Enter the Wu… and the Rob

Dear Rob,

Vancouver just continues to keep providing the gems… besides just giving us actual updates on what’s happening and the random paparazzi picture you continue to keep taking the most amazing fan  photos. First, we got this hum dinger (yes, hum dinger) with the most amazing creep eyes in the background and now we have THIS jewel to add to the crown…

Yes, this is you english boy Robert Pattinson in a….. WU TANG hoodie. Yes, WU TANG as in Wu Tang Clan as in Ol Dirty Bastard, RZA, Ghostface Killah, Raekwon, and Method Man among others, that Wu Tang clan.

After some very fond memories about High School and the Wu’s music, I got to thinking what could the acronym  C.R.E.A.M. stand for besides one of their most popular songs Cash Rules Everything Around Me which seems pretty appropriate for the bizzznaaass you’re in. Regardless here’s my list…


  • Carnivore Rob Enjoys All Meat
  • Carrying Rabies Everywhere Airlines Meander
  • Classy Rob Enjoys All Men
  • Complacent Rob Envies  Alex Meraz
  • Cruddy Rob Emaciated and Mangey
  • Cullen Rosealie Edward and Meyers (their accident law firm in Forks, WA)
  • Casting Rob Endangered All Men

Then I thought what if that C was really a K…. and this happened:

  • Kristen Rules Everything Around Me

Heeeeeyyyyoooo! Up top! Preach?! Anyone? No? no…? Ok. So yea I could go on all day (or maybe like 20 minutes) about Wu Tang and how you should protect yo neck and about how after laughter comes tearzzz but I’m sure most of your audience probably don’t have that many fond Wu memories but I’ll go ahead and say this makes my Monday and is now in my folder of best fan photos to some day be posted in some sort of fan photo hall of fame.

Dolla Dolla Billz Yall!

Rob takes the bestest fan pictures ever right? What are your faves and what would you do if ever given the opp to pose with the Robster yourself?

Source: BreakingDawnMovie.org

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Follow the jump for some C.R.E.A.M.

85 Commented

MTV asks us to AskRob and we’ve got some questions

(welcome to me trying to remember my original Wednesday post that got eaten by our server… here goes…)

Josh Horowitz says what?!

Dear Rob,

With Water for Elephants just around the corner all the press is starting to heat up MTV is going to be doing a lil segment with you called Ask Rob where they (duh) ask you questions submitted by fans via twitter to @MTVNews with the hashtag #AskRob. So of course we couldn’t leave Josh Horowitz up to his own fanboy devices so we’ve come up with some questions, if given the chance, we’d #AskRob… cause really we should be asked to interview you cause I can tell you we would NOT be asking about your hair or sparkling or abs. So with that in mind and our self imposed moratorium on questions pertaining to Le Stew and Twilight here is what we would…

Ask Rob

Hmmm how shall I answer this??

  • Why have you not returned any of my calls? #AskRob
  • Follow up question are you planning any bigger jumps in Vancouver or are you going to try a different approach say dancing or leaping maybe? #AskRob


  • If you could only choose one flavor to eat for the rest of your life would be be ham and broccoli or pepperoni and three cheese hot pockets? #AskRob
  • If you became too busy to do errands do you feel comfortable letting Tom Sturridge choose what underwpants you wear for the rest of your life? #AskRob
  • Does Reese make your list of Top 3 MILFS? #AskRob
  • Tell us the truth- did you ever fall asleep with Rosie in the elephant stall? #AskRob
  • Since you’re so close, if Rosie was ever out of a job and asked to crash on your couch would you let her? #AskRob
  • Did you ever slip up and call Christophe Waltz Capt Von Trapp? And moreover would you agree that Christophe is the Christopher Plummer of our generation? #AskRob


  • Tell the truth, is Martin the dog named after the guitar brand or are you just a huge Martin fan? #DaaaaamnGina #AskRob

