Where do we sign, Rob?
Been awhile? Pause the ads. They stop. PROMISE
I saw some pictures of you on a surf board accompanied by an oar. I did think it was just a little odd that there was not another single soul in sight; but hey maybe you bought an island or something. And since I’m still in utter denial over this “Robsten thing” I’ve had to resort to “back in the day” Rob stuff.
My ONLY girlfriend in real life who (sort of understands my twisted obsession with you) asked me an interesting question. What music would be playing if you and I were hanging out? I figured I would answer the obvious (but did it oh so non-nonchalantly of course) “Pffft, Heavy Blues, DUH” And I looked at her all “you’re so not in my Rob Circle” way.
Then today I was listening to you on the Twilight soundtrack.. (yes it’s a daily thing don’t judge) And Rob, this is some crazy shit right here…but I recognized that I was singing along and actually saying the right words. As you well know Rob, this can only be accomplished by the truly Robsessed. Which leaves me to a bit of constructive cristsm.. I honestly can’t remember what my first reaction was when I heard you sing for the first time Rob. However the fact that I could only understand 1 out of every 5 words rings in my mind crystal clear. [UC NOTE: Yep. We call that “the Mumbles”
I WANTED to understand. So, like everyone else, I stopped and re-winded and stopped and re-winded my CD player and listened with the volume turned all the way up… then stopped and re-winded. BUT.. fast-forward to present day and I’m all kinds of pissed off when my non-twihard friends (that would be everyone except the ONE I mentioned earlier) can’t understand you singing. What can I say? I’m seasoned I guess.
Anyhoo, it took me a few months before I even knew you were the voice behind “Let Me SIgn” Now don’t get offended here Rob. That song is a monster to understand and it’s only 2 minutes long! Why is it that you mumble 5,6,10 words in a row and then sing one that is understood? My God Rob, Is it possible that there is a person in the fandom that DOESN’T KNOW??
Well never fear Rob, because I’ve come to a perfectly acceptable conclusion. I’ve decided that since you are playing whatever instrument that goes along with the song (in this case acoustic guitar) you’re so passionate that the words just flow like that. Simple isn’t it? And really who cares because you know we’re all going to listen to it until we understand every word (or at least google it and read along..And yes, we’ve ALL done that too.) Nobody has been able to catch every song with virgin ears.. NOBODY.
Is there a point? Of course.. and although it’s been overkilled by my ranting, I want to change my answer to: I would be listening to whatever your playing on the guitar and listening to your unrecognizable words. Because the truth is, I really don’t care, I like it all. awwwww… I know you’re blushing right now.
BUT…just in case you ever decide to polish up on your musical talent.
Here are the lyrics to Let Me SIgn:
She was standing there by the broken tree
Her hands were all twisted she was pointing at me
I was damned by the light coming out of her eyes
She spoke with a voice that disrupted the sky
She said ‘Come on over to the bitter shade,
I will wrap you in my arms and you’ll know you’ve been saved’
Let me sign, let me sign
I found the link on you tube for a little memory refresher..
Okay and Rob, here’s what I hear:
By, Broken tree, hands are all twisted,
She’s pointin at me. I”ll stand by light comin
All I see spoken a voicen struct to the sky.
She said roll oh over yeah ta pillow shade.
I will wrap you in my on and on..
let me sign..
let me sign..
I bet if everyone at LTR listened to this song and read my lyrics you would all be like.. DA-FUK?? It’s spot on.
That’s all Rob… Didn’t want you to think I forgot about you over here.
After the Jumping Rob.. we have something special and NSFW
I made Moon this for her upcoming birthday (no I didn’t):
And then Brookelockart & I had to break it down
Brookelockart: is she holding is wiener in this?
UC: yes. or a baby bottle. which is what she made his wiener look like
Brookelockart: She really needs to make up her mind, “i want to ride Rob, this way, and that way, oh and that way, and this way and oh, oh, oh, oh THAT WAY” “oh and then it to be secretly filmed so I can grin at the camera”
UC: omg it’s so gross! like.. a stick figure is grossing me out! (I need to watch Vampire Dairies again to get un grossed out. OMG PAUSE FOR A MOMENT TO FANGIRL WITH ME ABOUT THAT!) and WHY does his wee wee look like a baby bottle? Why does it have STRIPES?
Brookelockart: why must people violate him? it’s a cartoon rape fantasy!!!
UC: Ohhh you just got deep. and if you’re gonna violate him in a cartoon rape fantasy, can’t you fantasize a … less blue penis?
Brookelockart: Or make it GIGANTIC and less chode-like?
UC: she fantasized herself pretty damn flexible though. that’s nice
Brookelockart: and she serviced him. that was nice too
UC: also… is she wearing red socks? to match her red hair? and maybe a red garter?
Brookelockart: or a fire crotch.
UC: Ah… makes sense. so following that logic, those red socks mean she has red hairy feet… this really IS a fantasy then, huh? Rob would NEVER let a stick figure with red hairy feet service him
Brookelockart: But a stick figure without red hairy feet?
UC: Sure! Who wouldn’t?
Admit it. You’ve missed offensive things on LTR. Ps: WHO MADE THIS????
Love, UC (and Brookie and Moonie who sent that to us)