Chipotle, Butterscotch, Batman and the Bacon Party – The Eclipse DVD Commentary Has It All


Dear Rob,

I’m gonna be honest and say that yesterday me and 4 other girls spent at least 7 hours watching the Eclipse DVD. Yea watching the DVD, then the deleted scenes, then the extended scenes, then the 6 part making of docu, then finally the commentary with you and Kristen while watching the movie ALL OVER again. I can’t say I’d tell most people we did that but I feel like coming clean because the first step to recovery is admitting it, right? Who knows. But I say this because just when I thought I had this thing under control, I listened to the commentary and fall right back in.

You on the commentary was like all the best kinds of wrong. Like jokes about Peter’s hair being a cereal bowl and your “mouth hole.” Your commentary was like when me and my roommates and friends have our Sunday Night “Bacon Party” where we watch Dexter and Walking Dead, eat bacon and add our own insane commentary to the goings on (acting!). In fact I think if you subbed in for someone some Sunday night we’d never know the difference because you’re humor just as messed up as we are.

Highlights of the commentary high points (see what I did there?!)

As opposed to the skinflute…


I need this tattooed on my forehead


108 Commented

Robert Pattinson was made for Dancing with the Stars

Dear Rob,

Recently the Examiner (purveyors of quality news stories) reported that both you and Kristen Stewart had been approached to join the cast for the next season of TV’s classiest, danciest, glitteriest (that’s a word), most man chesticle baring, A LIST competitive dancing show! Yes, you Robert Pattinson were supposedly asked to be on Dancing with the Stars. Sadly, the Examiner tells us you turned it down, though it’s not certain whether it was a flat denial or you mulled it over a bit. Because clearly, that’s what’s important here: the amount of time it took you to say HALE NO to ABC.

You may have said “when vampire’s DON’T sparkle” I’ll be on that show, but I’m thinking maybe you should reconsider! I mean look at your past dancing record, you’re a force to be reckoned with on the dance floor.

Let’s take a look back at your dance card and see why you need to be on DWTS:

Vanity Fair – West Side Story Photo Shoot

They may have put you in the back, but I really think that’s a height thing and so that wimps like Chris Evans wouldn’t feel inferior to your supreme dancing prowess!

Twilight – Prom scene dance

Dancing in E’s bedroom

Cedric Diggory at the Yule Ball in Harry Potter

(approx min 4:00, 4:37, 5:06, 7:33)
Why Cho Chang ever left you is beyond me. Look at those moves. Maybe DWTS should also ask both the Weasley Twins to join next seasons cast…

Eclipse – Finger snappin’

Look at your natural rhythm, the feel for the music, you have it IN YOU!

More fun after the jump

96 Commented

Open Weekend Post hosted by: Keisha and all our favorite Rob’s

(Keisha welcomes the weekend for us with a special poem about all our favorite Rob’s through the years! Happy Weekend! xo, moon)

Dear Rob,

Why do we love thee?
Let me give you a glimpse in this Ode to RobP.
Let’s start by taking a look at your early work, shall we?
This isn’t in much order but please bear with me.
(Gotta put in THEY’RE NOT BEARS or UC & Moon will kill me!)

You were such a goofy dude as Art in How To Be
And portrayed a great artist when you played Salvador Dali.
You wore a rainbow sweater and again were so dorky
When you were in that movie about teen pregnancy on BBC.
There was that movie where you smoked like a chimney,
Laid around, and the spiders were way creepy.
You were even in a movie about that Potter boy Harry
Was it fun to be a wizard when you played Cedric Diggory?

THEN there was this director named Cougar Cathi
That was doing a movie about a book by Stephenie.
I’m sure you had no clue your life was about to be so kookie
When you were auditioning… on a bed… with a handheld video cami.
You played this “teenager” named Edward C
Did I mention that you were a vampire with a bouffant and were sparkly?!
Who had one fiiiiiiine faux Daddy
Played by none other than Peter Facinelli!
Now females yell “Edward Cullen, Bite Me!”
And scream in your face like they’re all bat-shit crazy.

I, myself, was a little late to the party
But last May I finally saw Twilight On Demand in HD.
For weeks I was glued to YouTube like it was Thursday Night Must See TV
For never before had I enjoyed hearing a grown man giggle and say “Lit’rally”.
I rushed out to Target and bought the Twilight DVD
And for that I have just one word: Commen-freaking-tary!

Now I say things like OME!
And smile when I see Volvos that are silvery.
Just to see your cardboard face I will walk repeatedly
In front of the window display at the mall’s FYE.
I even own an Edward lunchboxie
And trust me, I am not in Grade Three.
I, too, think Hot Pockets are pretty darn tasty
And am waiting for my chance behind a Dumpster with The Pretty.

