Memoirs of a Geisha

Dear Robert and Taylor-

We just wanted to write you boys a letter while you’re in Tokyo to say we really hope you’re out living it up, eating sushi, buying sneakers out of a vending machine, teaching Taylor how to do Sake bombs and buying ridiculous electronics. After that, I can just imagine the two of you stumbling into a karaoke bar and drunkenly singing “Don’t Stop Believing” and “Total Eclipse of the Heart” with your arms around a couple of Japanese businessmen. Then you guys’ll make friends for life with these gents. I can tell, that’s the type of boys you are. Then said Japanese business men will take you to meet with some Geisha’s, and you all can teach young Taylor a thing or two about women (but not TOO much, robbie, he has to come home to Wolfgirl). Let him find out what those gals REALLY wear under those Kimono’s.

Oh and don’t worry about Kristen, she’s too busy back at the hotel crying and commenting about how mean we are to her over at LTT. Oh and Reba McEntire showed up, WTF!?

Have fun and bring me back some Hello Kitty shiz that i don’t have!



After the jump, JBell has done it again with all the best Japan coverage. Thanks girl! XO

Keep checking Twilight Singapore for their coverage!!
Maybe Rob and the gang should just move to Japan… they’re ALL (and yes, even Sourpuss too!) are looking so happy!

Is that a… a… a smile on Sourpuss’s face!?

Exclusive fan photos from Pattinson Online! Luck gals!

The media in the states has been anxious for news too!

Best coverage (picture-wise) of Twilight In Japan:

486 Responses to “Memoirs of a Geisha”

  1. sowasred says:

    Rob’s hair right now = flawless
    That color is heaven and the length is perfection (although I wouldnt be opposed to another inch or two)

    p.s. I heard a rumor that the double neck freckle is drawn on!
    Haha jusssst kidding! 😉 I don’t want to be responsible for any riots or minor strokes.

  2. English Girl says:

    Crikey my hubbie is back soon providing his flight isn’t delayed (he works abroad during the week).

    I’d better get this soppy grin off my face and get with it or he will think I’ve been having an affair.

    (Naughty mind thoughts don’t count ladies do they? They’re just “mind exercise” aren’t they?)

  3. Genevieve says:

    @JBell- Damn those lucky girls! (thinks to self- why them and not us(me)

  4. Genevieve says:

    Rob, you are just a cutie-pie!
    (I’ll have me a slice of that!)

  5. JBell says:

    @Moon – Are you camped out at LAX yet?!

    • Byrdie says:

      Someone needs to camp out at SFO instead cuz I know he is coming in for that Saturday night premiere of How To Be in San Jose. I know he is, I know he is, I know he is (yes, I’m the little engine that IS gonna meet that boy one day).

  6. therealrobzilla says:

    Is it just me or does he seem to always hang to his right?

    I can’t believe I just said that “aloud”

  7. Jena says:

    OK, I have 23 windows open with links, LMAO! It’s either that or I have to start writing them down. This is fab!

  8. JBell says:

    Updated with new pics and such! Read the comments too, they put captions with the pics 🙂

  9. therealrobzilla says:

    Jena, I missed your pretty smile last night. Hope Dion was terrific for you!

  10. Angry Asian says:

    have you ladies seen this:

    really? they’re saying that taylor is hotter than rob? assclowns.

  11. pishposh71 says:

    @UC I moved my blog to wordpress cuz I wanted a gravator of my own so I am now PishPosh71. I used to just show up as Natasha ( Im the one who is in touch with her inner whore and if asked to dinner would put out even if Rob didn’t want me too :)~ (not like the stupid spanish girl)
    I am currently scripting my video, should I go for the pathetic mom who has never had a vacation or the crazy one??? I just dont know what angle to work!
    Today I am saddened cuz it occured to me that as he is English he is likely “uncut” (I know its wrong but I thought this while dumping the dishwasher)

  12. JBell says:

    “*Maria here.. I am sorry this picture is not ‘balanced’. Its cos I called Robert to look at my camera and when he did I got disarmed and took this picture…HAHA I know I am a dork but if he looked at you that way – you’ve done the same. I was dazzled!!*”

    I can’t lie. I let out a low scream of joy…

  13. Jena says:

    Man, my itunes is randomly hitting the perfect songs for Rob today.
    1st verse of Colbie Cailat’s “Oxygen”

    “I came apart inside a world made of angry people. I found a boy who had a dream making everyone smile. He was sunshine, I fell over my feet like bricks under water. And how am I suppose to tell you how I feel? I need oxygen.”

