Juliette Binoche teaches us about Rob and Cosmopolis

Dear Rob,

You know when you don’t go out and do things, I’m forced to read the gossip rags, scouring for dirt and then make stuff up about you, right? Yea, so come out and play. And I don’t mean walk to and fro on set. Come out and play so UC and I can make up other things that are not true about you… but fun none the less.

Today’s tidbit comes from Juliette Binoche, your costar in Cosmopolis but I know her as Vianne from Chocolat aka the lady who got to do Johnny Depp right before he became a big deal again. Here’s what she said

For David Cronenberg’s new movie ?
J.B: Yes, it is called “Cosmopolis”. I play an art dealer who has an affair with Robert Pattinson. He, plays a billionaire who loses everything.

Robert Pattinson evolves in a sphere that seems far away from yours…
J.B: I don’t have a point of view about his career, I didn’t see the “Twilight” movies. We had dinner together on set. He is an incredible cinema buff who for several years saw two to three movies a day. He is a fan of “Les amants du Pont Neuf” (The Pont Neuf lovers). He was funny, you would have thought he was a little child.

Ok, you might call Rob a child after having made out w/ this guy

First off Juliette Binoche called you a child, that’s gotta sting a little bit right? It also worries me that maybe that nervous giggly thing is for real and that it would get real awkward when we’re (someday) making out and you giggle like that cause I’d think you were 10 and that’s gross.

You have an “affair” with Juliette Binoche… DUDE is that kind of like having an affair with your mom’s Bunko friend? I’d also like to point out that by reading that your character is a billionaire who loses everything, I’ve learned more about the movie than I ever knew before. In what I read your character spends the movie in a limo making deals and trying to get to a hair cut appointment while stuck in traffic. And while that just sounds weird, I was all in Rob so no one can say I’m not committed. After reading this maybe Cosmopolis is about a billionaire who loses everything in a limo on his way to get his hairs did? Only time will tell.

Another thing… JB (as I call her now cause I can’t be bothered to spell out her whole name) said you went through a phase in your life where you watched 2-3 movies a day… she may call this being a “cinema buff” but I call this “unemployed.” I had a friend who did the exact same thing, only this was before Netflix was invented and he vowed to watch a 100 movies in a month because Blockbuster was offering an “all you can rent for 20 bucks” option. Needless to say he may have dropped out of school but he now considers Harold and Maude one of his favorite movies of all time and he has a notebook of hundreds of movie reviews he wrote. So this pretty much means you are my friend named Chad from about 5 years ago. You and Chad are probably also why Blockbuster went out of business. GOOD JOB!

What else will we learn or make up about you and Cosmopolis? Only time will tell my friend. And only you have the power to change that… so go out and do something instead of hanging out on balconies talking about moles with Sam Bradley. THANKS!

Now I want some chocolate, you. Johnny Depp, a limo and a movie from Blockbuster.

Au Revoir!

Why did JB call Rob a child? Weird or translation issue? Has anyone else watched 2-3 movies a day? Were you fun-employed?

Source: Robsessed and LaProvenceFR

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store


46 Commented

Rob, seriously?

Dear Rob,

Are you gonna make me beg again? We haven’t seen you anywhere, no sightings, no videos, no awkward drive thru scenarios, no underwear buying, no nothing! All we have are some rumors about you riding a bike around Baton Rouge and learning to sail a boat…..zzzzzzzz… OH Sorry dear, I fell asleep there for a second I was so bored.

I know I’ve begged for you to come around before and I’ve begged for you to go away but I don’t care! You need to show your face. UC and I need something to talk about besides what our college friends are up to on Facebook or how I need to visit her on the east coast (I KNOW!). So PLEASE Rob, come out, come out wherever you are!!!

Since we’re at a complete lose for anything to yak about how about we just remember all my favorite things about you?

You, as Daniel Gale in the Bad Mother’s Handbook. Of course the rainbow sweater is classic but this scene is about as amazing as your O face here.


That nasty shower in Remember Me. Can I join you?

Whenever I’m missing “Old Rob” or want to laugh I head straight for the “Best of Robert Pattinson” videos on Youtube. That and a stiff drink and then everythings good.

you and Tom hanging out with that hot piece, Andrew Garfield last year. Sure, you’re all pretty haggard looking here but it’s the potential of what could be. You should all hang out more often. Like EVERY DAY. Please.


This thing that someone made of all your faces from the Taft video thingy.

My favorite favorite favoritest part of Remember Me

aaaannnnddd from the ALWAYS awesome PetitBiel one of her rad videos…

This makes me smile.

So that’s where we’re at Rob. I’m posting old stuff that I like about you. Please go to KFC or a Crawfish Boil or get drunk in NOLA and declare an early Mardi Gras as you flash your man nips while Kellan throws some beads at you, ya know, whatever just do something!

Your faithful blogger,

What is your favorite Rob? Have a picture or video we should see? Post them in the comments and let’s commiserate together until Rob comes back.

Sources: Robsessed, Youtube, PattinsonLife, We Heart It, the annals of my hard drive, my fantasies.

129 Commented

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License

LTR Privacy Policy

Sponsored by