Then since I’m equal opportunity and I like to be unbiased I asked a guy friend what he would ask Rob if he would. After assuring me he was straight and asking me not to reveal his identity (I’m sure you can guess) and me telling him to “be nicer” he gave me these questions to #AskRob

Don't mind that heavy breathing on the other end of the line, that's just me

  • Have you accepted your slow and unenviable decline into mediocrity and general luke perry-ness yet, or are you waiting until after rehab? #AskRob
  • When did you realize you were gay? #AskRob
  • Do you ever worry that your face is going to get stuck like that? #AskRob
  • How long do you think you can use being British as a cover for you being the weirdest dude alive? #AskRob
  • In the middle of the night, do you ever wake up in a cold sweat screaming DAMN YOU BEIBER!? #AskRob

So maybe not nicer but definitely made us laugh. Clearly we need to be put in a room with you for 15 minutes. We should also be allowed to interview you at some point, but that’s neither here nor there.

Happy Friday!

What would you ask Rob if given the chance? Should we take bets on how long Josh Horowitz waits to ask about Kristen or Breaking Dawn? Have a question but don’t have twitter or don’t want to sully the rep of your feed? Post it in the comments and we’ll ask the ones that make us laugh the most!

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131 Commented

Best Robert Pattinson fan photo ever (next to the boobs one)

Dear Rob,

Since my original post about MTV’s #AskRob got eaten by the server faeries at Media Temple (UGH!) I shall post this instead…

The best Robert Pattinson fan photo to date (except that one where you’re looking at the girls boobs)

Dear Girl in the front,

You are my favorite… ever. I think we all know why.

Oh and Rob, I can’t even be bothered by the weird face you’re making or the fact you JUST saw Red Riding Hood before this was taken, because clearly you read my glowing *ahem* review of the movie and really needed a laugh and clearly you know that these girls just created photography magic and made me laugh really hard.

Happy hump day to us all,

Feel free to share your caption in the comments!

Source: Thanks to BreakingDawn.org where I saw this and you can read the rest over there

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113 Commented

Breaking it down: Rob stars in a remake of Yentl

Dear Rob,

We spent a good part of Wednesday afternoon wondering why everyone was talking about “Amish Rob” and what did that mean? Why were you Amish? Had you grown a beard over night and drove a horse a buggy to set forsaking all modern conveniences? Had you just watched The Witness and got inspired by Harrison Ford and wanted to make a bird house? Had you grown tired of your Rumspringa and joined the church? Turns out some behind the scenes photos from your upcoming Vanity Fair spread had hit the webs… we break it down and about half way through figure out the Amish thing after we made up our own scenario…

Oh hai

The one where we try to figure out what’s going on
Moon: OMG MAN rob vanity fair behind the scenes pics
UC: oh WOW looks ….different
Moon: theres a hat!
UC: that hat! where is he going?!
UC: omg haha that’s so gay SO GAY
Moon: it’s like Lennie from Of Mice and Men
UC: hahahaha
Moon: omg! I have it! Have you seen Yentl??? with Barbra Streisand?
UC: no! but can imagine! he looks jewish… OR AMISH
Moon: now it makes sense!!

Rob the Yeshiva boy!!!

The one where Rob’s Jewish
UC: omg this is gonna be a disaster if this endds up looking hot… i just… will be shocked
Moon: he looks like freaking Anchel or Agvidor or a classmate in Yentl. He’s about to breaking out into “PAPA CAN YOU HEAR ME???!! Papa can you see me? Papa can you find me in the niiiiight?”
UC: hahahahhahahahaha
Moon: this is him off to hebrew school/Yeshiva…

Shabbat Happens

it’s SO that movie. dude if this vanity fair cover is not Yentl themed we’ve been jipped!!
UC: hahahahahahahhaha

I'll be your Schiksa! (This is my life people, I make things like this)