Your life has been invaded by so much paparazzi
Who will do just about anything to take pics while you’re tipsy.
You sure know how to have a good time with Heine
With your best mates Tom, Marcus, Sam, and Bobby.
I will scour the Interwebs for hours to see
Pics of you in the sacred gray shirt of Stoli.
God forbid you forget to wear a hoodie
Or go outside without your trusted dark beanie.
The jeans had better be button-flied, blue, and holey
And I won’t turn away if you show a little mantie.
I swear your hair tells you “Don’t wash me!”
The girls really swoon when it’s all wild and messy.
Deep down we’re all hoping that you aren’t really smelly
And that we won’t get run off by Dean/Steve, your Security.

Everyone noticed you’re a pretty talented hottie
Especially when you strum your guitar and sing all mumbly.
Thanks to you some now think smoking is again way sexy
And you even have a segment called Robert is Bothered on Jimmy!

We REALLY love when you pose for mags like VF and Gentleman’s Quarterly
Even if you’re picking corn out of your teeth or wearing a horse blankie.
Sad Rob makes us sad and white, button down shirt, skinny tie Rob fills us with glee
But I’m not sure the world got the joke about your “allergy”.

It was time for you to do another movie
So off you went with a DILF to the Van-city.
While you were there you turned 23
And KStew’s life became a little less spicy.
But that had nothing to do with you, right Baby?!!
At least that’s what the execs at Summit try to tell me.

After that wrapped you went to New York City
And shot a somewhat different film called Remember Me.
There’s this guy named Tyler and a girl named Ally
I don’t remember much after the scene with spaghetti.
That’s a big fat lie cause then you get sweaty!
It was a crazy summer; some fangirls got rather fugly
For that I’m sorry and I really hope you didn’t get hit by that taxi.

You went back to the ‘Couve but there wasn’t much we could see
So we all settled in and waited impatiently for the eve of November Twenty.
A movie at midnight was a first for me
And you weren’t even in half of the damn movie!
But a little of YOU is better than none so 4 more times I would see
You in Grandpa’s tweed with a left nipple that’s a little wonky.

Your next project is/was Bel Ami
Which appears to have you with lots of Time comma Sexy.
THIS is full of Box Office WIN, trust Me
And I had no idea that 1890s Paris looked like present day Hungary.
Soon you will be in Cali shooting a movie about watering Rosie
Your love interest has played your Mummy
No, that’s not at all Uncle Rob creepy.
And your competition, even though he was a bad Nazi
In Inglorious Basterds, “That’s a Bingo!” is still pretty damn funny.
Team Rob will become Team JACOB Jankowski
Oh, the irony!!! Or not so much really….

After that… probably…. uhm…. most likely… maybe?
Will be the conclusion of Twilight with BD.
It all depends on what the director can do with CG
Did you know you’re going to have a weird ass baby???
What steps are you taking to become a Daddy?
I mean…. What steps are you taking to learn how to ACT like a Daddy?
Please be careful and get some freaking chemistry
You have no idea how much we are looking forward to Fade to Black Isle Esme.

But before that there’d better be a Leg Hitch in Eclipse we see!
Or the Fandom will revolt on this June Thirty.

Good Heavens this Ode sure is rambly.
And I haven’t even mentioned Pattinson Pant Lady!
In conclusion, Rob, we’d also like to thank Moon and UC
For showing us this acute fondness is not crazy, That’s Normal-cy!
But you know me as Keisha when I get all Commenty

Happy Weekend!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTTThe ForumTwitterThe Store

44 Commented

Mr. Choice vs. Mr. “Paddleston”

Dear Rob,

You might be surprised to hear that Mr. Choice tagged along for my west coast visit to see Moon and friends this week. He pretends to be annoyed by all the girltalk, Twi talk & Rob talk, but deep down I know he loves it. And for sure all the LTT/LTR girls love HIM. He’s become quite popular. It’s almost like “Rob WHO!?” Well, almost. Since Mr. Choice has been around all week and got to see Eclipse with us Tuesday evening, we’ve had some fun conversations. Here you can listen in on one of our most recent:

Mr. Choice: What’s up Twilight people. It’s only fair that I warn you all up front that my role in whatever we’re about to do will be incredibly boring. I’m far too sleepy to care about a 600 year old high school vampire who is mad at a 16 year old wolf…Consider yourselves warned
Honey!!! We are supposed to be pretending that we’re having a casual conversation- my readers can’t know this shit is staged!
Mr. Choice:
But I’m downstairs on the couch & you’re upstairs in Moon’s bed with her. This is SO freakin’ staged.
: We’re the only ones who know that! Now be sweet to my readers

