Stuff my Grandma says about Rob Pattinson

Best.Grandma.Ever

Dear Rob,

Last night I had a dinner date with my 73 year old grandmother. Then she took me to Kohls to buy me lots of gifts. [Sidenote: Moon & I discussed how all grandmom’s really love Kohls. I think it’s all the coupons. And the Sr. Citizen discount. But then I saved $110 at Kohls last night on some really cute things & decided I must be a grandmom. I love Kohls too.] But during dinner she slid something across the table towards me, and when I turned it over, much to my surprise (because I really really really thought I hid my obsession well) it was Rob & Reese’s photo from their recent cruise to Paradise from EW. My Grandmother said:

UC’s Grandmom: Did you see this?
[UC’s thoughts]: Duh! And omg omg omg.. does she know about LTR? And the things I’ve SAID on LTR?
UC’s Grandmom: It’s that fella you like. I don’t know what you see in him! He’s so ugly!!
[UC’s thoughts]: I knew she was going crazy!
UC’s Grandmom: His face is weird. Now SHE is beaitiful!!
[UC’s thoughts]: Grandma’s a Reecbian!

It cracked me up & got me thinking, is my grandma alone? Is she the only grandma out there who doesn’t find “that fella” smokin’ hot? Do you, Rob, not attract woman over a certain age or lifestyle? Once retirement hits & the bus trips with the ladies at the YMCA are bi-monthly affairs, do you have to close the book on Robsessing?

I did a lot of research (read: googled it once) about “Grandmom’s and Rob Pattinson” and what I found was… well, a couple posts on LTR, actually. Now, of course, the term “Grandmom” is relative… Grandmom’s can be YOUNG. Grandmom’s can be OLD. Grandmom’s can in between those two numbers. I KNOW we have readers who have grandkids. I KNOW we’ve gotten letters from women who are grandmothers (although I can only remember ONCE anyone fessing up to being over 70)

A post from the Answer Bitch on E! online last year popped up in my research. The question was:

I live in Maryland, but I would like to meet Mr. Robert Pattinson, shake his hand, and invite him out to dinner or drinks. I’m a 51-year-old grandmother, not a crazed teenager. I’d simply like to get to know a little about him on a one-on-one basis. What would be the best way to attempt this?

The answer to the question was what you could expect from someone called the Answer Bitch. It was bitchy & snarky &, well, true. That’s a crazytimes question. You have no interest in sitting down with a grandma, a hot cougar OR a crazed teenager for “dinner or drinks.” If you were, you think I’d be sitting on my bed, cat on my lap, New Moon T-shirt on my body (True) in Philadelphia? No way jose… I’d be all up your business in Vancouver, case of Heineken in hand, reservations to every restaurant in Vancouver booked, just so I make sure we get in at your favorite (Because apparently in this fantasy in my mind, Rob Pattinson has to make reservations and can’t just walk into any restaurant in the world)

The comments on this “Grandmother” post are lively… I posted the best, followed by my thoughts after the jump!

Ok! I’m 52 and yes I have the Hots for Rpatz, but who in there wildest dream would ever think they could say! Hey Mr Pattinson would u like to have dinner and drinks sometime? ha ha ha E is right stay in your hometown and dream baby, there’s nothing wrong in have a great dream!

Amen- Come on over to LTR !!

What if the grandma was Raquel Welch? Ivana Trump? Susan Sarandon? Jackyn Smith? Bo Derek? or any ageless woman in her 50’s or older? Would that make a difference?

Hmmm…. would it? Rob likes boobs & Bo’s got boobs…Maybe you’re on to something!

If you like Rob, pray for him. Ond others to. That is the best we can do for them. I do pray for Rob to keep him stgong mentaly, AND FREE OF ADDICTION. I pray for Kristen to keep her strong emotinaly and give her cougage to face the world.Peace..

I pray for Kristen to have “cougage” too

I’m also a 51-year-old grandmother from Maryland. Maybe all the “creepy” Maryland grandmothers should unite and extend a group invitation to Mr. Pattinson.

Hilarious. I mean, that is if you’re joking. I hope you’re joking. You should be joking..

Ouch. since when are people so harsh to the elderly? I’m only 16, but I know I’m not that close-minded to shoot down a simple question no matter how unlikely it may be…

HAHA “ELDERLY” Oh I love the ignorance of 16 year olds…

Hmmm….maybe you youngsters protest so much because you actually feel threatened by what a mature woman could offer Mr. Pattinson that you cannot, such as wisdom, experience, intelligent conversation, and (gasp) maturity. Much better than babbling, giggling, and air-headed observations. Many men prefer older women for those very reasons. We’re much more interesting than little girls.

