OMG You went out and did something quasi interesting and got caught doing it so now I have something to sorta write about! Congrats. To me. What is it you did exactly? Well, (drum roll please) you went out and bought some furniture! Ok, more so home accessories but we’ll take what we can get and we will LIKE it.
So you went to this place called T.I.N.I. aka This Is Not Ikea. LOLZ AND Furniture, go you! So anyway this places is essentially a store made up of stuff you could come get out of my garage for free.
Case in point this lamp you bought:
This lamp is 85 bucks. I’m pretty sure I would pay YOU in free beer to come take this out of my garage or you could find it out back in the dumpster that’s clogging up the alley way next to the homeless guy who will make you an amazing deal on “vintage” clothing. Aka his shirt and pants. Cause you’re into that look.
The store also contains weird shit you’d see on Regretsy, like this lamp. Cause you wouldn’t want a decapitated giraffe as your light source? Only 115 dollars and you too could curl up next to a headless giraffe and read that tattered copy of National Geographic from 1972 you picked up near the T.I.N.I register. Buuuut you didn’t go with the Giraffe lamp you went with this gem…
Yup, this elbow bar from Home Depot and left over light from the set of Harry Potter is now yours for 385 and placed next to this stool from Heidi’s milk maid barn it’s a real steal at 60 clams…
Ok, so I totally dogged on everything you bought because where’s the fun in being nice and saying good job on being an adult? That’s right, there is none. I would actually like to see how you’re putting this in your new home and how this is all gonna work out, cause it could look pretty cool if done right. So yea, invite me over. I’ll keep my silent judgments to myself, I swear. And I’ll bring you a lamp/coffee table/coat rack/broken desk chair from my garage as a house warming gift.
PS T.I.N.I., I’m pretty sure this IS Ikea… just sayin. And I actually want to visit your store.
So what do we all REALLY think of Rob’s purchases? What’s your fave furniture store and/or look? Are we all super sad that Rob didn’t publicly buy plaid curtains and a plaid couch like the “Palatial Pad” has??? Sad Panda!