Rob Porn Friday (I even wrote a song!)

Dear Rob,

This week has been the week of Kristen. You know her right? I mean, OBVIOUSLY you know her! She’s dating an Englishman and you know a couple of those (ps our new favorite twitter account)

But anyway- she’s had like 12 photoshoots (okay 2) and interviews that were released & I guess it’s because next month is the month of #TheBeginningOfTheEnd but I’m wondering…. what about YOU? Why weren’t YOU on GQ this month? and even GLAMOUR? If Glamour wants to gain more readers, skip a month of showing off pretty skinny model or actress and throw YOU on the front next to a caption that says “101 ways to please him down THERE”

Anyway, I’m guessing we’ll have plenty of covershoots of you to look forward to over the next month+, and I can’t wait. But that doesn’t help me today. And Today is Friday Friday… and so I wrote a little song:

Friday Friday
Gotta have Rob-Porn Fridays
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday Friday
Love my Rob-Porn Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend

Partying Parting (yeah!)

I think it’s gonna be a hit. I’m gonna do a video & everything. With Rob Cardboard cut-outs. It’s gonna go viral (it probably would, actually… idea for the “great ideas” notepad…)

So without any new photoshoots to use for Rob-Porn Friday, I chose some images I haven’t seen or used much before (Mostly because I think they’re all manipulations, but whatever.) A few are even from some Rob porn tumblr which further proves we should have copyrighted the term “Rob Porn” LONG ago!

Try try as hard as I may, I can never be as good as the original From F*ckYeahRyanGosling! I mean FOR REAL?? Brilliant!

Happy Friday, Friday!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Follow the Jump(ing) Rob for an oldie but goodie video I had forgotten about:

 

 


Robert Pattinson’s Fantastic Hair Explained… by daterobertpattinson

21 Responses to “Rob Porn Friday (I even wrote a song!)”

  1. misty says:

    For those of you who watched Jersey Shore last night, there was a VF magazine w/ Rob on the cover behind snookie and jwow when they went out for breakfast…did anyone notice???? Haaa!! I did..

    Dear Rob,
    Thanks for making an apperance on Jersey Shore last night…it gave me the BEST dream of you and it’s been wayy too long btw.

    p.s. miss you girls (Southern Bell, RobGirl, Minut, etc.)

    Also…wtf? Marsten?? What have I missed?? That is just brillzzzzzz…who made that Twitter account??? A Genius, that’s who. The TomStu Diary account, also another genius..They deserve a Nobel Peace Prize.

    M.

  2. misty says:

    Dear Rob Pron Friday,
    I’ve missed you almost as must as Saterday Morning Delight….sighhhhh

    xoxo

  3. natteringyeahrobber says:

    Oh Tattward. I need him at my office, sitting in the corner of my cubicle, at the ready. Next time someone sends a giant copy request to the jet-engine loud photocopier next to my desk, I will request that Rob yank the plug right out of the wall (what…a…man) and then stare intimidatingly at the person who sent said request until that person breaks down and cries (because she can never have him as her personal hot thug OR English boyfriend).

    I will take him to meetings, to back me up when I bring up obvious things no one wants to hear. I will have him second my motion to end the meeting 50 minutes early because only the first 5 are ever productive, the rest are just people squabbling and bitching. I will have him make runs to Costco to buy real snacks for our break room, not the disgusting Luna Bars and stale red vines that keep showing up there. I will have him stock the company fridge with wine and beer. I will have him attend yearly management meetings where the partners decide to give themselves raises and bonuses but not the staff….and I will have him kick some serious ass, Kill Bill style (only no killing, just lots of cool kicking and displays of adept fake fighting set to hipster friendly music). Also, Tattward can go to lunch with me, I know lots of cheeseburger and Cobb salad places nearby.

    WANTED: Tattward. In my office. NOW.

    • LatersBaby says:

      And you’re starting your fanfic when, Nat?

