Breaking it down: Rob stars in a remake of Yentl

Dear Rob,

We spent a good part of Wednesday afternoon wondering why everyone was talking about “Amish Rob” and what did that mean? Why were you Amish? Had you grown a beard over night and drove a horse a buggy to set forsaking all modern conveniences? Had you just watched The Witness and got inspired by Harrison Ford and wanted to make a bird house? Had you grown tired of your Rumspringa and joined the church? Turns out some behind the scenes photos from your upcoming Vanity Fair spread had hit the webs… we break it down and about half way through figure out the Amish thing after we made up our own scenario…

Oh hai

The one where we try to figure out what’s going on
Moon: OMG MAN rob vanity fair behind the scenes pics
UC: oh WOW looks ….different
Moon: theres a hat!
UC: that hat! where is he going?!
UC: omg haha that’s so gay SO GAY
Moon: it’s like Lennie from Of Mice and Men
UC: hahahaha
Moon: omg! I have it! Have you seen Yentl??? with Barbra Streisand?
UC: no! but can imagine! he looks jewish… OR AMISH
THAT’S WHY THEY’RE CALLING HIM AMISH ROB!
Moon: now it makes sense!!
.

Rob the Yeshiva boy!!!

The one where Rob’s Jewish
UC: omg this is gonna be a disaster if this endds up looking hot… i just… will be shocked
Moon: he looks like freaking Anchel or Agvidor or a classmate in Yentl. He’s about to breaking out into “PAPA CAN YOU HEAR ME???!! Papa can you see me? Papa can you find me in the niiiiight?”
UC: hahahahhahahahaha
Moon: this is him off to hebrew school/Yeshiva…
.

Shabbat Happens

it’s SO that movie. dude if this vanity fair cover is not Yentl themed we’ve been jipped!!
UC: hahahahahahahhaha

I'll be your Schiksa! (This is my life people, I make things like this)

Moon: who is the Hadass in this photoshoot?! because i volunteer to get an AWFUL perm to play hadass!! THAT is committment.
UC: hhahaha
Moon:this will be me playing the role of Hadass to Rob’s Agvidvor and they could even get Tom Sturridge to play Anchel!!
UC: you look just like her with your red hair
Moon: me and Hadass… separated at birth… and tribe…
.

The one where Canadia rules

What we'll be wearing when we immigrate to the great white north

Moon: DUDE this is the week that just keeps on giving! it’s like nothing for weeks and months on end then BAM we hit the end of February and the world loves us again
UC: of COURSE they’re back in Canada. Canada rules apparently
Moon: canada loves us and wants the best for us. it’s time to immigrate i think. this is a sign
UC: plus it’s apparently really easy to stalk set & get away with it! Screw America
Moon: clearly. TOO many rules and safe guards here. canada likes it’s unsafe and possibly open to crazies. this is where we need to go
UC: plus with Palin 2012 coming up we’ve been talking about where to move
Moon: if palin and glenn beck enter the race, i’m coming for you canada!
.

I'm a man baby!

The one where we talk about Fan Fic and fail
Moon: can we give it up for this shot?
UC: yeah… that’s hot, i mean… doesnt look like him…kinda looks like Edward but it’s hot
Moon: if vanity fair doesnt want to go my Yentl version of the photo shoot than DAYUM ill be alright with just that photo. he looks like a “man” again
UC: YES
Moon: it’s like we’ve watched him grow from college boy to MAN. woah
UC: WHOA. seriously… he looks like he’s about to make some trades on wallstreet here
and it’s hot. i’d do him at his desk at lunch time as long as he’s not in one of those office spaces where he shares with other junior traders.. since he’s new to trading & works 90+ hour weeks
Moon: you’d rather do him a la THE OFFICE… holler old FF!!
UC: hahaah i forgot about that!
Moon: THAT is this rob

Whips? Chains? Computers? File Folders?

