How To Be… hotter than Robert Pattinson?

this is his 'o' face

this is his 'o' face

Dear Rob-

This may sound weird to some ladies out there but sometimes I find you, as Art, (in How To Be) sexier than Edward… now it’s usually a momentary fleeting thought but still find you adorable, I do!

It’s something about that floppy hair and sad voice and puppy dog eyes that really gets me. Oh and the too short pants and plaid jacket. That’s like right down my alley.

So while all the other gals are Swwwwoooooning over Eddie-poo you can come hang out with me in all your Art glory and we’ll play nonsense songs on the guitar together. I just get the feeling that you are more Art in real life than you are Edward… and honey that’s alright with me.

Smooches-
Themoonisdown

sneeky sneeky... crappy cell shot

sneeky sneeky... crappy cell shot

Ok so I wrote the above lines last Friday thinking I wouldn’t get to see How to Be till I either caught it on IFC or was able to catch another screening at a Film Fest since the Burbank Film Festival was sold out. On a wing and a prayer I put out an SOS on the Twitter and Letters To Rob asking if anyone knew of an extra ticket lying around that I could use cause I simply HAD to see Robert as Art. I was dying for some floppy hair and guitar playing on a Saturday night. And as luck would have it the heavens and Rob shined down on me because the super lovely and sadly very ill London2LA gave me hers! Poor gal was sick and couldn’t make it so she emailed us, we had a great conversation and viola I was on my way.

I sailed into Woodbury University where they were having the Burbank Film festival with seconds to spare and again luck was on my side as I found a seat and settled in to watch the screening and live tweet whatever I could. Before it could begin, however, a girl calling herself the Burbank Film Festival Intern got up to “introduce” the film. Her introduction, however, turned out to be a bunch of thinly veiled digs at the audience. So here I will write her a letter within a letter…

This is how I feel every Monday...

This is how I feel every Monday...

Dear bitchy Burbank Film Fest Intern-

Instead of being “funny” when you told us “in case we didn’t know How to Be was NOT the prequel to Twilight” you just looked like an ass. That was all of us in the audience politely laughing because it was so awkward! And then when you said the crap about there only being 2 guys in the audience you sounded totally condescending to the dudes who were there. Way to keep the people coming back for more! Good job! Less talkey, more filmies!

Please don’t treat the audience like we’re 14 yr olds, because honestly you were probably younger than me.

Scowling girl in the back,
Themoonisdown

PS Oh and your sparkly, gold glittery dress wasn’t cute.

Annnnndd scene!

But seriously though, if you get IFC record that shiz or if they are screening How to Be somewhere near you I highly suggest you go out and catch it cause there’s nothing like seeing a great movie with an awesome score/soundtrack in a theater. Support independent film! Just don’t wear a Twilight shirt, please I beg of you. I was so 2nd hand embarrassed when someone walked by me sporting Hot Topic’s finest. Ugh.  I would give you more of a run down but I don’t want to spoil anything for those who want to remain How to Be virgins. Your v-card is safe with me (thats what she said)!

“I think I’m passive depressive…”
Themoonisdown

PPS Buy this soundtrack! Coming from me that should mean a lot if I do say so myself 😉
PPSS It can’t be said enough another HUGE thanks to London2LA, you are radical and I can’t express how appreciative I am of you and passing your ticket along. LOVE YA!

In honor of How to Be this morning’s AM Delight will be the totally awesome How to Be Trailer followed by an extra special surprise from one of your very own after the cut!

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.2317545&w=425&h=350&fv=clip_id%3D1524737%26server%3Dvimeo.com%26autoplay%3D0%26fullscreen%3D1%26md5%3D0%26show_portrait%3D0%26show_title%3D0%26show_byline%3D0%26context%3Duser%3A567692%26context_id%3D%26force_embed%3D0%26multimoog%3D%26color%3D00ADEF%26force_info%3Dundefined]

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It'll be our little secret – Robert Pattinson, Boy Model!

My mom is a Modeling Agent...

My mom is a Modeling Agent...

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus and blog editors and fans everywhere-

Can we all just agree that THIS never happened? And stop posting these pictures everywhere?

It seems like just the moment my brain has been cleansed of these glamor shots a new set of these retched Miu Miu pictures resurface.

Why God, WHY???

And the caption “Robert’s First Time?” If nothing else screams Skeezy McGee, than these do, Star Magazine! Who do you have working for you, some creepy pedi rejects from “To Catch a Predator?” And their whole job is finding disturbing pictures to post from stars first gigs? Where do I sign up??  I mean… uh gross!

muimui02

My eyes are up here... LADIES???!!

Of all these creepster photos, this one to the right is the one that looks most like Rob NOW but also the most disturbing. The pose, the oddly strewn tie/scarf and what looks like daddy’s old boxers which turns out are apparently swim trunks. WTF was the stylist thinking?

