My idea of Rob

For all you haters out there, I’m going to say what you’re planning on saying so you don’t have to: IS THIS A ROB FAN SITE OR A NON-FAN SITE? HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU LIKE ROB & THEN CRITICIZE HIM LIKE THAT? YOU ARE SUCH A BAD EXCUSE FOR A FAN. GO EAT A BIG BOWL OF ICE CREAM YOU FAT, STUPID ROB-HATING LOSER. There! Now you don’t have to say those things and can just enjoy the letter!!!

The Rob in my mind always wears the Uncle Jesse Jacket

Dear Rob,

It became clear to me from the MTV awards the other night that I’m not sure I like the right Rob. Let me back up- I’m not sure the Rob I like is the 100% true, real Rob. See when you started on your rant/conversation/speech/drunk talk about Reese, Mr. Choice walked in the door. And the entire time you were speaking he looked at me with a look that said, “REALLY? You like HIM, UC?” It made me want to throw a pillow at him & say “NO! That’s NOT the Rob I like!” And as I thought about it, it hit me. That swearing, rambling, bad-spoken, 2nd-hand embarrassing version of you is NOT who I like. I think I like the Rob in my mind.

Sure my mind’s version of Rob is based on you. He’s a lot like you, but I’m coming to realize he might not be completely the real you. He’s got your face & singing voice and some of the same adorkable qualities, but when he speaks it’s not embarrassing for anyone- it’s not perfect. It’s not necessarily gonna win you any awards, but you’re humble & shy in a cute adorable way.

As I thought about this I realized I cannot be the only one who thinks this way. Right? And it turns out, I’m not. Other people have built you up in their minds as well.

Adrienne's Rob

Adrienne said:

My Rob is kind of Edward, kind of WFE Jacob (a great husband eventually), a great humanitarian like Sean Penn, Ben Afleck, Matt Damon and Brad Pitt. He’s a great writer/musician/comedian like Steve Martin, super suave like Don Draper. Rob of my mind is NOT a frat boy that does excessive drinking and drugs. OH plus he NEVER says anything stupid. Ever. PLUS he’s actually capable of of using those bedroom eyes instead of just staring out of them. I’m afraid he may be lacking in the bedroom skills. Sorry. Not like Ryan Gosling. You KNOW that guy’s a pro.

Is it weird to say that I have no idea how the Rob in my mind is in the bedroom? I want to say I imagine him (you?) as pretty darn amazing, but I can’t say that that’s what I think. Am I confessing I imagine BAD SEX with you? Um, that’s weird.

Bri added:

The Rob in my mind doesn’t come across completely awkward like he did at the MMA on Sunday. Yes, there’s a side of awkward/dorkiness like the one that surfaces in his interviews but it’s quite endearing. The only other thing that makes Rob more perfect in my head is that he doesn’t smoke.
The Rob who smokes doesn’t bother me- of course smoking in my mind just means your clothes smell and not all the cancer stuff.

The smell of perfection

Speaking of “smelling,” Katie says:

My Rob does *not* smell like cigarettes, pepperoni Hot Pockets, Heineken, and KStew. Picture this (Thank you, Sophia.)- You’re baking cupcakes in your little cottage at the base of a mountain. It’s summer and there’s a cool breeze blowing in the smell of fresh rain and pine needles. My Rob smells like that. Oh, and he walks in the door that little cottage after chopping wood for our fire. There’s a bear skin rug. Just saying. My Rob is AngryRob to everyone else, but sweet and gentle with me. Except for when we act out “The Office” (The fanfic, not the show. OK, sometimes the show. He totally plays Jim.). My Rob acts Oscars red carpet confident and looks Rome “just f*cked”.(ifyouknowwhatI’msayin’ AndIthinkyoudo.)

Cyrstal adds:

MY Rob is alot like Edward- I guess he always knows what to say or do. He is a one woman guy and never forgets to call her. (me) I think he is very comfortable in small setting with people he knows. Almost too much, I imagine he is the kind that tells crude jokes.  And My Rob could totally fall in love with a silly fan girl (who is actually a grown woman with a kid)

Oh yeah- My Rob totally falls for a “nobody” (or a “girl who once ran a blog about him!)

And lastly, Liz shares that:

“My” Rob is very similar to Tyler in “Remember Me”. I guess its because he’s still young in real life and would be immature like boys his age tend to be. But there’s also that soulful side to him where you could just picture sitting with him for hours in a coffee house discussing everything intellectual under the sun or winning you that teddy bear at the carnival. But he’d also be the kind of guy you’d see in a bar on open mic nights, hanging out with his friends, drinking, smoking, laughing. My Rob is the kind of guy who would make a great/terrible boyfriend. He would be very romantic one minute and very self-involved the next. I couldn’t imagine living with him and taking care of his laundry… ugh! All that smoke…! He’s got to smell! But at least we could always get a Hot Pocket sponsorship or something… Maybe written into his next movie contract?? Then he’d never go hungry and I’d never have to cook!

“They” say that you should never meet a celebrity you love or someone who is a hero to you because you’re bound to be disappointed. After coming to the realization that I may have built you up in my mind & hearing what others imagine you as, I have to say that DEFINITELY applies in this case. The “real” Rob can’t possibly be as great as the Rob we’ve all imagined, can he?

Grabbing a spoon for my ice cream,
UnintendedChoice

So? What do you think? Do you have some unrealistic ideas of Rob in your mind? Share in the comments!

