Rob does Bel Ami; we have a few new ringtones to make

Dear Rob: Before Moon left me for all eternity (well, not that long but until August 18th- UGH!) we broke down the Bel Ami trailer. AND YOU THOUGHT WE FORGOT!

UC: Ohh man Rob’s first line to that man, “I only just got Out.” Um.. the way he says “Out” he kinda growls. It’s hot. I’m gonna rip that out and use it as my ringtone. “out” growwwl
Moon: dude the line “even the whores are getting raped” is SO awful even the 2nd time (I watched this yesterday)
UC: Um.. I think he said even the whores are getting RICH.. cuz it doesn’t make sense otherwise “paris is filthy with money, even the whores are getting Rich” phew! Rob’s whores are safe.

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"These whores are aging me day by day..."

UC: Rob looks older. CGI wrinkles on his head?

Moon: dude that guys a dick telling Rob which knife to use. he’s not used to this fancy dining- he usually only eats with his hands DUH
UC: Duh.. he’s like “where is the microwave”
Moon: or where is the in n out? the burgers come in a wrapper- you don’t need utensils
UC: who is the older woman Rob gets it on with? Ohhh Kristen Scott Thomas… wow she looks OLDER than usual…. and it’s like…. weird.. seeing him get it on with a woman that old… I think he’s gonna give a lot of cougars some false hope…did you see this part where Cedric comes on set for the day to make love:

I want to show you my wand

Moon: cederic is all up in 2011′s movies. first breaking dawn now bel ami. he is NOT dead. mr diggory’s boy did NOT die
UC: right. Cedric has (warning: Harry Potter Spoilers ahead- Moon you will just have to pretend to understand)… Cedric made horcruxes- 2 of them. Because he wanted to live on in Breaking Dawn & Bel Ami
UC: he was sad his life ended before he got down & dirty with Cho Chan in the goblet of fire, so he made sure to return in two movies where he could get it on with his co stars
Moon: WHORE crux
UC: WHORE crux!! Oh the jokes!
Moon: poor cho chan didn’t get a chance to get it on with Cedric in under that invisibility cloak. What CRAP!
UC: Look at you with your HP references! Acting like you know what you’re talking about!!

Mr. Pattinson: would you pass the hot pockets?

Moon: you ever wondered what a dinner with Rob and a bunch of Robsessed ladies looks like? that dinner at :50
Moon: they actually weren’t even acting- they just hired some ladies from the Rob fan club and their names just happened to be christina ricci, kristen scott thomas and whoever that other lady is- i bet that dinner was themed
UC: hahahaha!! that other lady is named Uma Thurman.! No biggie
Moon: like bella’s blood wine coolers and creamed panties peas
UC: they even decorated with feathers
Moon: wore sheets for dessert
UC: that dude got pissed b/c the feathers kept getting stuck in his stache
Moon: and every lady was undressing Rob with their eyes, so he decided to knock him down a peg by calling out his atrocious table manners. poor claire… couldn’t ever get through to him
UC: Poor Claire indeed…well, sorta. She DID get to meet some of her favorite movie actresses after all… She’s a big Kristen Scott Thomas fan. They had a lot to talk about..Claire just tried to ignore that she was fake-banging her son on screen (she has to do that a lot!)
Moon: too bad kristen kept asking claire boxers of briefs questions
UC: Actually every woman she meets has fake banged her son in their head. so she’s used to ignoring it

Moon: when Rob says “I’m going to ruin you” is it wrong that i like it?? that may be MY new ringtone
UC: hahaha it’s hot. Mad Rob is hot
Moon: I’m going to RRRRRRRuin you! all growly
UC: hahha he spent some time with a lion in preparation for all his lines
Moon: practiced during WFE filming

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UC: so…. Rob looks HOT in this movie. and his growl is AWESOME
UC: but… i have NO idea what it’s about. So, let’s figure it out: Rob has sex with 3 different woman
Moon: I think that about sums it up!
UC: Rob meets a man with a mustache. Married to one of those woman. Rob gets married? To a different woman he despises? Does the mustache man try to RRRRRUin him?
Moon: Rob is a poor penniless lush with bad table manners who has a lot of sex, tells people he will RRRRuin them and then someone dies?

