Confessions: Robert Pattinson’s lady boy hands freak me out

Dear Rob,

I have a confession to make. *cue Usher music* While this will be considered blasphemous to like 99% of the fandom and I may be ousted for it I just have to share. Ok, here goes… I don’t find your hands sexy. That sound you just heard all the way up there in Vancouver was the sound of a billion Rob fans collectively gasping and clutching their hearts. I know, I know everyone seems to come at the mere mention of your hands let alone the sight but I can’t. Sad. The ladies like to talk about pictures like these…

mic fondling

and this

finger biting

and this

hair grabbing

and this

ok… I see why this one is great (titled robhjhands)

and when he does stuff like this


But truly, I don’t get it. It’s been brewing for a long time and I just never said anything but after a few recent incidents I decided it was time to come clean about my non love for your digits.

Let’s start with this…

This has been the image on my desktop for the last few months cause it’s hot, right? Well one day I happened to be…uuuhhh… staring at it and I noticed your hands… let’s zoom in shall we?

No really, were you unavailable so they had an old grandpa sit next to that elephant and they photoshopped your face on his? Cause WTF is up with those hands?

and then there’s this gem from last week’s Vanity Fair cover…

he’s hot and all butΒ  let’s zoom in shall we??

Upon closer inspection it looks as though you have finger nails like a coke dealer or pimp from the 80s or the weird guy who hangs out at your corner bodega. Sorta long and lady like with a long nail on them. I shudder thinking about it. Now I know that it’s probably just guitar hands and you have nails for picking but it’s gross. Use a pick not your nails. YUCK!

So ok, to me you have lady boy hands and it kinda creeps me out when I think about it or when I see the old grandpa hands on my desktop (taking suggestions for a new wallpaper in the comments). I guess I’m just more into guys having man hands that look a bit more rugged. Now they don’t need to be like holding hands with the sand paper bin at Home Depot but don’t make me wonder whether I’m holding a guys hands or my grandmas. That’s just weird.

These are my confessions!

Do you have a thing for his hands or are you like me and don’t get the love? Spill! And really whats with the weird grandpa hands in that WFE pic?

Have a confession? Do you have a thing for how he says certain words? Want to confess your distain for his shoes? Whatever’s on your mind it’s time to confess! Email us your confessions!

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134 Responses to “Confessions: Robert Pattinson’s lady boy hands freak me out”

  1. robgirl86 says:

    I LOVE his hands,that’s all.

  2. drsaka says:

    Rob’s unusual hands: 1) they are large, 2) how about the pic from the RM era where he’s bending his fingers back at almost a 90 degree angle at the hand/finger joint?, and 3) the gif where he’s got his fingers going together in a mesmerizing double-jointed wave?
    Hands worth watching, imo! :)))))

  3. drsaka says:

    OT- can I just say that that Rob calling a somersault a ‘roly poly’ is just about the cutest thing ever??? Thank you Chris Weitz!!
    Rob does a good backwards roly poly.

    • robsfuturemate says:

      I don’t know if I’d call that a ‘good’ roly poly. But it’s def a perfect ‘Rob roly poly.’

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I know, I had to sneak a peek at the Chris W. twitter feed the other day and I gotta say that I’m sort of in love with him now (not in a Rob way, just in a “will occasionally check his Twitter feed when I’m bored at work way”). Someone asked him if he ever touched Rob’s hair when working with him and his response was something like “I could not stop touching Rob’s hair – that’s why I didn’t get hired for Eclipse.”

      Rob…roly poly…love.

    • Cath says:

      *giggle* roly poly… *giggle*

  4. JellyBeanRainbow says:

    Thank you thank you thank you Moon,
    his hands annoy me sometimes more than they creep me out.
    My two for the hall of fame:
    black fingernails
    and that part from Remember Me, when Tyler is having diner with his father and his girlfriend, the way he is holding wine glass (and chewing), it makes me angry and reminds me of the old interview, where Rob said there was a lot of yelling going on.

