Seriously you all, get off their Dicks. (Shhh, just act like you care)

Dear Rob,

You know that shirt you wear when you wanna be flippant and cool and think you’re all hardcore? The BEASTIE BOYS Tour shirt from whatever over priced online vintage store you bought it from which according to people with too much time on their hands is worth about 250 bucks. Yea, like I said too much time on their hands. BUUUUTTT that is neither here nor there. When you bought it they told you it was super limited edition and no one else would have it… WELLLLLLL lookie what I found…

(Google “Rob Pattinson ‘Get off my dick'” and you’ll find the picture!)

DUDE… you know how they say pets resembles owners or couples start to look like each other after they’re together a long time? Yea, whatever it is she’s becoming YOU. Dude, maybe she wants to BE you. All along it’s hasn’t been about love or lust or like it’s been about her taking your place! I mean look at the signs bro… TomStu is now in a movie with her, they’ve been seen at parties together, she’s probably played the guitar with him, she’s hung out with your family and now she’s trying to tell you to stay off her Dick! She wants your dad all to herself. Who wouldn’t want to be the recipient of those emails?

So this is a little warning letter just so you’re watching your step. This has the hints of a Stage 5 Clinger, if this ends bad, she will either burn your house to the ground like Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale or will skin you and wear you like last years Versace (holler Real Housewives of Jersey!). I’m just saying watch out… and like Eric Yorkie says, ” I got your back baby.”

It’s alright, stay on my dick,
Themoonisdown

So what’s the deal with this shirt? Classy, trashy? A “statement” to anyone? Or kids who think they’re so cool?

Learn more about KStew’s outfit than you ever cared to know at Kristen Stewart Fashion courtesy of a fan

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

403 Responses to “Seriously you all, get off their Dicks. (Shhh, just act like you care)”

  1. dazzledtodeath says:

    Kristen has a dick? *No surprise*

    Clearly she wants to BE Rob, not be WITH him. Just come out already-you’ll feel better. And you can have whomever you want on your dick.

  2. AussieECfan says:

    Completely random but my first thought was HOW is that Rob’s shirt? In all their photos together she’s midget sized besides Rob, yet somehow this shirt looks in proportion on her tiny little figure.

    Did Rob stay up all night putting darts in and remodelling it for KStew just so he could sit back and admire his ‘subtle’ marking?

    • dazzledtodeath says:

      I think it IS the mullephant’s shirt.

    • kandnandb says:

      Maybe it was a Buy one get one free special. You’re right @AussieECfan, that cannot be his shirt….unless he washed it in hot water & then dried it for like 5 hrs. Which is completely believable, since the boy has NO laundry skills.

    • Michelle says:

      LMBO at Rob putting darts in the shirt. Nice touch. I always wonder that too…when seeing her wear HIS clothes. First, I’m jealous. I mean, I want to wear his ciggy stink too. Second, I think…dang…is he THAT small that they can trade shirts? Thinking dude is SKINNY. Gag. Off to pretend he’s meaty…

    • dazzledtodeath says:

      It’s like the travelling pants. The magicness of their luv magically makes it fit Stew, Rob or any member of the Britpack.

    • southernbelle says:

      That’s my 1st thought too. You can easily tell by the shoulder. Obviously Rob would have broader shoulder so then the shirt should be like beyond Kristen’s shoulder if that was Rob’s shirt. So I’m not for sure if that’s Rob’s shirt, maybe they got one for each?

    • Jamie says:

      Woah, if that’s seriously the same shirt, then Rob sucks at laundry!
      Not only did he shrink it, but he Changed. Its. Color!
      Sorry Rob, but you’re banned from washing my delicates.

  3. drsaka says:

    Oh this post, I’m failing badly at not laughing.

  4. Kiwi_sparkle says:

    Hrm… things to ponder. More importantly, I want a shirt that compliments this one which says “Say please”

  5. Hmm, Rob has a really sexy back….

  6. Dionrenee says:

    I love it…I knew she had one…this is why she is always so damn uncomfortable in public! Rob wearing that shirt actually make me want to jump on if you know what I mean..it screams sexy..and how does she make shorts that cost hundreds look like the Walmart Faded Glory special????

