The case of Summit Vs. Biel

Dear Rob,

Pass this on to Summit, since you’re hanging out with him err them for the next 6 months:

We heard you used your powers of evil to threaten Biel that her You Tube channel would be deleted. You know who I’m talking about- the girl who made those brilliant montages of your leading man’s (Rob’s) life- his photo-shoots, his movies, his hottness- set to fun dancy music. It saved us many a Saturday AM when we had nothing to post. It got many of our weekends started. It even woke us up on Sunday mornings & it picked us up when we were done.

No need to see this on the big screen. This 150 px image will suffice

But Summit, I’m here to tell you that I’m on your side. Besides filling us with utter joy when we watched: 100% Robert Pattinson Content: Pure Unadulterated Sexy Bliss parts 1-7 on replay for hours each Saturday morning, it also kept money out of your pocket. That’s right- Biel’s hot Rob-montages with an occasional clip from a movie you own the rights to were so satisfying that people stayed away from Rob’s movies, keeping money from your corporate accounts. I bet your CEO even had to fly coach a few times because of the damage Biel inflicted. While it was only her intention to “wet our whistle” with a clip of Rob as Edward or Tyler from Remember Me, instead what it did was gave us A HUGE ROB overload that we didn’t want anymore. Instead of “Who was that!? What was THAT FROM? I gotta run out and spend $12.00 right now at AMC Theaters” we thought, “He’s alright, but I’d rather watch You Tube videos all day rather than see him on the big screen. I hear that Justin Beaver kid makes videos too?” I mean seriously, who would want to watch a  Rob or Twilight movie when you have You Tube videos to gaze at all day? Forget comfy stadium seating & big screen 12 ft Rob- forget delicious buttery popcorn & a 108 oz Diet Coke. All I need is 2 inch computer Rob, a spot on my bed on top of a lumpy pillow, a bowl of Orville Redenbacher’s and a glass of flat diet coke from the bottle I found stashed in the back of my fridge from a Labor Day picnic.

I bought myself a poster-sized version of this after I fell for Rob

If you couldn’t tell my from scathingly sarcastic last paragraph, I think what you’re threatening is pretty sucky. Buttttttttttttt…. I understand it. Using pictures & videos & clips that don’t belong to you, at the end of the day, is against the law. And you have the rights to the video clips so you can enforce that if you choose. And if you make exceptions for Biel- then the guy who is selling Eclipse DVDs illegally on the street corner (you have that guy on your street corner, right? I kinda live in the ‘hood, so maybe it’s just me. But I swear the other day a guy said “Hey honey… want me to hook you up with Eclipsey. I got the good stuff” Ohhhhh wait…. maybe he wasn’t asking me if I wanted an  Eclipse DVD…… That could have been Ecstasy. Hmm.. scratch that point) Anyway, THAT guy, if he is selling illegal DVDs or profitting off of your copyrighted material could argue- “but “Biel” does it & you don’t go after her.”  We get it- you have to have a rule & stick to it across the board… but it sucks. Because what she does actually makes you money. People like Biel who have made incredible videos starring Rob Pattinson have made me want to pay my $12 per ticket and buy my popcorn & big ass Diet Coke and see him on the big screen even more. If you spend 5 seconds & read one of the many “How I fell for Rob Pattinson” letters we’ve posted on here, there is a pattern: Girl sees Twilight, Girl can’t stop thinking about Edward, Girl googles guy who plays Edward, Girl finds videos of Rob Pattinson, and the rest is history. Then How to be makes money & the people who made Ring of the Neiblings can stop living in boxes under a bridge in Sussex. You’ll cash in with sales of Remember Me and Twilight paraphanalia & then anything you own with Rob’s name or face on it- you win. All because of Biel. And all creative fans like her.

Rut-roh

At the end of the day, maybe it’s your material, but what’s it really hurting? Why not wait until fans cross that line & cash in on what they don’t own before going after them? Because all it does is piss them (and us) off. And while I try to separate it from Rob, sometimes it makes me think for a quick second, “Does Rob know Summit does this- and is he okay with it?” I don’t want to think that. Don’t make me think bad about Rob for even a split second just because you’re the big bad wolf. So all that to say….. Biel is just a really dedicated Rob Fan. We all are. And that’s really good for you.  Some people write blogs; some people steal photos and make wallpapers; some people are creepy stalkers and follow Rob all over the world and then some people make videos. You gotta pick your battles, ya know?

And one of those battles should be: WIGS. And covering budding bald spots on your main character (it’s called “Just for Men” hair department!) not fans making videos of CLIPS of Rob.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

PS: Biel- start a Vimeo channel. We’ll need something for this Saturday :)

Can I get an AMEN?