I think I’m still gonna go with “anyone who thinks Rob wants to have a conversation with anyone other than people who are already friends, friends of friends or have been screened & approved by his “team” is delusional.” But I agree. The closer I get to 30 the more “mature” I feel. And also more depressed. Damn you late 20s.

Oh- if you’re wondering if I bought everything in the LC Conrad line at Kohls, of course I did. Thanks Grandmom!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What do you think? Is their an “age” limit to Robsessing? Anyone want to fess up to their age in the comments? Anyone out there a great-grandma? Cuz then I think you might have an actual chance at meeting Rob..Does anyone else have a story about something their grandma said about Rob!? Who else loves Kohls! 30% off RULES!

The first 12 weeks of the Resolutionary [Weight Loss/Healthy Living] Challenge 2011 going on in Rob’s Flat in The Forum ended last week. TwilightCAT was the winner! CONGRATS TwilightCAT!! Round #2 starts Monday April 4th Learn about it here!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

116 Responses to “Stuff my Grandma says about Rob Pattinson”

  1. LatersBaby says:

    Why is she not praying for Kristen to be “FREE OF ADDICTION”?

    BTW-As I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of Twi/Rob/FF fandom, I’m so glad to have this safe haven here on LTT/LTR. You really are the most ‘normal.’

  2. Janetrigs says:

    YEAH!! LC I wish Brody Jenner would start a line of clothinf for Khol’s. One can only dream.

  3. Brenn says:

    Well, I know I’m older than most of the LTR girls, but one of the things I love about this site is that age doesn’t matter. We all have a ‘normal’ obsession, and this is our outlet for sharing.

    How old are Dick and Clare? Just curious as to how I relate age wise.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Hmm. All I know is there is an 8 year age difference. So Dick looks early 60’s so Clare must be mid-late 50s? Best guess, though I guess if I am to be on Clare’s good side, I’d have to guess she was 45.

    • roslynselene says:

      I dunno how old they are. I was close to googling but then I thought, “No, no. I know more of Rob than I need to know already. This is where I draw the line.”

      Just 5 minutes ago, I saw a comment about Dick meeting Clare at 17 (coughjustlikeRstencoughmeanttobecough). O.O Ruh-roh! How…do they know this? *heads back slooooowly*. Idk about you guys, but somehow I feel better about not knowing certain things.

  4. dazzledtodeath says:

    Eh, I don’t know about an age limit. I haven’t found anyone in RL who finds Rob as incredibly hot as I do. It never ceases to amaze me, and then I want to tell them to watch some of his interviews-he’s funny! charming! sweet! intelligent! and then I realize that I might sound a bit..obsessed, and I restrain myself. Even my daughter is Team Jacob. But she’s only eight, so what doe she know?

  5. robsfuturemate says:

    My 82 yr old grandma knows nothing of Twilight and that “fella” I like. She did look a little shocked when my mom mentioned I like British men. Who knows, but at least now she’s on the right track in her “search.”

    Yay for Khols!! I thought that it was for people like my mom but I buy something everytime I go in! (no offense, but my mom needs a little help with fashion)

  6. toooldforthis says:

    Well my mother is 60 years old and a grandmother and she thinks Rob is hot. She’s already planning our WFE movie night and if Bel Ami ever gets released, she wants to see that with me as well.

    My mom also finds Johnny Depp and Ian Somerhalder “stinkin’ hot” (in her words) and calls me up to discuss the Vampire Diaries on a regular basis.

    (She may also have Justin Timberlake, Kid Rock, the Black Eyed Peas and Akon on her IPod – Her motto is you’re only as old as you feel!)

    • kristen's bestie says:

      This sounds like me. I can only hope that my Ipod still has all these songs on it when I’m 60 and I hope that I still Robsess. Really I do, because that will make me feel Normal and Young!!

    • Goodgirl Gone Plaid says:

      Stinkin hot!

      I have big love for this!

    • Nelle says:

      I like your mom. My kids think I’m nuts because I have Lady Gaga and Usher on my iPod. I think they’re the old ones now. I’m liking the new music.

      • toooldforthis says:

        My 14 year old son was mortified the other day because I came across the latest Eminem song (who I don’t usually like, but for some reason his latest song is growing on me) on the radio and cranked it up.

        He told me I was NOT cool and I was too old to be listening to that.

  7. melronin says:

    Is there an age limit to Robsessing..better yet…Robloving? It’s like asking if there is an age limit to being happy!!! So my answer is…

    NOPE!!!!

    hope that many many many years will pass till I am a grandma and hope that many many many years will pass till I stop checking on Rob every morning and on LTR every afternoon!!!

    Cause… simply…it makes me happy!!!