    I do love them together and if it was me you better believe I’ll be wearing all his clothes, shirts, underwear, maybe only a stage 4 clinger!!!

  7. natashadushi says:

    *pushes soapbox into view and steps on*I have to take this of my heart: I want something interesting to happen in Rob’s professional life that I can look fwd too. Or other (funny) news of Rob. I’m tired of all the Robstengate, I don’t care!

    And Rob….read my lips (ehm) I will not get off YOUR dick. *steps of soapbox

  8. drsaka says:

    Stage 5 Clinger- you may be correct.

    BTW- its Klassy, not classy.

  9. superhumanmoron says:

    Beastie Boys are always win. Always. I really don’t give a flip about who is wearing the shirt/shirts.

  10. dazzledtodeath says:

    I think Kristen needs a trucker profile.

  11. Susiecueablelovesrob says:

    Yes, she’s the original trucker!She’s manly enough and has the mouth and bodylanguage to fit!!!

  12. kandnandb says:

    Preparing for thumbs down, but that’s the epitome of klass, KStew. Only klassier would have been if you’d had a cigarette dangling from your lips while shooting a 2 handed bird. Yes, I realize that when Rob wears it, we all ovulate simultaneously. And I also realize that Rob can do what he wants, say what he wants and we still ovulate on demand while Kristen just has to stand there & people hate on her. No one ever said humans made any sense. But even while hating on her, she still makes more than I ever will, so I’m okay in my sexist hypocrity.

    K-you don’t have a dick. (Pretty sure, anyway.) Rob does. (I’ve thought about it lots!) Therefore, you don’t get the shirt. Simple as that. Sorry, but you don’t pull it off. And to be fair, if Rob wore a shirt that said “get off my vulva” I’d be grossed out & would have to rethink my love. You have access to AMAZING girly clothes. Wear those, please. I’ll still hate you but I think bitchface in a $5000 dress is klassier.

  13. melronin says:

    Question: Does she want to attract men or women??? Cause she is confusing me. Me is greek…easy to confuse me.

    Well if she tries to look more like Rob she will certainly attract the female population…and they will seriously NOT get off her dick!!!
    Just sayin…

  14. kat says:

    When Rob wears this shirt it makes me think about his package and getting on it.

    When the elephant wears the shirt I throw up in my mouth .

  15. Katie S says:

    Oh god, I miss you girls (and guys..?). I’m going to sit right here: http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=15259955&itemdescription=true&navAction=jump and get SERIOUS.

    Is that shirt classy? No. Is she a good example for the young ladies of the world? Probably not. Would I wear that shirt after I-don’t-see-the-point-of-washing-my-hair Rob wore it? Heeeeelllllll yes. So, I can’t fault her on this one. I bet it smells like cigarettes, stale beer, magicness, and sunshine.

    I blame Summit.

  16. robgirl86 says:

    What Kstew? Where?
    THAT is super jealous TomStu (with a 5$ wig) still trying to tell us that he doesn’t love our Robsession here! Like AT ALL !
    The end!

  17. Goodgirl Gone Plaid says:

    A: Kid who thinks she is so cool.

  18. robsfuturemate says:

    “She wants your dad all to herself. Who wouldn’t want to be the recipient of those emails?”

    Dick would NOT approve!!! There is no way she’s getting her claws in Dick. And the emails, I hope that he is more blunt with her!

    Dear Kristen,

    Please stay away from my son. You are a bad influence on him and not nearly as refined as I’d like.
    Sincerly,
    Dick

    (Ready for some thumbs down from the KLovers)

  19. Allryans says:

    If I had a fuckawesome Beastie Boys shirt like that I would wear it proudly, even if I bought it 15yrs after the date, from
    Awesomeconcerttees on eBay. Similar to the 1985 DeBarge sleeveless tee I got a few months ago. That’s right, rhythm of the night, betches.

    Wear it, Rob, even though you were a zygote when they were on that tour.

    As far as Kristen goes- you girls are telling me you wouldn’t wear the shit out of irony that smells like Ron after sex? Please. I would too. And she’s not going out or anything that requires her to look decent; she’s like headed to the makeup trailer or something. If that’s equivalent to me going to get the mail on Tuesdays, then I hate to see the comments me neighbors make about what I’m wearing.

