The end is here. We’re here for you Rob

Dear Rob,

We heard the news. And we’ve been preparing for years as we figured one day this would come (but to be honest… we kinda figured you’d mess it up instead of she-who-should-not-be-named (we’ll call her that in case hearing her name is too hard. Also because you were in Harry Potter)) So last night we broke the glass on the Break Up Kit. And we’re excited to share what is inside:

Gosh I miss 2009

First: of course there’s a Hot Pocket Fort. Big enough for the 3 of us complete with a small microwave– a necessity for what’s next on the list

The entire stock of Costco’s Hot Pocket Freezer. We bought them back in ‘2009 but those bad boys have enough preservatives to get us through 2015

There’s a KEG of Heineken chillen’ in my beer fridge. Sad times call for much more than a case of beer can ever do.

The Brit pack are here with their guitars tuned and voices warmed ready to serenade you with whatever you want. (Yep, they’re in our Break up Kit) Looking for something upbeat? Marcus is on it. How about an ol’ Bob Dylan tune? Bobby’s got you covered. And Sam’s even brushed up on the DMB catalog in case things get really rough.

Next up is a stack of print outs from since we know you much you love them (and haven’t had access for a few years)

Michael Oregano’s phone # in case you want to swap stories.

She’s ready for you

In case you want to get dangerous to numb the pain, we’ve even got Tiffanized on speed dial. You’ll remember her as Rob’s M.O.M (Match of the Month back from February 2010) No one could ever forget the sexy woman who posed for you like this <—-

And of course there’s us: UC & Moon, Noreen & Bunny… the girls there to dry your eyes. We’ll let you call us whatever you want because this is our day to celebrate YOUR DAY. And we’re here for whatever your needs are. That’s right– vegetarian for 12 years, but I’ll even try the Pepperoni hot pocket. Cat lover at heart but I’ll walk Bear. Can’t understand a word you say when you sing, but I’ll sing a long to the new song you wrote.

Really. Whatever. You. Need

Hang in there,
UnintendedChoice (with theMoonisDown)

PS: Rob we have some chloraseptic… you know what that’s for


161 Commented

Dear Rob Please Don’t Look like This at Comic Con

Dear Rob,

It’s always so suspenseful: WILL HE OR WON’T HE? (Look like a complete idiot) or HOT OR NOT. Or rather ALWAYS HOT BUT REALLY MAKING ME QUESTION THE “ALWAYS” PART OF THAT STATEMENT RIGHT NOW.

What will you look like today at Comic Con? What WILL you wear?

Let’s hope it’s not like 2011:

Someone’s high


Even you are questioning your hair choice here

I’d take 2009 Comic Con Rob with your scared puppy dog look & flannel shirt, even though the floppy head of hair isn’t my first choice of hair for you (I’m picky after all these years)


Uhhh yum

But mostly I’d just prefer one of these Robs:

and especially GQ Rob:

WHICH ROB WILL WE GET!? Can’t wait to see!


Has GQ REALLY not done a new photoshoot with Rob since my favorite of all time? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM!? 

Moon is at Comic Con, y’all– Make sure you’re following us on Twitter for all the good news.

10 Commented

It’s time to find out how Normal you are: That’s Normal is here.

Dear Rob,

Are you like us? Is the internet more than just a place to Google where your Britpack friends are since they’re not returning your calls or find the best Robsten fan videos so you can send them to your sisters to gross them out? Yea, us too. Don’t get us wrong, we LOVE a good sepia toned video of TRUE love as much as the next Twi fan but we also love pondering the relationship status of Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes or discussing the how awesome/awful Hannah from Girls is and of course there’s nothing like Googling awful Games of Thrones fan art.

I know. We just said “Game of Thrones” which you have to know by now has hunky, young guys such as yourself that girls are now dreaming about. Yep. Competition. And you thought your only worry these days was Channing’s ass in Magic Mike.

Well, the time has come. Many have been asking.. and many have not been asking. No, we’re not talking about UC and Moon’s civil union ceremony.  We’re talking about our latest blogging venture. It’s called That’s Normal because as we’ve come to find out over the last almost 4 years (!!!) nothing we do is ever normal but we found people out there (YOU!) who like the same bizarro crap we do. So because of that and because we have so much more to talk about than just you, Rob, we are happy/excited/scared/ecstatic to announce our new blog –

That’s Normal!

Yup, you know why we chose that name, it all started here. That’s Normal is full of the same stuff you’ve come to love here at LTR and LTT but now we’re branching out into everything! TV, film, books, weird stuff on the interwebs, why that Carly Rae Jenson song is infectious and so annoying at the same time and pretty much everything else we find interesting.

