Rob has a ‘situation’ with a Porta Potty

The one who smelt it, dealt it!

Dear Rob,

News out of Brasil is fast and furious and it’s hard to figure out what’s true and what’s real and… ok, which picture is the best. We picked our faves the other day on LTT so I guess it’s time to tackle my favorite news item from Breaking Dawn filming:

Torched Toliet in Twilight Protest

Besides the awesome alliteration the news source used in the title, it’s really just gold. I laughed a LOOOONG time after reading it. So, in the post they say that because some of the Lapa Locals got annoyed at the inconvenience the filming caused them, they decided to torch a crew toliet. These people so wouldn’t last a day in Los Angeles.

Regardless of this all I have to say is: BUSTED!

You thought after taco day on set you could get away with using the crew porta potty and no one would be the wiser. You would have been in the clear if you hadn’t decided to try out that ‘totally awesome trick’ you saw in Jackass, and lit your farts to see what would happen. Spoiler Alert: you burned down a Brasilian porta potty. Instead of seeing the blue flame you almost passed out from the noxious flumes (hint: it smells like stale Heineken and the inside of Goodwill) but thankfully a kind old Brasilian grandma named Luisa noticed the smoke and knew EXACTLY what was going on (grandsons) and pulled you out before you were engulfed in flames.

You almost died from lighting your own farts on fire in a Brasilian porta potty between takes and you get your people to blame it on the locals? For shame Rob, at least own up to it or tell the crew you were taping a segment of Justin Bieber’s new version of Punk’d and it went horribly horribly wrong. Next time save this for when you’re home in Dick and Clare’s basement with Tom Stu on another three day video game bender. At least they have a fire extinguisher for emergencies. Or stupid stunts their son does that go very wrong.

Can’t believe I talked about farts,

So what really happened with the burned down Porta Potty? Who could really be that mad that Breaking Dawn is filming in their neighborhood? Think of all the money they’d make selling stuff to the Twicrazies camping out waiting for just a glimpse of the magicness!


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117 Commented

I write Rob about Kellan

Dear Rob,

I was all ready to write something about you being in Brazil on speed boats with your Edward hair, standing on balconies, looking through windows and walking through airports but then I saw a news piece where Kellan Lutz called you “mind blowing” and I clicked over to read hoping I could make fun of you both or call you le ghey in a future post  until I saw this picture

and I changed my mind about everything and this entire post. So here’s what I really want to say…

Dear Rob,

Why can’t you be more like Kellan?

Ok… so I know you’re confused and wondering why I’m not ribbing you or fawning over a photo of you in Brasil. I just can’t right now. It’s that picture up there. It’s not Kellan man chesticles or his weird leather tie or his ‘is that thinning’ hair?, that made me stop, it’s his necklace. The whistle necklace, because when I saw him wearing it, I knew HE KNEW. He was wearing a Falling Whistles necklace. What’s a Falling Whistles necklace you ask? Welll….

Falling Whistles gives a small window into our world’s largest war. Originally just a journal written about boys sent to the frontlines of war armed with only a whistle, readers forwarded it with the same kind of urgency in which it was written and demanded to know –

what can we do?

The Falling Whistles campaign launched with a simple response – make their weapon your voice and be a whistleblower for peace in Congo. Read the story and buy the whistle. Proceeds go to rehabilitate and advocate for war-affected children. Share their story and speak up for them.

Needless to say it’s an amazing, amazing cause AND an awesomely fashionably accessory with a deeper meaning. And it just makes me love Kellan even more that he knows about Falling Whistles. I also love how Kellan uses his Twitter and celebrity to help raise awareness for many great causes. AND it makes me think of you, Rob. You helped out with the Haiti telethon and I heard you may have become involved with the World Wildlife Foundation after shooting Water for Elephants but I think there’s something to be said for being more vocal and active with causes that need to have some light shed on them and maybe that’s why I’m writing you and asking you to be more like Kellan. Well, minus the  because imagine if you were hot and played Edward AND loved good causes??? You’d be even more unstoppable, like I would just give up cause that’d toooo much goodness.

So could you think about being like Kellan?


PS Thanks for showing up in Brasil and I swear we’ll start talking about it but for now you understand

Ok, so I wouldn’t normally commandeer LTR for philanthropic reasons but I just couldn’t get over it and wanted to share the great story of Falling Whistles with you all cause I know you all have big hearts and would love it. Go visit their site, watch the video and read their story, it’s truly amazing. Trust. Oh and there’s a TON of Rob stuff from Brasil I’m weeding through. UC and I will hit that next time.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

159 Commented

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