In 2011 I resolve to forget about Rob……
Yesterday when I should have been blogging about Rob, I did not. Instead I perused blogs; Wrote on my personal blog (yay me!); Chatted with some pals & then caught up on the CRAZY aspects of the fandom with Moon. And had the best time ever. People are funny. And by that I mean delusional. And by that I mean kinda scary. After much psychological debate with Moon about “what is wrong with people,” I realized I had to blog. But it was past my bedtime. Boo me. All I could think about was the crazy I had just caught up on. And while I want more than ANYTHING to blog about the crazy delusions (especially since I have you on the edge of your seat thinking “WHAT is she talking about and WHICH “Side” does she think is crazy & delusional” (hint: both), I am sorry. I don’t want to be called a c*nt today. Maybe on Friday. Fridays are generally the days of the week when I like to be called different names for the vagina (my favorite is “The Box”- Member- save it for Friday though) So I searched through our email for something appropriate for today. And look at me- I’m going to be controversial anyway. Because apparently if anyone has an opinion that is less than perfect about Rob, LTR gets hate like you wouldn’t believe. Bring it. My favorite hate word for Wednesday is “hag” xoxo, UC
Since it’s now into the second month of 2011, I figured the plethora of people discussing New Years resolutions has died down so it wouldn’t be annoying if I discussed mine now. Remember how a month ago you made a resolution while optimistic, happy and excited? Let’s face it, most of the time, you give up after a few weeks. Well, I haven’t! I guess I should just say it – out loud, say it!
My resolution is to finally admit to myself and get used to the idea that I’m kinda over you, Rob.
I had that feeling for a long time now, it’s like when you are on a diet and you always struggle and at first you still eat a piece of cake here and then, because you haven’t got control over your discipline yet. Time goes by and you learn and you get stronger and you see what else is in life other than that one piece of cake. You see and remember other things that satisfy you besides that cake. And one day you will figure that you gained the willpower to stay away. That you just don’t care as much about the cake than you did once.
Rob, you are the cake.
I look at the cake and think:
‘Yeah, of course you still look delicious and you still are my favourite thing in the whole world and there is no comparison, ever, but I’m kinda over you.’
After a while I probably am going to see that keeping that discipline is hard and tiring, especially when there are special events (Breaking Dawn trailer, -release, WFE release, Bel Ami trailer, -release [hot sex *fingerscrossed*], marriage, golden child, TomStu proposal to me, marriage, the real Golden Child…) when the cake is everywhere around you and is lit’rally shoved into your face- it’s hard to resist then. And I have to say that I will never stay away from you completely and I don’t want to, because eventually I experienced so much, so so much beauty and fun and laughter and sleepless nights because of you which I’ll never regret or would take back.
It’s been a wonderful time and I’m not saying that this time is over now (because I don’t have the strengh to stay away from you anymore…. BAM I’m still in the game!!) but my appetite has definitely changed over the past weeks if not months. I don’t really know why, but maybe if some things would have gone differently.
- Maybe if you were naked in the ‘Details’ shoot instead of the models.
- Maybe if Bel Ami already had released a trailer.
- Maybe if you would have filmed a sextape brought sexier underwear than those briefs.
- Maybe if your grey suit would have been even tighter than it already was.
- Maybe if (we would know) you had a d*ck like Ryan Gosling in that Blue Valentine scene. (UC note: Wait…. We SEE IT!? DEAR LORD WHERE HAVE I BEEN!?)
- Maybe if your bathing stuff would have been see-through instead of Kristen’s.
- Maybe if Condon had released a screenshot of your ass instead of Bella’s hand for God’s sake!
Yeah I’m blaming you, Rob. Are you getting old? Are you getting boring when you are in a relationship? Are you stepping on the next level in hiding- from Ninja to Invisible? Are taking Twi too serious and thinking you have to behave because you have a daughter now?
You know what, Rob? Since I’m a little thinner now and all happy with myself again, I can enjoy my cake much more. I know how to dose it now, because I learned how to stay away and then I’m even happier when I come back to it from time to time.
I just wondered if anyone is with me on that diet.
Looking forward to an extra delicious piece of cake really soon,
I like how TPWPTMPORPP described it as “a diet.” How are you doing on “the diet?” Are you still gorging yourself or have you paced yourself? I’d have to say I feel like I’m anorexic. I need sustenance and I need it bad. Watch out- the first thing GOOD released about Rob in the next few weeks & months are gonna fill me up fast. I’m gonna Binge. Binge on Rob. And Maybe also Hot Pockets. It’s only appropriate!