      • natteringyeahrobber says:

        Yah, I have a few I need to start. Just never enough time. I don’t know how you do it, what with the non-stop siren call of Twitter.

        1. Charlie and Jessica. The one where *it* finally happens at her 19th birthday party.

        2. Twin Peaks-Forks crossover. The one where Coop figures it out and then disappears into the Cullen basement and is forced to be Renesmee’s nanny.

        3. CorporateThugward. The one where Edward is a consultant who sets up a corporate retreats for all the mortgage industry shysters and Ponzi scheme manipulators and corrupt CEOs in the woods, where he knows the bad vamps to be. Oops. And they come back “reformed”/scared straight. Also the one where he’s my loveable thug at my office.

        Which to start first…just a sec, I just got an email saying I have a new mention on Twitter. :)

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          Heh heh, as for #2 maybe Coop will end up in the Black Lodge…the Jacob Black Lodge. Where he is the chaperone for Renesmee-Jacob dates.

          Coffee time!

    • roslynselene says:

      Lol I thought you typed “Twatward”.

  4. Cazza says:

    Damn, that GQ shoot is the shoot that keeps on giving *thud*……it never gets old.

    x

  5. Kaybvee says:

    NAT! I always liked your Rob as bike messenger scenario-“servicing” the ladies in and around San Franciso (and the East Bay!) To use the Twi vernacular…FU**hawt…

    You were born to write fanfic- I might even read yours, still haven’t gone there…The way you
    have described things such as how Rob’s beanie smells can only bode well for this…

    Signed, KBV (fanfic virgin)

    • natteringyeahrobber says:

      As Jessica walked up the front stairs to the Swan house, she caught a reflection of herself in the large single pane front window. Her brown tweed pencil skirt was a maybe little too short. Her white fine-gauge cotton v-neck sweater was definitely too revealing. This wasn’t her. This had never been her. She didn’t look or feel quite right, she felt like she was in costume. But still, the thought of Charlie answering the door and welcoming her in as he fought off the urge to look at her breasts thrilled her.

      There. Happy now?

      • maggie says:

        Wow, nat: that’s tons better than most fan fic I’ve started and never been able to stay with. I see a bright future for you. Book signings, pulitizer prize(s). Eventually meeting Rob because he’ll of course be wanting to star in the first movie version of one of your ffs – the smuttier the better, let’s hope.

        Need an agent????

        • natteringyeahrobber says:

          LOL, Maggie. You can be my Stephanie and Nick. Just make sure to book my readings at a lot of spas (and don’t tell anyone, I don’t want to ruin my pedicure with annoying fans expecting me to talk to them) and nice restaurants and make sure I am seated in Rob’s lap at all events.

      • MariaCecilia says:

        There can never be too much fanfic in the world, so please put your oar in and contribute! (Not that I am dying to read about Jessica and Charlie in particular, kinda eww if you know what I mean, but hey, everyone is entitled to their fantasy!)

    • stupidshiny says:

      Hey there KBV
      I am a fanfic virgin too – like really haven’t read even one! – and I don’t know where to start…
      Can anyone suggest a good first read?
      Nat you are clearly talented have you written anything?
      Thank you in advance (can’t wait to lose this cherry!)

  6. Kaybvee says:

    Oh and thank you for the Rob porn today ladies…those blue shirt pics with the Robowski hair are some of my faves…

  7. MariaCecilia says:

    Thank you for reminding me of why I am (im)mature enough to need this fix every Friday! Excuse me while I go wipe some drool off my face…and try to think of something Tweed Serious.

  8. Kaybvee says:

    oh! Don’t mind me, just popping in to look at the pics again.

    DYING for a new photoshoot already. Like yesterday.

  9. […] have to wonder if all bloggers think of the same thing at once. Like when I read the post over at LTR today, I was like “UC and Moon, please to be getting out of my head right the fuck […]

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