Today we’re going to talk about a very controversial subject: Rob-Stalking.
And of course by ‘controversial’ I mean ‘hypocritical’ because all of us at one time or another have felt bad for you and/or gotten mad at paparazzi making your life hell by “stalking” you for the sake of riches by selling your pictures. Or we’ve made fun of and/or gotten mad at Fans who have interrupted your dinner or invaded your personal space for the sake of getting a picture to share with all their Twitter or Facebook friends (and as a result the millions of people who read Robsessed & other similar sites). We all need to stop pretending that if we were given the chance to have the riches that that paps got by selling the pics of you “making out” with Kristen, or if we could have the satisfaction of a photo album called “The night I got drunk enough to ask Rob for a picture out at the bar” on our Facebook walls, we wouldn’t say, “EFF YEAH.”
Now that we have that out of the way, someone asked us a very important question on our Facebook Wall that we must address:
I live in Jackson, Mississippi – question – should I or should I not drive to Baton Rouge and stalk Rob – I need your advice. -Julie
Julie: Let’s take the LTR Creep-o-meter and see if you would be considered creepy by stalking Rob in Baton Rouge. This creep-o-meter was created after intense research by highly trained professionals: if you answer “Yes” to any of the following questions, we may have a problem:
1. Are you driving more than 30 miles each way to do said Rob-stalking?
2. If answer to #1 was “yes,” is it for a vacation planned this summer after a certain press release mentioned where Breaking Dawn is filming?
3. Do you plan to visit sites on said vacation that you heard about after reading tweets & blogs written by moms with too much time on their hands?
4. Do you have a problem where you scream & faint around famous people?
5. Do you think it’s okay to leave your children alone in the car without parental supervision? Even if you’ll “Be right back” because you have to “just try one thing?”
6. Do you own a camping chair & are you comfortable sitting for 22 hours a day in the hot sun for no reward?
7. Are you able to hold your bladder for days on end?
8. Is there a restraining order out against you?
9. Does Chris Hansen know your address?
10. Are you on “The List?” Oh you know the one- the one Summit & Rob’s people have for those who are around wayyyy too much. They seem innocent- they just want to stay around the action, waiting for the moment when a star might appear- but when day after day set “visitation” turns into week after week, some people start to notice that they don’t seem to have jobs… or lives that demand anything of them… or if they do they’re willing to give it up for just a fleeting moment with a star….. Yeah, they’re on “The List.”
And you don’t want to be on The List. So, how do you measure up, Julie?
If none of the above apply, congrats! You’re not creepy! You may Rob-stalk confidently now. But remember:
-Don’t post locations online
-Don’t smell his hair
-Do accidentally graze his butt
-Be interesting & memorable. In a non “List” way
-Don’t tell him you loved him in “The Bad Mother’s Handbook”
-Don’t embarrass LTR
We’re counting on you!
Oh, and Rob, I suppose I should acknowledge the fact that you came out of hiding yesterday with a new ‘do & color job. Thanks for that. Also.. tell your new friend I said “heyyyyyy!”
What do YOU think Julie should do!?
Tags: , LTR Creep-o-meter, Rob, Rob Fan, Rob Pattinson, Rob Stalker, robert pattinson, Set Stalking