Hose 'em down

Dear LTR ladies,

In light of the recent surge of hormone-driven posts, we’d like to keep it real and bring ol’ Rob’s ego back down to earth.

We present you… the worst pics of Rob we could find:

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He gets drunk

nah

He takes pictures like this

robertpattinson19

He wears bows

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He looks like an Icelandic pop-star

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He loves to bite himself

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He gets drunk

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He looks like a villain from a fairytale

He sweats

He sweats

He looks dead

He looks dead

He resembles your creepy uncle

He resembles your creepy uncle

He's the guy your creepy uncle brings to Thanksgiving dinner

He's the guy your creepy uncle brings to Thanksgiving dinner

He gets drunk

He gets drunk

Down, Girl, Down!

Love,
us xo

121 Responses to “Hose 'em down”

  1. FutureMrsPattinson says:

    We all have days like these. I’d still bang him on his worst day!
    I get drunk, he gets drunks=hot sweaty nasty sex!

  2. Nataliae says:

    Is it weird that I like these better than the perfectly staged/lit “beautiful” shots?

    Yes…it is…I know.

    Can’t help it, though.

  3. Leigh Anne says:

    @UC–Icelandic pop star? Awesomeness! That’s just good programming right there.

    Best. Post. Ever.

  4. samantha says:

    haha still love him anyway πŸ™‚
    and for a chance to make over and dress up rob here’s something i stumbled upon in another blog

    http://www.girlgames4u.com/twilight-makeover-game.html

    knock yourselves out ladies!

  5. justme says:

    God….he’s gorgeous!

  6. This is so not helping cause even in his worst photo he’s still pretty dang hot. Except maybe that sweaty photo. And I do completely agree with Natalie, he’s so much hotter in the normal shots, well except that Vanity Fair shoot.

  7. Valerie says:

    UC- Gee thanks, fires out now.
    But,I actually love the look on his face in the 2nd pic.
    Now off to the post with the hot pics…….

  8. Valerie says:

    Forgot to add, I did think he was looking like an “old” man in the pics with the cardigan the other day when I saw the shoot of those.

  9. Wendy says:

    Ok in the pic where he’s “biting himself” am I just delirious or did he write, “You are welcome to my den if sin.” ?? Please tell me he has a den of sin somewhere, I am so there!!

  10. Spank Ransom says:

    That’s so funny because we are discussing Rob’s “ugly face” moment in Twilight over on our blog too. But, really, even his ugly face is hot.

  11. Steph says:

    @Spank – When did this “ugly face” moment occur? (It’s been a while since I was able to watch the movie.) I have a hard time remembering anything past the scene where his face is all wet. I just want to lick the drops coming off of his nose.

    @Samantha – That game is a hoot! When you get past his face and makeup, though, and get to dressing him in actual clothes, it gets creepy. Why did they have to make his body look like something from an alien autopsy? Gross!

  12. Rhonika says:

    Like Natalie I prefer these random, funny, natural pictures of Rob. Those are the pics that made me fall in love with him. He makes me feel like he’s a guy I can hang out with and have fun.
    No 2. is one of my favorites:)

  13. Lauren says:

    LOL! I love the creepy uncle shot. He seriously looks like a chester molester in that pic. One that would drive a scary twinkie van. Maybe even play the ice-cream truck music from a loud speaker, as he drove slowly by.

    I have to agree with Leigh Anne…BEST POST EVER!

  14. Lauren says:

    @ Sophie – Hey! That is a link to MY blog πŸ™‚ Yay!

  15. Steph says:

    @Spank – Just looked at your blog. Yeah. That’s an ugly face. It makes me a little 2nd hand embarrassed for him.

  16. Rhonika says:

    I love the dress up Rob game!
    Thanks samantha:)

  17. Lets go to London says:

    Haha, this pictures are hilarious. When is the winner of the twi-valentine’s contest going to be said? I’m curious =]

  18. LabTwerd says:

    Wendy…that TOTALLY says “You are welcome to my den of sin”.