We’re currently in the construction phase of the brand spanking new blog but you can find a taste of what’s to come over at our Tumblr.
Follow That’s Normal on Twitter
Like us on Facebook
Circle us on Google+

Does this mean the death of LTR?? HALE to the nah. We still love you, Rob. But we’ve missed talking about super relevant stuff– and you ARE relevant…don’t get us wrong.. but just not as often as you were before. So we’ll talk about you when we feel like it (our mantra for the last year+!) and also talk about Channing Tatum’s ass over at TN when we feel like THAT.

We hope you’ll join us as we roll out this new chapter in blogging because we love ya so much and we knew we just couldn’t quit you!

That’s Normal (duh),
Moon & UC

9 Commented

Posted in: LTR
Tags: , , ,

Still waiting on Rob: Is Rob Pattinson doomed to fail?

Guys: I read this letter & literally did a FIST PUMP. It’s like she climbed into my head and made my fingers type on a typewriter (I like to assume that’s what good writers write with) and say all these very eloquent things. THIS THIS THIS! (Warning: Some of  you will not agree)

Dear Rob,

RIP Pattz? He looks alive to me….

It seems that in recent days, you’ve found your way into the middle of a media firestorm (although admittedly, that’s a very dramatic term) regarding the state of your career these days. There was that first article that came out from the Daily Mail. While they finally granted your request to get rid of the “RPattz” nickname, they alluded to the fact that you’ve been given a new one. It’s not too nice. RIP-Pattz. Yikes. Then there was the rebuttal from a more reputable film rag, which your devoted fansites picked up and ran with. The author protested the idea that your career has been sent to an early grave, and contended you haven’t had the proper opportunity to bring in the big bucks separate and apart from the Twilight franchise.

To be perfectly honest, Rob, I have an issue with both articles, and let me tell you why…

Rewind to the summer of 2009. I was in the hot and heavy grips of a full-blown Robsession, and my husband was at the height of his annoyance with the whole matter. He claimed I didn’t truly have any acclaim for you as an actor, and if you weren’t playing Edward Cullen, I wouldn’t look twice at you anyway. He stated, with certainty, that your career would go nowhere past Twilight, and in five years, everyone would have forgotten about you. You were just another pretty boy in passing.

I was incensed. Heaven forbid ANYONE spew such negativity about Edw-, I mean, Robert Pattinson, let alone my nearest and dearest. I tried to fight back. I tried to tell him it wasn’t just about Twilight, that you seemed like a genuine, interesting guy with a whole lot of potential. It wasn’t fair to write you off simply because you’d quickly collected a large and horny fanbase ranging in ages from 11 to 65. Didn’t he remember Leo-mania circa 1997?!?! I said it was simply too soon to tell. I wasn’t ready to call you a legend just because you did Edward Cullen’s blank stare and charcoal peacoat such justice. I believed that time would tell. And I stood there, with full confidence in my heart, that you would prove him wrong. You would step out of Edward’s shadow and his Volvo, and go on to do great things. Just like Leo.


Three years later…I’m just about ready to bow my head in defeat and concede the argument to my husband. Something I am LOATHE to do, for the record. (Please don’t make me do it, Rob – I hate letting him win!) Now mind you, I did enjoy Remember Me, although I remember something you said in one interview about how the screenwriter incorporated several of your personal habits and mannerisms into the character. I couldn’t help but think at times I was merely watching “what Rob would really be like as a college guy” rather than the portrayal of a unique character separate and apart from that. Then there was Water For Elephants. This! This will do the trick, I thought. Oscar-winning cast, NY Times best-selling book… what could go wrong? Well…I’m not really sure, but something did. There was too much of your gee-shucks smiling and over reliance on facial expressions. You were upstaged by a sadistic animal abuser, for crying out loud. And there was the lack of chemistry. There’s been comments about onscreen chemistry before, dating back to Eclipse, when several fans/reviewers expressed the opinion that the chemistry between Bella and Jacob was hotter than the chemistry between Bella and Edward. Ummm, Eclipse contains the LEG HITCH scene, Rob!!! How could Jacob possibly beat you??? Especially since by that point we’d all essentially accepted you were hitchin’ that leg in real life, and there should be plenty o’chemistry to translate onscreen. I wonder, I do.

“You don’t want to me ME in the 1800s finest?”

