Roblosophy: Rob’s Fans – Does anyone love you, Rob?

Do they love me? Do they love me not?

Dear Rob,

On the heels of yet another misunderstood and supposedly mean spirited post (*cough* not at all *cough*) about your costar Nikki Reed and her new mystery tattoo I got to thinking about you. Why when we poke fun and rag on you till the cows come home does no one bat an eye? Why doesn’t anyone stick up for you when we tease you like grade schoolers?

We’ve called you some crazy stuff over the past year and a half, we’ve insinuated (and flat out said) you’re gay on numerous occasions. Then we said you’re asexual. We’ve said you watch porn in a basement with the bff you buy underwear with. We call your dad Dick (we love you Dick!). We keep up the charade that you smell like a junior high boys locker room. We knock your sexual prowess at every turn. And we’ve even posted comics about how your face looks like a foot. And yet no real backlash. No emails calling us hookers who hate men. No tweets about how we’re stupid hags who hate Rob but love Taylor Lautner. No comments about us being jealous of Rob or how we’ve stepped over the line.

I’ll wait while you make this your new desktop wallpaper

And yet we can say one off handed thing about Kristen, or even today we can make up totally FAKE tattoo ideas based on things fans have said about Nikki Reed and the crazies come out of the woodwork to tell us we’re awful people.

Why do you think that is Rob? Do people think you’re a big boy who can handle himself and the jokes we make about you? Do you not have committed enough fans like the Krisbians or even Nikki Reeds lovers (we need to make up a name for you ladies) to have your back for everything, no matter what. NO.MATTER.WHAT.

I can’t begin to believe that’s true. Your fans will do practically anything for you. They build shrines and human shaped Rob pillows with your face on them. If anyone is committed it’s YOUR fans. But why don’t they raise hell for you over the dumbest stuff? Like pretty much everything we say about you. Are your fans too busy making Rob porn or staring at their cardboard cutouts of Edward in the closet (where they belong!) to be bothered by it? Or are they just in on the joke and understand it’s all in the name of good fun? It is the internet after all. This is the place where gopher’s can be famous for throwing some side eye over their shoulder, or where there’s a site totally devoted to awkward family photos. It’s supposed to be ridiculous, right?

Or maybe you’ve proven yourself in public, in interviews,  and at events that you’re good natured and can poke fun at yourself, whereas some of the other people we joke about aren’t quite as comfortable with themselves in a public forum? I don’t really know but I want to know what all YOUR fans think out there. Why is there such a staunch backing and support for people like Kristen and Nikki and some others but when it comes to you it’s anything goes? Riddle me that, Rob. Or rather have your fans tell me.

But seriously, the foot thing? Still makes me laugh,

Tell me what you think. Why the outrage when we poke fun at someone else but when we diss Rob, no biggie? What should we call the staunch Nikki Reed supporters?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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