"I got the syph, pop"

UC: He gets some sort of STD cuz he, looks real sweaty & gross at the end. Does he die? Terrorist attack agin? Or from a disease where you sweat a lot?
Moon: you KNOW he dies of the syph or something. i mean that much sex in turn of the century paris??? we’ve all seen the pbs movies and read the history books
UC: right. He TOTES frequented moulin rouge
Moon: shit was NOT pretty
UC: So I think we summed it up. Good job trailer makers. Georges (i had to look up his name. I thought it was Bel Ami) can’t read. But he sure can use his D*ck
strong>Moon: Oh at the end there’s another great quote/ringtone: “I’ve been such a fool”
UC: Georges makes a mess of things. Georges dies from the syph
Moon: also this dude who invites Rob to dinner should KNOW his wife is gonna leave him for Rob. R Kelly says don’t bring your chick to the club cause I might leave wit yo chick. DUH if you love yo chick don’t bring her to the vip, cause i might leave wit yo chick
UC: haghahaha
Moon: any man who knows a Robsessed lady knows better than to bring Rob to dinner… that’s like throwing a steak in front of a lion… he will RRRRRUIN it

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Love,
UC & Moon (in absentia)

So.. what did you think about the trailer!? Oh and THANK YOU to all who have submitted LTRs so far- I plan to read them all & respond this weekend, but keep them coming! I still need your help!! XOXO

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

63 Responses to “Rob does Bel Ami; we have a few new ringtones to make”

  1. niahid says:

    LMAO. How I miss this site, especially when you girls do this ” breaking it down” thing.
    I didn’t see Cedric, but I do recall that hot scene from Haunted Airman.

  2. Pattygirl says:

    1st comment but can’t say cause clip is too dark. Have a nice trip Moon! Looking forward to this movie,and he didn’t die in the end, he married the KST daugther just to get even with her dad.

  3. Pattygirl says:

    ah Niahid, u beat me to it, yeah love breaking down issue of LTR.

  4. maah says:

    I liked the trailer, it was really well cut.
    Uma Thurman has a sexy voice and she looks pretty and even Christina Ricci who never was that atractive is kind cute in the trailer, but Kristin is looking older than she is. But no biggie, we know Rob has no problems with cougars ( differents strokes for different folks hehe).
    Rob passes so much emotion in all his scenes, when he is jealous looking at the whorehouse, and he’s trying to be sexy, damn did you all see the way he was eyefucking Uma? When he was mad! My fav part was when he screamed “GET OU, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” That part remind me of Little Ashes, wich I think was his most visceral acting. But the last part when he’s face up laid down on a bed, I just could think , Hello there Art! He totally looks like Art there.

    Ps.: I just wanted to see a little bit of Natalia Tena (she plays a whore called Rachel, she also plays Tonks in Harry Potter) but she didn’t appear in the trailer, maybe because it’s a small role. She is very pretty in a kinda crazy way, just like Rob, can’t wait to see them together on screen

  5. ladyofthemeadow says:

    Is it totally mean of me to think that Kristan Scott-Thomas looks way older than me, even though she’s not THAT much older? Look, I have to get my jollies at her expense from somewhere; the woman just pretended to do Rob.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Kristen does look older, but I think a lot of it has to do with her hair in Bel Ami – strange, dowdy style and drab color. In real life, she seems to have aged beautifully. I recently saw her in a trailer for another movie and she looked fantastic. Pretty sure she transcends the cougar label.

      • ladyofthemeadow says:

        I was cruelly commenting on the “laugh lines” around her eyes. I so don’t have those (THANK GOD), and I laugh a lot.

        I agree she looks fantastic. I was just being totally mean. I also think it’s so romantic and enviable that she has fake banged our Rob, is famours, thin, attractive, fluently bilingual, married to a French ob/gyn, and lives in the French countryside. Sigh.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          Yah, she may have trancended the cougar label, but she has not transcended the enviable bitch label (just kidding). :)

          She ended up divorcing her husband for some guy 14 years her junior (see http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/06_01/tobiasDM0806_468x411.jpg)

          I’ve always wanted to wear a shawl like that (in linked photo) – she looks boho, I’d look hobo. Also, I don’t think I could pull off carrying my handbag like that (draped over my shoulder) without feeling totally ridiculous. But Kristin, yes, she can do that and not look like a ridiculous hobo. Because she’s Kristin. Enviable bitch.

