Blind Items and Europe are my favorite past time

I do Blind Items instead of crosswords or Suduko

Dear Rob,

I’ve been saying all week how much I loooooove European Rob (minus the goatee). You look great traipsing up and down red carpets in Paris (oh la la I miss it) and Brussels all relaxed like with a one Miss Ashley Greene. Now either the unpasteurized cheese in France has given you a new lease on life or the fizzy water and architecture are doing wonders for you or somethings up. You just have a certain ohhhh I don’t know je ne sais quoi about you this week.

But wouldn’t you know it whilst I was perusing this Blind Item I was sent I came across this little gem… and suddenly I got it…

Blind Item-
“I feel like Ted “Twilight” Casablanca with this one. Seriously, I am surprised he does not have Twilight tattooed on his chest. Anyway, back in the day when the franchise first started filming, this actor was hooking up with this actress who played his sister. Well, what was not known at the time by that actress was that he was also hooking up with another of his sisters who we will call sister #2. Sister #1 disappeared from the picture at some point, but despite everything that has gone on with our actor and another actress from the movie, he keeps going back to sister #2. Apparently they got noise complaints last night in a European hotel because they were so loud in bed.”

So wait, am I brother 1 and you're sister 2? Is this like Sisterwives?

YOWZZZAA! Now, you know as much as I do that we were all doing Twilight math in our heads as we read that one…Cullen brother in Europe… Kellan is off in Indonesia somewhere, Jacky is in LA doing whatever he does… sister #1 disappeared off the scene… sister #2 in Europe… brother involved with another actress from the movie… Brother and Sister #2 both in Europe… WELL WELL… HMMMMM Well yes, I think we have a winner here.

Yea, yea we all know this is a blind item and you have an epic-secret-maybe not- maybe so love affair with you know who but I’d just like to remind you to keep that ish bagged up cause the last thing either of you need to do is add a visit to the free clinic to your calendar. Monday: 10AM: Press junket Noon: Lunch with Agent 12:30PM Try to scratch under table clothe to not draw attention to downstairs “issues” 1PM press event with cast 2:30PM Phoner with Ryan Seacrest 3PM Penicillin shot at the Melrose Free Clinic 4PM Tea with director of next possible film 430PM Another nondiscript scratch opportunity 5PM Tape Conan. UM NO. I’m gonna go ahead and say we’re all adults here (god I hope so) so you can do whatever floats your boat but need I remind you of this handy chart and reminder of what could be… courtesy of everyone’s favorite Uni or High School health office…

Click to enlarge this and scare yourself
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Oh look it's the Sexual Exposure Chart! The WHHAA??

Yes, the ol Sexual Exposure Chart! If we take into account just the numbers from the blind item we’re already getting into inkblot/blurrly little people catagory on this thing. Ok, all I’m saying is you could have (allegedly) slept with a Jonas Brother and Anna Lynne McCord and Rachel Even Wood. I’M JUST SAYING. Keep it safe, keep it simple and good on you.

And thus I’d like to bestow upon you my most favorite (and maybe) aptly name celeb couple: RASHLEY!

May you live long and prosper (in the gossip rags)
Themoonisdown

PS is it awkward for Ashley to stand next to that huge poster of Edward and Bella? Weird.

It’s a blind item! Have some fun! Truth or no truth, finally we’re getting some dirt. And what’s not to love about relaxed top button undone European Rob??? NOTHING! (minus the goatee)

Source: Crazy Days and Nights

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60 Commented


Rob takes it back a decade with a goatee

Dear Rob,

Remember when I said I was like way into your beard and you looked super cute and fluffy and scruffy? Well, you went to Paris and lost your mind (screaming fan events will do that to you) and shaved it into a…. GOATEE. Did you actually step onto a time machine instead of a plane at LAX? Cause hot damn, I’m glad I recently unearthed all those Doc Martens in my closet.