    In other words, she could give a fuck.

  20. JenloveRob says:

    That shirt, which I loved, is now tainted!

    Go ahead Stewies give me a thumbs down. In Kristen’s honor maybe we should add a middle finger button….

  21. ladyofthemeadow says:

    KStew wearing this shirt is a whole lot classier than Kellan’s ungirlfriend Annalynne McCord wearing Kellan’s Calvin Klein manties on her very skinny butt… eew!

    http://justjared.buzznet.com/photo-gallery/2466642/annalynne-mccord-photo-opportunity-05/

  22. Jules says:

    Clearly Kristen has dick envy, we all know Rob’s is bigger than hers.
    Really, this clothes sharing/dressing alike is getting old. One of these two needs to get an identity.
    L.A.M.E.

  23. LadyN says:

    LMAO, Moon. I love how you totally divert from the BIG ‘ol fat florescent beige elephant in the room. <3

    She totes is trying to be him! See? she's no better than us fans who buy unflattering plaid, try not to shower/shave and style raybans to look like him. (I should know, I go prescription ones) She's just as pathetic!

    Let's all join together on his front yard an stalk, Kstew. I bet you're probably already an expert wit yo night vision binoculars!

    Swingin’ on that DICK we beeeee!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee

    • who wants to talk about the obvious when the less is so much more fun!!

      “She totes is trying to be him! See? she’s no better than us fans who buy unflattering plaid, try not to shower/shave and style raybans to look like him. (I should know, I go prescription ones) She’s just as pathetic!”

      HAHAHAHA truth.

      • LadyN says:

        LOL waaaaayyy effing funner! thank goodness for a blogger like you who just makes all this crap easier to swallow and laughable, or else Ben and Jerry’s profits would grow sky high, we’d all become alcoholics or need a shrink.

        ….might be late for some of us.

  24. snowwhitedrifted says:

    Ahhh, posts about tees make my day.

    #Iliveintheteeworld

    Seiously, though, can we send her a “fake lesbian” shirt? I’ll even sharpie out the “fake”.

  25. dazzledtodeath says:

    honestly I’d prefer to see Rob in a dress than the mullephant in men’s clothing. Mix it up a little. That would be hot.

  26. dazzledtodeath says:

    ..squeezing his dick..yeah. I like that.

  27. Buttercup says:

    I always knew she had a Dick!! o__O that’s the same shirt though. They prob have their clothes all messed up together in their closet. But I have to agree she wants to be Rob and now she thinks she has a Dick lol

  28. Edible Art ? says:

    Ok I don’t like labels man they are not cool but it appears compared to everyone here I am one of those Robsten people – definition : I am glad Rob’s getting laid and don’t find Kstew that annoying (Note the “that” ).

    I am NOT one of those weirdos that want a bella / edward re-enactment !!!

    But give her a break – If I could wear his clothes goddamn it I would ……Now feel free to down thumb me I can take it !!!!

    • allryans says:

      Actually, you sound sensible. Thumbs up.

    • The Old One says:

      I’m glad he’s not all over Hollywood with a different skank every week, and that she’s not a plasticized starlet. Otherwise, I don’t much care what they’re up to together.

    • LattersBaby says:

      When you say “bella/edward re-enactment” do you mean that his lovemaking will kill her? Yes, you called it…totally jealous. I would wear his dirty socks if he’d let me. Yes, even his dirty, smelly socks.

    • LattersBaby says:

      When you say, “bella/edward re-enactment” do you mean that his lovemaking will kill her?

      Yes, you called it…totally jealous. I would wear his dirty socks if he’d let me. Yes, even his dirty, smelly socks.

    • niahid says:

      He’s getting laid?
      Nooo, he’s a virgin *sarcasm*

    • P.S. says:

      I’m totally fine with her wearing his shirt too – I would. The thing that jumped out at me in this picture is that her hair is longer, maybe we won’t need a wig for BD.

    • LadyN says:

      You speak the truth! I’d soooo wear his clothes too…if they fit me. Size 12 in boys can be a bit snug for these babies *points to boobs* πŸ™‚

  29. southernbelle says:

    OK, the shirt looks much better on Rob! That’s all I’m gonna say, I’d love to say more but whatever, y’all get the point.

