LTR reader Elle wonders if she’s getting over Rob

Dear Rob,

I have a few things I need to get off my mind before this gets so far out of hand even your British accent and the way you say “fawt” (fart) can’t rescue me.

Oh really? You think you might be over, ME? (ignore my goatee)

Up until the last week or so, you’ve been missing, hiding, away from the public eye, taking walks with that one chick in the middle of the night where nobody can see you… whatever you’re nowhere to be seen; you get the point. And I knew this right? But I kept holding my breath in anticipation for the next LTR post. (Well not holding my breath, but definitely checking my phone every single morning at 6 am) And if one is waiting for me I get my fix and go about my day.

However, every so often (this is the hard part) I find myself thinking “is this guy REALLY that important that I actually spend more time stalking the web to find out anything about him longer than I take putting my kids to bed? Am I getting “over” him? Kind of like I got over my Michael Jackson obsession way back in the day. Is this obsession with this guy so far out of my element that I’m actually starting to be realistic?”

And Rob, I seriously start to get mad at myself because I start to think that I’ve just wasted 2 years of my life. Usually the light turns green at this point and I make the right to get on the highway and it’s just a “moment”. [I know what you're thinking Rob, All of those thoughts at a stop light?] The worst part is I feel guilty for thinking that way. It’s borderline pathetic Rob.

Remind me again who you think you're getting over?

Then the rest of my day goes by with the usual routine. Read letter from LTR, go to YouTube and find out the last time you “fawted” (!), And that’s actually not far from the truth. I do laundry, clean (sometimes..well rarely) play Farmville, check out what the bitch I graduated with 20 years ago is making for dinner on Facebook, and make dinner.. you know, all the shit a housewife does.

Wow! I feel like a weight has been lifted. I said it. Sometimes I think you’re wasting my time Rob.  More importantly though,How do you feel about it?

What if you woke up tomorrow and we were all gone? What if every blog, every letter & every screaming tween plus your other fans (of more “normal” ages) stopped camping out a week before you get somewhere just to see your left cheek. What if every twitter ever tweeted about you came to a hault. What would happen if we all just kind of remembered you from that one Harry Potter movie, and the obsession just ended, like it never exsisted.

You? Getting over ME? Good luck with that...

Would this effect you Rob? Would you be relieved? Would you have turned down that one low budget movie that you hadn’t read anything about except for the character’s name called Edward? I know, I know if it wasn’t for the fans..yada yada. But I’m genuinely wondering if you would rewind the time and do it differently. Do you sometimes feel like we’re wasting our time on you? Do you care? Let me know, because I think it would close a lot of doors and give me some peace of mind if I knew that you either loved us or could give 2 shits about us. And by us I mean the “normal Robsessed people” not the really truly “screw loose Robsessed people”

That is all,

Elle

Great letter Elle! I liked how you asked Rob to answer like it is because, well, we’ll probably never know what he REALLY thinks. But that doesn’t have to stop us from speculating! Rob will always come off as being grateful for his fans & for the opportunities Twilight has brought him, I believe. But does he MEAN it? I think he probably does.. deep down, but I bet most days he forgets it. When people are screaming at him (out of love OR hate), photographers are hounding him, and before he remembers he’s a millionaire & he doesn’t have to be pissed off that the Good Will ran out of black t-shirts with a hole appropriate placed over the heart. He can BUY a designer version of that shirt. I bet he forgets. And then I bet there are those moments when he realizes all that Twilight has brought him, and he’s really grateful. Let’s say we get Rob drunk & get his REAL thoughts out of him? Who is in!?
Can you tell we’re loving the European twi tour pictures (minus the goatee- although it’s staring to look like a beard again- YAY!) Thanks Robsessed for always having the links!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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In 2011 I resolve to forget about Rob……