Moon: who is the Hadass in this photoshoot?! because i volunteer to get an AWFUL perm to play hadass!! THAT is committment.
UC: hhahaha
Moon:this will be me playing the role of Hadass to Rob’s Agvidvor and they could even get Tom Sturridge to play Anchel!!
UC: you look just like her with your red hair
Moon: me and Hadass… separated at birth… and tribe…

The one where Canadia rules

What we'll be wearing when we immigrate to the great white north

Moon: DUDE this is the week that just keeps on giving! it’s like nothing for weeks and months on end then BAM we hit the end of February and the world loves us again
UC: of COURSE they’re back in Canada. Canada rules apparently
Moon: canada loves us and wants the best for us. it’s time to immigrate i think. this is a sign
UC: plus it’s apparently really easy to stalk set & get away with it! Screw America
Moon: clearly. TOO many rules and safe guards here. canada likes it’s unsafe and possibly open to crazies. this is where we need to go
UC: plus with Palin 2012 coming up we’ve been talking about where to move
Moon: if palin and glenn beck enter the race, i’m coming for you canada!

I'm a man baby!

The one where we talk about Fan Fic and fail
Moon: can we give it up for this shot?
UC: yeah… that’s hot, i mean… doesnt look like him…kinda looks like Edward but it’s hot
Moon: if vanity fair doesnt want to go my Yentl version of the photo shoot than DAYUM ill be alright with just that photo. he looks like a “man” again
Moon: it’s like we’ve watched him grow from college boy to MAN. woah
UC: WHOA. seriously… he looks like he’s about to make some trades on wallstreet here
and it’s hot. i’d do him at his desk at lunch time as long as he’s not in one of those office spaces where he shares with other junior traders.. since he’s new to trading & works 90+ hour weeks
Moon: you’d rather do him a la THE OFFICE… holler old FF!!
UC: hahaah i forgot about that!
Moon: THAT is this rob

Whips? Chains? Computers? File Folders?

UC: YES he is “whips & chains Rob”
Moon: was that s&m??
UC: yes! The office… oh wait, no??
Moon: isnt the office just about a guy and some secretary? did i mix them up? and wasnt the dom and sub or whatever about s&m??
UC: yes! maybe?
Moon: ff readers everywhere are cringing at us… “this has been an episode of girls who sort of read like 4 chapters of a fic once discussing it now”
UC: did they do it on top of a plate of cookies?
UC: a different type of cookie every day? brought in for an office party? by a sad girl… afraid to sleep? 🙂
Moon: no cookies… was that other one that EVERYONE loved that i never finished
Moon: it was like the first…. OH OH WIDE AWAKE…
UC: hahaha
Moon: this should be a weekly post by us: “moon and uc talk about stuff they dont know anything about!”
UC: Moon & UC review fan fic!
Moon: this sounds like our first twilight convo! “that guy is so cute… what’s his name? robert patterson! from harry potter?” Totally like that. But Yentl… Yentl, I know!

So in the end it turns out “Amish Rob” was “Yentl Rob” in our hearts and we really know bubkitss when it comes to fan fic but one things for sure, we LOVE seeing you out and aboot (yea Canada we got you!) in Vancouver or via pictures from upcoming magazines we’ll wallpaper our laundry rooms in. THIS is what makes blogging fun. YOU!

Papa can you seeeee me??

So what’s you think of Amish/Yentl Rob? Do you want to be the Hadass to his Agvidor? Would you serve him potatoes in your parents dining room? OK, I’m a fan. Clearly.

Source: Robsessed, Absofreakinglutely, other places?

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104 Commented

Used clothing is the Pattinson love language

Dear Rob,

So you showed up to Vancouver & barely looked like yourself. What was up with that “I want my MTV” 80s jacket? We had to take a second to break it down vanity fair style :

The Predicament

Moon: Is this Rob? I’m confused. Who is this Rob-look alike in a whole new wardRobe?
UC: Does this Rob wanna-be have an MTV coat on? An 80s vintage coat?
Moon: New Rob is totally vintage 80s. I love it. It’s like he thought MTV was doing a new round of that show “Wanna be a vj” from the late 90s and this is his audition outfit

Rob “The Predicament” Pattinson

UC: Exactly. Or He’s been watching too much Jersey shore & has really wanted to be invited over for “family dinner” on Sunday so he thought by wearing MTV proudly across his chest Pauly D & The Sitch might recognize him & ask him to join them next summer in Seaside Heights
Moon: He wants to be Rob “The predicament” Pattinson

Trouble on the Home-front

UC: And are those new gray pants?