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172 Responses to “My idea of Rob”

  1. Cam says:

    Coming out of a long hiatus for this discussion….

    After watching the movie awards, I’m with ya, UC. I think I like the Rob in my mind a whole lot better than real Rob. Real Rob is awkward and can’t speak a whole sentence without squirming.

    Although, the middle part of his speech to Reese there seemed to be hints of an interesting personality — why can’t he just communicate — just spit out whatever you want to say.

    You’re famous & you’re hot — get over your awkward shyness and own it.

    • pukesten says:

      i think there is someting endearing about him still being slightly inappropriate at events like this, he hasn’t been assimilated into PR land and lost his originality
      i mean taylor came across as mature, rehearsed, smooth, professional but he has zero personality

      • guitargirl says:

        The goofier the better IMHO! I’m a Brit, and being goofy doesnt mean you’re an incoherent idiot, nor is it something to be ashamed of. We just like to laugh at ourselves. Goofy Rob for the win!

        • pukesten says:

          i don’t even consider how he was at the mtv awards as goofy!! i think he was just taking the piss out of reese and god love him he used extreme measures to save us a third year of will they wont they best kiss acceptance but I think he enjoyed the mtv awards far more then say then presenting at the oscars. (but as i have to remind my self from time to time I don’t actually nor will ever know the first thing about him!)

          • guitargirl says:

            I prefer the MTV awards too! Watching Rob enjoy himself is the best medicine ever! 🙂

      • KeepOnKeepingOn says:

        I agree, Pukesten. He was awesome at the awards. I think the only thing he could do to make me not like him is become one of those big-headed, i’m too good to actually have fun, hollywood pricks. And, from everything I’ve seen of him such as the mtv awards, interviews, interaction with fans, and even the way he responds to those asshat paps (that video of him driving his car to get away from them and then him asking them to leave him alone = pure sweet, beautiful man) shows the real Rob, imo. And, really and truly, Twilight is where I discovered him (plus think he’s totally beautiful), but after seeing the movie, and then subsequently looking him up on the internet and seeing him in real life is where I learned I LOVE him. The real him. Rob.

    • Krystle says:

      LOL – do you think Kristen’s awkwardness is rubbing off on him?

    • Janetrigs says:

      Thumbs down for expressing your opinion. No expression here this is a UC-tatership.

  2. My Rob is not the Hollywood ridiculous star that he is, escorted by a thousand embarassing bodyguards, full of complot theories like the fangirls are terrorists. I was totally off the bandwagon, when I saw the stardom in Paris, I was laughing at myself, but then he went on that stage at MTV and he was totally OH MY ROB . Except if he could get off the stage and hang out more in a pub.

    Basically my Rob is more like the pre-Twi London Rob (aka non existent Rob). A bit more read though. I don’t worry about the house stuff (all guys become organising fairies around me, yes, I’m that bad (or pittifull I don’t know), and anyhow, there’s Nick to handle the bank & papers.) Now if we could just find a time machine and the address of that Britpack London den. Or maybe just find Johnny Flynn, that’s better.

    • robgirl86 says:

      your Rob is mine Rob..js

    • Jules says:

      mine too, RG.
      Min, I miss the BIJ days.

    • guitargirl says:

      You took the words right out of my mouth. I feel that the real (pre Twi) Rob is disappearing faster than several beers on the one day of British summer. At the awards he sounded more like Pierce Brosnan crossed with Christopher Walken. WTF! Gone is the guy who used to say ‘you can ask me what you like’ in interviews, and has been replaced by Mr ‘No private questions allowed.’ We are no longer allowed to see real Rob in interviews. We are given the diluted version. I get why, but I still hanker for the guy I wanted to have a beer with at the local pub, play guitar, and who hasn’t forgotten that he’s British. Give me a shout if you find that time machine.

    • The Old One says:

      I’m with you, minuit. My Rob is sitting on a barstool, drinking a Heine, listening to his mates up on stage. He smiles and kicks out the barstool next to him for me to sit down and join him. He tells me a really bad joke and forgets the punchline. We both laugh in a knowing way, and then we talk about whether Jean-Luc Godard has any relevancy in the modern film world. Sigh.

    • che says:

      i luv your Rob..can i take him?
      my Rob is mixed details Rob & MMA, ellen or every single twi press junket Rob.
      in my imaginary he’s someone that u never get bored to talk,spend time together(in every meaning.. shhht)
      he’s smart,funny and can surprise u (in every meaning again)

    • minuit_passe says:

      what you all said!
      & TOO I’d read that very cool alternative to fanfic.I LOVE IT! xx

  3. pukesten says:

    dear rob I’m starting to feel abnormal I loved you at the movie awards. I didn’t find you awkward, I wasnt second hand embarrassed. I thought you were funny and I imagine that’s what your most like in real life.
    pukesten

    I think the real Rob I imagine is closest to Liz’s description.

    might I also suggest something controversial that the US found rob cringing cos humour over this side if the Atlantic. anyone from UK/ Europe agree
    like look at the Graham norton show, although Reese is brilliant there were parts where she looked like “I don’t get it”

    • drsaka says:

      I love the Graham Norton show. Off-color is fine and funny.

    • *inserts fangirl voice* Yes yes yes, he was brilliant! And yes, I also thought it was a glimpse of the real Rob.