    Wow. Where my mind can go with that…..

    The creepy uncle is by far, my favorite. I wish I had a creepy uncle like that. Creeptacular.

  19. JBell says:

    @Wendy – Yeah, it definitely says “you are welcome to my den of sin”… *swoon* lol

    And I think he looks sexy in that ‘Icelandic Pop Star’ shot, like he’s just gotten caught doing something naughty. πŸ˜‰

    @UC – I think you’ve started something that isn’t going to go away now. haha

  20. Thanks for bringing us back to reality. I do like living in fantasyland though!! The one of him sweaty gave me a flash-forward moment like when Elvis go fat and not attractive. Shudder..

    They made me laugh though – your captions are dead on!

  21. JustGotWicked says:

    Is it sad that all of his “bad” pics still make me wanna have some sexy time with him? Even the sweaty photo leads my imagination to dark places. And I agree with Rhonika- these are the types of pics that made me realize that he’s normal and down to earth.
    Also, can anyone find this den of sin he is speaking of? i would love to go.

  22. LabTwerd says:

    I wish I knew.

    We need to start an expedition. An exodus. To find this magical place.

    First, we need a name.

  23. Steph says:

    @UC – The suspense is killing us! But, in the meantime, thanks for giving us lots and lots to talk about!

  24. Sophie says:

    So bad that it’s, that’s right, good…except for the Creepy Uncle and his Date…ewww…you guys are so on today!! Thanks for the morning chuckle!!

    And have you see Edward the Doll over here??

    http://laurensbite.blogspot.com/

  25. Vogue says:

    @Just Got Wicked – LOL at Sexy Time! I love that expression; Borat was hilarious!

    Yes, even at his most nasty, I’d jump at a chance for Sexy Time with Mr. Sweaty-bow-wearin’-creepy uncle-fairytale villian – drunk-drunk-drunk Rob!!!

    I do remember reading him say in an interview that for a while before he auditioned for Twilight, he’d gotten fat, and in pic #8 he does look quite bloated. Its amazing how the weight changes his chiseled looks. I don’t think it’s the sweat as much as the puffy face that is throwing us off.

    He’s still gorgeous, inside and out.

  26. Amber says:

    Drunk Rob. Sweaty Rob. Icelandic Pop Star Rob.

    Doesn’t matter…I’d do ’em all!!! In fact, I should do them all, not just one or the other. πŸ˜‰

    BTW – I’m totally down for a trip to his den of sin. Mmmmmm!! I love the way his mind works!

  27. mrs. kat cullen (: says:

    Ladies, I luckily live in Germany and yesterday I bought that magazine with the “Icelandic Pop Star-cover” ’cause it includes a poster of Rob almost as high as I am…I’m 25 and it’s been a long time since I bought this teen-magazine but the poster and the look of the faces in the store were definetly worth it!!!
    And I admit I love all his “ugly” faces…He’s a freaky clown but still sooo HOT *sigh*

  28. robzilla says:

    I can take a hint gals…I will behave with my hormonal posts for now. πŸ™‚

    Loving the creepy uncle caption and the last pic with the T-rex arms!

  29. Kim says:

    LOL! I laughed so hard at the Creepy Uncle pic. LOL! I’m still laughing. He tries to be this unattractive, gross guy so chicks will leave him alone.

    And the sad part? He’ll NEVER be left alone.

  30. krazykidd says:

    Once again…I’d still TAP that…hell scratch that I’d TEAR that ish up!!! LOL πŸ˜‰

  31. SuzieQ says:

    @ UC & Moon

    DID. NOT. WORK.

    he is a gift unto this earth πŸ™‚

  32. “He looks like a villain from a fairytale ” — and…I am laughing out loud. And I’m so repetitive — that is all I post to you guys lately.

    The sad thing is, like others have said, none of these photos matter. No change of opinion.

    But the man DOES take some crazy photos. It’s like he can’t keep his face still for long — the animated expressions! He has so many! I don’t know how he kept still enough to play Edward.

