Posted by unintendedchoice on November 11th, 2011
Last night as I was trying to sleep my phone kept dinging & beeping & going crazy. When I finally looked over to see who died or what meteor was on its way towards earth, I realized that it wasn’t that serious. It was just you. Well, you weren’t calling me, unfortunately, but everyone else was. Or texting or Facebooking or Tweeting! Apparently, just as we wondered last Friday, you DID say “Just the Tip” on Jimmy Kimmel!
So last night as I was preparing this letter, I went in search of this supposed clip. I am feeling under the weather, leaving for LA tomorrow & have SO much to do before I leave (and so much to do WHEN I get there- see LTT today!) that I didn’t plan to watch your entire interview with Jimmy. But, like with most things involving you, once you start you just can’t stop. And so I watched all 3 clips I could fine. And was I ever glad. I needed that laugh!
Here is my recap of things I thought while watching Rob’s interview on Jimmy Kimmel:
Rob is wearing something new- and every time I look at it, all I see is Mr. Peanut. Yep- the character on the front of canned peanuts!
Awww! The Pattinson family clan is back together again- Dick & Clare look great! (Well, actually.. Dick has looked better… I don’t think he’s been tanning Snookie-style lately… I hope everything is okay! Get well soon, Dick!)
And I just died thinking about Rob, huge celebrity, rich, independent world-traveler, going home to visit in London and sleeping in his small twin bed, looking up at his poster of Linda Blair, getting yelled at by his mom because he left his socks downstairs. I bet he sleeps until noon while he’s visiting home. And doesn’t load the dishwasher.
Is this you, Rob?
And we find out that, unbeknownst to Clare, Rob has been a BUTT-DOUBLE? MANY TIMES? Rob-fans, I’m a little ashamed… WHEN did this interview air? 2 days ago? How has no one found the videos & pictures of Rob’s butt yet? I mean, come on people! And you call yourself fans… (Side note: While looking for Rob as a butt double, I came across the photos I used here, but on that VERY page…. look at what ads appear to the right THEY KNOW!!)
Part two features stories we’ve all heard- Rob goes to (insert country name). (Insert Country Name) screams for him. He doesn’t get to experience the delights of (insert country name), but I thought it QUITE interesting that a guy was trying to STONE him in Stockholm. That wasn’t a part of MariaCecilia’s story the other day, was it?
But it sounds right. The Swedish guy sure wasn’t the first one out there who wanted to cause bodily harm to Rob- although stoning him was pretty old school. I mean, I kinda feel for the guy (the Swedish guy): He probably lost his girlfriend to Edward Cullen or Rob Pattinson or something. Or, once thought to be a king in the sack, his wife now expects headboard-breaking love-making (Um WHY have we not starting trending that on twitter? #HeadboardBreaking-LoveMaking2011) Or maybe his crush cancelled a date because she’s a big Robstener & had to stay home to watch Rob & Kristen confess their love by putting their feet in concrete last week. All good reasons to throw stones.
In part 3 we’re getting CRAZZZZZY. Jimmy knows what we want and he starts talking about how EROTIC Breaking Dawn is (really!? Ay!!) The conversation is like watching two giddy teenage boys talk about their first time- and I’m SOOOO 2nd hand embarrassed because Dick & Clare are there in the audience. They’re wondering “How does Rob know so much?” Clare leans over to say “Rich- I thought you told me you hadn’t even had “the talk” with him yet. We agreed to wait until he was 30?” I mean, Rob says THRUSTING in front of his dad! UGH!
And then we hear it—– JUST THE TIP!!!
Our phrase. And also SNLs. And a lot of other people’s. But seriously how often have we said Edward should give Bella JUST THE TIP? I mean.. I just texted that to a friend last night about another fake couple (Damon & Elena. DO IT ALREADY) And he SAID it!!
"Clare, what does Robert mean?" "I'll tell you later, Rich"
Poor, poor Dick & Clare… So confused. They have NO idea what the “kids” are saying these days!
Just imagine how Rob explained THAT that evening at dinner:
“I meant gratuity, dad! Like Jimmy said!” or
“It’s a phrase like… ” the tip of the iceburg” ”
“The tip of my tongue, Mom. You know that Edward can’t fully kiss Bella without the fear of loss of control”
Yeah. THAT was fun!
But it was! That was a great interview! You looked so comfortable, Rob. You had great stories (although confessed to making some up!), you looked adorable, despite the peanut shit, and, I mean, you said just the tip!!!!
What did you think? Good interview? What interview should I watch NEXT? Can you believe he said it!??
Still looking for something HOT for next week’s activities? How about something from the Pattz Family Reunion line?
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