I’m glad you continue to test our limits, how much do we REALLY love you? The goatee reminds me of these kinds of dudes…





Of course when news of your goatee spread UC and I came up with a list of reasons WHY (on god’s green earth) you would shave your beard into a goatee…

Hey Rob I wore this weird teacher's whistle necklace to distract them from your regrettable facial hair choices. You're welcome

1. 90s grunge cover band lead singer
2. Just found out he’s gonna be a dad
3. Doesn’t wanna get laid
4. He really loves the mid 90s is contemplating a “soul patch” next but wanted to work his way down
5. Going to Lollapalooza and is worried about beard maintenance at a festival
6. Is hoping to get a promotion at enterprise rent a car to mid level manager
7. Looking to impress the boss man at his annual insurance convention in Grand Rapids
8. Toyota is running a deal: 1000 cash back on all Sienna mini vans to guys who look like dads. He loves the extra room abd trunk space. Comes standard with navigation. And automatic rear door
9. He read about my recent unearthing of all my doc martens and he thought I might like him more if he looked more crunchy. He told Claire to send him his old flannels and ripped jeans
10. He’s been re-learning his favorite nirvana songs on guitar
11. Next style change: going blonde. Goatee too. Just the goatee!! And maybe some frosted tips. He brought along a box of color and is asking Ashley to dye his hair when they’re in eastern Europe. Feels appropriate. May even grow a euro-mullet… Or slight rat tail.

Clearly, your next facial hair steps on this European tour are soul patch/Flavor saver, dye the facial hair to platinum blond. Shave the soul patch and keep the mustache. Then come back to LA and fit in on the east side. We see your mad perfect facial hair plan. I’m not liking it but I’ll gladly welcome you back to LA with a moustache.

All my 90s love,
Themoonisdown

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

39 Commented


News in Rob’s world

*update: this post seems frivolous in light of recent events. Thanks to our military and allies for working hard to help keep us ALL safer. Score one for the world!*

Dear LTR-ers,

Because Rob’s out and about whoring for Water for Elephants all over the world there’s lots to see from his red carpets to photo calls to interviews. Soooooo I’m going to sum up the interesting stuff here for us all so we don’t have to shift through page after page of video and 9238490234 photos of the same suit from press calls. You’re welcome!
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Even if you don’t speak German the eyes and faces Rob makes while some man interprets IN GERMAN are worth this…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BULDJhAbBhM&feature=player_embedded
Most important thing I learned from this video:
Rob probably got up early and watched the Royal Wedding like the rest of us fools. Or maybe he’s just very romantical at heart.

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Rob hasn’t met a wildly colorful suit or a weird eye brow raise he didn’t like
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Mark Zuckerberg has officially changed the “LIKE” gif on Facebook from a blue thumbs up to this picture. We approve… or should I say we LIKE!!!! (rim shot!)
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Robert Pattinson was chosen as the new spokesboy for Bump-Its! He’s super thrilled as you can see.
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This lighting guy is totally pissed he missed the NFL draft because he had to make sure Bella and Edwards ocean make out was properly lit. Mother effer.
When Rob needs new clothes he goes online and google searches “cheap, ugly, inappropriate sweatshirts.” That’s how he got this, the “Get off my dick” shirt and pretty much everything else he owns. Dean also got this chicks number.
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Hot DAAAYYUUUMM this boy can make a suit look goood.

Am I right? Am I right?! Who I am kidding we’ve known that since day one! Well… that’s pretty much all that matters from his time in Europe… did any of you happen to go out and see Rob at the premieres? If so why haven’t you written us?! RUDE 🙂

Happy Monday (ugh),
Themoonisdown

So seriously, did anyone make it out to a premiere? Was Rob as beautiful as an Arabian desert in that beige/brown suit? Did he profess his love to you in Barcelona/Berlin/Paris/etc etc??

Thanks Robsessed, RP Life and your emails!

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125 Commented


Saturday Morning Delight – Sugar and Spice

Dear LTR Gals-

If nothing else can get you going in the morning, this song and Rob will. Forget caffeine, all it takes is a little James Brown and Rob in your cup.

Our two comments about this video:
Moon: damn his hair is hot
UC: his arm looked buff in that one picture

You can tell we’re tired bloggers but this song makes me feel like jumping up and doing a little jig. Also Rob I love the that instead of doing a comb over, you’re going a comb up.

Enjoy this jump start to your weekend!
XO-
Themoonisdown

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn2_gxjXWaY]

(edit- so apparently the embed is disabled. LAME.com but since we like it so much go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn2_gxjXWaY )

PS if anyone knows of an extra ticket to the Burbank Film Festival this humble little blogger would LOVE to go/live tweet it/blog it/profess her undying love for Art in How To Be. Let us know!

PPS a little prize from us to you for being so awesome and because this is not funny in the least…
Continue…

370 Commented


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