News in Rob’s world

*update: this post seems frivolous in light of recent events. Thanks to our military and allies for working hard to help keep us ALL safer. Score one for the world!*

Dear LTR-ers,

Because Rob’s out and about whoring for Water for Elephants all over the world there’s lots to see from his red carpets to photo calls to interviews. Soooooo I’m going to sum up the interesting stuff here for us all so we don’t have to shift through page after page of video and 9238490234 photos of the same suit from press calls. You’re welcome!

Even if you don’t speak German the eyes and faces Rob makes while some man interprets IN GERMAN are worth this…
Most important thing I learned from this video:
Rob probably got up early and watched the Royal Wedding like the rest of us fools. Or maybe he’s just very romantical at heart.


Rob hasn’t met a wildly colorful suit or a weird eye brow raise he didn’t like

Mark Zuckerberg has officially changed the “LIKE” gif on Facebook from a blue thumbs up to this picture. We approve… or should I say we LIKE!!!! (rim shot!)

Robert Pattinson was chosen as the new spokesboy for Bump-Its! He’s super thrilled as you can see.

This lighting guy is totally pissed he missed the NFL draft because he had to make sure Bella and Edwards ocean make out was properly lit. Mother effer.
When Rob needs new clothes he goes online and google searches “cheap, ugly, inappropriate sweatshirts.” That’s how he got this, the “Get off my dick” shirt and pretty much everything else he owns. Dean also got this chicks number.

Hot DAAAYYUUUMM this boy can make a suit look goood.

Am I right? Am I right?! Who I am kidding we’ve known that since day one! Well… that’s pretty much all that matters from his time in Europe… did any of you happen to go out and see Rob at the premieres? If so why haven’t you written us?! RUDE 🙂

Happy Monday (ugh),

So seriously, did anyone make it out to a premiere? Was Rob as beautiful as an Arabian desert in that beige/brown suit? Did he profess his love to you in Barcelona/Berlin/Paris/etc etc??

Thanks Robsessed, RP Life and your emails!

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125 Commented

Breaking it down text style: The kiss, VJ day, miracles and Water for Elephants

Just priming the lips......

Dear Rob,

Since you decided to up and out yourself yesterday while UC was away from her computer (the blog elves let her out for a weekend!) and away from gchat we were forced to break down this momentous glorious splendiferous news via text. So I present to you in cooperation with AT&T and iPhone the first ever Breaking it down texting style… (cheers from the crowd)…

Moon: Well that happened. Let me know when you wanna break it down…

UC: What? What happened? ROBSTEN sex tape ? (Please love that my phone knows to automatically put ROBSTEN in caps)

Moon: I like that your mind goes immediately to a Robsten sex tape and not like we found Osama Bin Laden or maybe I have a boyfriend or something of actual consequence!

UC: So, you’re saying it’s not?

Moon: it’s a kiss picture! A very obvious let’s kiss they’re all looking picture. Prepare yourself for the meltdown

UC: Send me pics!!

UC: Robsten is pr. ROBSTEN is promoting wfe!!!

Moon: Crazy nonstener!!!! Their love is not a product of the man or a movie studio! How dare you!

UC: Has anyone committed suicide yet? Attempts on K’s life?

Moon: Hahahah No, thank god! Theres a lot of “duh, told you so,” “happy for HIM” and general epic love-ness going around.

UC: Has half of robs fan base given up on him?

UC: this news means my life is complete. I believe in love. I want to rush home & make a baby

Robsten makes people do stuff like this

Moon: If anything this whole thing has made me believe in love again too. I’m on my way out to find a man and kiss him in the streets like it’s VJ day. This is our generation’s VJ day!

UC: Do you know any Lionel Richie lyrics by heart?

Moon: My endless looooove!!

UC: Upon viewing… my heart skipped a beat. I mean it’s kissing. No one else does it like that. No one.

Moon: Never in the history of the world have two people pecked in the back of a cab like that.

Moon: I wonder if anyone was spontaneously healed after viewing these pictures.

Moon: Did any wheel chair ridden robsten fans stand up and walk? Did a blind cat see again?

UC: Did a barren woman suddenly become pregnant with twins?

Moon: One named rob the other named Kristen?

Yes, this happened

UC: Did pigs put on little dresses and fly overhead?

UC: Did divorce cease to exist?

UC: Did all women become the perfect size 2?

UC: Did every restaurant taste as good as calypso cafe- where I’m currently sitting in Nashville?

Moon: Did every day become a weekend? Is April 17 now considered a national holiday?

UC: Yes. We need to contact hallmark to get them to make cards

Moon: I can’t believe the post office and banks are still open. This is a BIG deal. Where is Obama!??

Someone cue "Robsten the Beautiful"

UC: He’s preparing a moment of silence for the country. The white house has had a strict no speaking policy all morning

Moon: I bet even Libya is calling a cease fire in honor of this event

UC: World hunger ceased and everyone’s stomachs were filled with food.

Moon: Water turned into (boxed) wine again. And there was much rejoicing

UC: Our country’s anthem has now changed to “God bless ROBSTEN” and “Robsten the beautiful.”

Ladies you can't be mad at this face for long!!

Moon: I wonder if the Vatican called a special session to discuss saint hood for the holy couple and any future offspring?

While sadly none of these things did happen after the kiss heard round the internets we both had a smile on our faces and love in our hearts so that’s what matters. And you know what else REALLY matters? You’re in a movie coming out this Friday called Water for Elephants! Amazing!

Happy VJ Day!

Was anyone miraculously healed after this event? Does anyone still care enough to be surprised? Did anyone look at the slow mo gif of the kiss and thing “is that really a kiss??” Maybe.

Salacious photos courtesy of Popsugar

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160 Commented

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