UC: So….. you tweeted earlier that you’re officially Team Jacob
Mr. Choice
: Yes and my mom left me a Facebook message asking, “Who is Jacob & what does it mean that you’re on his team”
: I’m asking the same thing…. So..  WHY? and I mean be honest….. is it because you think I touch myself to Edward Cullen? And you’re jelly jelly?
Mr. Choice:
No, I know you do that, and I don’t care. Jacob is less melodramatic, a FAR better actor, gets better dialogue, is less awkward, less British and 1 billion times hotter
okay first of all, Jacob is a character.. and he fixes cars.. he doesn’t ‘act’. Now Taylor Lautner on the other hand, he’s an actor…I didn’t ask what you thought of Rob vs. Taylor- I asked about Edward vs Jacob. and furthermore, Edward is RICH- you know how I’m into rich dudes
Mr. Choice:
Fine…whatever…I can’t separate who they are as guys and who they are in the movie. Ugh- Edward Pattleston will be a janitor in like two years
you sound bitter.
Mr. Choice:
I hope he enjoys this time
I thnk you’re jealous. First of all… Tay-cob looks like an alpaca. I’ll prove it:
Mr. Choice:
That makes no sense to me
UC: Oh yeah? Look:

Alpaca Taylor

(also- can we get one of these!?)
Mr. Choice:
That’s quite a bit of a stretch…Also, whoever brought that to your attention is a huge dork. I think sometimes Rob looks like your Aunt Summer
My aunt with down syndrome!? HOW SO!?
Mr. Choice:
He just does when he laughs loudly

More after the jump! Continue…

93 Commented

My Confession: Rob finally becomes Edward Cullen in Eclipse

*SPOILER ALERT! As if you would expect anything different after we’ve just seen Eclipse for the first time!*

Oh heeeeeey there Edward Cullen!

Dear Rob,

I have a confession to make: I’ve never truly thought of you as Edward Cullen. I know, right? A year and a half later and I’m just telling you this? Hear me out…  I’ve always thought of Edward Cullen from the books as a different person than the Edward Cullen you play in the films. Sure, they have the same name and share some of the same lines but there’s something about the book version and your portrayal that were just not the same to me. I can’t completely pinpoint why that is, it just is.

But tonight I think you got it. Or at least the beginnings of whatever IT is. While watching Eclipse for the first time there were moments when I watched you and I thought, wow he’s Edward Cullen right now, not just Rob playing Edward Cullen.

We should really protect your virtue, and this gold brocade bedding from any accidents

Like when Edward and Bella had the modernity talk on that blasted gold brocade bedspread about not wanting to have sex before marriage. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her and want to do such things it just went against his nature and how he was brought up and what time period his values and morals came from. I’m pretty sure I swooned hard with the talk about chaperoned walks and stolen kisses. Hey, I’m an Austen-Regency-era lover, I can’t help it.  And I even tried to block the image of Joshua Harris Kissing Dating Goodbye when you mentioned courting, but there was something just SO Edward Cullen about it all. A little bit old fashioned, a little bit shy, a little bit sweet and a whole lot of Edward all wrapped into one on that awful bedspread.


Though there were many times your dialogue felt stilted and awkward, thought most of the time (and we’ll talk about this later) that awkwardness and stunted dialogue was between you and Kristin, you really did shine this time around. Even when your portrayal of him felt very outside of the book-Edward we know, for instance like when you got angry and shook Jacob or when you let Bella ride off with Jacob on the bike, though what was WAY outside of book-Edwards boundaries and character, it still felt like it could have been a possibility. And maybe you tapped into something that book-Edward was needing all along. A little more danger? A little more emotion? I don’t know but I was feeling it. Your whole performance and the movie as a whole was way more refined, way more drilled down than the previous films, less neon bug eyes and more soft around the edges.

Just thinking about "courting"

I’ve always wondered if Stephenie Meyer felt the same way about seeing actors portray characters she’d had in her mind long before any actor ever brought them to life on celluloid. Did you guys live up to those characters in her mind or are they two separate things. Maybe I’ll just have to call up our new BFF and pretend to be JK Rowling with a lost alternate ending to Harry Potter so she’ll take my call and see if she agrees with me.

But for tonight as we close in on 4am I’ll just say good job. Now to figure out when I can see the movie again and who I can send a letter to to ask the caterer to slip a Valium in yours and Kristen’s lunch of coffee and cigarettes before you film any scenes together in Breaking Dawn with dialogue. Help us.

Team Edward!

PS But seriously, Edward in the snowy mountain scene? You looked 3D or animated or CGI-ed into a snow globe (Snow Globeward?). We HAVE to talk about that some day.

SOOOO what’d you think? Have you seen IT yet?! Have you always pictures Rob at Edward Cullen or am I alone in this one?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

129 Commented

Previous Entries

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License

LTR Privacy Policy

Sponsored by