Rob is creepin me out but then totally redeems himself!

Dear Rob,

Because we need to break down those pictures of you on the Water for Elephants reshoots but because we’ve both exhausted from work and couldn’t discuss yesterday and because we love creepy stuff and we’ll get to you in WFE NEXT TIME I present to you… the creepiest NEW stuff I could find of you…


Woah! You’ve never done mid sentence pictures well, I mean who does? But still take a cue from Julia Roberts she talks through her smile… or maybe just comb your hair down a little…


I titled this picture “wide mouth” for a reason… I mean you might be able to deep throat that microphone if some awesome reporter/LTR reader pushed it up just like 3 inches. BUT REALLY what’s more shocking, the diameter of that mouth or how frozen Vanessa Williams fiveforehead is?!


Multiple angles of this horrid ILL FITTING velvet jacket. Sure, I’m happy to blame this on age and stupidity, we know this is from the Harry Potter premiere


Now there are some cute Rob wallpapers out there and all but this scares me, it’s something about that american flag mouth and the tongue and the Texas tuxedo Rob’s wearing the the quote… WHAT in the hale is going on here?!


Rob hungry, Rob want braaaaaiiinnsssss

Ok, ok so you creeped me out a bit but dude you SOOO made up for it with these……….

AND


DUUUUUDE you and Andrew Garfield?? Yes. Just yes. ALWAYS yes.

And we promise we’ll get to your WFE stuff soon. Hopefully.
Themoonisdown

Aren’t these super creepy? But dude AGarf (my new name for him)?! Anyone else excited for the Spiderman reboot with him? I am! Now if only we could have gotten TomStu in the middle there… awww perfect world…

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Inside the Robsten love lair

Right this way to the pantry...

Dear Rob,

I have jetlag… still. I find myself not being able to sleep till 4 or 5 in the morning then waking up at 8 then crashing out again around 2PM. I’m currently fighting to keep my eyes open and it’s 8PM. This sucks… bad. I can only imagine if you live with this all the time, but you probably never really get used to any schedule because you’re in and out so much. So you can imagine my lack of enthusiasm for anything these days much less the circus that is your life what with all the hoopla surrounding this whole Robsten debacle.

So when UC sent me a link to some creepo arial paparazzi photos and photos that someone probably got from the rental website where this place is listed of where you and Kristen are supposedly staying,  I clicked on it hoping to see TomStu hanging out in the bushes near you guys installing a satellite dish or setting up a wading pool in the backyard (LA chic yall!), you know just about anything you can do together without including him.

What I saw though made me grossed out a bit and of course intrigued as the wheels in my head began to spin. The pictures featured a wide shot of the house…


Where is this “Little Cabin in the Big Woods?” Where is Ma and Pa Ingalls? Where’s Laura and Mary? Do you make a balloon for Kristen and Tom to play with out of a pigs bladder? Can you tell I loved those books a lot? What is this house? This looks nothing like the Bel Air I know!


Is there dust on the bathtub because it’s never been used? And is that a half empty bottle of Dakar Noir I see on the counter? You preferred cologne of course. It’s easier to find Dakar at Rite Aid and Walgreens when you’re on the road than it is to find a department store with those fancy designer scents.

And what about these pictures of the master bedroom and (insert your own “duh duh ddddduuuuuh” here) THE BED that you and Kristen might be sleeping on at this very moment. Did the Robsten fangirls instantaneously orgasm just by looking at this picture?


Is that Kristen I see in bed giving the helicopter pilot the middle finger?


Does the property have a loquat tree? How else will Kristen make you crumbles and tarts and pies without one? Was that one of the necessities of your rental search?


Does the mini really have a vanity plate that reads “1 Mad Hater?” Cause I’d much rather live in a world where Kristen and possibly you drive around in a car that says mad hater on the back. I don’t want to think Kristen or her family are just really big Alice in Wonderland fans. So I have forever dubbed the black mini: “the hater mobile.” Long live the hater mobile!

Sadly, this isn’t anything like what I pictured the “palatial pad” to be like but I guess once I blew the lid off that place with my amazing writing skills you had to up your game, I get it. But now I’m going to take a shower because I feel skeevy for looking in your bedroom windows. Figuratively of course. But really now Joe-Realtor you couldn’t have taken these down?

Oh and if you have any good tips for jet lag that just won’t quit, I’m all ears!
Themoonisdown

Have you seen the pictures? What did you think, any initial thoughts like mine? Does Rob seem more of a Dakar man or a Cool Water type guy? 🙂 And seriously, jet lag tips?

Pictures from Twilight Central

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183 Commented


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