UC: YES he is “whips & chains Rob”
Moon: was that s&m??
UC: yes! The office… oh wait, no??
Moon: isnt the office just about a guy and some secretary? did i mix them up? and wasnt the dom and sub or whatever about s&m??
UC: yes! maybe?
Moon: ff readers everywhere are cringing at us… “this has been an episode of girls who sort of read like 4 chapters of a fic once discussing it now”
UC: did they do it on top of a plate of cookies?
UC: a different type of cookie every day? brought in for an office party? by a sad girl… afraid to sleep? 🙂
Moon: no cookies… was that other one that EVERYONE loved that i never finished
UC: ME NEITHER
Moon: it was like the first…. OH OH WIDE AWAKE…
UC: hahaha
Moon: this should be a weekly post by us: “moon and uc talk about stuff they dont know anything about!”
UC: Moon & UC review fan fic!
Moon: this sounds like our first twilight convo! “that guy is so cute… what’s his name? robert patterson! from harry potter?” Totally like that. But Yentl… Yentl, I know!

So in the end it turns out “Amish Rob” was “Yentl Rob” in our hearts and we really know bubkitss when it comes to fan fic but one things for sure, we LOVE seeing you out and aboot (yea Canada we got you!) in Vancouver or via pictures from upcoming magazines we’ll wallpaper our laundry rooms in. THIS is what makes blogging fun. YOU!

Papa can you seeeee me??
Themoonisdown

So what’s you think of Amish/Yentl Rob? Do you want to be the Hadass to his Agvidor? Would you serve him potatoes in your parents dining room? OK, I’m a fan. Clearly.

Source: Robsessed, Absofreakinglutely, other places?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

104 Responses to “Breaking it down: Rob stars in a remake of Yentl”

  1. minuit_passe says:

    I think Annie Leibovitz is still broke and subtilized all thebudget for her crazy sets. Might as well subtilize the budget for the clothes too and show us more Rob, the more the better. Ya know to make up for all the MIA time.
    I also think that with all the news i’m back and starting to miss him hard. And your breaking downs are always too good.

  2. JellyBeanRainbow says:

    I might do the unthinkable and NOT buy the Vanity Fair if Yentl/Amish Rob is on the cover and read the interview on the internet.

    But I’m excited about the photos, they offer so many opportunities for future photoshoping and straight edge FF.
    Not that I read it, it you want a third person for a clueless convo about FF, I’m the one.

    • minuit_passe says:

      clueless fanfic non reader no4 here, though after reading a post by UC about the “shaft” I’m convinced some breaking down or better, dramatic reading would be epic.

    • melronin says:

      clueless FFreader #5
      omg…I think me is not normal in the Robworld!
      Have a lot of FF in my mind though…lot of Rob and me involved…does that count???

    • robgirl86 says:

      I know what “the Office” is…lol, cause in GQ interview 2009 (?..omg..so long ago)Rob admitted to know about FF.
      for the rest I still prefer the “the other ” Office, the show I mean..

  3. drsaka says:

    I find the hat confusing too! Which genre is this?????

    But he looks great, in any case.

    I loved the ff mash-up! What story was that again?? 🙂

    • melronin says:

      I have some crazy ideas about Rob and that hat! Lot of possibilities there…no??? 😀

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Honest to God, FF messes with your mind! I am reeling sometimes, not knowing for sure what is FF, what is canon and what happened IRL…Help!! Did Rob wear a weird Amish hat in BD, or in a Jewish FF or did that never happen??? I’ll go to bed now. The cat is confused.

  4. JellyBeanRainbow says:

    And thank you, Canada / Vancouver, you have always been good to us.

    • I've been Robbed says:

      You like us, aye?

      Well, I’m not really from Canada, but I have cousins there, does that count.

      Love Yentl Rob, and Amish Rob, any way he is!

