Robert Pattinson an American idiot?

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Dear Rob,

I am very disturbed at the idea of you being considered for the starring role in the made for film version of American Idiot. Don’t get me wrong, I love Twilight, why else would I be here? Something I ‘crazy fan’ over even more than Twilight stuff are all things Green day. I’m pretty certain that Billie Joe Armstrong was being sarcastic when he said “maybe that kid in Twilight. He’s a good actor.” could fill the starring role in the movie adaptation of American Idiot. Kid? Good actor? Wouldn’t that be Taylor Lautner anyway? I’m quite certain that we have plenty of idiots right here in America to choose from for the role. We, lit-trally don’t need to cross the pond. My best friend is a Brit and everytime she says lit-trally, I smile, thinking of LTT. (Thanks for that, by the way.)

If you’re not familiar, Green Day released the Album American Idiot in 2004. It’s filled with chart toppers but the songs are also telling a story. The main character is a guitar playing slacker, who is American, and goes in search of something better. I realize this wouldn’t be much of a stretch for you, Rob, but it just can’t happen. Knowing that Green Day fans are hardcore crazy, I would seriously doubt they (we)(me) would let this happen without trying to be heard. The only thing is that I’m not sure how many Green day fans even know who Rob P. is?

I won’t be surprised if Billie Joe gets on Twitter and tells the masses to relax. He did that recently regarding what his role would be in the movie. I was fortunate enough to see the broadway show while Billie Joe played a supporting character…the best character….St. Jimmy. He is the alter ego of the main character ( Jesus of Suburbia), he loves drugs, sex and all things reckless. I hope Billie Joe does reprise the role for the movie, but I can’t by any stretch of my imagination think that you, Rob, should be involved at all. Sorry.

Thanks for listening,
Lisa

I DIE

Thanks Lisa! I don’t have much of an opinion on this one since I’m not a Green Day, fan, but I’ll take your word for it! I do, however, always enjoy the conversation of “What should Rob do next.” And I have to agree that this would NOT be the smartest move. Rob needs to steer CLEAR of controversial roles, even if the controversy is from the crazy fans. My hope is that he takes an awesome supporting role to a big shot like … Matt (Damon), Leo, Brad, Ryan (yes Gosling. I’d DIE. Both of them? On screen at the SAME TIME?) I think before he’s taken seriously by the majority of Hollywood, he needs to work with respected Hollywood stars (which he IS doing with Cosmopolis) but as a supporting cast member.

So.. what do YOU think!? What type of role should Rob play next?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Inside the LTR vault

Since Rob did nothing of importance (as always) this weekend, I dug into the far-reaches of the LTR vault (aka all the unposted letters in our email account tagged “LTR potential.” There are over 85!) to see if I could find anything interesting from ages past that I never posted. There were MANY! And so I thought it would be fun to see what we were thinking about awhile ago, in regards to Rob. Surprisingly (or not) it’s not much different…

March 24, 2010

Dear Rob,

One of the things I love best about you is your tightwad, hobo style. I love that you still bust out the same blue sweater from the Harry Potter days. I love that you wore a jacket with a ripped sleeve on national TV. I love that you’re not afraid to wear your beloved tshirts into rags (which then require emergency sewing skillz). However, I’m worried about your wardrobe and its apparent rapid depletion.

No one rocks an old ratty sweater that they wore to the 11th grade homecoming dance that they went to with that homely girl with braces where their mom took pictures like it was their wedding day, like you do...

The lovely LTR/LTT ladies have been keeping tabs on yours and Kristen’s shirt sharing habits over on the forum, and I’m starting to get a bit concerned. How many shirts do you own? Maybe five? Six tops? There has been photographic evidence of Kristen wearing at least three of your shirts, leaving you with a grand remaining total of three. Frankly, this BOTHERS me.

(here is a video showing proof of this Clothes-swapping which has over 100,000 views. Yes, you may feel very very ashamed)

When TomStu borrows one of your shirts, it’s not long before we see you wearing one of his. When you show up to an event in one of Sam’s (or was that Marcus’s sweaty red plaid shirt that you wore to the VMA’s?) sweaty button downs from the night before, eventually he’s going to show up wearing something of yours. It’s like a giant communal shirt bank that never varies in number. But what could Kristen possibly contribute to the bank? Is she going to swap her electric pink mesh-insert Runaways premier dress for your Stoli shirt? Dude. Seriously. She’s depleting the bank! Don’t be a victim!

