Moon found this gem of a picture over on a Tumblr account yesterday with the caption:
I wonder if Robert Pattinson ever wonders about his life
I’ll give you a few days minutes to fully appreciate the above portrait of what your life could be. Look at your potential child. Plan what you’re going to do with this collage burn it like blow it up and have it printed on a big canvas to hang above THE fireplace (You know the one)
Now let’s talk: do you? Wonder about your life? Do you sit around and think about how this stuff is out there? Does it even phase you that it exists? Has anyone TOLD you that it exists?
Picture this: It’s a boring Saturday. There’s nothing on TV and you can’t figure out how to work that “video game machine” in your rental house. What do you do? Do you break out the ipad & Google yourself? Even though last time you did it you swore you never would again? Does life ever get that boring (Or do you ever get THAT drunk? Or- what I would do if I were him- does TomStu ever change your laptop background to one of these fan made gems?) If so, what do you think? Anything? What comes to mind? Is it “normal” at this point? Or can you still not believe that this happened… to you?
Do you ever actually open any of the fan mail you get? If you do, what do you think when you’re handed a replica of your very favorite, holey shirt. Does that scare that shit out of you or are you happy because now you can throw out the old shirt that really wasn’t ridding itself of its musty scent, no matter how many times you washed it? What about when your manager hands you a gift from a fan & you open it and it is all your favorite snacks & a 6 pack of your favorite beer? Are you excited because your fridge is a barren wasteland most of the time & you can finally go to bed full tonight? Or are you creeped out because how do they remember?
Do you even ask your parents what they’ve been up to anymore? Or do you fear that everytime you do your dad is going to regail you of stories of “a nice young girl” who recently stopped by & dropped flowers off at the house? Or how Claire “just happened” to receive a box of her favorite chocolates in the mail. Or what if Dick tells you you moved out right at the wrong time because a bunch of “nice girls your age” have been hanging around near the house and they never did before? Does it phase you?
And do you have to think twice before you text a friend a dirty joke knowing that it’s possible someone has hacked into your phone, looked at your personal pictures & sees everything you search for or do (mainly the menu item “HOW TO USE THE JITTERBUG PHONE)? And getting back to that boring Saturday, what if you want to watch PORN but fear that someone guessed your wireless password (Patty), turned on your web cam & is watching you at this very moment?
Do you ever pick up a magazine while you’re in line checking out at Maxwell’s Market in Baton Rouge and read an article about how you like to shop at Maxwell’s Market and look around to see whose watching you. and since they wrote “so one can only hope he picked up some items to cook her [Kristen] a romantic dinner!” you suddenly feel self conscious because all that is in your basket is a pack of Twizzlers, some bottled water & string cheese. So you put the items back & walk out. Because you can’t even grocery shop without an audience. And someone asks you to sign their reusable Maxwell’s Market bag on the way out the door….
Rob, what do you think about your life? Sure you’re famous, and it comes with the territory. But do the gobs of money being thrown at you make it worth it (I’m going to go with NO since it seems the only thing you spend money on is processed food & guitars. Take a trip! buy a boat! Fly to a remote place where paparazzi leaves celebs alone (it’s possible). Unless you live in a cave where you get little to no contact (and that’s kinda true) you have to know that some of this exists. And I can laugh (and I do) and make light of it (and write you letters about it) and discuss it with my pals, but at the end of the day, you are an actual person- not just a figment of my imagination- and these things actually happen to you….. so … do you wonder? Do you even think about it? Does it phase you…? I want to know…. (and so I’ll wait until the next time you google yourself & find these questions. In the meantime I’ll just be photoshopping Mr. Choice out & you into my wedding pictures. I also have a pregnant cousin who I kinda resemble. I think with my face & her body, it could be the spiting image of our possible future together as mommy & daddy….)
What do you think? When Rob is confronted with the crazy aspects of his fame, what DOES he think!?