(join us for a letter of confession about Beaspoon’s addiction and we’ll meet in the comment for RA – Robaholics Anonymous. xo-moon)
Have you ever watched that show “Addicted” on TLC? Probably not, I don’t really take you for a reality television watcher, but judging by the title you can probably guess what it’s about. Addicts dealing with drug or alcohol problems go on the show to work with a drug counselor or go into rehab and try to get their lives back. I watched this show and couldn’t help myself, but the entire time I was thinking about you. Not because YOU need to go into rehab or have an addition problem or anything like that, but because I have an addiction problem. I’m pretty much addicted to you.
I’m not like one of those crazy teenage girls who stalks you at your premieres and film sights, oh no. I think I might even be worse than they are because at least their addiction is out in the open. They’re screaming your name and are wearing Team Edward shirts and have Edward pillowcases that they sleep on and they swoon over you with their friends. It’s a group affair. It’s fun. It’s not what I’m going through at all.
I’m a closet addict, Rob. Not even my husband, the person who I spend nearly all of my spare time with, knows the extent of my addiction. And the worst part is that I don’t even really know how it happened. Somehow, sometime over the past year since I discovered you, I’ve started needing little hits of you to make it through my day. I’ve tried to be strong, Rob, really. Some mornings I wake up and I feel powerful and I say to myself, “No! I will not even turn ON my laptop today. No Rob for me!” and then an hour or two later I am biting my nails, and by lunchtime I convince myself that I should probably at least check my e-mail. I fire up my laptop and just barely peak at the picture of you on my wallpaper–I swear. But then the kids are napping and I am all alone and that’s when the frenzy hits. And I just can’t help myself, I am shamelessly clicking on all my favorite Rob-sites, drooling over your latest pics and reading my fanfic updates. Then I feel ok again, calm and happy, and I put away my computer, and it starts all over again. Watching the clock and waiting for bedtime so I can get my next fix.
I’ve never been addicted to drugs or alcohol, thankfully, and I am sure that my addiction to you pales in comparison, Rob. But really, maybe they SHOULD make a show for people like me. Or at least a support group- although I wonder if I could find anyone to be my sponsor if I started attending Roboholics Anonymous meetings? Maybe we could just all sit around and look at pictures of you and….wait, not helping. Crap, I think it’s time for another hit, excuse me while I peruse the WFE blog…
Craving You and (still) Crazily Yours,
Big hand to Beaspoon and altogether now…. THAT’S NORMAL!! Also… Bea, you have us. You’re not alone, ever! So do you feel addicted and even worse a closet addict because you don’t share your Robsession with anyone?
Tags: , Addicted, closet, fan, Fan letter, robert pattinson, robsession, Team Edward, TLC