  5. robgirl86 says:

    Agree totally to Palin, Canada & Yentl-Rob!
    A. Leibowitz will KILL us, I’m sure, I love her work.
    I heard as well of some alligator posing near Rob!
    I have no clue why this is supposed to be HOT, but am sure, it will be!
    For now am more in love with the shoot/SET pics where she tries to give him the “idea”………that smile(read white shirt)…awwwww

  6. Robsessedgirl says:

    I have been straying from Rob lately(hey Andrew/Jesse) but I was back to my old self when I saw these pictures. I didn’t know it was a cover shoot, I thought it was just a story in the new issue. BUT NOW I’M EXCITED. Annie knows what she’s doing, I mean usually she gets people naked for shoots so I was hoping for that but…nevertheless I’m excited for this. and the interview. and for the fic chat, I don’t read as much as I did, I only read MotU now. if Annie was really tight with us she would’ve gotten Tom for the shoot. nothing says reconciliation like hats and alligators!

    • The Old One says:

      I really want to see a remake of Yentl with Rob and TomStu and an alligator. Are alligators kosher?

    • roslynselene says:

      But…but… TomStu says he’s scuuuuured of gators. (You know home wrecking whores are famous for their fear of gators/crocks [not to be confused with cocks and the footwear]). Rob tried to tell him it’s not dangerous but not even Rob could make himself sound convincing. Oh well, there’s always the next photo shoot. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • southernbelle says:

      LOL RLB are you back in our fold now?

  7. Zees84 says:

    How could I NOT comment on these pics? Well, given that the network is down at work, and I’m trying to write this on my IPod, I’m going to have to wait until later when I can let my fingers fly freely, a phenomenon that pics of Rob are apt to cause.

    Just be it know that I totes lived the Yeshivaward fic.

  8. Recee13 says:

    Just want to know when the production of “Fiddler” opens ?
    If I were a rich man,
    Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
    All day long I’d biddy biddy Bella’s bum.Cause I am a wealthy man!
    Or is he practicing on the Twilight version of Sunrise Sunset for his lullaby to
    Renesmwhatever?

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      “All day long I’d biddy biddy Bella’s bum” – pure gold there.

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Maybe it’s a Yentl, Fiddler, Twi mash-up. With Rob singing, dancing it’s all kinds of awesome!! (and you guys wanted Dirty Dancing, lol!)

    • irishpixie82 says:

      ::Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match…..find me a find…catch me a catch::

      and then we will make sweet lurve while “Sunrise Sunset” plays in the background…oh yes.

      I am sooo gettting that hat for my own personal Jew.
      Which hubby would blasphemously (sp?) point out that it would kinda make him my own personal Jesus…cause Jesus was a Jew….tru fax.

  9. melronin says:

    Girls you cracked me up! Haven’t laughed that hard in ages!

    Rob can you seeeee me?? hear meeee…

    Love your looks baby…black Rob is my favourite Rob
    and yes you can seduce me even as an Amish/Yentl/Rabi no problem at all…all fine by me!
    Am very easy to please…really…you just have to push my right buttons!

    Gaaaawd you look sexyyyyy!!!

    But between you and me…that alligator was out of plastic right? Yep…thought so 🙂

    Looooove that you have a new puppy!
    Can we be his godmothers and name him/her?
    Let us know!

    love you…can’t wait to get my hands on VFmag
    Mel

    • drsaka says:

      Suggest names for Rob’s new puppy!
      (and maybe the alligator too?)

    • roslynselene says:

      Rob has a new puppy?! What? Damn! I was gonna give mine away cause I can’t keep her anymore.

      Dear Rob,
      How would you like to have two dogs? I named her Mindy (sorry to any Mindy’s) and she def has that Beyonce walk thing. She’s a bitch sometimes (no pun intended) and doesn’t like to lick anyone or be affectionate but she likes to play and doesn’t bite. 😀 If you won’t take her, my grandmother is next in line on the waiting list. How sad is it that you’re number one on every list (even before my grandmother)? Smh.

    • southernbelle says:

      I missed the puppy part! Wow, is that for real? I’ve been out of the loop.

