Dancin’ in the street with the Paparazzi and respecting Robert Pattinson

Dear Rob,

Paparazzi videos usually don’t make me sad but that one definitely did. I don’t know if it’s your sad panda face when you stop the car for the billionth time, the way the engine wheezed thudded to life making it sound like your morning smokers hack or the fact that it’s Sunday night and tomorrow I have to go back to work, but whatever it is that video made me a little sad for you.

Sure, in the grand scheme of things you don’t have it rough at all and some lame dudes with cameras following you around is annoying and a bit of a safety hazard at best. I have to remember you get paid a LOT of money and this is one of those unfortunate side effects that comes with being stupidly rich and famous and good looking.

BUT I do admire your chutzpa in stopping the car and trying to wait them out. Though you know they’ll take pictures and ask you stupid stuff about the loquat crumble recipe and call you “Edward” as long as you let them. So it was a flawed attempt at using logic on the paparazzi, they don’t work that way, sadly. Even when you tried to reason telling them they’d taken “millions of pictures” and that should be enough. It should Rob, it should! But why do they want more? Are they waiting for Kristen to meet you in the parking lot of a fireplace store? Or are they hoping to catch you and John Stamos hanging out at Bob Saget’s house again?¬† It makes me wonder how long you stood out there, in the middle of the street waiting for them to leave you alone, then talking to cops and then most bizarrely talking to that girl about the cars or the Kardashians? I couldn’t tell. Whatever it is that was the most odd part of the evening.

But what can we do as fans? We’ve already been hit up by some emails saying that the respect Rob campaign should be started up again. What were we doing since the last supposed “bad” paparazzi run in that prompted the respect stuff? Disrespecting you? (Nice and slow, right Freya?) Ok, ok just on the occasional Friday when we drop some Rob Porn on the ladies. But really, should we be boycotting mags and their sites and telling people we’re “proud to be paparazzi free?” HALE NAH, cause we love us a good pap picture, without those we wouldn’t have the underwear shopping trip or the wrist holding pic or those blessed Nova pictures from last week? So where does that leave us?

Prompted by your own mid-street stand-in I propose as a way of showing our respect that all Rob fans walk into the middle of the street tomorrow at noon for a moment of silence and sad panda faces in remembrance of your weekend paparazzi show down. Now if we happen to obstruct traffic, or ask your coworker to follow you into the street with a point-and-shoot digital camera to reenact the moment or repeatedly get into your busted Kia Sephia and crank the engine than that’s just bonus points. Super fans will go the extra mile to show how much they respect your street side showdown.

In an effort to make this not such a sad video can someone please remix this and add the song “Dancing in the Street” by Martha and the Vandellas so that our new Respect Rob movement will have a theme song and now every time a Rob fan is out drunk Karaoke-ing and this song comes on we all have a moment of silence to let the paparazzi know we will NOT stand for this any long. But we WILL stand in the street!

Now it’s time to start taking photos of ourselves in the middle of the street so we can post them here to show how much we’re REAL Rob fans.

You agree I assume, right Rob? You’ll join us next time Dancin’ in the Street comes on the oldies station in the Nova?

Themoonisdown

Thoughts on the video? Does it make you a little sad and distressed to see Rob out of sorts and annoyed by the paparazzi? Cause it does for me. Who’s going to do a street stand in to show their respect and Rob? Make sure you send us a picture! ūüėČ

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

207 Commented


Open Post: Hosted by Robert Pattinson, all man!

Dear Ladies who love Rob-

Rob would like you to know, via this video, he is a man! ALLLL man. Enjoy.

XO,
Your faithful servant


Dear Rob,

Thank you for contracting this lovely fanvid maker to try and help convince us that you are in fact, a man. We’ve called you gay and fey and bumbling and bromantical and everything else but we see your game now. You just want us to respect you and stop calling you names. You’re a man baby and we get it!

Now get in that Nova and come show me.

XXX,
Your faithful servant, Moon

PS Happy Freaking Weekend!

Video by Robelied

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

108 Commented


I feel dirty…No, really I do.

(Moon here, today I moved into a new place and wouldn’t you know it, the internet isn’t set up. Obviously some Twilight haters work at the internet company and didn’t want me to post today. But BiteMeBaker came to the rescue, and after hauling a¬†refrigerator into my new house, she drove all the way home and posted for me so that you would have¬†something¬†to look at on Friday morning. I’m not going to let a little thing like completely changing households get in the way of providing you with entertainment on this Friday morning. So please to be enjoying!)

Dear Rob,

Were you in LA today? Did you notice how hot it was? I did. Moon did. EVERYONE DID. I think it must have been the hottest day of the year so far. And you know what else today was? Moving day for Moon! Fun times I tell ya. Being the good friend that I am, I showed up at 8:30 pm to help move. Perfect timing. I only had to take one truckload! Although it was still probably in the high 80’s even that late in the evening. Moon’s new house is at the top a hill, a big hill…again. Having shown up so late in the day, all of the really big heavy things were already inside.

But I did manage to do one pretty physically taxing thing, I helped the guy friends unload the new fridge from said guy friends truck. At one point, I was laying across the top of the (very dusty) fridge, holding it in place as it tipped over the edge of the tailgate. Pretty sure the only thing that kept it from falling on the guys toes were my boobs.

