano Lady Stealers. Rob never wanted to be ‘that guy’z

  8. misty says:

    Rob had a sad panda face because CVS no longer carries the cheese burger flavoured Hot Pockets and bought the Phiily Steak and Cheese one instead…poor PandaRob.

  9. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight, LetterstoTwilight. LetterstoTwilight said: It's time for a NEW LTR: Breaking Down Rob's Sad Panda face and then it all goes down hill – http://tinyurl.com/2wf5whb […]

  10. robgirl86 says:

    “Rob went down the road to get gas which they naturally ran out of hey don’t know gallons- only liters. it can be confusing to be british living in the US”

    Dear Rob
    if that was one of the reasons for making the sad face, well
    what can I say than that I can totally relate to you, I run out of gas twice the last 4 weeks. No US living here, neither gallons, that made it even more pathetic.
    BUT
    Love that we are so alike in loving/driving old cars and forgetting that even those may need some gas from time to time!
    love
    me
    <3

    P.S. I love your phone :-)

    • che says:

      P.S. I love your phone
      lol @RG
      i think we should start something new
      Letter to (rob’s)phone
      sparklepeen is so obivious so we could call it ‘phone’ :D

    • RG, the week-end I went canyioning, we were left out of gas in the mountains in the middle of nowhere and waiting for an hour for someone to come with gas while making up stories of what we could do over night with a big pack of very hot Heines. I was secretly picturing RobStu trying to convince the car that if the Heines get them going, then it’s good for “her” too.

      • robgirl86 says:

        lol, that’s a good one…
        I ran out of gas in the morning going to work, in the middle of the street, right in front of a traffic light…EMBARRASSING…red…green..red..green, I created a huge traffic jam, I tell you, people were very thrilled about me, I got a lot of weird faces, until 2 young nice guys :-) had compassion and helped me to get that huge old Mercedes from the street…
        the Rob-moment in this came right from the radio station when they talked about Rob having won the kissing- award again, handling that with Kstew in a very weird way…and all I thought was ….Gawddd, these aren’t really MY problems this morning! Sorry for telling this epic story , but it was the second time in a month, BOSS was NOT amused! :-)

    • The Old One says:

      There was something very gut-wrenching about hearing the sound of that old car not starting, and then sounding like it was about to stall out as Rob was trying to make his escape. All the coolness suddenly flew out of the picture, even if it does seem like you could get an elephant in the backseat. Or a mullephant.
      You know that Chevy probably gets about 9 miles to the gallon, and runs out of gas frequently. Such a blow to Rob’s already-questionable masculine ego. I’d have a sad panda face too.

  11. Sassysmart says:

    RE: the peen pic.

    Good stalkers, er, fans would know that Ron tucks to the right not left.

  12. Robjunkie says:

    Once again you girls, and I include the commenters, are fucking awesome. Bringing some much-needed lightness and snarkiness to this sad vid. Ooh, I love speculation. Off to ponder a few scenarios, be back soon.

  13. TLG (TippyL) says:

    LOVE IT! Where the HALE is Allryans?? SEE?? UC says it’s a phone, so it’s official: it’s a phone!

    Allryans and I had a twitter debate bc I said it was a phone and she said Jitterbugs don’t make peen-shaped phones. All I see is part of a rectangle-shaped object, like a bberry or iphone.

    Poor Rob – have a run-in with paps and all your fans can do is zoom in on the possible sparklepeen.

    • robsfuturemate says:

      My question is, are the pockets really that big in those pants?! It just seems so close to his “area”!

  14. http://s581.photobucket.com/albums/ss259/RobsessedBLOG/Water%20for%20Elephants/26th%20July%20Set%20Pics/?action=view&current=WFESet26thJuly27-1.jpg

    In this picture, I swear it looks like he has his jitterbug phone in his pocket.

    But I’m still quite pissed about that pap video. And today I watched that BS news on E! news about Rob hitting someone’s car with his Chevy while trying to get out of the pap situation. Apparently the owner of the car wasn’t too mad about it cause his car was not Lexus or something…still it saddens me to see the length the media goes to, to create headlines out of nowhere.

    Anyway, it’s funny you would mention Rob’s huge manbits today because I’ve started reading EP a few days ago and just before reading this post, I finished the chapter where Bella asks him if his member is 9in long…

    OH my filter, where art thou?

  15. Wendy says:

    His “R-Pants”
    heeheeheeheehee!!!!!!

  16. And because I’m a huge pervert, I just clicked on that last pic, just to know what everyone on twitter was talking about yesterday.