      • roslynselene says:

        Me too, apparently. I didn’t even know there was a photo shoot. LOL

        • southernbelle says:

          bwahahaha well I knew about the shoot because a friend lives like almost next door to that swamp place where the pics where taken :).

          How are you bb, I emailed you.

          • roslynselene says:

            Deleted my emails. 🙁 I had to; there was so much crap on my acct. I’ll make a new acct and make sure I never get Rob Google alerts (that’s crazy and still can’t believe the 2000+ alerts I received because 99.7% of the “alerts” are pure shit).

  10. Nelle says:

    “Out and aboot,eh?” Palin 2012. Heaven help us. Canada’s going to get really crowded!

  11. melronin says:

    Am sure you girls have seen this already but I wanted to post it here as well…

    New Biel video with special colaboration of OUR RG!!

    It’s amazing….love it tonsssss

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMjkLIy-7lU

    • drsaka says:

      Congrats to Biel and RG- it’s so funny and totally fun!

    • Mieze says:

      Seriously, I was so overwhelmed when I saw it this morning. I´m sp proud of the girls… they captured why we love Rob so perfectly! One of the best Rob videos ever, thank you RG and Biel :-*

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      AWESOME video, ladies. Love it.

    • robgirl86 says:

      Mel, THIS is embarrassing..lol..anyway ladies, thx for the compliments & yes, it was great fun to work on Rob ( 🙂 ) and all my love to Biel! She’s simply awesome!

    • MariaCecilia says:

      OMG now I’ve got tears in my eyes: from laughing and from being really moved, because I just remembered why I love this weird, weird boy SO much!! Thank you!

    • robsfuturemate says:

      That vid was EPIC!!! Classic Rob at his finest! Wonderful job Biel and RG <3

    • enviro says:

      Love love love it! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, how can you not love this guy?? Thanks so much! Can’t wait for the regular interviews coming up for WFE . . . I just hope he isn’t so experienced now that we won’t get some of those great unfiltered facial expressions, candid reactions, etc. etc. that make him such a big cut above the rest.

  12. dazzledtodeath says:

    Ok, it’s Rob, I’ll be buying VF no matter what but I admit I had a WTF?? moment when I first saw these pics. I know Annie Leibovitz is a genius, it’ s supposed to look “old-fashioned” ala WFE, blah blah blah,but this is a little..bizarre. And I hear there’s an alligator involved. So,Rob’s an old-fashioned Amish alligator wrangler? Hmmm. I’ll (sort of)reserve judgment until the pics come out.

    Is it wrong of me to want a plain old, dead sexy photoshoot like GQ or Details?

    • Mieze says:

      Same here d2d, I love Annies Photos but this sounds a little weird, even for me. Still I am sure there will be some great pics soon 🙂

      The hat…is it wrong to want the sex hair free and wild and…wait, I´m still talking about the hat right 😉

    • southernbelle says:

      I had a WTF moment too when I saw these pics. LOL I’m buying it because of him, typical Robsessed girl that I am.

    • roslynselene says:

      If I buy VF next week, it’ll be my first Rob mag I own. I’m still kicking my ass for not buying VF 2009. Ack! That photo shoot is to die for. He looks sooooo *sigh* I’m gonna stop here. I don’t wanna get all gushy.

      • southernbelle says:

        Oh stop depriving yourself and gush! lol You know you want to! That VF 2010 and GQ 2009 were the best!

      • yertlesmom says:

        I missed out on all the previous Robphotomags too–arrived too late on the Rob love scene. Can’t wait to get my hot little hands on this one, though. Wasn’t sure about the hat, the alligator,et al but I am putting my faith in Annie Lebowitz (please, please, please!).

    • MariaCecilia says:

      You had me at Rob as an “old-fashioned Amish alligator wrestler” LOL! Imagine the visuals “Down, boy, down!”
      I agree that Annie L is usually to die for, and that the hat looks weird: but Rob can probably bring off anything, so I will buy VF, sucker that I am..