  6. natteringyeahrobber says:

    I cannot remember – been years since I had world history class – what exactly was Paris doing so that it was so filthy rich back then? Maybe we need to do that in the USA now because we aren’t so filthy rich. I’d love to get to a point where someone can yell “the USA is so filthy rich…even the teachers and social workers are drowning in paychecks! All schools are fully funded, and everyone can afford to go to the doctor!”

    ANYHOW, that clip. I should probably read Bel Ami, maybe the whole riches of France thing is explained. I should probably also drink less coffee.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Ok, spent 5 minutes doing Belle Epoque economic research. Basically, the rich used cheap labor to get richer (a time-tested formula, it seems). So the whole “even the whores are getting rich” should have been more like “the whores are probably supporting themselves in a meager yet not entirely destitute way and the upper-class are underpaying most every one in the country so they can live some elaborate posh lifestyle at their expense.” Guess that doesn’t have the same ring to it, though.

      • The Old One says:

        Now I’m intimidated by your research skills, Nat. Thanks.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          1 minute on Wikipedia, 4 minutes listening to some Yale professor yap on about class structure. Pretty much all it took to figure out: same old sh*t, different century.

  7. sjaantje says:

    I was so excited when the “Bel Ami” trailer finally came out. I even more excited that you guys have broken it down. Great job ladies! I have learned not to be drinking coffee when I read these. They always crack me up.
    Have a safe trip Moon.
    I gotta go and finish my coffee now.

  8. Kaybvee says:

    I’ve been wanting to read this book too but have been waiting for the version with Cedric on the cover-sad, but true. Last I looked there was just some generic top hatted dude. I may have done that with Cosmopolis too but DH bought it for me at a used bookstore…

    Will this movie ever come out?!?!?! Dying here.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      They should also put full-color movie still inserts in the Bel Ami book (in the middle). Basically just stills of Rob in various stages of undress, with naughty out-of-context sentences from the book.

      Like:

      He replied: “I should have come, whensoever you bade me.”

      or

      “From time to time she murmured: “Yes, yes; very good—excellent—very forcible—”

      or

      “I will make the sauce but I must have the dish”

  9. Angie says:

    OMR!!! You girls are a freakin RIOT!!! This movie is going to RRRRRUUUUIIN my underpants!!! LOL!

  10. HowToBe says:

    Ok, you know how ya’ll said Rob was not a boy, but not yet a man after WFE? I think he’s gonna bring the manhood in this one. That’s right, I said Rob’s gonna bring the manhood.

  11. Kaybvee says:

    Bah, I want to be able to do that to room service-seriously. And they say she’s NOT an ice queen anymore? Lordy.

    So she’s like 51, ok I feel better now.

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      Room service these days! God! :)

      But I totally understand. I hate trying to make tea with water that is not at the proper temperature. And a good cup of tea…HEAVEN. It makes up for a lot of other things. For instance, the hotel my husband and I stayed at for our honeymoon. There was no heat and it was 30 degrees outside, but hot tea was always available. We’d come back from a hike, check in at the front desk, and ask to have tea sent to our room. And it would arrive 10 minutes later and it would be perfect, and it would be hot, and there was even a heated stainless steel container of *warm* milk on the side. Since it was so cold, we ordered a lot of tea. They didn’t pull the “here’s a thermos” trick, which was much appreciated.

      • ladyofthemeadow says:

        Are you sure you’re not part Brit?! Appreciation of proper tea is a clue.

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          I am not too particular about tea, as long as it is served hot and in a cup. Please, not in a coffee mug. Coupe-shaped cup. Guess I’m more particular about the vessel.

    • ladyofthemeadow says:

      She dealt with the tea problem very graciously. She could have done a diva and made a scene, but didn’t. I am liking her more and more. Will have to find a Kristen S-T movie to watch this weekend!

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Dearest LTM:

        Oh hello? Lady of the Meadow, are you there? It’s me, KST.

        http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1856485632/tt1459012

        Yes, just me sitting around, managing to make some frumpy looking robe look fabulous. Rob’s not the only beautiful hobo, you know! Yes, it is just me, reading LTR on my laptop, ordering tea service. Anywho, recommmend Easy Virtue. Not sure if it is any good, but it has this hot young guy (well 29) in it: http://benbarnesfan.com/gallery/albums/miscellaneous/others/photoshoots-unsorted/Ben_Barnes_002.jpg

        And Colin Firth. So really, even if the movie sucks, you have eye and ear candy.

