Blind Items and Europe are my favorite past time

I do Blind Items instead of crosswords or Suduko

Dear Rob,

I’ve been saying all week how much I loooooove European Rob (minus the goatee). You look great traipsing up and down red carpets in Paris (oh la la I miss it) and Brussels all relaxed like with a one Miss Ashley Greene. Now either the unpasteurized cheese in France has given you a new lease on life or the fizzy water and architecture are doing wonders for you or somethings up. You just have a certain ohhhh I don’t know je ne sais quoi about you this week.

But wouldn’t you know it whilst I was perusing this Blind Item I was sent I came across this little gem… and suddenly I got it…

Blind Item-
“I feel like Ted “Twilight” Casablanca with this one. Seriously, I am surprised he does not have Twilight tattooed on his chest. Anyway, back in the day when the franchise first started filming, this actor was hooking up with this actress who played his sister. Well, what was not known at the time by that actress was that he was also hooking up with another of his sisters who we will call sister #2. Sister #1 disappeared from the picture at some point, but despite everything that has gone on with our actor and another actress from the movie, he keeps going back to sister #2. Apparently they got noise complaints last night in a European hotel because they were so loud in bed.”

So wait, am I brother 1 and you're sister 2? Is this like Sisterwives?

YOWZZZAA! Now, you know as much as I do that we were all doing Twilight math in our heads as we read that one…Cullen brother in Europe… Kellan is off in Indonesia somewhere, Jacky is in LA doing whatever he does… sister #1 disappeared off the scene… sister #2 in Europe… brother involved with another actress from the movie… Brother and Sister #2 both in Europe… WELL WELL… HMMMMM Well yes, I think we have a winner here.

Yea, yea we all know this is a blind item and you have an epic-secret-maybe not- maybe so love affair with you know who but I’d just like to remind you to keep that ish bagged up cause the last thing either of you need to do is add a visit to the free clinic to your calendar. Monday: 10AM: Press junket Noon: Lunch with Agent 12:30PM Try to scratch under table clothe to not draw attention to downstairs “issues” 1PM press event with cast 2:30PM Phoner with Ryan Seacrest 3PM Penicillin shot at the Melrose Free Clinic 4PM Tea with director of next possible film 430PM Another nondiscript scratch opportunity 5PM Tape Conan. UM NO. I’m gonna go ahead and say we’re all adults here (god I hope so) so you can do whatever floats your boat but need I remind you of this handy chart and reminder of what could be… courtesy of everyone’s favorite Uni or High School health office…

Click to enlarge this and scare yourself

Oh look it's the Sexual Exposure Chart! The WHHAA??

Yes, the ol Sexual Exposure Chart! If we take into account just the numbers from the blind item we’re already getting into inkblot/blurrly little people catagory on this thing. Ok, all I’m saying is you could have (allegedly) slept with a Jonas Brother and Anna Lynne McCord and Rachel Even Wood. I’M JUST SAYING. Keep it safe, keep it simple and good on you.

And thus I’d like to bestow upon you my most favorite (and maybe) aptly name celeb couple: RASHLEY!

May you live long and prosper (in the gossip rags)

PS is it awkward for Ashley to stand next to that huge poster of Edward and Bella? Weird.

It’s a blind item! Have some fun! Truth or no truth, finally we’re getting some dirt. And what’s not to love about relaxed top button undone European Rob??? NOTHING! (minus the goatee)

Source: Crazy Days and Nights

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