    • enviro says:

      I’m with you. Honestly I have my doubts about Annie L. I love some of her stuff but she seems a little hit or miss. And putting a non-beanie hat on Rob? Color me dubious. I can’t imagine anything better than the Bruce Weber shoot, but all in all I’m just counting my blessings that we get another VF cover relatively soon. I bet the interview is adorkable! Should be out soon, right??

  13. Vera says:

    That´s an interesting letter, And If you choose Judie Law’s manip instead of Tom Stu’? A girl can dream…

    In spite of its good quality, I didn´t finish reading “wide awake”.

    No other fanfic is so vivid, so emotional, so brilliant like Master of Universe. That fanfic is the proof an author can write about sex and odd stuff, she can write about subjects that everyone is tired to read about and even so she works out a breaking-heart and delicious story, very entertaining…That is talent…I will miss Fifty when it has finished.

    Rob dressed in a black shirt will be the death of me. I don´t know if VF will be released here at march beginings, so that I count on you to scanning the cover and interview.

    Btw, I am sorry but he doesn´t look like Edward. Rob would be disappointed at you.

    TGIF, have a nice weekend!

  14. maggie says:

    OMG! UC and Moon! I can’t stop laughing. You two are the most hysterical women I’ve ever encountered. This break down goes into your Hall of FAME. I’ll comment later when I can pick myself up off of the floor!

  15. Janetrigs says:

    Bless you and your FF Fail talk! I love yous guys and am filled with love today….clearly.

    These pics are weird
    I’ll move to Canadia too
    When Ron is a Man I LOVE IT
    Why is there a child screaming in my office

    • MariaCecilia says:

      Janetrigs – are you sure that the screaming is not Bella giving birth? I’d go check if I were you, because the line between fiction and reality tends to get blurry…

  16. chochang says:

    1. I haven’t seen Yentl.

    and 2. Hurray UC & Moon for being Democrats.

    No offense.

  17. Recee13 says:

    Alligator? Ummkay WHY? Did she go he’s way too hot for any of my ideas and then puke out her entire props locker? Crikey!!! I’m still buying it for now but if this thing ends up with bears dancing in the background or monkeys in suits I’m done!

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      But Annie probably didn’t realize that putting him in unsexy Jewish Pilgrim attire did not make him any less sexy.

      I hope hope hope the alligator is blow-up & all-perdy-like.

  18. natteringyeahrobber says:

    I hope the photoshoot went off into further bizarre territory. Why stop at PILF (p for pilgrim) Swamp Ranger? Why not have the alligator wear lipstick and a “Healthcare for All” t-shirt? Why not have Sarah Palin in the bushes with a shotgun – she loves to shoot endangered species, and it would really piss her off if the alligator was wearing her lipstick and had a liberal agenda. And maybe the alligator could be lesbian and in love with another female alligator, just to really razzle-dazzle her. It could be Rob v. Sarah v. lesbian alligator. With Rob and bleeding heart lesbian alligator winning and Sarah hanging upside down in Rob’s gator net.

    • The Old One says:

      Annie Liebowitz, are you paying attention here? This is pure gold.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      oops, i guess alligators in LA and FL are not endangered, turns out there are millions of them (maybe not millions of lesbian liberal alligators though). been on the west coast too long!

    • robsfuturemate says:

      That pic makes me think he should be on one of those Mall Cop things a la Paul Blart. (I think it’s the location of his hands.)

      Ah man! They had Edward on that in Vampires Suck!! No wonder.

  19. Jules says:

    Two VF style break down in one week! It’s like winning the LTR lottery. I’ve been pulled out of lurking.
    Feels like 2009.
    😀

  20. southernbelle says:

    I heard “Hava nagilah, hava nagilah, havah nagilah…” when I saw Rob with the hat and black jacket! I wondered too why they dressed him like that.