Anyhow, moving is a dirty job. Moving in 90+ degree weather is an even dirtier job.  This video (kind of) relates how Moon & I feel right now. We may not have the rich part, but damnit, we sure are beautiful and dirty.*

Dirty where it counts,

BiteMeBaker

*No really, it was gross. BEST showers of our lives.

54 Commented


Open Weekend Post: Smart girl

Dear this girl,

I’m so sorry you were featured on Failblog. When I first saw it, I was outraged. “WHAT!? THIS IS FAILURE? No no no… this is brilliant” was my first thought. Let’s break it down piece by piece.

First of all, we have your outfit. There’s the thick-rimmed glasses with a high necked striped tshirt. We can’t see down below, but I’m going to guess you’re in a nice cargo pant or maybe a carpenter jean. Plus your hair! Nothing says “Let me go down on you now’ like a freshly slept on mousy-brown side ponytail. You’re looking HOT, hunny.

And then there’s the sign itself. You obviously put a lot of time into making sure it was spelled right, placing the dash between the “blow” and “jobs” and even using the correct form of “you’re!” This is a rare quality found in a Twilight fan with a sign! Thanks for making us Rob-fans look good!

And lastly, there’s the courage you displayed by just putting it out there. We all laugh & talk big about what we’d do to Rob behind a dumpster, but would we wear our 7th grade finest and show up on a street in LA with unwashed hair and declare it to the world on a SIGN? I don’t know if I have the balls- but you clearly did. And for that, I think you should be rewarded and not ridiculed by all the readers of the internet.

In fact, I’m pretty sure that if Rob were to pass you on the street today, he’d first notice you by your gimpy hand (those with gimpy feet tend to notice others with a similar disability). And after taking a second look, he’d consider asking you for your t-shirt. And then, his eyes would drift toward your sign- and the connection would happen. The magicness that is usually reserved for Robsten would become yours and Robs only. And despite his fear of getting blown by a girl wearing a retainer, he’d lead you to the nearest dumpster & let you show perform your first act of fellatio ever.

Wish I had thought of it first!

You have a fan in me,
UnintendedChoice

Please let this girl be kidding. Please. Please. Please. Please

Moon & I were just talking today about how we miss super hot & creative Rob vids. It seems like it’s been awhile since we saw the last one. Well, I came across this new video & while it’s not as flashy as some videos of the past, I think you’ll like what it’s offering:

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTT, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

70 Commented


Rob, here’s my fancard I give up!

Dear Rob,

I was all fine with packing up my tchotchkes for the big move (5 minutes from my current place) and  having an emo night by myself until I saw this picture of you surprising the crowd at the IMAX screening of Eclipse in Century City.

FML. I mean really? FML. I’m home throwing photo albums labeled “Bitches and Hos” and framed pictures of my grandparents into boxes and you’re showing up at movie theaters in my city? And speaking of my city… you were downtown filming that movie Water for Elephants (which I will read at the end of the month on my big trip) which is conveniently located minutes from my shack and after RARELY stopping to take pics with fans or even show your smug mug on the Filmore set you stop and take pictures with fans now?! In a Penguin hoodie?! COME ON!

It’s times like these that I can’t take living here. It’s knowing you may be 10 minutes from my house, your trailer at an intersection of downtown that I know very well, you at a movie theater I walked past a week ago, and it’s just you being in my general vicinity that I can’t take. I feel like I’m on high alert all that time, that as any moment I could cross your path. I even thought about (for a hot minute) going to said IMAX theater last night but then I caught a glimpse of my crazy self in the base of the mercury glass candle stick I was packing and remembered I’m not a psycho and should calm the ef down! I repeated the mantra “I am normal… I am normal… do not walk out of this door with your greasy ass hair thinking you’re going to see Rob. Freak… I am normal.”

Unlike this girl…


Though I can’t say I blame her those cardboard cutout things aren’t cheap AND they make a great conversation piece next to all your tchotchkes (isn’t that the best word ever?)… I can’t also blame her because I would have dared someone to do this during the “Truth or Dare” portion of #leghitch2010 only we never got that far, we only dared someone to sharpie a teardrop under Kristen Stewart’s eye and look how that turned out**. Laugh now, cry later, after all. But don’t think we won’t be daring someone to rip off the Breaking Dawn cardboard cutout at a Burger King or Borders during #PillowBite2011. That is SOOO happening.

So even though you’re out running a muck in my city (like how I’ve claimed it for myself?) I just can’t be on high alert anymore, I might go crazy… or worse yet not get my packing done and then I’ll be the crazy girl with no house and a ripped up Edward cutout from Eastern Europe or wherever that was. So I hope you’ll accept my resignation and revoke my fan card for failing to be at any of these events in Los Angeles. But maybe you’ll understand and hand me that special “I’m Normal” card you’ve got hidden in your back pocket for special folks like me?? I can only hope.

CPV!
Themoonisdown

**CALM DOWN I’M KIDDING! I’m SO JOKING about the Sharpie, it was a little girl who accidentally got her sharpie filled hand knocked into Kristen’s face,¬† not us. We have eye witnesses! JOKES PEOPLE! I hate that I have to write this here, but some folks lack of a sense of humor makes me do it**

But anyway… Who wants to pack up my house while I go try to reclaim my fancard? Or is the “I’m Normal” card better to have? Have you thought about using the 5 finger discount on a cardboard Edward in a store near you?

Sources 1, WTE Film

Business time after the cut
Continue…

100 Commented


Previous Entries Next Entries

Creative Commons License


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License
.

LTR Privacy Policy



Sponsored by