      And yes, it seems to be different on the other side of the pond. The only mystery is UC, Moon & Draska who have a wicked humour and the only explanation I find is that UC was busy w/ The Gos, Moon was into a new choreography of “Baby, baby, babyyy nooo” and Draska was watching TV from different angles spying any BIMTV hint.
      xx

      • Eyre_head says:

        I agree with you. Loved his acceptance speech for Best Male Performance and Best Kiss. Best Kiss especially – I’ve been telepathically communicating with Rob to pull that stunt. Now I know we’re truly connected. (That’s normal, right?) Next year I expect him to run past Kristen and off stage to a waiting Rosie. She’ll wrap him in her trunk and pop him in her mouth. (Could that be the Chilean kiss?)
        I wasn’t thrilled with his intro. to Reese’s award, but I also think he was set up by Mtv. Patrick and Chelsea had lines on the teleprompter, but they told Rob to “adlib”. Please, they knew he would have a few to steady his nerves. They knew he would be shaken from having accepted an award. They knew he was going to pull the mom/lover line. It’s been used in almost every interview. It was the story of the three bears. Patrick was the sweet one. Chelsea was the crude one. Rob had to be “just right” – sweet but crude. This set up was the only way Mtv could get their “shock” rating. I think the original plan involved Snookie and the Situation slobbering on the cast of16 & Pregnant while the cast of The Real World drunkenly scrogged across the stage behind Jason Sudeikis as he pushed a carriage full of Teen Mom babies (one baby of course turning into a wolf to promote Teen Wolf) while telling redundant Arnold Swarzenegger jokes.

        Sometimes I put Rob on a pedestal and let the golden light of “you can do no wrong” shine down those oh-so-fine features. Sometimes I let him skulk in the shadows of his human-ness. (Though I refuse to acknowledge the possibility that he is like most males and leaves “skid-marks” in his underpants. He burns any such item in the bathroom sink to spare the gentle sensibilities of his laundress / mom.)

        It’s perfectly normal to love and criticize. It’s real love, and not blind adoration, when one can see the imperfections. As Tyra says, “It’s all about the ugly-pretty.”

    • che says:

      don’t feel abnormal at least %50 of us liked it.i’m in!!!..well thanks to TayTay kiss 😀

  4. Nelle says:

    My Rob is just a little more coherent than the MTV Awards Rob. He’s the quick-witted Rob we see a little glimpse of now and then with that touch of adorkableness still there. My Rob is the poised, take control, caring Rob that oh so subtly (but the fangirls didn’t miss it) pressed his leg against KStew’s to calm down her jitters on the Jimmy Kimmel show during the Eclipse press junket. I think that’s my favorite Rob of all time because it’s so Edward!

    • Michelle says:

      I swooned so freaking hard when he did that. Seriously? What a guy.

      • pukesten says:

        i have to admit that was one of the sweetest things i’ve ever seen and it melted my little heart
        (i keep my inner robstener hidden in a cellar with no windows and i feed her once a year, that jimmy kimmel thing was it for 2010.)

        • robsfuturemate says:

          LMAO!!! I thought I was the only one who did that! Every now and then a speck of love for Robsten comes out and even sometimes, wait for it…Kristen!

          • robsfuturemate says:

            Actually no. I don’t thnk I’ve ever felt love for the Robsten. But yes there are times (very few but they’re there) I feel the love for Kristen.

          • maggie says:

            For me, that would be a no…..and a no……

          • pukesten says:

            i think it’s more that every once in a while I’ll see how sweet he acts towards he, and depsite it being SWSNBN, i think aww he’s actually so caring and affectionate, i forget i’m a die hard nonsten for a few minutes.

      • pukesten says:

        can’t believe i’m posting this….
        skip forward to 04.00
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4YyqcOjAoY
        i think this is real rob (even if it is SWSNBN)

    • che says:

      c’mon gals even if u don’t like Kstew..try to ignore her and just see how cute he is.u may not like her but this really fits my imaginary romantic Rob.i’m not a fan of Kstew but i guess i like ‘loverRob’.
      and the funny thing other day my sister who whatched the saga but isn’t in Robward ship said they look so good together.she has no clue about their relationship nor robsten-nonsten thing so when i told her what a romantic lover Rob is and his obscure luv for Kstew.(don’t hate me for writing this 😛 )she was surprised and said he doesn’t look like someone who can fall in luv…and i was likle WTF?..he is an incorrigible romantic, ok? LOL

  5. Michelle says:

    My Rob is closest to Katie’s…oh but who am I fooling…

    My Rob is really just Robward…but Robward dressed like GQ Rob not Tweed-Old Man-New Moon Edward. Basically he’s Edward…but not freezing cold or a vampire. Just basically perfect. Definitely not a smoker, but if he is…it’s magic cigarettes you never actually smell on him. No yellow teeth or smoke breath/hair/clothes.

    Awkard, proposing Edward in Eclipse or “I just wanna try one thing” Edward in Twilight? I’m done. Swoon-city-batman.

    I’m so sad to be in love with a fictional character. My poor husband will never measure up. 😉

  6. adrienne says:

    hahaaa I had to laugh at the “Adrienne’s Rob” pic – yep, that’s him! Even in the Members Only jacket!

  7. Kaybvee says:

    I’m so with Michelle on the swoon city batman-ward! Both of those parts KILL me.

    And just when I think he can’t be all that, he must reek of cigs, be a jerk in real life, he’s one of those actors that looks great on camera but *not* in real life (I’m looking at you Cameron Diaz!)…

    A few people I know meet him, like normal girls, not blinded Twi crazies and describe how “he smells awesome, he looks better in person, oh he’s such a sweetheart” ARGH-you’re not helping me PEOPLE!!!!