    So, dear Rob, I’d probably yell at you as well if you’d be dating me and walking around with black fingernails and holding your glass like a gay person with broken fingers (and that was said in a Chelsea Handler manner, and I like gay people as much as she does, fyi)

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Spent the day looking at the preschooler’s black fingernails, normal right. Rob’s fingers got nothing on these kids!!! I’m guessing Rob’s is left over residue from the guitar fret. But srsly, do these parents not give their kids baths?!

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Ok, just checked the hands of my 6 year old and 3 year old. 6 year old had one fingernail full of weird purple stuff (crayon?). 3 year old had 4 (GASP!) dirty fingernails, and I just gave him a bath yesterday night (LTR was slow yesterday…kids get bathed on slow LTR days only…just kidding, sort of).

        But really, kids are kids. They play outside, use markers and crayons, eat non finger food with their hands, and do the half-ass washing up thing when parents aren’t standing right behind them in the bathroom. Especially my kids. Rob…well, if he needs me to stand behind him (or in front) while he showers to make sure he gets clean, that’s OK. No problem.

    • Alex says:

      Lucky for you Rob doesnt date you.

      He wont have a chance with you in future too. So you dont have to freak out or yell.

      You dont know how lucky you are.

      I envy you.

  5. Allryans says:

    The nails are ick. As are almost all long nails (girls included). My ex had hands like that. He was an artist and couldn’t even change his own flat tire he was so worthless manual labor. He looked great holding a paintbrush but clammy is not what you want for heavy petting.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Maybe we dated the same guy. Only mine had dirty artist(e) hands PLUS a few scraggly long guitar pick hands…ewh ewh ewh. But oddly his hands were like super super soft, baby butt soft with no hair – that was the deal breaker. A man shall not have hands 3X smoother than mine. In his case, soft hands it meant he couldn’t fix anything, from cars to his erection issues.

      Shudder. Must forget. Must forget. Must forget that one.

  6. che says:

    luvvvvvvv lady hands and jealous!!!!

  7. LadyN says:

    Ok so I totally agree, always have! Crackhead long nail pimp comes to mind. I mean my uncles who are drunks and carry guns look like that.., and I don’t find my uncles hot. Hell no and no thank you.

    But even if hands like his wouldnt do me any justice, do you know what he still has?

    A mouth. *wiggles brows suggestively*

    That is all.

  8. che says:

    also maybe that’s why Kristen didn’t want to hold hands
    and that was the issiue behind the ‘wrist holding’ thing..Δ±mmm i just got it*bubblelight*

  9. dazzledtodeath says:

    Rob has the most beautiful hands. Yes, they are somewhat effeminate but Rob himself is very pretty so I wouldn’t expect him to have big bear paws. Those hands do something to me (I won’t go into detail, use your imagination)-first of all they’re huge, with looong fingers and just..beautiful. And honestly? the nails don’t bother me. They might need to be trimmed for certain activities but I don’t mind doing that. In addition to cutting Rob’s nails I would also be willing to bathe him, shave him and any other personal grooming he needs assistance with.

  10. RobsFan-tasy says:

    GASP! MOON how could you???? Oh for shame!

  11. TheSnuggler says:

    I wonder whether he’s related to Anne Boleyn, when I scan my gaze quickly over his hands he looks as though he has a thumb and five fingers on each hand. Useful for playing the piano though! I think this subject is like the vile burgundy suit, opinion will always be divided. Some say meh, others go very quiet and thoughtful and then swoon. On the Twilight commentree Rob was talking in a critical manner about his hands and even the voluble CathCougar paused and gulped before making a comment about them being musician’s hands. Is it hot in here? *fans self*

  12. Michelle says:


    I love you for this. And while he is hottness embodied…I’m a hands person…and his…well…they freak me out.

    I can handle the long fingers, fine. But the fingernails?! DEAR SWEET BABY JESUS NO! Clip them bad boys, son! EWWWWWWWWWWWW.

    I faint everytime I can see them and their nasty-non-clipped glory.