    Happy Friday!

    • Jules says:

      It look better and black, somehow it’s navy on stew.

      • southernbelle says:

        Hmm actually the one on Rob looks black the one on her looks navy blue.

        • TBB says:

          Ok, I was just going to post this. Rob’s shirt is a different color and surely larger than the one Stew is wearing. She wishes she was as cool as Rob. LOL She went and ordered one for herself and when he saw it she said, “Oh I’ve had that forever.”

          • southernbelle says:

            LOL yep I posted to someone here that it’s probably not the same shirt but regardless, it’s just not “becoming”for a girl to wear a shirt like that. I don’t know, I know I’ll get a thumbs down for saying that. But whatever. It’s my opinion.

  30. Obava says:

    Now everytime someone types “Ron” instead of “Rob,” I’ll think of Ron Jeremy instead of @Janetrigs. Boo!

  31. southernbelle says:

    Kristen darling, please tell me you didn’t go out and about wearing that shirt! Isn’t there any other shirts that’s proper for a lady to wear that Rob has that you can borrow?

    *Oh btw, being sarcastic here, in case someone doesn’t get it. Moon & UC might need to post the sarcasm disclaimer again. And FYI I’m not a nonsten or a Robsten, I’m I dontgiveacrapsten!

  32. JodieO says:

    Wow. When did it get so angry around here? I’m going back to my forum hideout.

  33. vickyb says:

    Um. The link to Kstews “fashion”….just…WOW. I don’t feel so bad now for spending so much time online now. These peeps are Kuh-razy!!! That is all.

  34. sjaantje says:

    Okay, it’s been a while since I was on here last. I saw this post this morning and it just clicked that it was Kristen in that shirt. DUH!
    Sorry, but does she really have to rub our faces in it *snicker* that not only does she get to hang out with Robert and probably do other things the rest of us would LOVE to do with him….SHE HAS TO WEAR A ONE OF A KIND SHIRT OF HIS TOO!!!
    We get it okay. You don’t want to talk about your relationship or non-relationship, fine whatever. Could you please just wear your own fracking clothes though.

  35. dazzledtodeath says:

    we all know who Ron is πŸ˜‰

  36. misty says:

    covering eyes with hands, singing lalalalalal and returning to denialsten…ahhhh it’s so comfy here….

  37. misty says:

    Dear Rob,
    When you and I finally start dating, ONE of the first things we will have to do it burn this tshirt. But don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you.
    Love,
    me
    xoxo

    http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2605/3767245264_3fe282df95.jpg

  38. libby says:

    *gasp* if it ends badly… What if she hides Tom? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    • Rob's flaming dashboard says:

      @libby – you suspect KStew has potential as a bunny boiler? I don’t want TomStu to be the bunny – he’s much too pretty to suffer such a horrible fate.

  39. Buttercup says:

    It’s like she’s saying look Girls in hitting that every night and to rub it in your noses I’m wearing his shirt!!! PROOF he’s my bitch lol.

  40. niahid says:

    And to think their relaysh is on the rocks was all over interwebs few days prior to this pic .
    Ohh I love them spin crowds

  41. Cath says:

    I will confess, the first thought I had when I saw our precious Lady K (aka Avril Lavigne the 2nd…don’t ask…) wearing that shirt, only showing her back, I felt the urge to kick her in the hiney…

    But I’m a wuss, she’d probably go all Karate K on me. So I’ll just ignore it, lalalala. Also because I just know she lives for stirring it up. She just does, while secretly listening to Avril on her iPod while playing with one of her imaginary cats whose name changes every interview:

    Special rewrite of Sk8ter Boi:

    Actor Boi

    He was a boy
    She was a girl
    Can i make it any more obvious
    She was a punk
    He did ballet
    What more can i say
    He wanted her
    She’d never tell secretly she wanted him as well
    But all of his fans
    Stuck up their nose
    They had a problem with her baggy clothes

    He was an actor boy
    She said see you later boy
    He wasn’t good enough for her
    He had a pretty face
    But her head was up in space
    She needed to come back down to earth

    5 years from now
    She sits at home
    Feeding Jella/Max she’s all alone
    She turns on tv
    Guess who she sees
    Actor boy rockin up MTV
    She calls up Dakota
    She already knows
    And they’ve all got
    Tickets to see his show
    She tags along
    Stands in the crowd
    Looks up at the man that she turned down

    He was an actor boy
    She said see you later boy
    He wasn’t good enough for her
    Now he’s a super star
    Slamming on his guitar
    With his pretty face see what he’s worth?