You may have to mow over THAT girl to get to THAT shirt

Think of the repercussions. If she keeps “borrowing” your shirts at this rate, it won’t be long until the guys kick you out of the bank and you’re forced into prying the ducky sweater (obviously way too awesome to be a part of the shirt bank) out of TomStu’s cold, dead hands (because he’s not giving up THAT baby without a fight). Or worse yet, you’ll be forced to walk around shirtless…

………………………………………………………………

………………………………………………………………

Oh, hi, Rob. What were we talking about again? Oh yeah. I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE when you let Kristen borrow your shirts.

Was worried but now notsomuch,

amazingplinko

P.S. If you ever show up in any pictures wearing the ducky sweater? You will automatically pass go, collect 100 dollars, and become my favorite person in the ENTIRE universe until the end of time.

Rob never borrowed that Duck sweater, did he? I can’t remember ever seeing it. And I’m PRETTY SURE we wouldn’t forget Rob wearing the BEST SWEATER of ALL TIME!!!! 

PPS: Caption on the first image above was from This funny Post from 2009!! We’ve been discussing Rob’s “Fashion” (or lack thereof!) for YEARS now!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

7 Commented

A “request” letter for Rob Pattinson

Tonight I Broke down the new Breaking Dawn trailer with Moon for LTT so this letter submission is for you today;

Dance floor, in line at your kid's school.. same difference..

Dear Rob, Every morning I have a routine. I wake up (well obviously I wake up) make breakfast for my kids, get them ready for school, and drive the one hour round trip to drop them off and stop at Starbucks for coffee. I also have the unhealthy habit of 3 cigarettes while drinking my ginormous iced mocha all while reading email and everything else I can do on my extremely overpriced cell phone. (Should we even call them cell phones anymore Rob?? I suppose that is a different subject for another letter) Let me start off by telling you that before I leave the house I also check my phone for this awesome subscription notification from LTR. When I see this I smile and get all giddy for about 10 seconds and savor it because Rob, I get to look forward to reading the latest letter as soon as I start my coffee/smoking tradition (Tradition might be a little overboard, but you get what I’m saying.) It’s important that you understand this is the highlight to my morning. You probably can’t imagine (or actually just don’t care) what a disappointment it is when there isn’t a letter waiting for me to read, lmao at, giggle like a school girl, and scroll thru the photoshopped and/or picspam that so cleverly accompany these letters. This doesn’t destroy my day; however, it certainly doesn’t start it off the same way by any means. Yes, I’m a bit dramatic, but let’s face it; there’s obviously some sort of abnormal obsession that follows all of us who read and write letters that we all “think” you’re looking forward to as well. My point here is this.. What the hell are you doing that is so important other than playing your guitar, writing songs for KStew, making movies, drinking beer, walking Bear, and dressing yourself like an absolute bum for a 5 minute jaunt in public?? Forgive me Rob but this is ass backwards! Now don’t get all offended here, but last time I checked I was one of the bazillion people that made it possible for you fly private jets to award shows, buy ridiculous vehicles that catch on fire, stock up on a lifetime supply of hot pockets, purchase expensive Gibson guitars, grace the covers of reputable magazines, and most of all get PAID 20 million dollars to make a movie. Let’s be honest, you need me (us) as much as we need you. Is that a fair statement? I’m not writing another “Where’s Rob?” letter. I’m writing a “request” letter. Would it be so far fetched to request a little cooperation here Rob? Personally, I don’t care about your adopted dog, Sam picking his wedgie while taking a walk with you (although that was hilarious) seeing a picture of you dressed like a ninja dodging the public eye, your half shaven head, you sporting a God awful 1980′s MTV jacket, your mess of a speech while giving an award (or accepting one for that matter) the cob salads you order at the local grocery, the huge duffle bag you lug around in airports, where you spend your hiatus with KStew, or what Dean is sporting for his wardrobe while guarding your body from EVERYONE. The mere disturbing fact that I DO know all of these things justifies my reasonable request for you to jump in to the celebrity you’ve become with both feet!! I need much much more from you Rob. I need a scandalous public love affair with ANYONE else besides KStew (I mean really Rob? That overhyped relationship with her is obviously not going anywhere.. right??) I need a spreadsheet of snapshots with you on a private island with me.. I mean some other drop dead gorgeous 30 something woman. Preferably one with a couple of kids.. that makes us drool for longer than the .5 seconds of your perfect back muscles in the BD trailer. I need some substance here Rob! You’re a well read young man. I need your personal diary of love, sex, and non trivial feelings made available so that you can live up to the man I’ve created in my head for you to be. (Btw, I’m not THAT ignorant, I understand that you’re still young and may need a little molding. I’m willing to help you with that) I need an oscar worthy performance that takes my breath away and puts Edward on the back burner. You are very capable of this Rob. I’ll admit, I had to force myself to get thru Cosmopolis. It was a ridiculous array of gibberish that required both a thesarus and a dictionary to make sense of. Dellilo is a bizaare author. Of course, I’ll be at the box office on opening day, but my idea of oscar worthy is not 2 hours of you driving in car on the way to get a haircut. Let’s hope I’m wrong, but I seriously doubt it. I need a song that I can understand at least 50% of the words to. I can’t turn my ipod on and clean my house to your music Rob. You have a beautiful talent but it’s more frustrating to walk into my living room to fix a skipping song only to realize that’s just your mumbling. Give me passion! Give me Excitement! I want to FEEL we’re just as appreciated, because you know that you’re VERY appreciated.