    Gag. Someone get Clare on this…stat. God knows Mullephant could care less.

    • ladyofthemeadow says:

      Long fingernails are gross, but…. all the better to scratch my back with. I’m getting goosebumps at the mere thought.

  13. robsfuturemate says:

    Yes, I have a thing for those looongg fingers! But the VF pic does kinda freak me out, fingers included. Rob himself says he has effeminate hands in the Twi com. Not good for football but very perfect for piano playing!!

    Dear Rob,
    I understand the guitar picking. It does sound so much better without the pick. But does your fingernail really need to be THAT long, I think not. And a little cleaning now and then would help make these the perfect hands!

    Just saying,
    Your Future Mate

  14. natteringyeahrobber says:

    OK, not a huge fan of his hands, but in terms of flaws, it could be worse. He could have nose barnacles or giant hairy moles, for example. Mainly I’m just too busy looking at his hair and neck and eyes that the hands don’t seem to be an issue. Besides, if they do become an issue, I can just put gloves on them. Naked Rob, just gloves, that seems to actually work for me. As long as said gloves are not latex examination gloves we are in business.

  15. Caroline says:

    I admit, some of those picks do make his hands look old, but I love that they are on the feminine side, I would imagine they are very soft. Plus, you know what they say about a man’s thumb, apparantly, if you double the thumb length, it is approximately the size of his manhood when it’s not in the mood to come out and play. Looking at Rob’s thumb alone makes me tremble. Say no more.

    • maggie says:

      Hand size and foot size are often a hint of the size of other things on a man. I think about that quite often when I think of Rob’s hands (and feet). But it’s not the size, I love. I just love the long fingers and the triple-jointedness. There are so many possiblities that come along with those fingers. I love when he runs those fingers through his hair. I even love how they look on that alligator. I study his hands religiously. Sorry, moon, but I must disagree today. Fingerporn ranks quite high on my list of Robporn.

      OK. Got to go now and try to find a cold shower somewhere here at work….

      • RobsFan-tasy says:

        Once again I agree completely with you Maggie. I am shocked and appalled (but still love you guys) at our friends here today.

        Dear Rob, some of us adore you for ALL that you are! in everyway. There is nothing wrong with your hands so don’t listen! Come hang out with those of us who appreciate EVERYTHING about you.

        With Love and Respect,
        P.S. Never Change Baby!
        *Walks away singing “I Love You Just The Way You Are”*

  16. superhumanmoron says:

    Another reason for having the long nail? For nose picking. Yea, I said it.

  17. robsfuturemate says:

    The grandpa hands are a mystery. They really don’t seem to match anything we’ve ever seen!

    Maybe Hal couldn’t come in one day so Rob filled in for him. They then forgot to take off the old hand makeup when he went back to Young Jacob. (oh, wait! that’s what Summit would do!)

    • The Old One says:

      The grandpa hands are very weird. WTF?

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        I don’t quite see them as grandpa hands. Maybe just in character hands. He’s supposed to be working hard, with animals etc.. – I’m sure that’s what hands look like after dealing with rope, cages, circus equipment, animals (lots of hand washing & back in the 1930’s most soaps were really harsh), and exposure to the elements. You can tell so much about a person from looking at their hands, and I think maybe Rob put his hands in “character” for that photo.

        • The Old One says:

          If Rob or the director or the makeup people or whoever put that much thought into how his hands should look, it makes me very excited about the level of detail in the rest of it!

          • natteringyeahrobber says:

            Apparently the wardrobe & set people tried very hard to make sure everything was period-appropriate. I love it when movies get the details right – the music, the costumes, the books on the shelf, the packaging for cereal popular at the time, old clocks. Honestly though, they can probably get it all wrong & I won’t notice, my eyes will be on Rob.

  18. Greenleafgirl says:

    I have, very briefly, held his right hand. I distinctly remember thinking in that moment that ‘he has the softest skin I’ve ever felt. Never done a day of hard work in his life.’
    However, his hand is HUGE. and his fingernail scratched me. Didn’t care for the nails but gah! Think of how good he could palm your…nevermind!

