My first date with Robert Pattinson

Dear Rob-

I was reading through the comments from yesterday’s post and was astonished that so many people thought they had 0 chance of ever meeting you/shagging you but, I am quite delusional the opposite because not only do I think I WILL meet you, and you WILL fall madly and stupidly in love with me, I actually already have our first date all planned out in my head! See, I plan ahead! This is one of the things you will grow to love about me. I know. So thanks girls who are giving up, more Rob for me!


You see after I saw this little video I knew we were meant to be… so when you’ve got a free night here’s the plan…

8:00 you pick me up at my place and I fear for my life as you drive to the restaurant. You dodge 3 cats and an old lady. I pray to god we make it… “I’d never given much thought to how I would die… but dying in the place of someone you love seems like a good way to go”

8:17 we make it. barely. the near death experience has given us the shakes so we immediately order some booze to make all those bad memories disappear

8:32 two bottles of wine later we drunkenly gaze at each other as we FEEL that “special spark” between us ignite. We shoo the waitress away who keeps asking us to order

8:32.5 we call waitress back over to order another bottle of wine

8:47 we realize this “special spark” just can’t be contained anymore and we lunge for each other and then realize PDA might not be appropriate in this venue at the owner tells us to “get the H-word out you sicko’s! There are kids around!”

8:48 we stumble to the car laughing and procede to SPECIAL HUG in the backseat like a couple 16 yr olds at lovers lane on prom night

8:52 (let’s keep it real here girls, 4 minutes is probably generous) spent, drunk and hungry we roll over to In-n-Out

9:01 Order cheeseburgAHs and eat them in the dark of the parking lot before we special hug again

See ya at 8!

1,274 Commented

Where in the world is the Edward Action Figure – Easter edition

Dear LTR gals (and husbands checking out the history of their wives browsers)-

Little Edward and I went home to Arizona to spend the Easter holiday with the Moon family and to shop too much and eat too much. My mini Edward even got to meet THE Pocket Edward and Lauren from Lauren’s Bite (more on this later). And what Easter weekend would be complete without dying eggs? So me and cousins Lilcrazycow and LondonCalling (a gentleman cousin) spent the afternoon getting art-sy with marble-ing and gold leafing eggs. Why yes we are artistic in all our endevors! Martha Stewart wishes she was from the Moon family and of course Lil E got in on the action…

don’t worry let me get that egg for you with my super human vampire strength…

well we all know about poor Lil E’s lack of strength so he was quite gracious and let LondonCalling help him out

TA-DA! Hey Arizona, how you likin’ da eggs girl? (yes, we’ve spent ALL weekend saying this line in every variation we can think of… and laughing hysterically. We rule!)

Happy Easter/Passover from us here at Letters to Rob and Letters to Twilight!

Where else has the Edward Action figure been?

785 Commented

Where in the World is the Edward Action Figure – Cha Cha Edition

Say underpants!

Say underpants!

Dear Mini Edward-

If you are anything like me you know the location of every photobooth in the greater Los Angeles area… and so of course showing up to a friend’s birthday party packing an Edward Cullen action figure in your bag wouldn’t be weird at all… especially if the sole reason for going (well besides to celebrate the friend and all) was because you knew you would be able to take pictures in the booth with your friend a fellow Rob fan, His One and Only (who asked did you bring HIM? in hushed tones), and mini E! Nope, not weird at all!

I knew you’d understand!

Location: Cha Cha Lounge, Silver Lake – Los Angeles, California

Where else has the Edward Action figure been?

509 Commented

Where in the world is the Edward Action Figure – Spider Monkey Edition

Dear Lil Edward-

As you know UC and I were together last weekend and part of this week which gave us plenty of opportunities to take you out and show you other areas of LA that you haven’t already seen and that’s saying something cause you get around a lot in my bag! The other great thing about UC visiting was that she brought her Lil Edward and you two go to meet!! Long lost brothers together at last! We were having so much fun together you two decided to take us to Griffith Park the real like site of Edward’s Meadow and indulge our fantasies a little by acting a few crucial scenes out for us… you boys are too good to us!

Stay tuned for more scenes from our radical weekend together!

On to the show…

Friends are friends forever… if the Lord’s the lord of them… oh wait scenes from the movie, not CCM songs from the early 90s

Then you guys acted out one of our least favorite lines in the whole movie… “You better hold on tight Spider Monkey…”

Then it got intense when you started in on the big reveal sequence… “I’m the world’s most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would need any of that. As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off. I’m designed to kill.”

and a tender moment… “What a stupid lamb… What a sick, masochistic lion”

“And so the Lion feel in love with the Lamb…” in Edward’s Meadow, aka Griffith Park between the screaming kids on the playground and the old dudes on the golf course. But sshhhh we won’t tell!

Then you guys REALLY got into it and we felt a bit awkward… “Hold still… I wanna try one thing…”

After we pried you two apart it was time for a family portrait in the meadow.

Coming soon… sprinkles… robertson blvd… santa monica pier… THE WORLD! Oh and our very first video. EVER!

PSSSSST: if you wish we’d throw you on our backs like a spider monkey don’t forget to vote for LTR as the Best Rob Fansite (as if there’s another!!) at the Dazzle Awards. All you gotta do is scroll down to “Best Rob Pattinson Fansite” and vote! Simple!

719 Commented

Spot Rob, the in-field guide

Dear Rob-

Since you’ve been hiding out recently sleeping in with me everyday getting into character/working out/escaping freaky stalker Twimoms, we’ve missed you around these parts. In fact we’re starting to forget what you even look like (ok, ok just go along with me on this one gals), you know when you haven’t seen someone in so long you sometimes can’t picture them in your head? That’s what this feels like Rob! But fortunately for us some crappy rag-mag has published this easy how-to guide for recognizing your body parts on other people. So when that blessed day comes and you’re spotted out in that grandma sweater of yours we’ll be able to figure out it’s YOU and not Jake Gyllenhaal with a Dadcase. He wishes!

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

Enlarge this badboy by clicking on it. Perfect size to be printed off and carried around in your handbag, Ladies. Just in cases!

Let’s break it down shall we…

  • Orlando Bloom’s Eyes– Elven eyes are better than Elven ears I suppose. But yea I can see this. And they actually kinda look related. Oh those Brits!
  • Matthew McConaughey’s Hair – Ef the hair, the only thing I’m worried about is Rob’s hair taking after Matthew’s and waking the neighbors with naked bongo playing. The boy’s not muscular enough for that kind of exertion.
  • Jake Gyllenhaal’s Eyebrows – So I take it Jakey’s eyebrows have to be pushed and pulled and plucked and tweezed and waxed into submission just like Robbie’s? Poor Jake.
  • Chase Crawford’s Lips – WTF?! I’d like to think we know a thing or two about Rob’s lips around these parts, especially when they get all smooshy. Besides, Chase Crawford looks like a melty Ken doll, I simply cannot agree with this or condone it. NEXT!
  • Jude Law’s Chin – Better than having some of Jude Law’s other uh… parts allegedly. AHEM. Sorry Judey.

Now Rob don’t play hard to get… come out and be a nice boy otherwise we’ll be forced to use the tools (this field guide*) we have to find you!

Smooches and Tweezers!

*ladies!! I know you too well.

675 Commented

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