I’ve been away from you for over two weeks and I know you’ve undoubtedly cried yourself to sleep every night, drowned your sorrows in a few cases of beer and even flown to Montreal thinking I said I would be in Canada and not Africa. Oops tiny mistake on your part. But alas I’m back and I’ve missed SOOO much but UC and the crew here have kindly filled me in but as luck would have it I made it home just in time to Break Down THE PICTURE from what is now being dubbed Moantreal. Yea, you’re up there kissing on ol Stew. Some welcome back. THANKS A LOT.
The one where they just won’t let us forget
UC: okay well, should we DO this!?
Moon: YES lets DO THIS… so what the HALE has been happening since I’ve been gone. I’m mildly interested.
UC: ha…i’m barely interested…well,i feel like i need to research to remember what happened last week and since it’s SO timely i feel like we need to just discuss the biggest news since Taylor found out he resembles an Alpaca….The Robsten kiss outside of a Montreal House party
Moon: oh god im already sad… outside a house party?! they really are forever 17
UC: otherwise known as……. “I always open mouth kiss my lover before heading into a party- oh wait look there’s a photographer oops i hope they didn’t catch me!” Otherwise known as… They knew the photographer was there.
Moon: otherwise known as everyone was starting to forget about robsten/twilight/new moon/eclipse/throwing money down the toilet and making summit rich, LOOK THERES A CAMERA!!
UC: and.. Moon this is the best part you can see TOM STU standing there. THEY MADE OUT in front of TOM STU!!!
Moon: They ARE stuck in high school! this is what happens parents when you let your children be actors too soon. they miss out on formative things like making out in front of a house party in high school and now theyre forced to do it while the world is watching
UC: Now let’s clarify lest the Robsteners call us those who think Robsten is a PR-ploy…. I do NOT think that. I do however 100% think they knew there was a camera there. NO ONE OPEN MOUTH KISSES before going in a party.. and in front of Tom stu… unless you’re over it and want to be caught
UC: so.. good for them… they’re OUT. and I don’t know about you…. but I felt the magicness emanating from their open mouth kiss
Moon: i still have not seen the open mouth party kiss. should i open it now?
UC: oh you haven’t seen!? omg this will be epic yes. please Open…. if i Had time I’d make you a video… with the pictures and the hallelujah chorus playing but… that would take me 3 minutes and i really don’t have 3 minutes to give to robsten from here on out known as “open-mouth-kissing-sten”
The one where I finally see IT
Moon: wait what are all those dots?! did some crazy robstener pop out from a bush nearby with confetti and threw it into the air when they started kissing?
UC: yes, that’s exactly what I did. i Mean what they did
Moon: then a disco ball fell from the ceiling, a publishers clearing house person walked out with a big check and kool and gang played Celebration?
UC: And it started snowing. IN august that’s what the magicness does changes the seasons
Moon: THATS the power of robsten
UC: effs with Mother Nature
Moon: and their magicness… they ARE mother nature
Moon: wow this is was underwhelming
UC: hahhaa sorry- did I build it up too much?i mean.. .can you actually tell that there is liplocking? or are they just holding each other close? teaching tomStu how to do it- there’s a girl inside he’s hoping to get stuck in the closet with for 7 min. in heaven
Moon: its just not what i imagined… but i guess real life kissing cant compare to the fireplace and the bearskin rug in my fantasies, i mean the lemony fan fic i write, i mean the delusions in my brain
follow the cut as we figure out if they’re kissing or not, what kind of camera the paparazzi were using and what fabric is only allowed to touch Rob’s skin
Tags: , canada, confirm, Dick, house party, Jersey Shore, Katy Perry, kissing, Kristen Stewart, mom and dad, montreal, Nonsten, Pattinson family, Plaid shirt, Rob, robert pattinson, Robsten, shirt, Teen Choice Awards, tom sturridge