  8. minuit_passe says:

    My favourite comment was the prayer/addiction one, always a good laugh. And of course she was there by accident.
    Also, now I have visions of some sort of “Grandmas’ Groupie Groupe ” (code name GGG) on a trip to Vancouver.

    On another note, it kinda sucks (and not only for us but for him too) that he doesn’t want to talk to people outside of his bubble. My thing anywhere I go is to actually get to talk to people, it’s always interesting.

  9. natteringyeahrobber says:

    Dear Rob,

    I’m 39, with a few wrinkles and lots of gray hairs. Unlike Reese W., you can TELL my body has had 2 kids, too. Damned stretch marks. DAMN THEM. I’m sure that you would see me and write me off as a Twi-Mom looking for the latest Bella sheet set at Kohl’s. But Rob, see, that’s where you’d be wrong. I purchase my Bella-looking sheets at Crate and Barrel. I have nothing against Kohl’s (my teacher friends drag me in there all the time – teachers all seem to spend a lot of time in Kohl’s too!). But I am not a huge fan of their bedding. The sateen sheets sold there pills really fast. And the percale has that lined-notebook paper feel forever, never softens up. Maybe it’s just my local Kohl’s bedding dept. that sort of sucks. Plus they don’t seem to sell Bella sheets.

    Anyhow, I’m probably not your dream date. I think you’ve even said he won’t have affairs with married women (though you also said that not everything is black or white – HELLO GRAY! I GOT PLENTY OF GRAY HERE!). But you doesn’t need reservations for my kitchen, my soft Bella-esque sheets don’t make crinkly noises, and I have a lot of old-timey music media (CDs, records, even tapes!) for you to investigate. And a Casio keyboard. Vintage. You can play it all you want. Do you know Casio keyboards, Rob? Tons of fun.

    On that note, dinner is at 6:30 –
    Love,
    Me

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Dear Rob,

      “But you doesn’t need” – should be “but you don’t need.” I really should review my postings before submitting. Oops. Feeling pretty giraffe-y right now. Someone please splash some apple juice down my throat so I can wake the hell up.

      And I used of “he” instead of “you” in paragraph 2. Sometimes I forget that you actually read LTR and I revert to “he/him” instead of “you.” Again, off to find some apple juice.

      Wish I was an elephant so I could remember,
      NYR

      • Vera says:

        Nothing compares to experience, an experienced sexy woman would do nicely to Rob. I wonder how it goes with his supposed girlfriend, by no means I can figure… Wait, he reads LTR!

    • The Old One says:

      Yeah sometimes I think he might be more into a nice home-cooked dinner and chillin’ on the sofa more than a hot date if he were ever to decide to spend time with a fan.

      Anyway, pass the apple juice, please.

    • JenJadeEyes says:

      Holy Crap, NYR – I think you wrote my letter – mistakes due to mommy brain and all! Although I admit to no gray hairs – that’s what hair dye is for. Weight and stretch mark disappearing dye would be great too, if I could ever FIND the stuff – it’s like leprechauns at the end of the rainbow or something…

      Although I am *definitely* a fan of Kohl’s for the kiddoes clothes – hit the 80% off rack there quite often, buy a couple of sizes ahead and store them in bins in the garage. Between that and garage sales in the more-money-than-sense neighborhoods around me (one of these days I’m gonna run across a Frankenjacket, I just know it!) my kids have way too many clothes for not-so-much money, and when they ruin things I’m able to just shrug and say “don’t worry, you’ve got more”.

      We just got a Crate and Barrel near us, and it seems the sort of place not to take a running 3 year old mildly autistic child…

      JJE

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        I put Kohl’s stuff in bins too but then I forget all about the bins. Just the other week, I found an entire winter wardrobe for my 3 year old…only now it is spring, and next winter he’ll be way too big. I like to try to be all economical, but out of sight is out of mind. Luckily, we have friends who have younger kids so they get a lot of free stuff.

        I don’t take the kids to C&B, are you nuts? My 6 year old needs to touch everything and my 3 year old is extremely active. Way too stressful. I go to the C&B near my work instead so I can browse dish towels and white sofas (lol – they are nice to look at, though).

  10. kristen's bestie says:

    Let’s put the grandma thing in perspective. I have a friend who is 40 and is a grandma. Which is how old I am. I love Rob. I love Robsessing. I love LTR. But, as you all have told me time and time again. I am Normal. (still…Right?) So, the only thing weird about the 52 yr old Grandma is that she is asking how to have dinner with him and get to know him!

  11. Nelle says:

    I’m a Grandmom but have no delusions about Rob wanting to have dinner or a chat with me! However what most of you don’t realize (but you will) is that in many ways you will always feel like you’re still twenty!