    Moon, that Shiksa pic is awesome! Hey I know some Shiksa’s that are hot! You don’t need that perm. 😛

    Dear Rob,

    WTheck? I don’t know what’s the point of these pics but you know I was just happy to see you! You look hot in the one where you’re wearing a black dress shirt~! That’s my fave!

    I’m looking forward to getting this VF magazine next week

    Love,
    Me

  21. southernbelle says:

    Thank you Moon and UC for another lovely breakdown!!!

    I swear I thought I saw an alligator creeping behind Rob in the pic of him with a hat, lying on his stomach on the ground! ;P

  22. Chocoholic says:

    I feel compelled to mention that there is, in fact, already a fanfic about Amishward, in case these photos got anyone in the mood for that kind of thing……..ha ha ha ha. (The Cannabean Betrothal by ItzMegan73).

  23. southernbelle says:

    Looking at the Office banner compels me to read it again. I wish I could!

  24. natalie_MKH says:

    Today is my birthday and I laughed like my stoned 16-year-old-self used to. I love you girls.

  25. Cath says:

    Moon and UC, I bow before you, hahahahaha.

    Yentl! THAT I wasn’t expecting, but oh my, made me laugh!!!

    But now I really want it to happen, like a lot…(I’m weird like that…)

    Rob breaking into song unexpectantly, it’d be worth the money…

    Great breakdown girls, have a good Friday!!!

  26. maggie says:

    GAHHK! YeshivaRob studying Torah, Amishward driving a horse and buggy, MotU and other assorted fan fic, Annie Leibovitz shooting a possibly partially nekkid Rob, Sarah Palin, Barbra Streisand (singing), an alligator, a puppy and hot pocket flavored knishes??? All in one thread??

    Can someone please pass me a heineken??

  27. MariaCecilia says:

    I ran across this random quotation that made me smile and think of you Rob. Won’t you run and scream properly and open your mouth wide for me in BD2? As a sign that you heard me? 🙂

    ”You’re an actor, aren’t you?” The man nodded silently and averted his eyes.
    “I’ve seen you in films. You always seem embarrassed at the thought of what you have to say next.”
    The man laughed and again averted his eyes.

    “Your trouble, I believe, is that you always hold back something of yourself. You’re not shameless enough for an actor. In my opinion you should learn how to run properly and scream properly, with your mouth wide open. I’ve noticed that even when you yawn you’re afraid to open your mouth all the way. In your next film make a sign to show that you’ve understood me. You haven’t even been discovered yet. I’m looking forward to seeing you grow older from film to film.” (Peter Handke, The Left-handed woman)

  28. robsfuturemate says:

    Since I’m late to the party today, my only new thought is this:

    Please tell me that alligator is toothless like the tiger in WFE. Sooo that’s the connection!

  29. Leigh says:

    Since I grew up in an area that had a large Amish presence this post cracked me up. Those photos make is so easy to picture Rob driving his buggy around town neighing at the pretty girls. Or attending a barn raising. I look forward to the day he gets married and starts to grow his man beard.

  30. stupidshiny says:

    I still think his hands look purple!! (In the lying down shots…)

  31. ruby tuesday says:

    As a fellow Rob fan and Canadian (eh), on behalf of my country, we welcome you with open arms UC and Moon!

    I keep telling myself or more trying to convince myself it’s a ‘Johnny Depp hat”

  32. fdrinconnue says:

    As we share love here every day, just a present for you ladies, this wonderful french love song with subtitles :
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSD8RPDViMM

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Oh, how I cry for the absent lips of Rob. I now need a cigarette and a cobblestone road. In the mood to smoke and walk aimlessly around France.

      Still, great lyrics. 🙂

  33. […] there was NO alligator/crocodiles in YENTL so this reptile is NOT acceptable for this photoshoot. Didn’t they read our initial Breakdown? UC: Would a lizard be better? Moon: no a goat or something. yentl is in poland not the swampy […]

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