No I’m not talking to your fans here or the crazy Twihards, I’m talking about your new costar: Paul Giamatti
Hey Paul, I think I speak for all of us when I say: “Get in line, friend!” We’ve got over 2 years of official stalking going on here. I don’t care if you’re costars or whatever. You have no official/secret documentation of your stalkership. Thus we must pull rank and insist you get to the back of the line.
BUUUTTTT we will make some exceptions… If you promise to do the following we may let you close to the front:
1. Word on the street is that in your movie with Rob he drives around in a limo all day and if we take a wild guess and assume YOU’RE the limo driver, can you promise us one day on set while you’re doing exterior shoots driving Rob around, you hit the lock button on the limo and then drive the limo to the nearest city where we live (UC is in Philly), unlock the doors, slow down to 10mph honk and wait for us to jump in? Can you do that? After that, you can ditch the limo, we don’t care. Go get a philly cheesesteak. Whatever.
2. You take your Sideways wine info and leftover bottles of vino to lure Rob into your hotel room/apt/whatever, get him drunk and then ask him all kinds of questions: do you read LTR daily or have an email alert? Did you “get lost” near a church in Vancouver just so LTR would blog about it? Do you call up TomStu for a photoop outing when you think the LTR girls have been good?
3. Fly down to Baton Rouge on the guise of “getting to know your future costar better” take secret cell phone camera shots of the set and any scenes involving Dadward and Renesmee and then send them back to us as proof that filming is actually occurring and not just one big Texas Hold ‘Em tourney in Rob’s hotel room.
Ok, if you promise to do these things we’ll let you into the stalking…. I mean FAN club. But we’re NOT drinking ANY merlot!
Who doesn’t love a Sideways joke?
PS check it I double blogged over at ltt today also! Someone love me right now!
PPS If you’re a lovely reader from somewhere in Europe and if you don’t mind saying where you’re from in the comments, I’m doing a little research for a possible trip n things… please and thank you!
Tags: , Breaking Dawn, Cosmapolis, Limo, Paul Giamatti, robert pattinson, stalker, Twilight