    • drsaka says:

      WHAT!!!!!! when and where was this??????

    • robgirl86 says:

      you had me at “softest skin I’ve ever felt” (…)

    • melronin says:

      Girl..we def need more details…lol… desperately πŸ™‚

    • che says:

      palm your….. go on pls πŸ˜€ πŸ˜› LOL

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      wha wha wha???? even briefly….sigh…..envious.

    • Cath says:

      *Drools* Rob can scratch me anyday…ahem…

      Sings: ‘I wanna hold your handddddddd, now let me hold your handdddddd.’

      The Beatles used ‘hold your hand’ as an euphemism for something else, just saying…


    • robsfuturemate says:

      I love how you drop this little gem and then leave. It’s kinda funny. Okay, it’s so not…GIVE US THE DETAILS!!!

    • LadyN says:

      Oh yey! real encounter of said hands. If his nails scratched me I’d probably be all giddy and find the white lines on my hand after… then lick them. Errr…what? No, I wouldn’t!

      Well then, huge hands makes up for…just about anything. I can certainly find something to fill them huge hands with. Just sayin…

  19. Brenn says:

    Well said Moon! I’ve always thought the same thing.

    I really love men’s hands — my hubby’s hands are one of his best features. They’re really sexy. Rob, on the other hand (no pun intended), really does have girly hands.

    If his hands are that girly, makes me wonder if his feet are too. Long and skinny? In need of a pedicure?

  20. Susiecueablelovesrob says:

    Moon – gotta admire your guts!!!!!Love you!

  21. gizmo says:

    You’re STILL using XP?! And you’re on Rob’s case for the jitterbug?

    Agree, was never into the hands. Always the lips. And the jaw. That’s why I got over him when he was sporting that huge beard. I shudder.

    • chochang says:

      oh thank dear god i wasn’t the only one who noticed that! geeks rule!

      so yeah, the real issue here aren’t rob’s hands. the real issue is why is moon still on windows XP.


  22. roslynselene says:

    His hands aren’t an issue for me. They’re fun to look at though! Buuuuuut he has my brother’s hands and I find my brother’s crooked hands creepy. ICK!
    But you know, Moon? If they do become an issue, just keep those hands busy! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ You know, by making him play the piano and guitar! (Head out of gutter, people!)

  23. roslynselene says:

    And all those thumbsdown (there’s a shit-ton today), I think it’s Rob’s crooked fingers, accidentally (or purposely) clicking the thumbsdown buttons.

  24. niahid says:

    Yeah, i’m not a hand person. BUT when I saw WFE new trailer, the way his hand caress her thigh , i’m all for the hand, the origin of fingerporn. Wonder will I survive watching Bel Ami?

  25. JenTrulyOutrageous says:

    I feel ya and I second your emotion. The “hand porn” was never for me either. He has longer nails than me. (Google ‘hand porn’ and it’s like all Ron pics) For all his nervous ticks I’m truly surprised he doesn’t bite his nails.

  26. kristen's bestie says:

    Well for me it was like Robporn Fridays! Thanks Moon!

    Not sure about some of those pictures of his hands though. I’ll just stick my fingers in my ears and yell “la-la-la-la”. OR I’ll just think about THE SNAIL and that is wayy worse than the grandpa hands.

  27. LT says:

    Girl, you crazy.

  28. kandnandb says:

    My husband owns his own air compressor company so his hands/nails are stained & scarred from years of working w/ them. The grease rarely comes out completely so I’m used to it….dirty nails aren’t necessarily a deal-breaker, unless the guy is totally skeevy & gross. Which Rob isn’t.

    Oh, and my husband isn’t either. (Sorry hubby, I sometimes forget about you when the subject is Rob.)