Moon: yes i think they’re new!! its crazy!! WHO IS THIS MAN?? How did the paparazzi even know who he was? Wearing a sweater with a collared shirt under? He looks so clean I bet the paps couldn’t even follow his stench! Has Claire sent a care package of dick’s old “office outfits?”
UC: Yes. I think she sent SHOE polish too. Because while they look like the old favorites they are mighty clean. Or no- Rob discovered the shoe shiney man at LAX airport! He loves it so much that sometimes he buys an airline ticket for him & TomStu just so they can get through security to have their shoes shined. Then they stop by Au Bon Pain, grab a sandwich to go before heading out. Sometimes they even try out the chairs in Brookstone and rent books at the airport bookstore rental place, returning them the next time they come for a shoe shine
Moon: I like this new Rob.
UC: Me too. Grown up Rob. With Clean(er) shoes.
Moon: And he’s traveling without kristen too… WHAT IS GOIG ON?!!
Moon: Vancouver is like bizarro Baton Rouge/twilight world (Everything is reverse for those not in on the superman lingo.)
UC: Uh, superman dork of the day award.

Rob’s really in love here

Moon:Maybe Rob is like the opposite of everything else. When shit goes bad in a relationship he cleans up, starts shining his shoes, buys new clothes instead of falling apart and looking like a homeless person like every one else when they break up. And Happy in love = Hobo Rob. So clean shiny Rob = single * books ticket to Vancouver *
UC: sad, lonely & looking for a fangirl to F*ck= clean-cut Rob. GET OVER THERE
Moon: I’ll ignore that you called me a fangirl cause I’m on my way to the airport
Moon: I’ll tweet pics of his hotel room whilst he’s in the potty
UC: Please do. And his shirt looks purple.. Gasp! is he wearing a sweater over it? Did you already say that??? Did he join gilt.com? Was HE the one who bought the Marc Jacobs cashmere I was trying to get for Mr. Choice last week?
Moon: hahaha. I think it might be from dick’s “blue phase”
UC: was Dick feeling down then? (Like father like son? While there are problems with Claire, he’s classy & clean cut?) or do you mean he WORE a lot of blue?
Moon: I mean he WORE a lot of blue. Dick probably also made a visit after Rob called them from a NEW cell phone that was actually made in this decade- they got worried
UC: Yep… so not knowing what condition they’d find him in (was their real son beaten to a pulp & left to suffer in a ditch in Baton Rouge, and someone new was pretending to be him?) Dick came with a trash bag full of old clothes. Either for the new guy pretending to be their son. Or Rob… embarrassed, naked & broke, in need of clothes.
Moon: Used clothing is the Pattinson love language
UC: They’re so great. I’m jealous you get to be a part of the family. That’s what you’ll be after you bring Rob a bag of your bros old clothes when you head up to vancity to be the one who gets him out of his clean-cut slump
Moon: I will take him back to dirty hobo in no time. Give me a chance. PUT ME IN COACH!!! I got this!!!

You know we love you in love & as a dirty hobo, but we’re liking this new sad, lonely ready for Moon to make you her lover new-used clothed Rob too! Hell, what are we saying- we just love the fact that we’re SEEING YOU!! Keep it up Vancouver!

UC & Moon

What do you think of Rob’s new “look?” Think it’s odd for Rob to be in something as forward as an MTV jacket? Think it would be more appropriate for him to wearing something saying “Get off MTV’s Dick?”

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114 Commented

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