  12. FiftyFifty3 says:

    I am not a grandmother but I’m 57 and from Maryland. Am totally obsessed with Rob, me makes me melt and he appears in my fantasies constantly. He’s been great for my libido, as has the fanfics. I feel a little insane that I’m always looking for him in mags and online until I read what everyone else is posting …. I am not alone!!! SO happy that he seems like such a normal person; alas he might not think I’m normal though! I do have a Twi-buddy or two. Loving it!

  13. roslynselene says:

    No grandma here but as I was on Robsessed a minute ago, I found a magazine scan. Now tell me this doesn’t look gay. http://i581.photobucket.com/albums/ss259/RobsessedBLOG/Magazines/Italy/RobertPattinsonACQUAELEFANTIDIPIUTV003.jpg
    The rainbow background is a nice touch. 😉

  14. roslynselene says:

    Ack! Robsessed is killing meeeee.

    http://s581.photobucket.com/albums/ss259/RobsessedBLOG/Water%20for%20Elephants/?action=view&current=Capture11PNG1.jpg

    I heard something about Rob being showered in apple juice so that the giraffe would lick him. Yeah, idk. But if it weren’t for that blasted ET logo and the huge “TOMORROW”, this would be my new desktop.

    • niahid says:

      IMO ,that is his best expression,in every movie he’s done . The angle’s just right . Fingerporn,jawporn,hairporn,killer smile all there. I’ll never got tired watching that scene.
      Really could feel the chemistry.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Showered in apple juice just to lick him? Giraffe IQs have just taken a dive in my book. Seriously, elephants have proven themselves to be much, much smarter – they sleep with him, put him in their mouths, let him ride them even. Smart elephants. Smart, smart. Giraffes have to be coaxed into it? Maybe those long necks are preventing flow of blood to their brains. Giraffes…HELLO! You want your street cred back, you need to wise up.

      • roslynselene says:

        Haha! Well at least he tastes like apple juice and not hotpocket grease. Rob, can you shower in apple juice everyday? Should a normal event occur where I decide it’s appropriate to 😛 your arm, I want you to taste like apple juice.

  15. niahid says:

    Funny how this post reminds me of Rob chatted with a granny on the escalator at vancouver airport 2 years ago.He was oozing pheromon then. The granny seems ready to combust too.

  16. melronin says:

    Sorry to change subject…but… wtf is that about wanting to make a good boy out of Georges??? They are gonna ruin Bel Ami cause Rob can’t be a badass???
    What???

    This is insane and somehow I see Summit playing a role in this again…but maybe it’s just me being a crazy greek again. Let the man shake Edward of his back people! You will still have an audience for BD…don’t worry!

    Guy de Maupassant will turn in his grave! seriously…

    Makes me really sad 🙁

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      …wha wha what??? I had not heard that? They are sanitizing Bel Ami for our protection? WTF?

      What next? Put Rob in a VW beetle for Cosmopolis and have him getting an in-car cuticle pushing instead of a prostate exam?

      • melronin says:

        Something like that I think!
        Have no words for this vandalism!

      • roslynselene says:

        I read that too.

        “…it’s really difficult to market it – especially with me in it,” Pattinson tells TF exclusively.

        “Everyone’s worried that everyone’s going to be thinking, ‘Oh I want him to be nice, he’s got to be nice to all the ladies’.”

        Those people are either 10 years old or Edward Cullen’s uptight grandma. I don’t care if Rob plays an obnoxious ass, I just want to see the movie.

        • melronin says:

          WORD!
          I just want Rob to be free to become great and play the role the way it’s supposed to be!
          I want to see him as authentic as possible and Georges is NOT a good boy!…the end

          • roslynselene says:

            Yeah! I read the book so I don’t want to be disappointed by the movie. I better see Rob’s ass or tomatoes WILL be thrown at the screen. #ObjectifyingRobAgain

        • The Old One says:

          Right, they were hoping that Bel Ami would appeal to the teen Twi demographic? Does not compute. Why would they have cast Rob in the first place if he wasn’t right for the role? As shown by this very post, his fan base goes way, way, beyond the Twiverse and all these horny old ladies can’t wait to see him in something serious! Get a clue, producer people, no PG rating for Bel Ami!!!

        • julikkers says:

          Hey, I’m an uptight grandma, and I say, don’t mess with the story!

  17. fdrinconnue says:

    When I saw Twilight the first time I found him ugly and now I don’t always find him hot. But his interviews dazzled me. I wanted to know what he thought exactly, and I began reading blogs and one day I knew I’d felt. But it’s all platonic, I’m only interested in reading or watching interviews. I’m 57 but non still grandmother.