  8. Mary says:

    You know I hate people who like someone only when they are what you perceive them to be. So what if he messed the punchline of a joke up. I personally thought it was hilarious! That is the way Rob is sorta out there and funny in his own way. I like Rob for the person he is even the bad included. Which I thought he was just having a good time and very nervous that happens when you speak in front of millions of people give him a break! If people are true Rob fans they like him no matter what!

  9. fdrinconnue says:

    I don’t understand your reactions, girls.
    I thought this place was full of crazy funny smart girls, and now you look like desperate housewives. What is the point of always imagining Rob as a husband ? A husband is a bound man, let’us imagine better. Don’t you remind he said I’m almost asexual and I can love ten people together, not just one ?
    Rob is smart, Rob is free and he lets us know it !
    Perhaps finally he’s right when he says fans love Edward and not him
    Rob is different because he likes art and freedom more than nice behaviour, and so does Kristen. He seems wild because he’s free. He doesn’t want to become a pet of the showbizz. So he makes awful wild jokes, just to awake us. Just for fun.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      I don’t think I’ve ever pictured Rob as my husband.

      No, no- he’s usually under my desk or has secured a hotel room near my work (Rob – Hyatt Regency is next door to me, lit’rally – not 5 star, but very convenient – just leave your hotel key with the receptionist here.) Sometimes he’s at my dinner table flirting with me as DH rolls his eyes and passive agressively dumps wine on his lap. I have lots of fantasies about feeding Rob curry.

      • ladyofthemeadow says:

        Yeah he doesn’t have to be bound like a husband (although “bound” sounds kind of 50-ish, doesn’t it?!) And I too have never imagined him as my husband. More like a fun boyfriend when I was 25 years old.

        He could be a really cool colleague on a national work-related committee, who can’t stop mildly flirting with you around a meeting table. That’s my version.

        Nat, *under* the table or desk sounds pretty dang good too.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          Ooohhh…bound, with Rob under the desk or conference room table. That works.

          Or Rob at a work conference. He’d be that vendor giving away free pens or mustard duffel bags. But he’d make you work for it. Maybe he’d put the pen behind his ear or in his back pocket.

          • ladyofthemeadow says:

            At an out of town conference with Rob… he’d invite you to dinner to seal the contract… ahhh. Sounds a bit like fanfic but I’ll take it.

      • pukesten says:

        i fantasize feeding him something else

        no!!! not that, god, get your minds out of the gutter.

      • guitargirl says:

        Hear hear! I actually just want Rob to be my friend with benefits! I can have hot sweaty sex back at my place with him after a few beers and brandy, watching live music in some dive of a pub somewhere. We can have a bacon butty and a cuppa in the morning and cry laughing at Tom Stu winning Hobo of the month award, and organise which open mic night we’re going to next. I wouldnt have to pick his socks up, or wash his clothes, cook his dinner, or fight for the remote control. Friends with benefits sounds perfect to me. As a husband? Hell no. LOL!

    • Jules says:

      Oh my god — Not the husband.
      You could have made your point with a little more tact. And what does Kristen have to do with this discussion?

    • Michelle says:

      My point is that he is my FANTASY man. I’m married w/ kids ya’ll! I don’t NEED a ‘real’ man who’s a dork. I HAVE one at home (love you honey…lol). I enjoy Rob for the fantasy he brings. Plain and simple.

      When he acts like the Stew he kills my fantasy.

      The “fans” that act like his crap don’t stink kill me!! His goofyness was just plain “off” that night. Sue me…but it did nothing for me. 😉

      • Jules says:

        Girl, stop that noise.
        Rob is human, his crap stinks like everyone else’s. I don’t see anyone here saying it doesn’t.
        I happened to enjoy his MTV foolishness. The show was dull, otherwise.

      • robgirl86 says:

        He never “acts” like the Stew, cause she can’t act at all !
        Not on screen, not in “RL” aka Award shows or whatever I see of her..

        • Michelle says:

          Really? Maybe it’s just me…I swear they act more and more alike each time I see them interviewed, etc. I see less of him (the old him) and more of her mannerisms, etc.

          It’s the freaking kool-aid she’s giving him. 😉

    • roslynselene says:

      Ha! What the what? He said he can love 10 people at once? That’s not asexuality, that’s polygamy. Didn’t we have this discussion before? We could all be sister wives! 😀

  10. Katie S says:

    “Don’t you remind he said I’m almost asexual and I can love ten people together, not just one ?”

    Could anyone explain that to me? Is it a sentence or just a row of words that resemble a sentence?

    I’m going to go eat my big bowl of ice cream now.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Polyamorous and asexual at the same time. Sounds quite difficult, but if anyone can do it, Rob can.

  11. Twicracked says:

    My Rob is apparently nothing like the real Rob. He has certainly had his moments where I was like “Oh-ma-Gawd, Thud!” My Rob is like the scene in Twilight when Edward takes Bella to the top of the trees and a beautiful view. She says, “Things like this just don’t exist” and Edward replies, “They do in my world” And my world is highly demented as it is. So I’ll just plug my ears and keep my eyes open.

  12. natteringyeahrobber says:

    Rob in my mind is Talk Show Rob. He seems best on talk shows – relaxed, funny, word vomity, charming, story-telling, approachable. Sofa/chair/seated position + good questions = Rob at his finest. Something about standing up…when he stands up, he tends to get more awkward. I cannot find any other way to explain it. Talk show Rob is always so relaxed and goofy. Award Show Rob is always so nervous and awkward (which sometimes translates to funny, like the MMAs, sometimes not – PCAs were a glaring example).