  17. coopercohennichol says:

    if he just got through with an The OC marathon he’s probably pissed off at that bullshiz of season 4 – its like the breaking dawn of the oc series

  18. Amber says:

    Shhhh… girls. No one is allowed to ruin the dream. NO ONE!

  19. Oh btw, I see some new shades there Rob. Did you throw away the Raybans you wore in Twilight, Remember Me and basically everywhere else since the last, I don’t know, gazillion years?

    Exciting! Oh and I love that outfit on him too. Isn’t it the same v-neck tee/black jacket combo he wore at the MTV Movie Awards this year?

  20. FastForward says:

    *giggles* *can’t stop*
    thanks a lot ladies, now i’m channeling my inner 12year old again …

  21. robsfuturemate says:

    I think Rob WAS having tummy issues! But, it was because he’s been getting that homemade food delivered to his front door and his tummy can’t handle all that nutrition.

    • Robsessedgirl says:

      HAHAHAH I SO LOVE YOU. You had me at “tummy”. Yes he is being extraordinarily healthy, he’s probably having gas from all the veggies he’s consuming. So, he bought beano.

      file://localhost/Users/chloe123456/Desktop/photo.jpeg
      HE’S SMILING. also I can’t figure out what book he’s reading, it’s bothering me.

  22. adrienne says:

    haha I’m still laughing at the Krisbian intervention – mentioning Kristen’s cat’s name deserves an imaginary award, not an intervention!

    i was thinking the “phone” pic was photoshopped after staring at it (ahem) for a few moments but that’s a phone. sigh.

  23. chochang says:

    girls, i am predicting that in your next “how you found us” post, someone would have googled ROB’S HUGE PENIS and found this site.

    • Robsessedgirl says:

      Yeah, I googled ‘rob’s huge penis’ but it kept coming up with ‘rob’s huge head’. I am offended, google!

  24. LadyN says:

    Dear sad face panda wanda cutie patootie,

    Hold my hand. I’ll be your Calgon and take you awayyy.

    Love,
    *Sighing* LadyN

    ps. Nekkid bubble bath time included.

    pps. Erm…hunny pooh… what’s that in your pocket? Hm? Whatever it is, it’s invited to bath time too, m’k?

    http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/11/27/1610595//thepocketsomething.jpg

  25. Michelle says:

    Thank you for this…

    “Moon: he’s pissed they didnt get ENOUGH pics of his huge penis. he’s going to only wear a shirt next time
    UC: Yes…. and carry a magnifying glass to point to that area
    Moon: tom stu will walk next to him with a neon arrow on wheels”

    I laughed loud. Sounded like a hyena. Lovely. I got the mental picture and it was fabulous. Greasy lil’ Stu pushing the neon arrow and Rob trying to look nonchalant…OMG. Classic. LMBO. TY TY TY!

    • snowwhitedrifted says:

      and I also pictured TomStu spinning the neon arrow, like those home sale/ Subway ad sign spinners that are everywhere.

  26. misty says:

    ahhhh..remember when TomStu/little cupcake and Rob went undie shopping at Mark and Spences:: http://stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com/2010/07/27/robert-pattinson-inspires-new-underwear-line/?xid=rss-topheadlines

    maybe he’ll do underwear modeling again…but this time look like a man and not at all like this::
    http://flowpattz.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/2b5lp1.jpg

  27. SagaDevotee says:

    LOL He’s sad cuz it IS his peen and it IS square….

  28. Robsessedgirl says:

    So, is it wrong I showed that picture to everyone who cared yesterday to ask if they thought it was a phone or HIS.HUGE.PENIS? He should not make sad panda faces, he should go for a ride on Rosie to CVS. OOOOH I have an idea, if he rode Rosie to places in public when he wasn’t filming the paps would get confused(they do have pea brains). One last thing, is it weird that yesterday when watching CNN before bed(my nightly ritual) since it was about people who stalk celebrities, I was just telling myself, YOU CAN’T STALK ROB!
    Is that weird? Oh well.

  29. Cath says:

    I’ve been so, so very absent in the visual Robverse, but I try to read at least the comments of all Robladies here, mostly too late (this time diff. sucks sometimes) and everything relevant and funny has already been said, but the last sentence was so funny, just had to chip in.

    Moon: tom stu will walk next to him with a neon arrow on wheels

    Hahahahaha! I want this to happen. Although I’m not sure that arrow is needed, the way little Rob is behaving himself…

    Btw. I think Rob is having sadface because he’s sulking he switched over to healthy meals (on wheels) and maybe semi-quitting on the ciggies doesn’t help either…I say bring on the Hob-Knobs and Hot Pockets and some good ol’ British pub food! ;-)

  30. caaath!!!!! caaaaaaaaath!!! I thought you were on holyday!!!