  18. Vera says:

    Mummy who is 65 yo was breaking into my privacy, checking my drawers, as ever…

    M- What is this magazine about?
    V- The usual stuff, you know, diet, fashion, entertaining…They put this little vampire on the cover to sell them all.
    M- Little vampire? His name is Edward, besides, here he is just Robert…I wanted him to be my son…Don´t you think you are too old to keep magazines like this?
    V – I am not too old and you won´t fool me with this son story.

    Mamãe is a beautiful divorced woman.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I love her sticking up for Rob and not letting you call him “little vampire.” Good for her.

      Speaking of sons, my 6 yo son admonished my husband for trying to use my latest VF issue (with Rob) as a coaster. DH at least turned it over so as not to put his coffee cup on Rob, but my kid told him to use a coaster, not my “Rob magazine”!

      • JustGoWithIt says:

        My 5 YO tries to use Twilight, which he calls “Highlight” as leverage to get things he might want. He’ll say “Mom, I’ll get you Highlight 14, if you get me _____”. If only there was going to be a Twilight 14. No scratch that, they would all be well into their 30s by then, and it would be like Luke Perry and Gabrielle Cartaris playing 16 year olds when the first 90210 came out.

      • Vera says:

        He is facing bravely the growing up process, of course. Now he knows that mom can love more than a man at the same time. What a sweetness!

    • Vera says:

      It often happens, I come over here and find my mistakes, but today I am specially out of balance.

      Mom said: I wish he would be my son.

  19. Kelli says:

    Dear Robert,

    I am with the above 39 year old, I am fun and love to laugh! I have braces now and it makes me feel even younger…I think that we would have some good laughs over a beer, well you could have the beer and I will have a wine cooler or a kamakazi, anyway I would LOVE to sit and chat with you….your most enduring attribute is your goofy sense of humor and giggle..yes Robert you giggle and I love that you do it most when u’r nervous. Anyway the invite is an open on…

    Love: Kelli

  20. JustGoWithIt says:

    My mother, who is also a grandmother, is perhaps more Robsessed than me. Her declaration for her Rob love was cute. She asked me “So, tell me, why do you like Twilight so much?” I explained, love story, Edward and Bella, a little bit of magic that Stephanie put in the book while she was writing. So I ask her, and all she can say about it is that her reason is “inappropriate”. Hum. I know she does not Taysess ( ha ha ), so that’s that. Although why she would be embarrassed to say in front of ME, I don’t know.

  21. RobsFan-tasy says:

    *giggles* i love hearing about everyones mom’s and grandmas and their Rob related stories.

  22. JellyBeanRainbow says:

    “I think I’m still gonna go with “anyone who thinks Rob wants to have a conversation with anyone other than people who are already friends, friends of friends or have been screened & approved by his “team” is delusional.” But I agree. The closer I get to 30 the more “mature” I feel. And also more depressed. Damn you late 20s.”

    Don’t worry, UC, the minute you’ll turn 31 you’ll change your mind and start to have fun – again. Going out all nights and partying with really young and really cute guys and traveling the world to see Rob in person and general robsessing isn’t reserved just for teens and 20somethings.
    How do I know this? A friend told me, you know.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      My late 20’s were tough. Then I turned 30 and it was awesome – I was like “THIS” is what I was worried about? Lame! Same thing is true for almost turning 40. I’m sure once I get there, it will seem like such a stupid thing to have issues with.

      And I have a very good friend in her mid 50’s and she’s probably the happiest horniest (for Rob) “youngest” person I know. She is pure inspiration.

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        p.s. I’m sort of thinking Rob is the fountain of youth. Everyone I know who has a thing for Rob (and certainly everyone here) is so youthful/playful. Forget all the stupid creams and getting enough sleep (who can do that anyhow?)! Just drink deep from Rob (ssshh don’t tell the cosmetics & self-help-book industry this!).

  23. Maggie says:

    So, here goes…..

    I just turned 60. I can’t believe I actually said that, but what better place is there to bare all than here at LTR?

    Reading these posts has validated my thoughts/feelings about Rob and his glorious fans like nothing ever has. Those of you who are young will one day find out that when you are chronologically old, your are actually still the same person you were at 19 inside – just with more life experience under your belt. As for being Robsessed, well, in reality, even an adoring fan his age has barely a snowball’s chance in hell of being with him, so does it really matter how old you are? If your married or not? If you’re a Grandma? A healthy, vibrant, woman of any age can appreciate beauty and sex appeal in a man. Rob is the most beautiful, sexy man I can ever recall seeing in my life. And his personality, humor, wit, adorkableness, etc. are all so enchanting it just makes one melt. At first I had problems with the way he made me feel, but it made me so happy that eventually I accepted it as OK and embraced it!

    So go, teenagers. Go young (and not so young) moms. Go middle-aged women and wives. Go grannies. See the beauty. Adore the man. Feel the sex appeal. He just makes life so damn good.

