The one where I play devil’s advocate with myself
I have to admit, I’m not the Rob-beard loving (and I’m not talking about you-know-who) one of the bunch. That role belongs to Moon (who do you think picked our header image up there?) So you showing up today, apparently on your way to a baseball game in Maryland, with a beard was not my cup o’tea.
So maybe it was because of starting off on THAT scratchy note that I found a few other things I wasn’t crazy about (besides the paparazzi clearly pissing off my main man):
1. Baltimore ORIOLES? really? I’m pretty sure they’re a baseball team & I know for SURE the Phillies are better. So either you’re going for the hipster-idea of “This sports team isn’t good so I’m going to pretend to like them,” or you got a free hat OR you found a hat in the trash. Oh.. the latter is obviously what happened so forget about the other two options. Moving on..
2. Your beard. Not much else to say here except, despite the length, that does NOT look soft. It looks like a prickly porcupine & I know because Mr. Choice has been rockin’ a beard for 2ish years now. It’s NEVER soft until you let it grow more to “Homeless living under the bridge” length, which is different from “homeless and occasionally crashing in the church’s backyard” length or “homeless but getting at least 1.5-2 meals a day at SALVO” length. Believe me- there’s a difference. I know. I live in the ‘hood. I have a “backyard at the church” homeless AND a “under the broken down semi truck” homeless man on my block. You gotta look way more homeless in order for the beard to soften up.
3. Why wear a shirt at all if you’re going to wear one you can see through completely!? For the answer… enter #4:
4. Moobs? Really? Your arms look so thin- how did all the fat end up THERE?
5. Surprise, Surprise. You’re wearing a shirt with a hole in it! And we KNOW you’re not broke… sooooo laziness? Not just pulling hats out of the trash but also (still) pulling shirts from the dumpster? Sigh… no one can say money has changed you!
But then, as I looked harder at the picture… my thoughts sorta changed:
1. I’m still not sure if the Orioles are a baseball team, but maybe you’re just trying to be nice because they had a bad season & aren’t as good as the Phillies.*
2. Still nothing positive to say about the beard. See Moon for that
3. Your worn-in shirt looks so comfy & I want to cuddle up in it. You may be there, if you want. But I’d probably rather snuggle up in it alone. Looks like you might save me money on PJs. Or at least a new/old exercise shirt
4. Wait… are those… Pecs? Hmmm… not necessarily a good thing that we cant tell if they’re Moobs or Pecs… but…. they could be Pecs!
5. Still wearing holes in your clothes means all those millions you’re making at just there… WAITING for someone to spend them… and, well, I’m willing!
So two opinions on one look (but one opinion on the scratchy beard- shave it!)
*Look at me. Pretending to know/care/etc. about sports!
What do you think of Rob’s “look” as of late? Does the beard bother you? And WHY is he wearing a Baltimore Orioles hat? I KNOW someone out there knows!!!