And now we have Bel Ami and Cosmopolis. I have absolutely no plans to go see them. I just have no interest, Rob. I’m all about indie flicks and little known stories getting some press, but NOTHING that I have seen has sold these movies to me, nothing has sparked even the tiniest bit of interest. And this is coming from someone who once hit “Refresh” for about two hours on end just waiting for the moment you simply WALKED onto the stage of Comicon.

So now let me get back to the issue I have with these recent articles. My problem is the focus they put on your ability to make a buck. That’s all Twilight was about, in the end, right? Low budget flick turned box office gold, with your smoldering glances and stunning jawline at the helm. But to us, your once die-hard fans…that’s not what it was about at all. Ultimately, that’s never what it’s about when it comes to the fans of movies…or books…or music. It’s not about a work of art being a best-seller, and making enough movie to cover the costs that went into generating it.

It’s about inspiring passion in us. It’s about making us care.

I’m sorry, but none of your roles to date, and none of the ones on the horizon, have really made me care. (Again, sorry.) I don’t know if it’s poor movie choice, or mediocre acting, or what. But I know I’m left being forced to consider if my husband was actually right, and the only reason I felt so passionate about you after Twilight was because I was passionate about Edward Cullen and the Twilight story to begin with. I do not say this easily and I do not take this lightly. And I am most certainly not criticizing you. I am frustrated with you, because I still see traces of that genuinely interesting guy, and I would LOVE to see him be successful. I do not want you to end up characterized as a pretty boy in passing, playing the Ryan Phillipe to Reese. (Catch the comparison?) You do not need to have a box office commercial smash to accomplish this, in my opinion. Just make me care. Case in point, Like Crazy. It was just a simple little love story that received little press, but was awesome enough to take top honors at Sundance. Because the actors brought the characters to life and told a story that made me cry. Good movies have nothing to do with facts and figures, and I would love to see you acting well in a good movie. So I’m sorry BOTH articles reduced the argument to a monetary one, because trust me, as an old die hard fan of yours, it has absolutely nothing to do with that.

Make me care. Make me feel. Prove them wrong.

I still believe you can do it…it would just be easier if you were giving me something to work with here.

I hope my honesty is helpful and not hurtful, Rob. Because I’ve always been a fan and definitely still consider myself one.

With Respect,
Still Waiting on You…

SO…. what do you think? Agree? Disagree? Did she read your mind? Do you think Rob’s films HAVE been great? Will the critics ever like him?

Oh… before we forget… we just need to remind you… TN is coming….

45 Commented

Posted in: Fan letter, Rob
Tags: , ,

Rob’s bodyguard, Dean, is cheating on him

Dear Dean the bodyguard,

We received a frantic* e-mail from Bea this morning that said:

Not only do I think of Twilight every time I pass an Olive Garden, but I go to look at pictures of Jennifer Aniston violating the Vatican dress code and recognize the bodyguard. “Hey, Dean’s in Rome!” And, sadly, that’s more interesting to me than Jen’s knees.

 And as interesting as it is that the Vatican let Jennifer get away with knees showing & nipples pointing, (check out these pics) it was interesting to me to learn that you are also guarding Jennifer Aniston. I mean…. aren’t there any other big dudes in LA that Jen can use? Is this a new thing? Did Rob steal YOU from Jennifer? Did you have to arm wrestle her boyfriend at a job interview?

And how in the world does someone have time to be a bodyguard to both Rob AND J Aniston? Does this mean Rob is on a long vacation in a truly private vacation spot, and you were relieved for a few weeks? Did he hitch a ride up to the space station when Dragon went to deliver supplies to the space station recently? (<– Look at me. Hip on current news)

How does Jen compare to Rob? I bet the snacks are healthier. Does she really drink Smart Water that often? Are the fans crazier? Ever encounter a crazy fan trying to hit her with a fake Angelina leg? Does she even let you drink beer or eat anything over 425 calories?

Does Rob ask details after you’re back serving him? Do you call it “serving?” Do you feel comradery with Carson the Butler on Downton Abbey? Do you ever accidentally refer to it as “servicing him” when talking to Kristen & she shoots you a dirty look while you & Rob crack up? Was Rob happy with the ending on Friends? Was he rooting for Ross & Rachel all along? How pissed was he when they named their TV daughter Emma, taking a gorgeous old-fashioned name & guaranteeing that everyone born after 1998 will have at least 57 Emma’s in their graduating class?

These are important questions, Dean.




*Bea wasn’t frantic at all. But clearly I am. Or I had too much coffee. Or I just really miss Friends. That’s it. I’m starting at Season 1 tonight & will watch all 10 years all over. I’ll let you know how it goes. SEVEN

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