  29. roslynselene says:

    So it’s confirmed that the WFE premiere will be at NYC on Apr 17th. A little bummed out but they did say that they’re considering giving the fans in LA a screening and to stay tuned for info on contests for tickets. At least it’s something, right? πŸ™‚

    • robsfuturemate says:

      That’s a bummer for us but glad for the ones that already bought tickets. Do you think that had some influence? Either way, we need to keep our eyes and ears open for that screening!!!

      • roslynselene says:

        It did! The Facebook Official WFE Movie people said that they talked to the publicists who are in charge of the premieres and informed them about the fans who bought tickets to NYC. I mean, it was nice that they took that into consideration and I’m glad the people didn’t have to waste their $ but it’s sort of a bittersweet thing for me. Oh well. I just expect Cosmopolis to premiere in LA, then. πŸ˜› It’s only fair! Lol

        P.S.- They said tickets to the LA screening are free. They’ll let us know if it gets confirmed and all that good stuff. πŸ™‚

        • robsfuturemate says:

          Well, we know there will be BD. But I’m not camping out!!

          • roslynselene says:

            No siree Bob, I think I’ll pass. Lol I don’t think I have the balls to attend a BD premiere. I *know* it’ll be insane since it’s like THE biggest shiz ever so there’s like no chance in hell I’m gonna be caught in the middle of all that craziness. I’ll take my chances and wait for Bel Ami or Cosmopolis. πŸ˜€

          • roslynselene says:

            JC, I just reread that. I used “like” twice in the same sentence. Oh no, my inner valley girl is coming out.

    • southernbelle says:

      Well neither one of those locations work for me. And I’m not going to be able to wait for Rob at a premiere, camping outside. I love camping but the real camping, like in the woods, peaceful, quiet. Not with hundreds of people side by side and where’s the bathroom? lol Kudos to those who can do it, it’ll drive me insane!

      • roslynselene says:

        Oh heyyy there SB! πŸ™‚ Yes, well real camping = “I love nature! :D” but camping in the middle of the city = “Twilight made me homeless for 7 days! πŸ˜€ :(“

  30. danisu says:

    OH THANK GOD SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT. i don’t get the hands either. i like a man with hands manlier than mine. and i have very girly hands.

    • Alex says:

      Ohhhh Rob will be highly disappointed if he can not have a chance to date you.

      Please give him a chance….. Please. You will find something that appeals to you. LOL

  31. Cath says:

    It’s a lovely day to respectfully agree to disagree Moon! πŸ˜‰

    I’d like to serenate Rob’s hands today, they’re not everyone’s cup of tea, but I love me some slender man hands, Freud would probably have a field day with my issues, but I digress. I’m probably just a crazy narcissist because I have those kind of hands too. So it’s kind of hard for Rob’s hands not to be at least a bit manlier than mine… πŸ™‚ So here’s a poem, a bit sappy, but lovely…

    Take it away, Mr. Pablo Neruda:

  32. lola says:

    lol, his hands are freaky to me sometimes too, just cause they look like plastic barbie dolls hands without any hint of toil or work on them over the years. I mean the guy plays guitar, where are the calluses? They’re total dorian gray hands.

    • robsfuturemate says:

      The calluses are on the side we never see! Whenever he takes a pic with palms up he plays with his fingers so we never get to see.

  33. southernbelle says:

    Are you kidding? I love, love, love his hands. They’re as beautiful as him. I’d love for those hands to be all over me *coughs* just saying.

    Sorry I haven’t been here in a while, RL has been so crazy. Great post! I love it! My fave pic is the “mike fondling.” Moon, you’re trying to kill us with that caption!

  34. Alex says:

    Very good oppertunity to insult Rob. You guys are like if I cant have him I must hate him.

    If he has a clean fingures then its “very irly or lady boy tupe” if he has a manly fingures its like “dirty”

    Cant win..can he?

    You know…Its about some of you fans Rob was talking in VF interview. Fans who will never be happy.

    Just Grow up and come to the real world.

    He has musicians hand because he has been playing PIANO since he was a kid.

    So Moon…. this is really a silly letter.

    Now Who is going to appreciate my guts?