    • Cath says:

      MP, MPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP (hehehe) I wish! Have you already fled belle Paris, or are you still in the rat race too? Sacre blue! ;-)

  31. snowwhitedrifted says:

    So hilarious ladies.
    The neon arrow is such an appropriate object to point to a sparkle peen. #flashy
    #womenLoveShinyObjects

    But, thanks for getting King Missile’s song, “Detachable Penis” stuck in my head.
    Not a good one to hum to oneself alone in an office.

  32. The Old One says:

    I spent an embarassing amount of time yesterday (NORMAL!) examining all the pictures i could find that were taken before and after this one, and wondering why only this one picture had evidence that Rob had stolen the anaconda from the menagerie in WFE. The others had obvious cell-phone or cigarette pack bulges, or odd pants wrinkles. Maybe he left the anaconda at Stephanie’s house before he went looking for Rosie to add to his collection. Remember how Michael Jackson had a thing for zoo animals? Maybe this is the first sign that Rob is headed down the same scary recluse road as MJ?

  33. twigirl_world says:

    I’ll admit I have jumped on the #RobertsPeen bandwagon and I have spent entirely too much time examining the photo above.
    I even asked the opinion of my hubby, who was not excited to discuss Roberts Peen and said that I am sworn to secrecy to ever admit he discussed said peen w/ anyone. Hell, you don’t know him so its fine.
    But I still see a peen. I think maybe my imagination is altering my vision and making my mind believe that God blessed Rob not only with his sexiness but a big peen too!! God is so Team Edward.

    • robgirl86 says:

      you talked with your hubby about Rob’s peen?
      omg…that is soooo funny, I am (almost) speechless!
      That is what I call….RESEARCH!

      • Susiecueablelovesrob says:

        RG86 – I too showed my husband said picture and pap-video from yesterday! Some husbands are really, really nice and love their ladies so much they don’t mind sharing with Rob a little bit…..Anyway his comment on the pic was it’s probably been tampered with and he thought the video was horrible (his first comment was actually: Who is it? Is it Rob? Is he really that skinny? Ha!). He said Rob looked really vulnerable being there all alone with noone to back him up! (He said alot of other things about papz and staking laws which I won’t repeat here but was very interesting). So that’s my man – he is as nice and well mannered as HHH himself!

    • SagaDevotee says:

      ” making my mind believe that God blessed Rob not only with his sexiness but a big peen too!! God is so Team Edward.”

      gotta agree, SING IT SISTAH!

    • hitc4manynewmoons says:

      Maybe we all have CVS (computer vision syndrome)…seen 3 reports on news in last few days, hubby (sarcastically) told me too much FF & LTT/LTR posts will do it! HAHA!

  34. RoslynSelene says:

    Okay, so I’ve missed LTR for three days and I’ve JUST recently read/watched Rob and the paps. I guess that when I saw this video earlier, I was more concerned with the fact that Rob and I were in Malibu & Venice Beach on the SAME day yet I did not see him. I totally feel glad I didn’t see him w/ the paps now cause who knows what would’ve happened.

    Dear Rob,

    I know us fans can get overly excited and whatnot to the point where we totally MISS THE POINT and don’t realize you’re just a normal guy who needs to be left alone on your ‘days off’. Good thing you’re one of a kind and understands…I hope!

    With Much Love & Respect,
    RoslynSelene =O)

  35. Morgan the Finn says:

    If Rob would have bought gas in litres instead of gallons (example 20 gallons instead of 20 litres), the gas would have lasted longer, not the other way around. So Rob could have driven longer trip.

    Major epic metric system conversion FAIL :D

    I just had to say it.

    By the way metric system is so much better than what ever that mishmash-system of your is called :)

    BTW what’s the status quo with the Eclipse box office bet, where’s the letter?

  36. robsfuturemate says:

    Why did I spend the day arguing with people that “it’s a phone!” (new quote of the day)!? I’m supposed to be the one that wants it to be real, not the non-Rob fans!! Although one friend said it’s photoshopped. Now, they want me to send them the pic so they can examine it for themselves!!!!

    • Robsessedgirl says:

      It’s like this, if you want to believe it’s a phone, you will and no one can tell you differently. If you don’t believe it’s a phone, you will point out that it is rather phallic-shaped. I’ve never seen a phone shaped like that. I don’t know.

  37. elle says:

    y’all made me spit at my screen!

    And I hadn’t noticed until Moon mentioned it, but those sunglasses ARE all kinds of Awesome!

    They go really well with his head right now…

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