Rob and the Mystery of the Three Suitcases!

(Remember when I wrote a post using the sad trombone button and every time I told you to HIT IT you were supposed to hit the button? Well same thing here today. Open the HIT IT link in a new window and read away!)

Dear Rob,

Monday you returned HOME to LA (welcome back) and was seen leaving LAX with… three suitcases! HIT IT! Crazy, I know! So clearly since you own like 2 shirts and were wearing your only pair of pants these suitcases couldn’t be for you. The fans (ahem Robsten fans) KNEW it had to be something else. Like something for Kristen Stewart! HIT IT! But she pretty much owns 2 pairs of pants and a shirt so it couldn’t be her clothes, OBVIOUSLY. And as much as we both want to believe Kristen was actually IN one of those suitcases HIT IT unless the other suitcase had some sort of oxygen tank, it’s probably not her. So I’m here to figure out what all those suitcases could be… in (say it in a loud and booming theatrical trailer style voice) Rob and the Mystery of the Three Suitcases! HIT IT!

What could the three suitcases be full of?

1. A years supply of Hobknobs and Marks & Spence Underwears HIT IT!
2. Fish and Chips because Harry Clearwater’s fish fry actually isn’t the best in the world. SHHHHH! HIT IT!
3. The ashes of Patty. He wants to spread them over the Pacific Ocean and the In N Out Drive Thru HIT IT!
4. Being a girl who might actually have and take 3 suitcases worth of clothes to Europe, Ashley Greene blackmailed Rob into taking home hers so she could go on a shopping spree and fill up 3 more suitcases. HIT IT!
5. All of the clothes Claire sat our for charity donation. It’s almost winter here in LA! HIT IT!
6. A little hit of London’s rain and fog (he misses it) HIT IT!
7. His beard trimming system. Gotta keep the facial hair in tip top shape whether it’s heard, goatees, mustaches or chin patches HIT IT!
8. Letters from Dick. Dick decided it was more genteel to send letters the old fashioned way. Then he realized he didn’t have any stamps. HIT IT!
9. Dean bought a lot of Man Jewelry in Europe and couldn’t fit it all in his luggage so Rob offered to use his extra luggage allowance HIT IT!
10. This is part of his book library. He’s decorating his new home and wanted to fill it with his favorite books. HIT IT!
11. Swedish Fish. HIT IT! He got hooked on them while promoting the film in Sweden. Little does he know we totally have those here.
12. Macaroons from La Duree HIT IT! He knows how much I love them and bought back 3 suitcases full. What a good guy!

Since it simply cannot be normal stuff like clothes, personal belongings or stuff from her place here in LA, you know like normal people put in suitcases. The fandom just WON’T allow it, we’re left with guessing and these are the best options. I’ll report back later on what’s actually in there when I go to “visit” later. If he’s anything like me he’ll still have those suitcases in various states of unpacked for months to come.

No baggage here!

PS Is it weird I kinda miss the lopsided toupee heairdo?? Cause I do. HIT IT!

Also, Water for Elephants is out on DVD! Go and getcha some!

So do we think it’s some master conspiracy or is he just bringing back some of his stuff? Why must everything be a mystery?

Thanks Drama Button!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

20 Responses to “Rob and the Mystery of the Three Suitcases!”

  1. ladyofthemeadow says:

    It could be Bear in one of those suitcases. It’s a bitch getting an animal through customs and quarantine these days. So, Rob just took things into his own hands. Bear was okay though, Rob took Bear onboard in one of those massive suitcases. He just had to do an Edward smirk at the check-in agent when he asked special permission to take an oversized suitcase onboard with him. Once the plane was airborne, another smirk and Presto! Bear was allowed to run around the cabin until landing. All was good until Bear ate leftover sandwiches and threw up in the aisle. Another smirk, and it was taken care of by a smitten flight attendant.

    The smirk would work on me anyway.

  2. ladyofthemeadow says:

    My dh once sat next to Christy Turlington and some other supermodels he couldn’t name, on a first class flight from London to Barcelona. His claim to fame. They hardly ate their meals, he noticed. But Rob must be in another category, too famous for regular air travel, right?

    Does Rob always fly in a private jet these days? I mean, we never see fan pics or stories in the tabloids that say, “I SAT NEXT TO ROB FROM LONDON TO LAX!!! SQUEE!!” Must be private jets, right?