Did you know about this? What do you think? The truth is it is copyright infringement but let’s face it- everyone does it. Was it really necessary to go after Biel? She wasn’t selling bootleg Eclipse DVDs. She wasn’t even selling her Videos. Are Summit the big mean bully? Do you enjoy blaming Summit as much as we do for stuff that isn’t always their fault but really have fun when it IS their fault? Are you going to spend the rest of your day watching all of Biel’s videos in case Summit makes good on their threat?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

193 Commented


Rob MIA from Eclipse International Press. Why? He’s got a GREAT reason!

Don't worry about me guys, too busy stuck in this doorway to head to other countries

Dear Rob,

So either you got hella lucky by scheduling a film during Eclipse press time or you have Summit by the balls because you haven’t had to leave my fair city of Los Angeles to travel the world and schlock Eclipse like Taylor and Kristen have. And they can’t give the New Moon excuse of you being more of a peripheral character so you’re not as integral to the press for the movie cause Edward is all up in this one, like a Twihard at a 100 Monkeys show or an LOD-er at a Britpack show, or Ascot Phil in Bobby Long’s biizzzznnnaaaassss. You get the picture.

So I’m gonna go with the latter. You tell Summit how high you want to jump and they say ‘that’s perfect Rob! We’ll send over a fruit basket and keg to your undisclosed location in the woods/hotel/car park of In-N-Out.” Well, work it dude cause the more you stay here in LA the more that gives me opportunities to “run into you” and also it saves me a TON of time because now I don’t have to watch interviewers from Germany awkwardly ask you about your alleged relationship with Kristen and you don’t have to spin it into a story about body odor or male pregnancy. THANK YOU! I truly owe you a lot for this.

I now have a lot more time to pour over the hours of Stephenie Meyer interview tapes or try to figure out how to hack into your parents GPS system so it routes them right to my front door. They’ll have a lot of fun, trust me. I have a bbq grill and enough scrapbooking crap to last 10 lifetimes, what more could a Mom and Dad want?

Who knows what you’re up to cause if you’re not with me or in my presence I don’t want to think about it, cause having you within the same city limits as me and not knowing where you’re at is maddening. Really, what could you be doing? You haven’t been seen anywhere, shooting anything, doing anyone… that is until today when this picture surfaced from a new photoshoot…


If THIS is what you’ve been up to instead of heading off to foreign lands than NEVER LEAVE AGAIN! PLAY ON SIR… PLAY ON!!!!!!

If you haven’t already made this your new computer desktop wallpaper than now is the time… don’t worry, I’ll wait.

Off to find this dried up patch of land with a brooding Rob in it! Peace out bitches!
Themoonisdown

So what’s Rob been up to since we last saw him at Leno? Besides stalking UC and me at the SMeyer interview… How quick did this become your new wallpaper? Why do you think he’s not traipsing the world promoting Eclipse?

New hottness photo from Robert Pattinson Life

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

95 Commented


Remember Me DVD will feature a Rob commentary: There is a God!

Dear Rob,

Since Summit’s no dummy they’re releasing Remember Me on DVD this month during the big Eclipse PR bonanza. They probably realize they really only have you until Breaking Dawn is over so they’re gonna milk it for all it’s worth. Which is smart. So since we’re gonna have access to your hot sex scenes and fight scenes from the comfort of our own bedrooms on June 22nd the press is starting to roll out. I just caught this feature on the LA Times blog that drops some seriously good info on your DVD COMMENTARY!!!! Whoohooo!! If there was one thing missing from the New Moon DVD it was you on the commentary but thank you baby Jesus, Summit forced wrangled you into a sound studio to record what I’m sure to be awesomeness we will love for all time.

So of course I have a few things to say about it…

Taking the lead for our favorite factoid: Pattinson’s dirty journaling. Playing the broody Tyler, the actor spent most of the film scrawling mysteriously in a leather-bound notebook. “On set I kept on going up to Rob and saying, ‘You’ve got to write in your journal, mate,'” producer Nick Osbourne said.

Said Pattinson: “I remember writing all these kind of pornographic poems, whenever there was a close-up on it. Horrible, horrible things in bold capital letters.”

So far I've come up with Boob, moob, tube, scoob, dube...

I can only imagine this going down… you trying to figure out how to rhyme words like boobs and ass with Heineken and kick ass. It’s truly the only way you can describe your favorite stuff. This explains those pained expressions you were making in the movie. It wasn’t you emoting about losing your brother or having a strained relationship with your dad, it was you thinking REALLY hard about how many syllables are in cunnilingus.

Other amazing insights into Rob’s soul include …

His sex scene was scary: Pattinson was “terrified” during his boom-boom moment with De Ravin. More so, he was sympathetic to the director of photography, “who had to look deep into my … crack for a long time.”

Crack is whack ya’ll even if you’re filming a love scene and you have a weird bra type modesty pouch over your man bits. No one needs to see the crack of doom.

His mother was appalled at the thought of a tattoo: Pattinson’s character has his brother’s name inked on his left pec as a memorial. When his mom saw it in the “Remember Me” trailer, she called him immediately. “I was like, ‘Really, do you think I tattooed ‘Michael’ on my chest?”