Just please, I beg of you… MAKE IT STOP! Have we not suffered enough this week with the whole TUCK Scandal ’09 and now THESE!

I don’t know how much more my heart can take… I’m gonna have to hit up some old Saturday Morning Delights to cleanse the palette AGAIN.

Loving you no matter what… but please stop!
Themoonisdown

PS where the heck are some new press pics for NEW MOON?! Hello, Summit? We’re dying… THIS is what we’re dealing with right now, PLEASE for the love of God help a sister (and some brothers) out and throw us some new HOT Edward pics. Or the Wolves! The Wolves…

Pics from Robsessed!

As of this am we are WINNING in the Dazzle Awards! ZOMG! But by like nine votes…. We NEED to win this award that means nothing. WE NEED TO. So vote for us NOW. Vote MULTIPLE TIMES (I find that in order to vote multiple times in a day you have to use different computers and/or different browsers. Perhaps you can head to the library, sign onto all 20 of their computers and use their 2-3 different browsers. kThxBai) Dazzle Awards Biatch

761 Commented


GASP… ROBERT PATTINSON IS HUMAN!!

I AM HUMAN HEAR ME ROAR!

I AM HUMAN HEAR ME ROAR!

    *clears throat, grabs bullhorn, steps up on soapbox*

Dear Crazy Rob Fans (the bad ones)-

We’ve all now officially seen “THE TUCK” picture and now 5 minutes later I’m already reading complete nonsense about how this picture is ruining Rob’s image and how he’s fat and has back-acne and his pubes are trimmed. I’ve got news for you psychos…

HE’S AN AVERAGE GUY!!!!!!!

And can we all say a collective “AMEN?” He is NOT Edward with a marble chest, he is Rob, pasty white, somewhat soft in this picture… THAT’S NORMAL! and ya know what? That makes me feel a heck of a lot better about myself cause god knows I don’t look like Megan Fox or have her body and God knows 90% of the Twi-dom doesn’t either! So calm down!

XO, loving you like you are…
Themoonisdown

*bullhorn screeches, steps off soapbox, goes back to spinning records and making out with rob*

PS dont make me pull out those rings of nibelungs pics again!
PPS if you’ve been living under a rock or caught under some heavy furniture check out the pic at our pals Robsessed

617 Commented


Where in the world is the Edward Action Figure – Chi-town

Dear Edward

Sometimes I have to travel for work and while it’s fun seeing a new city it can be tiring and boring without someone to see it with, but since you’ve come into my life it’s been a lot more interesting to say the least… this week finds us in Chicago…

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We got to Chicago O’Hair airport and it was like a scene outta Home Alone, minus the running and leaving a kid behind but ya know

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We jumped in a cab and headed downtown to the hotel to get settled in

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you decided to have a little fun while we waited in Chicago traffic

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I wanted to see some sites so we headed to Navy Pier

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Fast cars, motorcycles, boats, you name it you wanna drive it and fast

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yup, we were far from home. 1,745 miles!

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then we found some fun house mirrors… you looked normal. i did not!

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lookin like a model next to one of those “love” art pieces

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the sun was setting so we decided to hit the trails. since i’m a human it was time for me to eat

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so we jumped in another cab and asked for a dinner recommendation. the cabbies must have been getting used to you and me by now, right?

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So we ended up at Giordano’s which is apparently very famous… I’ll say the wait was over an hour!

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Then it was time to NOM NOM NOM and seeing as you don’t actually eat real food and I’m a squosh on the lactose intolerant side I only had a little bit, but man was it tasty! So was the antipasto salad which was more down my alley.

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at that point i was stuffed to overflowing and it was time to head back to the hotel and hit the hay while you watched me blog

Sears tower... economically priced clothing, not included

Sears tower... economically priced clothing, not included

Everytime I go someplace new I realize I really am a west coast girl at heart and even though Chicago may not be “my kind of town” as Frank Sinatra said it was still good times!

Where to next little eddie?
Themoonisdown

Where else has the Edward Action figure been?

PS TODAY IS THE BIG DAY!!!!!!!!! DVD RELEASE! Who’s going to a party? Who’s hosting their own? As you know UC and I will be reunited and partying like it’s 1999 here in LA. If you’re around here let us know and we’ll see you out at the parties!
PPS of course we’ll be live tweeting the weekend! Follow us!

1,024 Commented


Why can't this be me?

Dear girl at Universal NBC who just sent this video to me,

I really appreciate the heads up on the video, but what I’d like even more is a private re-make of the scene between me and Robert. Are you the person I need to talk to about having that set-up? Can we do that NOW? I’ll fly to LA, Vancouver, London, wherever..

picture1

Love,
UnintendedChoice

PS: I’m still shaking from the joy of this moment

432 Commented


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