It'll be our little secret – Robert Pattinson, Boy Model!

My mom is a Modeling Agent...

My mom is a Modeling Agent...

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus and blog editors and fans everywhere-

Can we all just agree that THIS never happened? And stop posting these pictures everywhere?

It seems like just the moment my brain has been cleansed of these glamor shots a new set of these retched Miu Miu pictures resurface.

Why God, WHY???

And the caption “Robert’s First Time?” If nothing else screams Skeezy McGee, than these do, Star Magazine! Who do you have working for you, some creepy pedi rejects from “To Catch a Predator?” And their whole job is finding disturbing pictures to post from stars first gigs? Where do I sign up??  I mean… uh gross!


My eyes are up here... LADIES???!!

Of all these creepster photos, this one to the right is the one that looks most like Rob NOW but also the most disturbing. The pose, the oddly strewn tie/scarf and what looks like daddy’s old boxers which turns out are apparently swim trunks. WTF was the stylist thinking?

Just please, I beg of you… MAKE IT STOP! Have we not suffered enough this week with the whole TUCK Scandal ’09 and now THESE!

I don’t know how much more my heart can take… I’m gonna have to hit up some old Saturday Morning Delights to cleanse the palette AGAIN.

Loving you no matter what… but please stop!

PS where the heck are some new press pics for NEW MOON?! Hello, Summit? We’re dying… THIS is what we’re dealing with right now, PLEASE for the love of God help a sister (and some brothers) out and throw us some new HOT Edward pics. Or the Wolves! The Wolves…

Pics from Robsessed!

As of this am we are WINNING in the Dazzle Awards! ZOMG! But by like nine votes…. We NEED to win this award that means nothing. WE NEED TO. So vote for us NOW. Vote MULTIPLE TIMES (I find that in order to vote multiple times in a day you have to use different computers and/or different browsers. Perhaps you can head to the library, sign onto all 20 of their computers and use their 2-3 different browsers. kThxBai) Dazzle Awards Biatch

761 Commented




    *clears throat, grabs bullhorn, steps up on soapbox*

Dear Crazy Rob Fans (the bad ones)-

We’ve all now officially seen “THE TUCK” picture and now 5 minutes later I’m already reading complete nonsense about how this picture is ruining Rob’s image and how he’s fat and has back-acne and his pubes are trimmed. I’ve got news for you psychos…


And can we all say a collective “AMEN?” He is NOT Edward with a marble chest, he is Rob, pasty white, somewhat soft in this picture… THAT’S NORMAL! and ya know what? That makes me feel a heck of a lot better about myself cause god knows I don’t look like Megan Fox or have her body and God knows 90% of the Twi-dom doesn’t either! So calm down!

XO, loving you like you are…

*bullhorn screeches, steps off soapbox, goes back to spinning records and making out with rob*

PS dont make me pull out those rings of nibelungs pics again!
PPS if you’ve been living under a rock or caught under some heavy furniture check out the pic at our pals Robsessed

617 Commented

Hallelujah! This is the day that the Lord has made

Father, son and the Holy Rob

Dear Rob-

Sunday morning I get up to check my email and find out I was sent this lovely image from pal Lula that you see on the left, as part of our weekly “Sunday Worship”  session. Don’t get weirded out dear this is just the gals having some good ‘ol fashioned fun!

The email went as such:

Good Morning,
It is Sunday…let’s give praise!

So immediately I enlarged it and right clicked to make it my new desktop background image and this is what happened…



Obviously, a sign from God himself. So of course I kept it and wrote this back:

So uh when i went to make this my desktop background image this is what happened…

god works in mysterious ways.


All day today anytime I would open my computer I was greeted with the the site of your crotch all up near my icons and of course start giggling because this is the BEST desktop wallpaper EVER invented. I rule at all things computer-y.


Yea, yea call us sacrilegious or inappropriate but we love us some Jesus and we love us some ROB! And ain’t nuttin wrong with that!

All my love and desktops!

709 Commented

Rob and Edward know what a woman wants

Dear Edward (and Rob),


Um, (gulp) okay. Are you both joining me? (holding breath…)


*Much love to Sass for taking TONS of pictures of cut-out Eddie for our “Rob Porn” series. Yep, this is a series. Check out our first post here

184 Commented

Saturday am delight

Dear Rob,

We’d say the phrase coined in our comments section by the Cullen Boys Anonymous, Robgasm, will suffice for this video experience:



Thanks to M-Styles and J-Star for telling us about the amazing, post-worthy, HOT video!

40 Commented

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