    The cigarette smell would probably bug me, but not enough for me to stop running his hands through his hair.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      oops that should be me running my hands through his hair. though i guess watching him run his own hands through his hair is pretty damn hot too.

    • hepburn says:

      This, basically. I never fell for Edward. It was never about Edward, I only really ‘got him’ in his sit down interviews. In print, he doesn’t come across the same.

    • I’m cool w/ the smokes because I picture the cig hanging off his lip as he says something crass, smacks my ass, and calls me “Sweet Tits.”
      Wait, was that out loud?

  13. ladyofthemeadow says:

    Okay, I have to come out of the closet I’ve been in since the MTV awards: I’m not sure I like MTV Rob. I didn’t comment at all this week because I didn’t want the haters thumb-downing me (yes I’m sensitive like that).

    If I had the Rotten Tomatoes percentages in my head, he would have lost a few points for how he acted at the MTV awards. And it crushed me to think that the honeymoon is over. I was picturing him more like Adrienne, Bri, Crystal, Katie and Liz described.

    Not enough to make me “break up” with my love for Rob, but enough to give me a reality-check.

    Show me some love to compensate for my broken heart!

    • pukesten says:

      don’t worry Rob never breaks up with you for long, give it a week you’ll be back here proffesing your love.

    • BabiesBrown says:

      I’m coming out of a long comment drought on my end (still read daily just not much time to join in discussions) to say I agree w/you. I docked him a few points. I like the interviews where he seems less antsy and awkward. I mean there’s adorkable and there’s just – awkward. I felt like the KStew school of blink, mumble, stutter, touch your hair was what he went to for that “performance” at the awards. Remember the old Twi interviews before the hysteria really hit? Where he’d stand there and roll the mic b/t his fingers and say outrageous things and be adorkable without looking like he was having a seizure? That’s my Rob. People are supposed to mature a little as they get older, not become more socially inept. He’s hot, and while I get he doesn’t like playing the dog and pony show, he still needs to own it a bit more. You can make dirty jokes all you want just stand up straight while you do it speak clearly (like Chelsea did, for ex).
      Ok, folks. Flame me. I’ll just be over here having some Moose Tracks and watching WFE (Robfection!).

  14. robgirl86 says:

    To me Rob is Rob, no Edward, no Tyler ,no whatever role he did..he is what he is & that’s good in my book, so although I said I agree with minuit (as she draw a nice pic..), I don’t have any .”My-idea-Rob”,……..total lack of fantasy here I think.

    • robgirl86 says:

      replying to myself, very lame i know, but i forgot to add my fav Rob quote 🙂 :

      “You can never be known for what you want to be known for…People will know you for whatever they want to know you for.”

  15. tupelohoney says:

    I agree with Liz, my Rob is very similiar to Tyler in Remember Me.

    And though I love his British accent, I think I’m starting to love his american one (WFE) more. Sometimes wish he’d alternate accents in interviews. Weird, I know.

    I’d like to think he’s amazing in the bedroom too, but he’s still very young…. so probably not.

    What flavor ice cream ya got UC? Mine’s mint chocolate chip…

    • ladyofthemeadow says:

      “Twilight Coven Philippines has reported that Häagen-Dazs will be launching a line of Twilight inspired ice cream. I am not kidding.

      The three flavors include:

      »Dazzled at First Sight (Caremel Apple Crumble + Coffee)

      »A Kiss in the Meadow (Belgium Chocolate + Summer Berries)

      »Clair de Lune (Choc Choc Chip + Mango & Passion Fruit)

      According to the flyer you get a free movie ticket to see Twilight when you buy 2 pints or a multi pack.”

      from http://twilighters.org/2008/10/29/twilight-ice-cream

    • tupelohoney says:

      Thumbs down?? So someone doesn’t like Tyler? Rob’s american accent? Or maybe I shouldn’t have had the audacity to say that he might not be God’s gift to women in the bedroom? Hmmm….

      Maybe someone doesn’t care for mint chocolate chip?? What??

    • Mint choco chip too!!!

  16. Wendy says:

    This made me laugh really hard…and I didn’t expect it to. You guys have been hard on Ron recently what with all the “how I fell out of love Rob” letters and such. I guess I expected to be more defensive and tell you to eat some ice cream…but this letter is spot on. I agree with all of the letters…he is definitely all of those things…in my happy little oblivious mind. I don’t like to be reminded of reality when faced with all of his flaws and poor public speaking abilities!

    And for some reason I kept hearing the book “The Polite Elephant” while reading… “The polite elephant always knows the right things to say or do…If you should ever meet the polite elephant he’ll be just as polite to you…He’ll tip his hat and say ‘HOW DO YOU DO?'”

    I heart The Polite Rob…

  17. pukesten says:

    “how I fell out of love Rob”
    with regard to that i’ve chosen to forgive him for montreal, the non-kiss after the wfe premier.
    you have to work at a relationship

  18. maggie says:

    I love the Rob that exists in my fantasies and I love the real Rob – or at least the bits and pieces of the real Rob that we get to see. I would lick either of them. The end.

  19. Cath says:

    I think my Rob is pretty close to the real Rob, but, for one exception, I’ll leave it to that. (???) Maybe a few hints…Erm, Rob minus…well, not minus wonky legs, not minus Bear, not minus guitars or HotPockets…Hahahahaha!