Is this your money's worth?

Here’s what I’m saying, I want my money’s worth. As shallow as that may seem, you get a shitload of my money and I need to prove my husband wrong when he tells me I’m “throwing it away” on a sparkling vampire! (He just doesn’t get it, it’s very frustrating. I don’t have the strength to stay away from you) Jump out of your uncomfortable comfort zone Rob. Your crazy shananigans of wearing a shirt that says “get off my dick” or sporting flip flops with a flannel shirt is just not doing it for me. Dare I say for any of us? Bring back your James Dean hair (it’s fukhawt sexy) join us so we can write letters to you that we cannot wait to share. It will spice up your life, I promise! Let’s have a cup of coffee and a smoke together in the not so distant future. Tomorrow would be good, but I’m willing to wait a few extra days. Actually, you know I’m not going anywhere, I’ll wait as long as it takes.. unfortunately. Humbly waiting, Fragile Human Am I the only one here? Who out there could use more of the not so uhhh normal Rob? Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

37 Commented

Rob Pattinson: Famewhore

Warning: Sarcasm full steam ahead. After a week of not knowing how to address ‘the video,’ this letter felt appropriate:

Dear Rob:

Stop being such a fame hog.

(I like to think Sam was picking a wedgie to distract us from Rob's horrible Adidas sandles)

There, I said it. I laid down the oh so ugly truth. I mean the way you prance about just begging for the paparazzi to descend onto you is so transparent. Everyone knows that you only go grocery shopping with your buddy with the wedgie so your picture can be taken. I even heard that you have one of those corkboards with all of your Just Jared Jr. pictures tacked to them. (I just totally made this up because it made me lol) Too bad the days of Tiger Beat are long past us, you might have a nice 11 x 17 poster to hang with it. Your desperation for attention is so…reality tv star of you, and to be honest you’re embarrassing yourself.

Your latest yearning for your name to be published on questionable celebrity blog sites around the inter-webs is just plain pathetic. Your buddy Marcus Foster decided he was going to make the big plunge. The big “translation of music into visual poetry so you can now have your own VEVO channel” plunge with the help of another one of your mates. Now, any good friend aware of their own panty dropping abilities would act as an anonymous donor to the great cause of middle class British emotional plight and just front the money for the project. God knows you have enough. But no, Rob the fame whore in you was just begging and pleading to be released, so you did the next best thing and unleashed…ROBSTEN!

Now, there are more likes of the video than actual views on YouTube and the comments have quickly morphed from along the lines of “Who the f— is this dude?” to “OMG!!! LONG LIVE ROBSTEN!! TOTES ADORE THAT ROB WROTE THIS SONG FOR KRISTEN! MY OVARIES ARE EXPLODING!”

So, Rob I think you owe an apology to your friends Marcus and Sam. All they wanted to do was produce black and white art to make it look more melodramatic. Shame on you and your inner fame whore Rob. Maybe we should exile you to a deserted island with Kris Jenner (Kardashian) and see how long you survive without a camera in your face or some variation of your name plastered over the Internet?

xx itsaboutthewords

(You do know this was one giant piece of sarcasm, right? I don’t want any Rob fans coming to tar and feather me Boston Tea Party style.)

Check out the video and be a judge for yourself. But, I give you a challenge all LTR readers: Can you comment on the video without alluding to Rob?