    Oh, and P.S. – I’ve never been to Kohl’s.

    • Vera says:

      Maggie

      You’ve just made Robsses even further worth enjoying. (Ufa, I bet this make no sense)

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Maggie – kohl’s is one of those stores where you go in looking for a halloween-themed table runner and come out with Ugg-rip-off boots, a swimsuit you’ll never wear (it was $7 and black, so of course you’ll buy it), new pillows, a camping lantern, fake gold earrings, sun hats, and onesies for every baby you know. Sort of like Target, but heavier on the clothes-side and without the smell of popcorn in the air. In any event, we should take Rob there. The Kohl’s I go to has a Trader Joes next door. I bet Rob would love TJs too – hey Rob, there is even a Chicken Tikka sauce at TJs, as well as prepackaged Cobb salads – what is not to love? A Kohl’s-TJ shopping expedition with Rob is for sure in order. And people would assume he’s not ROb, because what would Rob be doing with a 60 year old Kohl’s virgin and a 40 year old tired-looking mom with too many gray hairs? We’d be perfect cover for him.

      Loved your posting!

    • Lurker says:

      Well said. He is handsome in the very classic way. Beautiful man and soul.

    • The Old One says:

      So well said!

    • Nelle says:

      Maggie, I love you. That’s all.

    • Brenn says:

      Maggie, you’re my hero.

      Great post.

      And as a sidenote, you’re not missing anything at Kohls. I usually walk out quite disappointed.

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Mags- Just wanted to tell you how proud I am that you said your age!!! I know how big of a step that is for you! And you are so right, even a girl his own age has a slim chance at a date! (thanks for dashing those dreams, although I am also nowhere near his age!)

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Um, RFM? You are to be his future mate, remember? Don’t give up the dream. I need to you to marry him so I can get a proper intro to Andrew. You don’t want to dash my hopes of ever having a sordid weekend fling with Andrew, now do you???

        • robsfuturemate says:

          Oops! Sorry Nat, I slipped there for a second!! Yes, Andrew can be your plus one at my wedding! Don’t tell your DH, and don’t get papped at the wedding. Unless he already knows that Andrew is on your “list”, then you’re good. 😉

          • natteringyeahrobber says:

            DH has agreed to Rob being my freebie, but if you married Rob, Rob would be clearly off limits…Andrew is my alternate freebie (DH doesn’t know yet – it’s sort of on a needs to know basis and so far there has sadly been no need for DH to know).

          • robsfuturemate says:

            Thank you for taking him off your list after the wedding but could you keep him off your list whilst we are dating and engaged as well? Thanks doll 🙂

      • Maggie says:

        rfm: Thanks! I actually felt like I was standing up at an AA meeting giving a confessional when I wrote my post! I guess LTR is like an “RA” meeting of sorts today. And I had to laugh because I actually was thinking of you and of how you weren’t going to be happy about my snowball’s chance in hell analogy. But maybe you’re that snowball? Who knows?

        • Maggie says:

          Oh, and thanks to everyone else for the love!

        • robsfuturemate says:

          haha! I love that you and Nat have the confidence that I could be that ‘snowball’. But srsly, I’m not THAT delusional despite what may have been written here! (Rob, don’t worry, call me!)

  24. Lurker says:

    My mom and aunt (in their 50s) are obsessed with Edward, but call Rob a “milksop.”

    • Lurker says:

      AND they call them that in German (which is “Milchbubi”). It’s made me look at Rob with different eyes, I have to say.

      • Lurker says:

        *him*. Clearly, picturing Rob as namby-pamby is getting to me. Coz ma man is FIERCE. Right? Right?

      • melronin says:

        Milchbubi ist ein total suesses wort und passt zu Rob… it means smt like “milkbaby” which is used to describe a very young guy…but it’s not offensive at all…it’s sweet!

        Wir lieben unseren Milchbubi…we really love him the way he is…

        and please come back to LTR 🙂
        nice to meet you

        • Lurker says:

          thanks for clearing that up. I wasn’t sure what it meant. So it’s a sweet word, eh. Those two can’t fool me no more! (I’m suspecting they have a creepy Rob fan club of their own and only hide behind the George Clooney for Edward facade.)

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Well, Rob’s milksop definitely brings all the intelligent, witty, creative HOT ASS women to the yard. Damn right better than yours.

      • Lurker says:

        Are you offended? I thought I made it clear that I don’t call him that, but my mother and aunt do, in a rather charming German way. You know, since this discussion is about grandmas and Rob.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          LOL – no, not offended, I don’t even really know what milksop is. But whatever it is, Rob’s milksop (it’s like a milkshake, right?) does bring the women to the yard. And having convos with yourself is totally normal.