    (I might mean minus cigarettes… well, in the political correct version of my comment that is…)

    Dun Dun Dun 🙂 *walks away whistling a certain Paul Simon song, ‘there must be 50 ways…’*

    • tupelohoney says:

      Dang it Cath, now you’ve gotten me stuck on that same song….

      How about we add this new line:

      ‘Get a new hob-nob Rob!’

      Walks away whistling….

  20. Denise says:

    Rob has always been the exact same to me every single interview or arwards show.

    The monent he said he was going to take a crap in is pant’s on MTV in 08 till now i have ALWAYS been like WTF.

    I only ever saw him as a smart dork but attractive and funny also sweet seems to have a good heart hates the paps and attention kind of guy. I just find his mind/him interesting and soooo different. To me that’s why LTR is a good read for me we have a million things to say about Rob he has so many blogs about him because he is crazy as hell so people are interested.

  21. gizmo says:

    I just love the fans who start preaching what Ron is REALLY like.

    To me, Ron used to be whatever fanfic Edward I was reading at the moment.

    This should officially be written down as a human right: Everyone has the right to project whatever fantasy they want onto a celebrity figure.

    They are out there, hustling and maintaining a certain image that is supposed to appeal to us. So… You know.
    I’ll reserve the right to make him my bitch in my mind if I feel like it, thank you very much.

    I have no delusions I’ll ever meet the guy.

    • Katie S says:

      “I’ll reserve the right to make him my bitch in my mind if I feel like it, thank you very much.”

      I kind of fell in like with you right now. <3

    • Michelle says:

      **Starts the slow clap**

      Thank you. You said what I miserably tried to hint at above…

      Fantasy people…fantasy.

    • Janetrigs says:

      I have no opinion. I forgot about the MTV awards on Monday. Oh well, next year it will humor me again.

  22. Are you kidding me? Verbal Diarrhea Rob is TOTALLY the Rob I love. I hope we can both be famous together someday and speak out loud in public together; perhaps we will set some sort of inappropriate F bomb record. Perhaps we could be the first celebrities in history to actually make someone else die of second hand embarrassment. We are idiot soul mates, he and I.

  23. hepburn says:

    I’m guessing the Rob irl is very much like a friend of mine lets call him X. He’s 20 years old and I love him to death but I would never consider dating him. He routinely forgets I’m a girl and has no qualms about making inappropriate jokes around me, farting around me etc… Yesterday, he sent me a picture of him wearing a pair of jeans that he had ripped at his crotch area, skateboarding. That facepalm that Kstew did on Sunday? That’s me every single day, with this kid. I suppose the Rob, I imagined in my mind is very much like Edward but after Sunday… I’m guessing he’s more like X than I would like and X is my best friend/ brother, not someone I would date. He’s still the best looking motherf*cker in Hollywood though.

  24. My Rob is bearded, and smells like a mix of Guinness and laundry.

  25. Brenn says:

    My Rob is smart, self-deprecating, funny, well-read, empathic, caring. I loved the Rob on Oprah. Very humble and he seemed like a super nice person.

    And everyone knows I love VFRob. I find him the most sexy when he looks a little pissed off.

  26. JodieO says:

    *slowly lowers her ice cream smeared spoon*

    Am I really the only one who loves dumbass Rob who sneaks an ill-timed F-bomb on live tv and has only just learned to button his shirts properly?

  27. Jessica says:

    For some reason, whenever Rob does or says something awkward or silly–like his MTVMA speech–my opinion of him doesn’t waver. I guess it’s because I don’t always imagine him as the same person every time. Like, one day I picture him as a shy, goofy, adorkable young man who can’t do anything right, and the next day, in my mind, he’s a sexy, perfect ladies’ man, driving a motorcycle or something.
    So, whenever everyone else frowns upon Rob’s faults, I kinda just…ADAPT, ya know? It’s hard to explain, lol. I’m just weird, I guess. 😛

  28. Vanessamdn says:

    Do you remember when Rob said he admired Charlie Sheen because he liked crazy people “who don’t give a fuck”? That was the Rob at the MMAs! Of course this is just one side of his personality… he’s also a loving nice inteligent talented and educated person. At leats that’s the Rob I imagine he is and the Rob I love…

  29. I must add to my version of Rob. Because there is something I love about Rob, I do love his verbal diarea! I love that Rob is a goober! when he says all the goofy junk I just laugh. I did not get to see the mtv awards. But after reading all your comments I think I will head on over to youtube.

  30. twiprof says:

    I think I agree with Liz….my Rob is really a lot like Tyler…in an interview for the remember me press junket, Rob said he thought this character was as close to playing himself as any other character he has played to date…..in the end, I still adore him….even as awkward rob….

  31. Raven says:

    Honestly you guys he is a person. Stop judging so critically, not trying to be a b*tch or anything but come on. Do not tell me you don’t have times where you act insane and a bit out of character. You’ve never met this person so you can’t hold certain expectations. 🙂 Especially when you’re nervous in front of a crowd or even someone’s parents, there will be times when word vomits spews and you have to just go a long with it. All I have to say I think.

  32. roslynselene says:

    I haven’t read all the comments as I am busy but I just HAD to pop in here really quick to give my opinion.

    I love/hate his dorky side (a la MTVMA’s). I have a huge goofy smile while squirming and cringing from the second hand embarrassment. Idk, it’s totally confusing. If I had a choice to run up there and tell him to sit the fuck down or do nothing, I’d just sit back and say, “Ah fuck it. Let him make a fool of himself for my entertainment.” and you know, continue to eat my popcorn and watch shit hit the fan because I like it. IDK IDK! I make no sense.