    • Jellybeanrainbow says:

      I’m thinking about how Rob flies all the time. But I work for an airline so it’s normal. Right?
      I think he (they) was caught twice, once there were photos of them stuffing bags in overhead compartments, the other time there was a report of some guy complaining about sitting behind those vampire guys and making out and drinking ( and not eating either) all the time. But that was yyyeeeaaarrrsss ago.
      I guess he flies private, but in this case he wouldn’t have to go through security etc…with other people. If you fly private you avoid all airport experience, private aviation usually operates from a special terminal, so where those other ‘Rob’s in LA’ etc. photos are from?
      I guess he flies first class, among business people and old aristocracy people and clueless very rich people who don’t care about movie stars.
      Didn’t I say I think a lot about it?

      • The Old One says:

        My stalkerish studies have figured out that when he’s “working”, going to a premiere or promo or movie shoot, and the travel is presumably paid by the movie studio, he flies commercial and Dean is there. When he’s on his own time, he’s a ninja and flies private, no Dean.

  3. onemoreorless says:

    I´ve seen him taking all these photos at the fan events in Paris, Brussels and Stockholm. This guy holds a camera in almost every picture I saw of him. So in these suitcases are probably some good memories of hot chicks from Europe captured on loads and loads of memorie cards. He´s just excited about this whole BD Premiere thing…who could blame him.

  4. The Old One says:

    Another site suggested it was Tom Sturridge in one of those bags.

    • Susiecueablelovesrob says:

      Noooooooooo, it’s ME – I’m in the middle suitcase (because I need a little more space these days), my stuff is in the bottom suitcase and Robs stuff is in the top one!We were trying to avoid drama but ALAS……..

  5. Edible Art ? says:

    Confession time – it’s me in the bag, and the second bag has my tent !

    I am broke and in desparate need of a holiday so I stowed away with Rob for a free flight, then I am camping in the line for the breaking dawn premiere for 4 nights free accommodation (following all summits rules – won’t see me throwing food about !!!)

    Now how to get home ???

  6. Munkee says:

    I continue to be relieved that someone else had the same damn questions. See you at the funny farm.

  7. LatersBaby says:

    Now that Rob has a house, Clarie and Dick set him up with some comforts from home to decorate his new place. He has some school memorabilia (certificate for his exemplary spelling), an old tea kettle Claire never uses anymore, and a Christmas ornament his aunt had made for him when he was eight. (it has his named etched in it)

    Sadly, with the exception of that old couch he and TomStu bought at the second hand store, and a microwave from WalMart (the Target ones didn’t have the one button Hot Pocket warmer) , the new home was bare.

    Oh, but now… a little slice of English living.

  8. s.kay says:

    the “man jewelry” comment did me in. Thanks!

  9. maggie says:

    Rob: Know that Everything You Do = high drama! Wheel 3 Suitcases an it’s on, baby:

    Bring all your Van Morrison LPs, all of your 12 year old T-shirts and underwear that have been lying on the floor of your closet and that Claire washed, folded and told you, “It’s time to get this stuff out of here, so we can finally convert your room into the den we’ve always wanted, and throw in some assorted cookware (ie – giant stacks of paper cups and plates) and maybe some old sheet music and books, and sit back and watch while the paps fall all over themselves, twitter blows up and nonstens and robstens try to kill each other.

    “The Mystery of the 3 suitcases.” It doesn’t get more intriguing that that.

    Great, hilarious post. And btw, I’ll be the other drunk fan at LA Live, hanging on to latersbaby so I don’t get lost and start freaking out.

    • LatersBaby says:

      That’s right, darling. I got you. You can’t get lost, I’m bringing our buddy system leash.

      • Kaybvee says:

        Right there with you guys! And (hopefully) drunk.

      • maggie says:

        We can have a leash! Yeay! Bring on the liquor!

        Hope to meet you there, Kaybvee.

        And, off topic, ladies: Rfm and I saw Rob film Jimmy Kimmel tonight. Set your recorders for 11/9. If they don’t cut it, it’s his best and most outrageous interview ever. Totally without filter! Classic Rob, only better! I still can’t believe I saw him. He is SO beyond beautiful. Dick and Claire were there and I was thinking about how I wrote something silly about her earlier today. (Sorry, Claire!) I was also mezmerized by his wonky feet. They won’t make it on camera, but he had them all wonked up during the whole interview. I love this man!! Oh, and P.S. – if you read anywhere that he talked about being “stoned” in Sweden, he was talking about rocks being thrown at him.

        • Kaybvee says:

          Ack! You went to Kimmel? Beyond jealous! Did you get a pic?!?!?

          • maggie says:

            No, unfortunately. We were inside at the taping. No cameras allowed. We felt a little bad when we saw that he took pictures/signed autographs outside afterwards, but you couldn’t do both, so we got over it and decided we should just be feeling happy and fortunate that we were able to get into the show and see the interview.

            Next time, the alley. Hopefully by a dumpster!

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