Sadly, itsaboutthewords, I have a feeling if you didn’t mention it, then some WOULD have missed the sarcastic bit.. there’s always one these days! And I appreciated your subtle way of shaming us fans into NOT making everything about Rob. Cause, to be honest, when I learned Kristen was in a Marcus Foster video I immediately thought “aww.. Rob is helping a friend out & getting him some video views” (because apparently I’m suddenly into male chauvinism & don’t think Kristen can make decisions for herself) And the video has nothing to do with Rob. I repeat, the video has nothing to do with Rob! But that didn’t keep me from commenting along with all the ROBSTEN lovers on the video, about ROBSTEN (I can’t resist that opportunity, ever) What IS that? Are we so desperate to have anything of substance of Rob that we’ll take him when his friend is picking a wedgie, his girlfriend is in a music video or anything else that has little-or-nothing to do with him!? DISCUSS! xo, UC

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

100 Commented

Things I Would Pay to Watch Rob Do:

Every week I tell myself I’m going to have more time to write a letter to Rob FROM myself, but every week it doesn’t happen. I have REALLY good excuses though. Stuff like I got drunk/my cats wanted attentionr/I’m going away for work and am too busy. Plus I started a new career. Just what I need to give me MORE free time to write to Rob. Oh well, here is basically what my letter would say anyway “Dear Rob, where the eff are you besides eating ice cream & buying guitars? Love, UC.” And that’s boring, so Imma let you guys write the letters:

Dear Moon & UC,

I loved–LOVED–the letter last week from MarbleNutSlut (quite a name, btw!) about Rob’s dealbreakers. I was laughing so hard I was crying. Silently, mind you, as I read it this morning at 3am when I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake the whole house up and have to explain why a photoshopped pic of Robert Pattinson with a mullet and jorts was so hysterical…but I digress.

MarbleNutSlut’s letter was so relevant because just last night I went to an Indian’s baseball game with the hubs and we sat next to two guys who, I swear to you, were trying to be the somewhat less grungy, “cooler”American versions of Rob and TomStu. For real. The one guy looked so much like Tom that I kept staring at him and probably creeped him out (I AM a cougar, I don’t know if  you’ve heard, lol). The other much MUCH hotter guy ATE.AN.ICE.CREAM.CONE. And omg it almost killed me. He was going to TOWN on this chocolate waffle cone like it was the last thing he was ever going to eat, sticking his tongue inside the waffly bit and….*fans self*…I nearly moaned out loud. So naturally (because it’s TOTALLY normal to live my life with this line of thinking), I immediately wondered to myself, “What would I pay money to see Rob do?” Oh the possibilities! So while one of the most boring baseball games I’ve ever been to went on around me (ok, you caught me, it’s the only baseball game I’ve ever been to), I tried not to gawk at the ice-cream-tongue-f*cker, and made a list…

Things I Would Pay to Watch Rob Do:

• 

  Like this, Beaspoon?

  Eat an ice cream cone. Naturally. After last night’s performance, I can’t get it out of my head! (UC NOTE: Coincidentally Robsessed is reporting he recently partook in some ice cream)

• Take a shower. I know, that sounds dirty, but I promise it could be a totally innocent shower, even if he doesn’t wash his hair and he just stands under the running water for like 5 minutes, I would still pay money, haha.
• Rock a baby to sleep. It would be so UN-Rob, and at the same time so deliriously sexy (if a man can get a baby to go to sleep, he automatically goes up 10 sex points in my book, lol).

How's this, Bea?

• Smoke a cigarette. ‘Nuff said–who else can make such a disgusting habit so mind-blowingly sexy?
• Play frisbee with his dog. Weird, right, that I would PAY to watch that? But you can learn so much about a man from the way he treats his pet.
• Cook breakfast. I know, I know, in reality Rob probably can’t do much other than open a Jimmy Dean frozen breakfast sandwich and stick it in the microwave. But in the deepest recesses of my wild imagination, he secretly harbors Tyler Florence-style cooking skills and can handle an onion like a pro, haha. Yep, I’d totally pay to watch him make me an omelet!

There’s probably only about…oh, a million more much, much dirtier things I would pay to see Rob do, but I’ll let you all get hot and
bothered just imagining them:-) And now I want to know, what would YOU pay to watch Rob do?

Still Obsessed,
Beaspoon

You heard her! What would YOU pay Rob to do? I’d pay him to show up in Philly, maybe placing a flower on the memorial for recently departed owner of the famous Geno’s cheesesteaks! And also to father my children. Or just make children with me. Without the children part…

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

87 Commented