        Off to yell at the cleaner for messing up the ruche detail in my teal silk blouse,

        KST

        • ladyofthemeadow says:

          Dear KST,

          Oh, my. Are we already on terms good enough that we just need to use initials? I am excited to hear from you because I so admire your work, and envy that you’ve had some great leading men to play with.

          Thank you so much for the movie recommendation. I will be sure to check it out. And Ben Barnes! Gosh, I’ll definitely be checking him out too. He can be my young fantasy and Colin can be my mature fantasy. How do you manage to work with such fabulously talented and handsome men, while looking so fabulously hobo yourself?

          You just can’t get good help these days, can you? I know you will be kind but very, very firm with that negligent dry cleaner. I’d love to hear how you were kind but very, very firm with our mutual friend Rob.

          I hope you find some time in your day to check in with LTT/LTR. We are a friendly bunch who sometimes can be quite imaginative and wickedly witty.

          Meadow

          (It’s Meadow, just Meadow)

        • Bea says:

          Anything with Colin is worth watching.

      • The Old One says:

        If you haven’t seen The English Patient, that’s the one to see!

  12. Kaybvee says:

    No heat! I might have (literally) turned into an ice bitch for that one…

  13. ladyofthemeadow says:

    I’m thinking about Claire right now.

    I mean, why don’t we ever say Claire looks good? We always say Dick looks good.

    What DOES she make of all the highly estrogenated women screaming for a piece of her son’s private parts? As a mom, I’d be, like, ew. I think.

    Does she wonder what Kristen thought about Rob’s performance when she was fake-banging Rob?

    Claire, does Dick do boxers of briefs?

    I think there’s lots of material here for someone to do a LTT from Claire’s perspective. I’m not much of a writer. Maybe someone else is.

  14. Munkee says:

    Very, very nicely done.

  15. Kaybvee says:

    It’s weird as a mom of a son, I’ve had people make comments about my two year old boy-”ooh, he’s going to be such a looker, he’ll be fighting off the girls with a stick”…”those eyes and lashes, wow, he’s such a flirt.” And yeah, he is a flirt, especially to waitresses whoa…but don’t tell me my kid is hot! Skeeves me out.

    I wonder if Claire got that about Rob, he was so cute! Hmmm, I’ve been trying to think of a letter to write, one from Claire is a good idea! I thought of a letter the other night and then forgot what it was the next day. It was brilliant too! I’m sure…

    • ladyofthemeadow says:

      Agreed. As a mom, it’s as disturbing as thinking of your parents at it. DD is a tween and discovered stuffing her bra with tissues… oh my.

  16. roslynselene says:

    Loved this breakdown! I didn’t notice Cedric up until now. I literally laughed out loud.

    Speaking of Cedric,
    http://youtu.be/bmgO3LQl9So
    (I didn’t notice all the Harry/Cedric sexual tension until now. Esp when Cedric whispers to Harry, “It’s not a bad place for a bath…” Lmao)

  17. Kaybvee says:

    Ack! I loved that episode…my college roommate IS Elaine, especially in the Chinese restaurant epi…

    And I am reminded of vintage Ralph Fiennes, yummy. Is it wrong that he was even a little hot as a chubby Nazi? Probably. But I liked the (semi redeemed) Nazi in The Pianist too, he was a little Fiennes-y…I have issues.

  18. LadyN says:

    This movie is gonna RRRRRRRuin me!
    Kill me dead, Rob. Dead!

    ps. what is this movie about again? oh who cares, his asscrack shows! *giddy*

    • LadyN says:

      “I’m hoping for better luck in Paris!” This, like, makes me cringegigglesnort EV.ERY.TIME! hehehehe

      *loops* I can’t stop watching. Sigh.
      notice how he kisses wayyy better than the TWI movies…the noisy kissy part right there is yum yum. Lovet. I want some of dat. Sigh some more.

