Posted by unintendedchoice on February 20th, 2009
The time has come for yet another letter dump. There’s been some talk in the comments of how you look so sad in all the paparazzi pics lately, and we’re all hoping that it’s nothing more than you missing me (yes, we are all hoping that). But in case it is something more and you’ve been a little down in the dumps lately, these wonderful letters are sure to cheer you up. (Stop that- the real reason for the letters is not because it’s after midnight and I have no content for tomorrow’s post.)
You kiss a boy…and I think I’m gonna like it
I’m gonna like this
Before you landed in my marvelous state, we were kinda running on a dry-spell with you- no new news. I even resorted to watching the video of you leaving Il Sol with Katy (yucky) Perry. I know she kissed a girl, and yes we all know she liked it, but it also reminded me that you also have a new movie coming out soon. I have to admit I really want to see the part where you, as Salvador Dali, and Frederico Garcia Lorca are buck naked in the ocean. I hear you guys make out, Is it weird that I am gonna like it? Alot?
Love me, vickyb
I know what your thinking… your going to make my legs shake…
You look so confident, bring it on baby..
And she’s frugal
I think it’s complete rubbish that you think you aren’t that attractive. I mean, come on! Have you seen how many fan sites there are dedicated to you? Even if you don’t go online that much, your friends have to tease you about it. I mean, that’s what friends do. Couple that with the fact that every woman I know is hot for you. If you truly want to get laid all you have to do is ask any female over the age of 18 and you’ve got it. I personally would pay money to have sex with you, and I’m wicked frugal. I don’t pay for anything I don’t absolutely have to have.
Sincerely wishing you would drop that line,
Rob, you’re dirty
I love you like a fat girl loves cake, and I love me some cake. Dirty hair, facial hair and chest hair are all good in my book, but those dirty blue jeans- I just have to say no. I know you’re on the go, and obviously a washing machine is hard to come by, but you could store a washboard and soap in that black bag of yours that you tote. I understand that a bath tub might be an odd thing for you, but it does have it’s use, I’d be happy to show you, how to wash of course…a bathtub, a washboard, and some soap will do your body…errr…clothes some good. Now that you are back in the States, I anxiously await, to see photos of you..after using a bathtub, washboard, and soap.
Read more tales to delight you after the jump…
Posted in: Fan letter
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