    Ok…all thumbs down are welcomed LOL

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Oh Alex, here we go again. I’m not a thumbsdowner so let me tell you why I disagree.

      First of all, no one is perfect least of all Rob. And he’d be the first one to tell you so. Second of all, you can still love someone and not love everything about them or everything they do. Doesn’t mean you love them any less. Would Rob want us to love everything about him? He probably doesn’t care. He just wants fans and paps to stop beating down doors and windows screaming his name.

      PS- sometimes it’s good to be silly. This site loves to be silly. Every letter does not need to be Tweed Serious all full of Roblosophy!!! That’s why we LIKE it!!!!!!

      • robsfuturemate says:

        Srsly, one thumbs down that’s all you got? I thought you might be big enough to have a discussion and tell me the points you don’t agree with.

        Let’s keep it simple. Let’s agree to disagree and not have a thumbsdown war!

      • ladyofthemeadow says:

        I agree with you, it’s good to be silly once in a while. Rob can be silly in those media interviews, why can’t we be silly once in a while? And I think thumbsdown is mean, like Book Lauren mean.

        We need to establish “Tweed Silly” as an alternative to Tweed Serious.

      • Alex says:

        Oh No. I get the vibe of this site and I have enjoyed most of the letters.

        But..Like you pointed out we as posters dont have to agree with all UC and Moon or others letters.

        I know No one is perfect. Thats my point. ROB IS NOT PERFECT. He making fun of himself is something and his fans making fun of him is whole different thing to me. Some fans go over the line.

        People have to understand that Rob also has bad days and he has feelings. I could not understand Why most of ppl were complaining and making fun of his VF interview intead of trying understand why he felt that way.

        oh well…no point of arguing. I appreciate ur reply though.

    • roslynselene says:

      It’s okay, Alex. You didn’t seem to understand this site and that’s okay. I like Rob but like RFM said, I don’t like every single thing about him. There are some physical things I don’t find attractive (like his teeth, am I the only one who thinks they look…odd? Did the Invisalign fuck them up?) but I don’t expect him to be perfect. I will disagree with what he does or says (because that’s normal – really, it is). I’m not going to love everything he touches or breathes on. And that’s okay. πŸ™‚

      So ya see Rob, you’re not perfect (I AM) and that’s okay because if you were, the earth would explode. We can’t have two perfect people living in the same planet at the same time. πŸ˜‰

      (I kid! πŸ˜€ I kid!)

      • ladyofthemeadow says:

        Hey me too! I keep wondering about the lack of Invisalign. To the point I’ve compared older and newer photos to see if he’s had his teeth slightly straightened. I don’t think he has.

        I know, I’m just weird, or silly, but that’s normal and accepted here.

      • kristen's bestie says:

        Wha? It’s… not….I….. I can’t…..I’m……I’m so…..I just…… can’t. There’s only one flaw I can think of… and it’s his infatuation for SWSNBN.

        • roslynselene says:

          Yeah, I can’t see the “actress of our generation” either. Rob, show me the light! How did you come to this conclusion? Which of her movies did you see while being high? These are things I need to know. πŸ˜€

        • roslynselene says:

          Oh, and his admiration for Charlie Sheen. O.O WTF? Dude is losing it. He’s lost his damn mind.

        • kristen's bestie says:

          But he said he doesn’t do drugs, right? In the VF article? Just his nicotine addiction.

          • roslynselene says:

            He said he was allergic to pot. He didn’t say anything about being allergic to hallucinogenic mushrooms. πŸ˜‰

    • southernbelle says:

      Moon and UC needs to post the warning sarcasm sign again.

  35. Denise says:

    Well, I think I like the new place…anyway, I just wanna say one thing….ARE YOU EFFIN’ INSANE! OK, I lied, I wanna say something else. I do not care what his hands look like, if he’d only touch me with them it wouldn’t matter at all. Except, maybe, for a hangnail. Those fuckers hurt.

  36. Samantha says:

    OMG i have been thinking this for so long but i thought i was crazy..his face body bangin but his hands…aghhh
    : (

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