Yesterday we received the following e-mail for you:
Dear Rob Pattinson,
I know you have probably received millions of letters on this subject, but let me add one more to the pile. You have great hands! Take care of them.
I am not a fanatic, in that I don’t know everything about you, likes and dislikes, hobbies, favorite foods, etc., etc. I don’t write to profess undying love or anything. I am just a fan who would like to thank you and your castmates, for providing several hours of entertainment, which takes me to an imaginary world where I can forget my own worries for awhile. (All in PG-13, too!)
I’m not really sure, but I think she was confessing to fantasizing about you with PG-13 fantasies. I assume that’s stuff like dry humping on the couch with her parents right upstairs. Or you caressing her lady parts over her clothes or something. Or maybe I’m reading it wrong & she’s saying she fantasizes about you and your castmates in PG-13– so you caressing Ashley Greene’s lady parts. Or maybe you & Jackson getting hot & heavy during a lunch break.
Either way she’s right. You do have great hands. So what did I do? Found a couple videos made by people with obvious hand fetishes to celebrate your hands and all the PG-13 fantasies they bring us. SPOILER ALERT– there is an EPIC slow jam in one of these videos:
And something REALLY special– the 2011 Remake of the first video!!!!
Take care of those hands, Rob! Keep them soft & moisturized with your cuticles cut. I don’t want some nasty hang nail, sandpaper-feeling hands ruining my PG-13 fantasies now!
What sort of PG-13 things would you like Rob to do to you with his hands? Open up a can of spray cheese & lick it off your chest overtop your tank top?