Breaking it down: Cosmopolis – Wait, what did we just watch?
UC and I waited ALL day to watch the Cosmopolis trailer/teaser together and well 34 seconds later here’s what happened…
The one where we’re super confused
Moon: wait its only 34 seconds???
UC: First I have to be honest, I know VERy little about this film except that Paul Giamatti is in it and it takes place in a limo which means I expect Hot Church Bass-like limo sex and he’s in the limo because
UC: is this modern day? I’m so confused already
i haven’t understood a single mumble
Moon: um im pretty sure i just saw that womans nipple!!!
Moon: did he just shoot his hand
wtf is going on?!
Moon: is that a knife in the eye?!
UC: I thought this was a movie about the stock market crash during a limo ride? where he gets syphllis
Moon: dude i liked this movie when it was called DRIVE with Ryan Gosling
omg SAME feel
same bumpin music
Moon: wow… im watching that again
UC: who is the girl he effs? Rosario?
Moon: im so confused
UC: me too
Moon: DUDE that womans vajay is in a shadow just barely
like NOT edward sex noises
there’s like vajay
so he has a lot of sex “so me something i don’t know”
Moon: why is paul giamatti watching him blow his hand off?! with a towel on
UC: THAT is paul?
Moon: yes…i have the best screenshot ever
The one with the most amazing screenshot ever
UC: so he’s a rich kid Chuck Bass-like… who wants to FEEL so he shoots himself in the hand. and asks Paul G. to take off his towel that’s basically what i got
Moon: OMG just just pause and play and you get amazing shots of weird shit.
Moon: i got one of him peeing IN the limo
UC: WHAT? that’s amazing
Moon: YES. so at the end is the limo declared a hazmat situation?
I think so
Moon: pee and sex fluids and sweat and who knows
UC: looks like the mom from everybody loves raymond is the 2nd girl he effs
UC: from his old pal from France
Moon: wait there are rat men?>??!
do we find out at the end of the movie he’s really just been on an acid trip??
UC: i thought they were dinosaurs at first…
and yes… I’m guessing
or it was all a dream
i mean.. maybe he’s ALSO on an acid trip in the limo. PEEING.
The one where we still can’t figure it out
Moon: dude. what is going on???
UC: now he’s doggy styling raymond’s wife
is HE cutting out the eye?
Moon: DUDE he’s doing DEBRA?!
YES i mean… it sure looks like her in this teaser. I assume that buttoned up blonde woman is the one who is gonna “show him something he doesn’t know” which is… a woman who wears underwear in the daytime a woman without an STD? a woman with normal sized nipples?
Moon: and wasnt married to raymond
UC: wasnt on one of the most popular shows of the late 90s? haha. she’s gonna shows him how to study hard at law school?
Moon: shes gonna nag him about putting up his dirty socks and doris roberts is gonna walk in with the old grandpa and complains about Debra’s cooking.
The one where… WHAT IS THIS?!
Moon: dude what did we just watch??
UC: I dunno but… I mean its different and like… a totally different audience… i mean… this might work? could this WORK for him?
Moon:i sure hope so i mean based on what i heard from my NON twilight friends im crossing my fingers for him but like really he shot himself in the hand
UC: right that’s gross and that eye
me: so DRIVE. it looks like drive meets social network meets everybody loves raymond.
UC: i mean.. this is TOTALLY not the kind of movie I’d like to see. ALSO i never saw Drive so stop that
Moon:drive is the best
Ok, so this is obviously a post with some of the craziest images/screencaps we’ve ever had and that’s saying something. I’m really interested to see this because of how crazy it looks.
A rat/A dinosaur/A nipple/A limo?
Moon and UC
What did you think of this? Does this make any kinds of sense to any one or are you just in it for him doing Everybody Loves Raymond’s wife?