    The Rob in my imagination is just funny Rob. I’ll take all his lame ass jokes and phrases any day. I’d never be bored. I don’t think about how the real Rob is in bed (I find it a little creepy) but I have thought about Jacob Jankowski, Tyler (and soon, Eric). Duh! Those sex scenes are HOT.
    (Rob, please don’t be a monkey slut and take Reese’s advice: NO sex tapes. I’ve seen porn and that shit ain’t cute.)

    • pukesten says:

      thats so strange i find it weird imaging “real” Rob in bed, but then I have no trouble thinking of him as edward ripping the head board or as the edwards in the (ridiculously unsafe amount of) fanfic I read.

      what is that about? i’m sure freud would have had a theory about this.

  33. Katycourgar says:

    Oh yes a nice mixture is needed. No pale and pasty virgin for me. I will admit to all that Rob playing Edward is the only reason I watched TMTSNBN. Go ahead and hate me. I welcome it with open arms.

    Take Cedric and toss in Tyler, then add a lot of Jacob. Make sure you stir. Then slowly add Georges and Erick so that they mix well. Separation could occur if you add them too quickly. Then lastly add the nuts, I mean the MTV Rob. The playful take over the show and call it RTV Rob.

    Bake slowly on low heat. We don’t want this to burn. You will know if it is done when the outside is slightly browned and the inside is tender.

    At no time should SWSNBN be allowed near. This would cause the recipe to fail and this man has better things in his future.

    I see a lot of people taking this way too far, but that is okay. That is what Rob makes us do. I have no problem with nuts. I still love you guys even if you are wrong…………LOL……..in my eyes. Holds my palm over my mouth. I will say no more.

    Looking forward to next year when the Rob and Reese team compete for Best Kiss………….. I see great things happening here. All is well in my imaginary Rob world.

    Yes the Rob and Reese Show, or do we call it the Reese and Rob Show. I have a feeling that Reese will want top billing. You were on top in WFE and I think she wants to be on top now.

    Please note that Rob does not know about Girdles. So give him a break for gurgles. Next time Chelsea that you and Reese write material for Rob use Spanx.

    http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/660172/robert-pattinson-chelsea-handler-patrick-dempsey-present-the-mtv-generation-award.jhtml#id=1664155

  34. roslynselene says:

    Oh and I forgot something!

    I don’t see Rob as my husband or boyfriend. I think we’d be fuck buddies AT THE MOST. Rob + Me = Disaster. I just know it wouldn’t work. He looks like the type I tend to boss around and I need someone who’s not a pushover. Sorry Rob, I just want to be your friend (…with benefits). I don’t want a serious relationship with you. It just wouldn’t work. 🙁

  35. Mary says:

    I love all the versions of Rob I have seen so far! I can’t just pick one or two certain things about him I love or like about him. Either way I would do Rob he wants to be!

  36. Mary says:

    I love all the versions of Rob I have seen so far! I can’t just pick one or two certain things about him I love or like about him. Either way I would do any Rob that he wants to be!

  37. dazzledtodeath says:

    Oh, I don’t know-I thought Rob was hilarious. I know he can be well-spoken, thoughtful, etc. etc-it didn’t bother me to see him acting a little, um, goofy and being a little outrageous. And really, when he came out with the “I f*cked you” line, I just about died (of lust). I liked seeing Rob a little out there. His behavior at the MMA’s wasn’t out of line with who I think Rob is-and really, I’d take him any way I could get him. No complaints here 🙂

    (I actually like hearing a little profanity from Rob now & then-it’s such a change from his typical public persona, I found it hot. Although I don’t like a potty mouth (hello, KSpew)).

  38. Katie S says:

    Oh! On a related note… Has anyone made the “I f*cked you” sound byte yet? Don’t be slackers… I need a new ringtone.

  39. pukesten says:

    did anyone see the “robsten backstage hand holding PDA” on perez
    i’m not sure if i’m more disappointed with myself cos I read perez today or the fact that I watched it back 25 times, i’m still not convinced

  40. Katycourgar says:

    One Tired Man

    I just have toi say one last thing. I swear ………okay.

    The poor boy worked more than a week straight and got a flight Saturday from Toronto to be here in California in the afternoonl. He missed the rehearsal Friday and Reese and Chelsea tried to help out. You know he could have stayed on set, but I think when he found out about Reese….yeah she probably called him and told him to get his skinny Ass on a plane.

    By Monday morning he was back on a plane headed to Toronto to go back to work. That is barely more than one full day and a lot of miles.
    I think at that point I would have a hard time functioning. I think Rob did fan….tastic.
    Just so you know……..enough said.

    http://tinkrbe1l3.tumblr.com/post/6246224735/oh-i-love-him-so-lol-debb24601-this-ranks-up

  41. sobbingmess says:

    I think he was doing this on purpose: Please, stop, loving me so much, I am a dork , I will finally buy a house. And he is reading too much fanfiction. I love you ladys, always a good laugh.

  42. lola says:

    Sometimes I wonder if he acts out just get all these bitches off his jockstrap so he can take a breather from all the expectant estrogen in his direction. lol

    I think real life rob is very elusive, i don’t think he shares that rob with us often. I think he is quite good at deflectionary tactics, including acting like a dumb blonde.