          My coworkers probably think I’m insane because I giggle at LTR from time to time, only when they walk by my desk I’m careful to switch my open window from LTR to some dumb legal news website. That latest antitrust decision about battery acid price fixing was HILARIOUS (or so they think that’s what I’m laughing about).

          • Lurker says:

            haha, okay, well, I don’t know what it is, either. I google translated “Milchbubi”. But the phrase “Rob’s milksop” definitely makes it sound like, whatever it is, it might reveal the mystery of the funky nipple in New Moon.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          also – stay here – don’t go – you need to teach me more wacky german phrases about rob! i promise to stop quoting the milkshake song (ok, last one – my fierce rob brings all the women to the yard – damn right, he’s fiercer than yours!)

    • Maggie says:

      I checked in with Cleverbot:

      Me: What is a milchbubi?
      CB: A milkshake.
      Me. What is a milksop?
      CB: You should know. You drank one.
      Me: Listen to me! What is the definition of the German word milchbubi?
      CB: Don’t get existential on me.
      Me: Is Robert Pattinson a milchbubi?
      CB: No.
      Me: Is he a milksop?
      CB: No.
      Me: What is he?
      CB? A handsome vampire.

      • Lurker says:

        lol lol, that’s right he is!

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        CB to the rescue once again.

        I looked up the origination of the word milksop and turns out it is a British term – it is a piece of bread soaked in warm milk (learn something new every day on LTR!!). Yummm. Rob soaking in a tub of warm milk. Leibovitz, there’s your idea for your next Rob VF cover. Rob in a big clawfoot tub, milk up to his chest, one foot draped over the edge, one hand touching his neck, the other hand summoning the viewer to come into the tub with him. Rob’s milksop photoshoot. It. Would. Sell. Out.

    • robsfuturemate says:

      Yay, Lurker’s back!!!!

  25. Maggie says:

    Lurker: Stay! Don’t leave! This is a great blog – probably the best group of bloggers anywhere. And yes, our man is FIERCE! My sister (age 53) thinks he looks like a cartoon. My daughter (age 27) thinks he’s skinny and has “weird eyebrows”. I tell them both that they need to get a grip and to also get glasses.

    nat: I actually poked my head into Kohl’s once. (hmmm. am I still a Kohl’s virgin is I’ve poked?) I had that “you’re going to buy many not-needed items” vibe, so I went next door to Target (to buy my many not-needed items). I think you and Rob should come with me to my Kohl’s for my “official” Kohl’s deflowering because there’s also a 99cent store and something called “Super Saver” in the same shopping complex and I think both of those sound like they would be right up Mr. “I’m Just an Economical Millionaire’s” alley. Speaking of which, I think there IS an alley behind the 99cent store. Before you guys get here, I’ll check it out for dumpsters.

    • roslynselene says:

      Speaking of alleys and dumpsters, it reminded my of what Eric Packer said to his wife in Cosmopolis:
      “We don’t need a hotel. We’ll do it in the ladies’ room. We’ll go to the alley out back and rattle the garbage cans.”
      And that reminded me of LTR. Haha!

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Well, poking your head in Kohl’s is not a proper deflowering. That’s first base. You need to go all the way with Kohl’s one day. All the way = trying a bathing suit on under the totally harsh lights, and buying it anyhow because it is $7 and black and does not show off most of your stretch marks (just some of them). Alternatively, you need to try on some cheap espadrilles and buy them. They are supposed to be in this summer, though they just look weird on my feet.

      I’m guessing the 99 cent store might have some Wu-Tang shirts, though they probably say “Who Tang” (hence the 99 cents price tag). Sounds Seussian. Who Tang, Rob Tang, I Tang, You Tang, Diddle diddle dop Tang, Mr. Fizzy Flop Tang. Oh christ, it’s too hot out I am clearly dehydrated. Move along.

      • robsfuturemate says:

        Mr. Rob can Wu how about you?

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          oh the wonderful things Mr. Rob can do

          so many wonderful things that are singy and ringy
          like hopping on top
          and having a flingy
          and oh what he does with his finger hot fingys
          i like how he just lingering lingys
          so intense it makes my ears ring-a-ling ringy

          oh the wonderful things he can do
          oh wait, not “he”, rob, oops i mean YOU.

          • natteringyeahrobber says:

            Darn it, second line should be “singy and zingy” – didn’t mean to use ringy twice. I really must learn to self-edit.

  26. TwiSherry says:

    I’ve been soooo busy lately, I’ve forgotten how much I love this place.

