It’s another LTR anniversary: Gather around the fireplace
Dear Rob & LTRers,
In celebration of our TWO YEAR LTR anniversary today, we want you to grab a blanket & cuddle up with Moon & I in front of an imaginary fireplace- we even bought a bear skin rug big enough to hold us all- and listen in as we remember Year 2 in the life of LTR.
Two years- what a ride it’s been! In some ways it feels like yesterday when Moon & I both sheepishly admitted to each other that we watched the ENTIRE “behind the scenes off some cell phone camera” of the Vanity Fair photo shoot, and in other ways it seems like forever ago. SO much has happened. SO much has changed. SO many goals have been accomplished & SO many moments have shaped us- both in good & bad ways.
While things on the LTR-side have been quieter (read: Clare Pattinson still hasn’t admitted in public that she’s a daily LTR reader) than over at LTT, this year has still been quite busy. We kicked the year off right with a dramatic reading of poetry to Rob Pattinson (notice at this point we still wore a disguise- as to hide our “True selves” from all of you on the internet who want to kill us. As my full name & city have been posted online since, I think this past year we’ve grown over the fear of being murdered by Rob Pattinson fan!!!s)
Does this still give you a “continuous heartquake” as it does me?
And then there was the day after which the people of England never looked at Marks & Spencer the same (which is like never looking at a Target the same again- celebs shop at Target ALL.THE.TIME in the US- why we chose to think that Rob going to the British version of Target was a big deal is unknown to me. It was BIG TIMES fun though, that’s for sure)
Rob & TomStu buy underwear. I mean- can they GIVE us anything better? I don’t think so- what’s next for 2011- Rob & Tom tour a Hot Pocket factory? I don’t think it an get better than underwear shopping with your bff.
Then we introduced our very first Rob’s M.O.M. (Match of the Month- a series I think we did for only TWO months! We rule)
Tiffanized was our first M.O.M. and convinced us why she would be the perfect match for Rob by these 3 statements:
- I have hands on experience dressing my kids in the morning. Never again will Rob show up at a press event with a misbuttoned shirt or untied shoes.
- With a closet full of bridesmaid dresses from weddings past, I’m red carpet ready.
- I shop at thrift stores and have a Kohl’s credit card.
- I have short dark hair, so from behind, I’ll totally look like TomStu.
THEN you starred in a film called Remember Me and I got to post my first LTR “Reality Index” like the NY Mag does weekly for Gossip girl:. There we learned things like this:
Tyler fell just trying to climb through the window. Plus 2 because Rob is clumsy as f*ck.
I got to hop up to NYC to meet a big group of LTR readers, most of whom I hadn’t met before, where I saw Rob on Jimmy Fallon, hopped over to the Remember Me premiere and saw Rob’s foot and then in an EPIC moment- one that follows me around the internet STILL to this day- I (and some friends) was cyber bulled
According to the bullies, apparently I’ve made death threats against Kristen, called Kristen a whore, and am a “mentally unstable old ignorant whale.” And that makes them upset. Just call me Shamu!!
THEN something happened in Budapest…. I forget what…. OH wait… NOW I remember- Rob, you hung out with John McCain!
Oh and then there was the time when Moon saw you on Ellen (yes again). If I remember correctly, she had much more fun the first time we saw you on Ellen together.
THEN just before you were seen in that 3rd movie where you play that vampire, the most epic thing of our 2nd year happened: Moon met DICK! and got THIS picture:
I mean….. has anything better ever happened? No. I think not! And also…. do YOU see a trend here? I keep saying “Moon did this.” “Moon went there” “Moon, Moon, Moon.” Come on Rob, I think 2011- Year 3 of LTR is for me and YOU!
But plus 1 for Team UC: Mr. Choice & I “broke down” Team Jacob vs. Team Edward back in July and Mr. Choice cracked us up with lines like
Mr. Choice: Fine…whatever…Ugh- Edward Pattleston will be a janitor in like two years
Then there was kinda a “Drought” where you disappeared, Moon went to Africa, I went to the beach and sat in a corner sulking until Moon got home, and we basically begged people to post letters for us for about 3 weeks straight. But then, I channeled that boredom into creativity and came up with a Trucker Profile for you on Trucker Passions in case you decide acting isn’t the career for you. The best part is I think that the fine people at Trucker Passions thought for 3 whole days that their site was REALLY taking off because of all the new visitors they were getting. That is, until they realized it was all due to a new profile created with a picture that looked a lot like that one guy from the Trucker-favorite flick “Ring of the Nieublings”
And of course, you ended our 2nd year STRONG with Jumping Rob and the meme it’s become and all the beautiful situations in which he has been photoshopped. And I, of course, made Jumping Rob paper dolls & sent them off to my favorite girls in Belgium, Bella & Alice Not an Addikt. (And yes the lady at the post office PULLED them out of my unsealed box and looked at me strangely before I snatched them out of her hand and glared at her for putting her dirty paws all over you.)
So what’s next? What happens in year 3 of LTR? I mean, this question has an obvious answer right? There’s only really one thing left that we haven’t accomplished yet- that’s right- Year 3 of LTR is the year UC & Moon get invited to the Pattinson house for dinner & hob nobs. And then get called crazy hater squids by some more 15 year olds. Oh, and okay, we’ll throw it in there too, maybe, just maybe we can meet YOU and see how well we’ve done practicing for the past 2 years that we know nothing about you, have never heard of LTR and don’t understand the term “Robsessed.”
Here’s to an amazing 3rd year at LTR! XOXO,
UC for BOTH of us!
On a serious note: Last year I got really gushy on our 1st anniversary. If you are new and have never read it Take a second to read it now. I still mean all of that- you guys were lifesavers. Moon- you are more important to me now than you were a year ago- I’m so happy to see our friendship grow & deepen each day. We’ve had a year of transition in our lives personally & I’m so glad we’ve remained priorities to each other despite the craziness. Come visit soon. Or else. (Also invite me to your new house. Or else)
And to the rest of you- it amazes us that after all this time people are still finding Twilight and Rob. And as a result they are then finding us. And we are so glad. No matter when it is that you discover Twi & Rob, it’s important to know you’re not alone- there is a huge group of NORMAL people out there who have been obsessing, while a bit longer, just as hard as you, and not really understanding why…We’re in this thing TOGETHER! Always have been. Always will be. Here’s to an amazing 3rd year at LTR!! LOVE YOU ALL!