Wait, Tom is spelled T-O-M?! NOOOOOO my tattoo is all wrong

No, but you would definitely get a tattoo of “Tom” on your chest… or maybe Rob + Tom = bros 4 life (In old English of course) Next to an Olin Mills style portrait tattoo of you two.

Fans take note — when in Los Angeles, he reads scripts in a fast-food restaurant parking lot: “I was in an In ‘N Out burger car park where I used to always read scripts. … I realized I liked the character Tyler in the first four pages.” Perhaps he celebrated with a Double-Double.

USED TO?!! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!! There’s about exactly two In-n-Outs this could be and that kills me. I guess this saves me from looking like a creeper by hanging out in the In-n-Out parking lot for hours on end knocking on windows and looking in the back seat for you.

He’s not shy about his frustrations with the paparazzi: As the film’s New York shoot was plagued with photogs, almost every scene in the “Remember Me” commentary comes with some anecdote about the invasive shutterbugs. “They showed absolutely no respect for anything,” Pattinson remarks.

I’m not sure I would classify those crazy whacko pyscho girls who chased you down paparazzi but Harvey Levin might give them an internship at TMZ at least.

Big dramatic fight scenes (like in, um, “Eclipse”) bore him: Pattinson gets roughed up by costar Chris Cooper in the film, and loved every minute of it. “It’s probably the most fun I’ve ever had in a scene,” he says of being slammed against the hood of a car. “Normally the fights are so choreographed, it makes it boring.”

Must. resist. this. video. clip. send. help. now. can't. resist.

Oh we loved every minute of it too… maybe a little too much Rob. I seriously contemplated my sanity after I watched that video of you filming that fight scene like 50 times. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle having it in a high def version in my own house. A hit of the good stuff any time I need it.

Rob does a mean Barney Gumble: Pattinson randomly bursts out in an impression of resident derelict Barney from “The Simpsons” on the commentary track. And it’s actually pretty spot on.

I’m crossing my fingers he does his best Patty and Selma impression on the Eclipse DVD commentary. Nothing like a hot man impersonating the voices of a couple cougarish chain smoking sisters. HOT.

As you can tell I’m super excited about the possibilities of the DVD commentary only this means I may have to enter rehab to get me off the bad stuff that fight scene clip. And now that I’ve finally figured out who Aidan looks like (my old high school crush/bff/boyfriend stolen by my friend) I can finally stop staring at him wondering how I ‘know’ him and watch that fight scene. Again.

The answer’s four, in case you were wondering…
Themoonisdown

Who’s looking forward to this DVD release now that we know we’ll get a Rob commentary! Maybe he’ll eat “cheeseburgahs” and tell the guys he gets in a fight with to “be simple guys.”

Business Time:

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Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

134 Commented


It'll be our little secret – Robert Pattinson, Boy Model!

My mom is a Modeling Agent...

My mom is a Modeling Agent...

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus and blog editors and fans everywhere-

Can we all just agree that THIS never happened? And stop posting these pictures everywhere?

It seems like just the moment my brain has been cleansed of these glamor shots a new set of these retched Miu Miu pictures resurface.

Why God, WHY???

And the caption “Robert’s First Time?” If nothing else screams Skeezy McGee, than these do, Star Magazine! Who do you have working for you, some creepy pedi rejects from “To Catch a Predator?” And their whole job is finding disturbing pictures to post from stars first gigs? Where do I sign up??  I mean… uh gross!

muimui02

My eyes are up here... LADIES???!!

Of all these creepster photos, this one to the right is the one that looks most like Rob NOW but also the most disturbing. The pose, the oddly strewn tie/scarf and what looks like daddy’s old boxers which turns out are apparently swim trunks. WTF was the stylist thinking?

Just please, I beg of you… MAKE IT STOP! Have we not suffered enough this week with the whole TUCK Scandal ’09 and now THESE!

I don’t know how much more my heart can take… I’m gonna have to hit up some old Saturday Morning Delights to cleanse the palette AGAIN.

Loving you no matter what… but please stop!
Themoonisdown

PS where the heck are some new press pics for NEW MOON?! Hello, Summit? We’re dying… THIS is what we’re dealing with right now, PLEASE for the love of God help a sister (and some brothers) out and throw us some new HOT Edward pics. Or the Wolves! The Wolves…

Pics from Robsessed!

As of this am we are WINNING in the Dazzle Awards! ZOMG! But by like nine votes…. We NEED to win this award that means nothing. WE NEED TO. So vote for us NOW. Vote MULTIPLE TIMES (I find that in order to vote multiple times in a day you have to use different computers and/or different browsers. Perhaps you can head to the library, sign onto all 20 of their computers and use their 2-3 different browsers. kThxBai) Dazzle Awards Biatch

761 Commented


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