Yesterday when I should have been blogging about Rob, I did not. Instead I perused blogs; Wrote on my personal blog (yay me!); Chatted with some pals & then caught up on the CRAZY aspects of the fandom with Moon. And had the best time ever. People are funny. And by that I mean delusional. And by that I mean kinda scary. After much psychological debate with Moon about “what is wrong with people,” I realized I had to blog. But it was past my bedtime. Boo me. All I could think about was the crazy I had just caught up on. And while I want more than ANYTHING to blog about the crazy delusions (especially since I have you on the edge of your seat thinking “WHAT is she talking about and WHICH “Side” does she think is crazy & delusional” (hint: both), I am sorry. I don’t want to be called a c*nt today. Maybe on Friday. Fridays are generally the days of the week when I like to be called different names for the vagina (my favorite is “The Box”- Member- save it for Friday though) So I searched through our email for something appropriate for today. And look at me- I’m going to be controversial anyway. Because apparently if anyone has an opinion that is less than perfect about Rob, LTR gets hate like you wouldn’t believe. Bring it. My favorite hate word for Wednesday is “hag” xoxo, UC

This is you. The Cake

Dear Rob,

Since it’s now into the second month of 2011, I figured the plethora of people discussing New Years resolutions has died down so it wouldn’t be annoying if I discussed mine now. Remember how a month ago you made a resolution while optimistic, happy and excited? Let’s face it, most of the time, you give up after a few weeks. Well, I haven’t! I guess I should just say it – out loud, say it!

My resolution is to finally admit to myself and get used to the idea that I’m kinda over you, Rob.

I had that feeling for a long time now, it’s like when you are on a diet and you always struggle and at first you still eat a piece of cake here and then, because you haven’t got control over your discipline yet. Time goes by and you learn and you get stronger and you see what else is in life other than that one piece of cake. You see and remember other things that satisfy you besides that cake. And one day you will figure that you gained the willpower to stay away. That you just don’t care as much about the cake than you did once.

Rob, you are the cake.

I look at the cake and think:

‘Yeah, of course you still look delicious and you still are my favourite thing in the whole world and there is no comparison, ever, but I’m kinda over you.’

After a while I probably am going to see that keeping that discipline is hard and tiring, especially when there are special events (Breaking Dawn trailer, -release, WFE release, Bel Ami trailer, -release [hot sex *fingerscrossed*], marriage, golden child, TomStu proposal to me, marriage, the real Golden Child…) when the cake is everywhere around you and is lit’rally shoved into your face- it’s hard to resist then. And I have to say that I will never stay away from you completely and I don’t want to, because eventually I experienced so much, so so much beauty and fun and laughter and sleepless nights because of you which I’ll never regret or would take back.

This should have been YOU without the clothes!

It’s been a wonderful time and I’m not saying that this time is over now (because I don’t have the strengh to stay away from you anymore…. BAM I’m still in the game!!) but my appetite has definitely changed over the past weeks if not months. I don’t really know why, but maybe if some things would have gone differently.

  • Maybe if you were naked in the ‘Details’ shoot instead of the models.
  • Maybe if Bel Ami already had released a trailer.
  • Maybe if you would have filmed a sextape brought sexier underwear than those briefs.
  • Maybe if your grey suit would have been even tighter than it already was.
  • Maybe if (we would know) you had a d*ck like Ryan Gosling in that Blue Valentine scene. (UC note: Wait…. We SEE IT!? DEAR LORD WHERE HAVE I BEEN!?)
  • Maybe if your bathing stuff would have been see-through instead of Kristen’s.
  • Maybe if Condon had released a screenshot of your ass instead of Bella’s hand for God’s sake!

I can't. I have a daughter now

Yeah I’m blaming you, Rob. Are you getting old? Are you getting boring when you are in a relationship? Are you stepping on the next level in hiding- from Ninja to Invisible? Are taking Twi too serious and thinking you have to behave because you have a daughter now?

You know what, Rob? Since I’m a little thinner now and all happy with myself again, I can enjoy my cake much more. I know how to dose it now, because I learned how to stay away and then I’m even happier when I come back to it from time to time.

I just wondered if anyone is with me on that diet.

Looking forward to an extra delicious piece of cake really soon,
Love,
TPWPTMPORPP

I like how TPWPTMPORPP described it as “a diet.” How are you doing on “the diet?” Are you still gorging yourself or have you paced yourself? I’d have to say I feel like I’m anorexic. I need sustenance and I need it bad. Watch out- the first thing GOOD released about Rob in the next few weeks & months are gonna fill me up fast. I’m gonna Binge. Binge on Rob. And Maybe also Hot Pockets. It’s only appropriate!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store


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