    I don’t think he’s adorable, I don’t think he’s crazy. i tend to think he’s crazy like a fox, and that there si probably a method to his madness. Sometimes I don’t get the method, but I tend to think he’s more saavy and politically minded in terms of how to survive a franchise than he lets on to the fanbase.

  43. lola says:

    ps: as for the mtv awards. I think one thing to consider is this is his third time winning awards that are irrelevant. I’m sorry, but it’s a slap on the cheek in some ways for them at this point, it’s just stamping “edward cullen 2008” deeper into his forehead as a franchise and pop cultural endnote for 2008.

    So did he come off a bit flippant, a bit unprepared and careless? Yes. On some level is it a bit ungrateful looking?Yes.

    Could that be the point though? I’m sorry, but twihards take this all too seriously. Do you think all the cast needs to win every cateogory, which in turn only proves that twihards are simply the most extreme in phone voting tactics?

    If Rob and Kristen refuse to kiss, when all that phone voting was to force them too, is that a good way to make the crazy twihards stop phoning it in all crazy? Does Rob showing a lack of gratitude make some twihards realize they don’t need to vote nonsteop for hours a day?

    I’m betting yes. And again, I think there is a method behind his madness.

    As for Reese, please. He was with Chelsea Handler, she’s raunchy and rude. If I was anchoring Chelsea, I would have done something a little crude too. It wasn’t what he did, it was his lack of preparation and execution that was dumb.

  44. Wende says:

    I thought Rob was hilarious the whole night and that he was the exact Rob that I love. Unpredictable, dorky, a little drunk, funny, and not taking himself (or the MTV Movie Awards) too seriously. Its not like he acted like this at the Oscars.

  45. mskirara says:

    Of course he can’t live up to the rob in our minds but, that’s what he’s been sayin all along. That if we knew the “real” him we wouldn’t like him. But we still love him second hand embarrassments and all. P.S Did anyone else see Taylor getting into that kiss he grabbed the back of Robs neck, or was it just me?

  46. Pattygirl says:

    If you love a certain Rob based on your ideal perception than you are not a true fan, you are delusional and living in a fantasy world.

    This is the Rob that I love, snarky, spontaneous (his Zac Efron comment) , he is in Eric Parker mood.

    Seeing the backstage video, seems the stew was very hyper, while Rob was calm, cool.

    Love you more Rob! Don’t change!

  47. Pattygirl says:

    And pls tay tay is so boring, even MTV giving him same eksposure in the opening skit proves that!

  48. Pattygirl says:

    And Rob pls kiss Emma Watson nxt year !

  49. Pattygirl says:

    Reese Witherspoon Schools a Generation on Proper Naked-Photo Technique

    Last night’s MTV Movie Awards were, well, the MTV Movie awards: a little sloppy, a little silly, with tons of shameless schilling and the occasional entertaining moment. Between Aaron Sorkin dialogue losing out to a line from Grown Ups, Steven Spielberg sucking it up to promote Super 8, Twilight’s clean sweep, and Jason Sudeikis not bombing while wearing a very shiny jacket, “the most enjoyable moment of the whole spectacle ” — if you don’t count the continued ecstasies of Kristen Stewart’s discomfited facial expressions — was a one-two punch from Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon. Witherspoon was being presented with the “Generation” award. Pattinson, along with Chelsea Handler and Patrick Dempsey, presented it to her. While Dempsey and Handler had prepared their very professional, warm-hearted spiels with enough time to get them on the TelePrompTer, Pattinson did no such thing and read his speech off a handwritten note. Perhaps because his comments hadn’t been vetted, Pattinson made the rare televised mistake of talking about Witherspoon like he actually knew her. The result was a little too personal, a little inappropriate, and contained tons of nervous laughter and an uncensored F-bomb. In other words, Robert Pattinson should give more awards speeches!

    Pattinson, after taking some ribbing from Dempsey and Handler about being unprepared and nervous laughing a lot, joked that Witherspoon had cut him out of his first movie, Vanity Fair, in which she had played his mother. He then noted that he had more recently gotten to play her lover in Water for Elephants, he didn’t cut her out, and oh, he got to “fuck” her. The censor missed that one. As he said, Pattinson muffed the punch line of this joke (Witherspoon would later rectify that), but in the process he made himself seem much more appealingly dirty-minded than either have ever seemed before. He then went on to talk about how much Witherspoon likes tequila and make a joke about people being 33 percent lesbian. Inside jokes! Celebrities have them too!

    For an awards show, this was all delightfully unhinged (plus, it successfully upstaged Chelsea Handler) and seemed to put Witherspoon in a feisty mood. When she took to the stage, her hair a bit mussed, she immediately corrected Pattinson’s joke, pointing out that he should have said that makes him the best motherfucker in Hollywood. Thinking on her feet, that one. After making a crack at Handler (“Who knows where her mouth has been”) and being nice to Dempsey, Witherspoon decided to drop some knowledge:

    “I get it, girls, that it’s cool to be a bad girl. But it is possible to make it in Hollywood without doing a reality show. [Beat] When I came up in this business, if you made a sex tape, you were embarrassed and you hid it under your bed. [Beat] And if you took naked pictures of yourself on your cell phone, you hide your face, people!”

    We only assume that Blake Lively was not in the audience at the time. No producer would have missed the opportunity to pan to her reaction.

  50. Lilian says:

    I’ll take him goofy, inappropriate, 2nd hand embarrassment. I have learn’t over the past couple of years that I might so annoyed with him like MTV thing but I’ll always crawl back to him no matter what. He will always have me.

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