  33. Hey — I just had an idea — do you guys have a blog button/badge for others to grab, to promote you? I would grab — definitely!

  34. Sophie says:

    Okay the bow?? Makes me think of Madonna’s Lucky Star video…totally….

    http://www.mtv.com/videos/madonna/58685/lucky-star.jhtml#artist=1098

  35. Molly says:

    Wow, even considering these pics might not be his “best”… Hot Damn! The boy is on fire!! Creepy, sweaty, dead… I’d gladly take him any day. Haha. Gorgeous, just completely gorgeous… Indeed he is a gift to this planet.

  36. Sophie says:

    *claps hands* yes, please, buttons!

  37. Jena says:

    LMAO @ “He resembles your creepy uncle”! The biting and bow photos are priceless!

  38. Kristin says:

    I have to say….umm…I still got all hot and bothered. I would take him on his worst day, seriously.

  39. mrs. kat cullen (: says:

    @UC: Definetly a German Pop-star and not an Icelandic (though I don’t have any clue what’s going on in Iceland)…But the girls over here go nuts about him…Such a pity it’s only because he’s playing Edward in Twilight, don’t think they can appreciate sexy hot hot Rob ’cause he’s compared to Zac Efron all the time and this really sucks *awwwww*

  40. Natasha says:

    See now its so nice to see this side of Rob, it keeps him grounded and shows the world thats hes just a real guy (we don’t want just anyone knowing what a Sex God he is)

  41. Amber says:

    Can I have an off-topic moment?

    Some guy just called me at work and said his name was Edward. Even though he was clearly old and not British, all I could do was think of Rob… Pathetic, I know!

  42. narisa says:

    stumbled upon this blog yesterday..and what can i say, it’s gonna be one of my daily reads from now on!
    p/s:this post made me giggle to myself ALOT.

  43. JBell says:

    So today is my day to get caught up on what I’ve fallen behind on at the office (and you ladies are partially to blame for me being behind! But don’t get me wrong, it is quite alright! I’d rather be here having a laugh than working anyway!) and I still cannot stay away. How am I supposed to get anything done with you great people being so amazing and funny and witty!? Geeze! hahah I love you all!

    And – am I the only commenter that doesn’t have a DH??

  44. Jena says:

    Lauren, Oh my gosh, I’m laughing so hard at your post I’m crying. “He seriously looks like a chester molester in that pic. One that would drive a scary twinkie van. Maybe even play the ice-cream truck music from a loud speaker, as he drove slowly by.” LOL snort LOL snort LOL snort…. You just made my day, LOL!

  45. English Girl says:

    Pic 1 – yum
    Pic 2 – aw funny
    Pic 3 – still cute
    Pic 4 (German popstar!) – dangerous man!
    Pic 5 – oooh those hairy arms – yum
    Pic 6 – ooh don’t forget my drink too rob
    Pic 7 – Whooooorrr… the hair, the suit, the chest, the beautiful face.

    *THUD*

    Sigh … he’s always gorgeous to me. Charisma – that’s it.

  46. SoWasRed says:

    I would still totally have a threesome with that creepy uncle and his creepy date. They could even both be rocking the traditional creepstache and it would still be on.

  47. FutureMrsPattinson says:

    Not to change the subject. But, you know what is pathetic. How many times I visit LTR a day!
    Its official….

    Dear Rob,
    You are my life now. Just thought I’d let you know.

    P.S. You are still my #1 hottie no matter what kind of condition your in(see amber’s description above)
    P.P.S. I can bend like a pretzel;)

  48. Amber says:

    @FutureMrsPattinson – The Rob I’d enjoy most….Biting Rob!! Yes!!

    “P.P.S. I can bend like a pretzel” LMAO!!

  49. Amber says:

    It’s really sad that there were only 2 or 3 of those pics that I didn’t think were just incredible!

  50. FutureMrsPattinson says:

    Look who is back again!

    @amber I know what you mean

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