    THE END πŸ™‚

  42. Buttercup says:

    Dear Rob Aka Ron

    Can I get on your Dick before I get off?!?!

    *cough* O_O *hides*

    • theseviolentdelights says:

      WIN
      Rob, at least let us try before you deny access… I solemnly swear to disrespect you nice-and-slow. *puts hand on heart*

  43. southernbelle says:

    My husband(sorry gals, he lurks on here sometimes but won’t comment) saw the shirts and said “hmmmphhhh, you have to earn the right to wear that shirt!!!!” He was in high school in 1987 and very familiar with this shirt. LOL

    OK just thought I’d relay his response haha!

    • eatmyjorts says:

      I love this! I was at college here (aged 16-18, this is England) in the mid 80’s & the Beastie Boys were just irritating upstarts that no-one thought much of. Strange how times change. A Smiths T-shirt from the same era however….

    • dazzledtodeath says:

      I agree w/ your husband. Cooky puss is just an ice cream cake to the mullet (maybe to Rob too, who knows?).

  44. Janetrigs says:

    I love that you had a tag in this post for Waiting to Exhale. NICE

  45. hitc4manynewmoons says:

    I had a friend (she was an odd bird) that wore her bf’s clothes in h.s (we all did) but she wore his underwear….WAIT FOR IT….and he wore hers. I shutter to think the worst and hope these pair to not opt for that!
    Then again to each their own…I always try to accept people for who they are…even when they like to crossdress….LOL!

    • hitc4manynewmoons says:

      Seriously though…lets keep in mind these “kids” r very young and we have all been there…ok maybe not rich and famous but you get the jist. (Although after 19yrs of being with my hubby (since i was 13) I still wear his shirts when he is away. *I will duck now as the haters throw their crap at me!

  46. christin says:

    oh wow…I thought this was a “we love Rob” site, not a “let’s bash on Kristen” site..
    Let the guy do what he wants to do, if she makes him happy then so be it.
    So she wears his shirt..every girl has wore her bf’s shirt before, does she get bashed over it?
    I’m thinking since Rob is with her all the damn time, then she must have the qualities that make him stick around. So I don’t think he would really apprectiate all this mean talk from his fans..but hey, what do I know? I’ll probably get a 100 “Rob hates this” but I just couldn’t stand to see mean comment and not say something.
    Just let the guy be happy. If I was fucking him I sure as hell would be flaunting it all over the place. I’m sure you all would.

  47. Caroline says:

    I agree with those who are sick of the “Robsten” crap.
    The more I see them together the more I begin to dislike Rob for “settling”. What is Kristen trying to pull off by wearing the same (if not his) shirt. I too, drop an egg every time I even hear his name mentioned on the t.v. in the background…just need to be in earshot and my girlie parts start to tingle! Throw Kristen into the picture and needless to say….no more tingling. She is hanging on tight for the ride and will ride his coat tails as long as he stays famous. Kills me to think of what would happen if he decided to go back to London and follow through with his music instead…would she follow…doubtful. I however, would kill to walk into a pub in England only to find Rob strumming his guitar with a smoke hanging out of his mouth….crap, now I’m tingling again!

  48. pukesten says:

    i can’t believe it the one day this week i didn’t check if ltr had updated and i missed an epic K stew/robsten bashing (thats the only reason i hang round here anymore – joke!!)

    i think a few people have already said it, she loves the attention. if you genuinely felt so violated that you compared media attention to rape then why would you encourage it? and i don’t buy that too cool for school attitude if she really didn’t care about what people thought. she would be humble and personable like rob.

    and no it’s not just a t shirt that she wore because she had to wear some item of clothing, otherwise we wouldn’t have bothered to comment over 230 times.

    • drsaka says:

      Hi there, yes, it was quite the day!

    • robsfuturemate says:

      P.Sten- Have I told you lately that I love you!! Well, I do and I’ve missed you!!