  19. tiffanized says:

    I feel like that whole knife scene was accidental. Like the actor playing the snobby guy was actually calling out Rob and they just happened to have the cameras rolling. Not that I would know what stinking knife to use–I’m of the mindset that if it does the job, it’s the right utensil.

  20. Bea says:

    “Whore crux” is my favorite one-liner in forever. Nice break-down, girls!

  21. guitargirl says:

    Breaking Dawn who?

  22. Katycougar says:

    Yes Rob is a little man-whore. Is that not what we live for. Having sex with a woman in her 50’s. Twice his age and older than his mom………..wow………. Ulma is in her 40’s. Rob is making us cougar’s happy everywhere. He spreads himself across the board on this one. I think we will all be happy.

    Ulma has always been hot and in Kill Bill she was my hero.

    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3394935040/tt0266697

    Now we see this…………

    http://belamimovie.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/georges2.jpg

    We have the Cedric connection. You girls are so wise. See below:

    Then there is Natalia Tena who plays a whore that Rob I mean Georges favors a lot. The Harry Potter connection is made. She plays Nymphadora Tonks. I think her sister or cousin is Bellatrix Lestrange. Yes she is a good guy though. Love that name Nympadora…………It translates to mean Gift of the Nymphs. Yeah I was thinking something else too.

    http://harrypotter.wikia.com/index.php?title=Nymphadora_Tonks&image=Nyphadora_Tonks_HBP-JPG

    Here is an interview about working with Rob on Bel Ami.

    Spoiler alert: Georges lives a long and happy life after destroying everyone. Yeah he is a real dick.

    UC and Moon………..Whore crux’s? Really………….. LMAO…………. Love it. Please someone keep them safe. Maybe you two can write the screenplay to this movie that ties Cedric and Bel Ami together. We could have Ulma hunting down the Whore crux’s. Then Tena would be the one guarding them. I think this could work. Both are good fighters. What could we name it?

    All is well in my world.

  23. LatersBaby says:

    Since BMHB, I’ve been dying to hear him in another role where he can use his native tongue.

    I think he will be a stronger actor when he isn’t inhibbited by a foreign accent. I mean, really… have we heard anything as hot as, “RRRRRUin” in his last several roles?

    *whispers* thinking of going to Canada if the premier is confirmed.

  24. maggie says:

    Great breakdown ladies. This movie should “ruin” us all. I for one, know that I’ll be crawling out of the theater on my hands and knees weeping. Rob always has said we should see a lot of his “bum” so that alone is worth the price of admission.

    KST is my new favorite person in the whole world. I flove picturing DuRob making love to a ripe old (yet hot) cougar – even though he eventually seems to throw her to the ground passionately yelling that he hates her. Hmm. I’d even do that with him.

    And here’s my favorite line from your breakdown:

    “Actually every woman she (Claire) meets has fake banged her son in their head.”

    So true. I wonder how she feels about that. It must be strange – especially when the woman is her own age – or even older! She definitely has to be immune by now or else she would never be able to have a conversation with any female (and probably a few males) ever again!!!

    Hoor Cruxes forever!!

  25. nina says:

    This is one of the funniest sites on internet. This really made my day :-D…. yup still laughing…

  26. Ally says:

    Am i the only one who thought it said a penisless soilder at the beggining

  27. Hello All!!! I’m baaack!

    I’ve survived a week without internet and Rob! Nope, didn’t kick the habit just had a staycation at my sis’s. Now that I’ve caught up on all the LTR I missed I need to thank you all for these:

    -the vid of Liam and Andrew(?). Hilarity, love that they also mentioned LUBE!
    -I don’t think there is a pic out there that will get me over Rob! but under, that’s a different story ;) Great letter TOO!
    -Rob, I don’t care what you do on vacay but I will reccomend that some of your mates are playing gigs soon and I REALLY think you should support them!
    -Bel Ami? Yes, please!!! Whore crux-really glad Ced decided to go with those.
    -And UC, why did you have to go and bring up the corn and sweater pic the other day?! ded again

    Missed you all and am glad to be back to regular programming!

    RFM

  28. meryl says:

    Am I the only one who thinks this looks kind of Bad. I mean rob is hot and everything but I can,t get over the cheesy ass music.

  29. [...] Twilightness… Bel Ami! Remember that movie Rob Pattinson filmed way back when? Well now it has a trailer. Talk about a change [...]

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