The (disturbing) dirt

Dear Rob,
I woke up this morning all excited to see what the news and blogosphere had to tell me today about you. Would we get a Rob sighting today!? Or maybe at least some more outtake photos from the Twilight promo days (preferable sans KStew) Well, there was some new news.. but I’ll be honest… I’m not sure I like any of it…

  • For 3 seconds I believed this and my heart was heavy (aka I almost killed myself) until I realized I’m just an idiot and should look at the name of the sites I enter. 
     
  • Rob, I have no words. I mean, if you really wanted to take a bath, couldn’t you have just come over and let me help you, instead of letting that dude help?
     
  • People have a lot of time on their hands to keep photoshoppping your head on ugly modeling photos. Stop it people!
     
  • So, this isn’t disturbing at all but I had to end on a high note. I got so gooey inside when you looked at Kristen at the end of this vid and all I could think was: I could never be an actress, at least not around you, I literally would, well, jizz in my pants when you looked at me…

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HXtu0wkqdY&eurl=http://www.google.com/reader/view/&feature=player_embedded] 

Happy Friday! Loves xo
(UnintendedChoice)

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The Dirt (pictures edition)

Dear Rob,

I like when there are new pics of you for me to drool look at very respectfully. (although, since you have longer hair in these pics, I know they’re technically not new)

Are you smiling b/c you know you'll meet me someday?

Are you smiling b/c you know you'll meet me someday?

Where are your mommy and daddy vampires?

Where are your mommy and daddy vampires?

Hey themoonisdown, wanna do me a favor and get rid of that annoying "A" in photoshop? xo

Hey themoonisdown, wanna do me a favor and get rid of that annoying "A" in photoshop? xo

Sigh, just ignore Kristen, I do.

Sigh, just ignore Kristen, I do.

Thanks to the girls at Robert Pattinson life for the pics.

Love, me (xo)

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The (Defamer) dirt

Dear Rob,

Defamer has been loving you (and other Twi-stuff) this week:

Okay, let’s talk about what you apparently said to that girl in your days before Twilight.

“If I could, I’d have a ____ on the inside of my elbow so I could lick it all day long.”

Um, sweetie? What did you actually say to the girl? Because some things come to mind…. and those things aren’t the sweet things that come out of the mouth of the beautiful man (you!) who sings Never Think.

I’m a generally positive thinker, so this is what I’m guessing you actually want to lick:

  • a picture of UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown
  • a little tiny kitty cat
  • a big slice of pepperoni pizza
  • Jonathan Taylor Thomas (stolen from the comments in the defamer post and too good not to repost here!)
Oh, to be a bird in your cage

Oh, to be a bird in your cage

If you did happen to say what it sounds like you might have said, I’m willing to forgive you.  My guess is you got drunk with Sam Bradley and he dared you to say it (any insight on this Sam?). Or I know things weren’t going so well for you a year ago- failing career, couldn’t get a date, etc. etc., so maybe you just had a slip-up and thought that’s what girls wanted to hear.

I think you know this now, but just to clarify: most girls don’t want to hear that. (I know, I know.. reading the comments on our site, you’d probably beg to differ that there are a few girls out there that would take ANYTHING you’d say)

Just an FYI for the future, stick to brooding, dazzling & singing next time you’re trying to pick up a girl! Or, here’s a thought, don’t try to pick up any girls. Just wait patiently for me to figure out how to juggle a husband AND you at the same time (without breaking any of those vows I said on 6/2/06)

Love,
me (UnintendedChoice)

What do you guys think Rob actually said?

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