    • dazzledtodeath says:

      I think it’s completely disingenuous to think say she’s not aware that her every move is scrutinized and picked apart, including wearing clothes that are/ are similar to clothes Rob’s worn. I’m sure she’s also aware of the rabid shippers and how these things drive them into a frenzy, so yeah-it’s all about attention.

      She needs to check the definition of “privacy”, if that’s what she really wants. Hint: wearing your beard’s GOMD shirt is not the way to get it. Check “rape” too, while you’re at it.

      • Celina says:

        How is it doing it for attention when the picture was taken by a random fan visiting the set? I guess she paid the fan to take the picture and spread it everywhere like wildfire. Nobody would have even known she was wearing it if the fan didn’t take the picture.

        • Jules says:

          How about the fact that there have been pics from the sets of every movie both Kristen and Rob have done since twi? Or that Rob was photographed wear the same/similar shirt (ironically) on set in Montreal? I’d say the odds of her being snapped was pretty damn high.
          But Kristen wouldn’t know any of that, nah. She’s totally unaware of what’s going on around her.

  49. lola says:

    There’s pictures of Taylor Stewart, Kristen’s brother, wearing it a couple years back – I saw them somewhere back in August when Rob first wore by people I guess with too much time on their hands. I think it’s Kristen’s shirt actually, by way of her brother, and Rob wore it at one point even though it doesn’t fit him that well. Does that make him a clinger, or just a boy with good taste in vintage clothing?

    • lola says:

      Uh-I just read the whole thread. I lurk here about once a week. I think overall the blog entries are very funny. I will say one thing here though. Hiding behind “it’s sarcasm, you just don’t get it!” all the time doesn’t work though.

      There’s nothing sarcastic or snarky in the vast majority of quotes here. Just a bunch of people like “yeah, you said it LTR, she’s got a dick!” comments that are followed with “but…but I’m a I don’t give a crapsten!” Riiiight.

      Just saying–the LACK of irony let alone lack of bitter, cutting irony-is sorely missing. And then all you are left with is people bitching. lol

      • Jules says:

        You read once a week, so basically 52 blog posts out of about 365? You need a bigger sampling to make qualify your observations as statistically valid.
        But, your opinion is appreciated around here, as is everyone’s.

      • robgirl86 says:

        sometimes it’s sarcasm, sometimes the truth,most of the time it’s opinion!!!

        question to you: Is that a bad thing?

        • lola says:

          hi there. Opinions are great. There should be places for people to voice them. I wasn’t commenting on opinions though, but how valid some portrayals of those opinions are. I’ve just been here long enough to know “it’s sarcasm, you don’t get it” is used often, when it oftentimes doesn’t apply. That’s all. I simply posted when it was brought up yet again yesterday, because I was in a mood to voice my opinion too. Most of the times, I just nod or shake my head silently or laugh and then move on…lol

      • pukesten says:

        “and then all you are left with is people bitching”

        eh yeh …whats what your point??
        πŸ˜‰

    • lord periperi says:

      #shoutbox
      vow, what a turn. how will some of people here find the way to hate “the one they love to hate the most”. πŸ˜‰
      seriously, people, can we be civilized enough not to criticize on wearing a shirt?
      lady gaga wore raw meat, and she wears crazy as clothes day and night, but we’re not dissecting her over it.
      1. maybe she’s a show off (yes, rob and i are are making funny-time in robsten palace
      2.this is my shirt.take it as you will.
      3.this is my shirt, and i almost got my arm ripped off after getting it back from rob (who stole it after puking on himself when a girl tried to kiss him). take that as you will, also.
      4. she’s a major bitch(that’s what absouletly everyone who’s ever met heris saying)and a lesbian and cunning (that’s what all her interviews are showing) with a wisdom and evil mind of a crappy actress (that’s what all of her 20 years of age, almost half spent making movies aretelling us)
      4. it’s early, i hate morning’s, coffeeeee, i need coffee,my brain is not working properly. what shirt?
      i take number 4. i never met her, so who am i to judge her?
      or rob’s mind and desicion that he wants to spend (in whichever way) some time with this person regularly.
      sorry for the rant. love the blog. πŸ˜‰

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