    I recently turned 40 .. urg .. not liking that at all but hey I’m definitely young at heart (ask anyone who knows me). My mom just turned 58 and we are both equally a Robsessed TwiHard. My mom leans a little further on the Edward/Robsession and I’m definitely on the ANYTHING and EVERYTHING ROB session. But, she buys the mags, she dvr’d the last two MTV movie awards (I’m not sure she’s EVER watched MTV) and she actually kept the awards on her dvr for a long time & rewatched and rewatched. So, while she claims to only be in love with Edward, clearly her love lines are blurring.

    So, I agree I don’t think it matters what age you are .. if you have eyes and ears you can see what a HOT man Rob is, and just listening to one interview with him, and his adorkableness, humor, and wit wins you over.

    As far as having the thought that you’d ever be able to actually meet him & have “dinner”…..well….I’m sure there are many unfulfilled dreams…but that never stopped anyone from having them. Does it really hurt anyone? As long as you’re not hiding in his bushes & attacking him to get what you want, I’m all for having dreams….besides we all know he only have eyes for me…….did I say that out loud??? Hehehehehe!

    Loved the post UC!

  27. Kelli says:

    My coworkermy co worker who is 63 just said I can’t say if given the opportunity to sleep with Rob she wouldn’t say no….

  28. Elva says:

    My grandmother thinks Rob is a handsome young man. She did say she didn’t approve of him being a vampire! She’s 84. Here is a picture of her with the life size window clings of Edward and Jacob from New Moon. I got them from Burger King and hung them in my diningroom!
    IMG_0192.JPG

  29. Pattygirl says:

    Oh UC, your grandma needs new glasses or has bad taste.

  30. maggie says:

    New WFE still. Oh how I wish I were a glove upon that hand……

    23 days to go!

    http://thinkingofrob.com/2011/03/30/new-wfe-stiils/water-for-elephants-4/

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      That sort of reminds me of the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark (I loved loved loved that movie when I was a kid – think I watched it at least 90 times).

      Indy: “Ouch!”
      Marion: “Well god-damnit Indy, Where doesn’t it hurt?”
      Indy: “Here! (she kisses him there)”
      Indy: “And here. (she kisses him there)”
      Indy: “And here. (she kisses him there)”
      etc….

  31. kstwilighter says:

    “COUGAGE” I have just found a new word to throw around! Love it! And yes-Kristen does need prayers for her courage and her cougage (she’ll be there one day!)

    • The Old One says:

      Assignment: use “cougage” in a sentence:

      Who knew there were so many older Rob fans reading this blog: the cougage factor is off the charts!

  32. Alex says:

    ME (Alex): ” How can you describe love? If you love someone then you think that this person is the best in the world, don’t you? But if he doesn’t think that way about himself?? I think, the whole point to make him believe that he’s perfect, the most beautiful”

    So who says that WE dont love him. Ha?

    PS: Ok I just stole this from Rob. But my point is dont we love Rob the way he driscribe love.Dont we think that he is the perfect and the most beautiful?

    • robsfuturemate says:

      So the question becomes: How do we make him believe that?

      Start with making him understand we love him not EDWARD!!!! Why does the boy still not get this?!

      • Alex says:

        Lets go to his premiers wearing TEAM Edward T shirt, Lets scream at him “Edward bite me”
        Lets ask only BD related questions when he tries to promote his other films…urrrrrr

        I dont know.

        I have a feeling that He knows that there are fans who love him…..But he is not convinced yet b/c of Majority loves Edward and Twilight more(I think)

        Even when people ask why do they like Rob…fans says “He is so sexy…dreamy” or something lame. May be after 2012….if fans go to see his other films after 2012?

      • fdrinconnue says:

        What about a buzz in internet about that, we love rob not specially edward, through all the blogs for his birthday ?

  33. Rob's Flaming Dashboard says:

    Dear Rob, Rob’s agents & producers, etc,

    Regarding the rumored desexifying of Bel Ami:

    This is important. I am, like many of Rob’s fans, a mature lady possessed of cougage and plenty of money (unlike teens who must depend on allowances and babysitting money). Believe it that Rob in a role requiring the “Full Monty” will have us on our knees, opening our wallets and praying -or at least saying Hallelujah!, to misquote HHH.

    Try it and see.
    Love,
    Rob’s Flaming Dashboard

  34. Stella says:

    i am so behind in ltr and ltt that i am sure no one will even read this comment, but just in case…uc, you are brilliant! thank you for the laughs once again! i actually snorted when i read the cougage line and it just got better and better….

    I live in California, but I would like to meet Mrs. Undecidedchoice, shake her hand, and invite her out to dinner or drinks. I’m a 40-year-old mom, not a crazed teenager. I’d simply like to get to know a little about her on a one-on-one basis. What would be the best way to attempt this?

    i’m gonna submit this to answer bitch and see what she has to say!

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