    • Steph says:

      AH!!!! I was just listening to this very song yesterday and I thought about how perfect was for how we all feel about ROB! That’s awesome, Jena! I hit repeat and went to my happy place!

  14. Angry Asian says:

    sorry if this is a repeat. for some reason my comments aren’t showing up.

    have you ladies seen this:

    they’re actually thinking that taylor might be hotter than rob.

    dumb assclowns.

  15. JBell says:

    Am I the only one who is having a really hard time remembering Rob with long hair?? It seems like he’s always had this short hair… maybe I’ve just been looking at so many Oscar – and now premier – pictures that my brain has washed away the other photos…

    He looks so much OLDER and SEXIER and SMOLDERINGLY HOT with the hair. MY GOD if he only knew!

    Don’t get me wrong though! I’d rather have it a tad bit longer… easier for grippage when doing the nasty, naughty sheet tango…

  16. therealrobzilla says:

    Notice how in the singapore pics Taylor is trying to do the Rob pursed lips with eye squint thing?

    Sorry Tay, that is a Pattin’ed move.

  17. therealrobzilla says:


    you are the greatest! Coming up with the whole labeled diagram.

    @Rob’s tummy freckle – I want to lick you on my way downtown!

  18. Ayden says:

    Immaculate consextion, anyone?

  19. JBell says:

    DAMMIT. I keep submitting my comments before I say hi to Jena!
    Hi Jena!!! I forgot you went to Celine last night… someone (I think Gen) asked where you were and I told her you were probably staring longingly at your 5ft poster. lol


    RE: the word “submitting”…

    Dear Rob,
    One of the rules of my new game “Sheet Tango” is that you must submit your banana for judging and I will then submit to you. Keep the scruff and non-gelled hair is a requirement as well.

  20. Sass says:

    @Robzilla…lmao at “Pattin’ed”, hee!!!!

  21. Jena says:

    Hi JBell!!! LOL at the poster. That’s still rolled up. Project for today. Agreed on the hair! THUD!

  22. Sass says:

    For this New Moon contest…do you have to submit a video, or can it be just a written entry as well?

    • Byrdie says:

      I just read all the fine print – video only. Lots of rules…

    • pishposh71 says:

      Ho it is a 1 minute video only!

      • Byrdie says:

        And beware of the clause of DON’Ts: “4) Contain, in the sole and absolute discretion of Sponsor, nudity, profanity, or gratuitous violence, or obscene, provocative, defamatory, sexually explicit or otherwise objectionable or inappropriate content.”

        I think that is going to disqualify most of the lovely ladies here…

  23. Jena says:

    I feel like I just got here, but now I must go shower and go buy my sister a birthday present. Wonder what she’d do if I got her a pocket Edward? LOL! Maybe I will for shits and giggles, LOL!

  24. JBell says:

    I’m just full of letters today… same letter, 3 languages. [English (obv.) Japanese and Chinese]

    Dear Japan,
    As much as it pains me to say this, I think you may keep Rob. We have not seen him this joyful and smiling in a VERY long time. Thank you for making our Robbie happy.

    All of my love,
    いとしい日本、それがこれを言うために私に苦痛を与えて、私があなたがロブを保持するかもしれないと思うのと同じほど多く. 私たちは、この喜ばしい長い間VERYでほほえんでいる時間に彼に会っていません。 私たちのロビーを幸福にして頂きありがとうございます。

    正如使我疼痛说这,我认为你可能保管罗布。我们没有看见过他这欢喜和在一段很长时间微笑。多谢你使我们的 Robbie 变得幸福。

  25. Ayden says:

    @therealrobzilla- I think she got sucked into that entire “Real Life” thing that keeps ruining the Rob fun. She twittered about making websites a few hours ago.

  26. JBell says:

    私の大好きなもの(JBell)の全て – When you translate that back to English is says
    “All of my large favorite things (JBell)”

    Hold the phone Japan!! I didn’t say you could have “all of my large favorite things”! I’m letting you take Rob for a while, but we WILL have shared custody… shared custody of “all of my large favorite things” about Rob.

  27. Kristin says:

    @therealrobzilla – I totally noticed that Taylor is trying to smoulder like Robbie, he is a cutie, but we will let wolfgirl hit that.

    Dear Clare,
    Did any angels visit you and tell you “not be afaid when you become pregnant, for it is Gods will”. I mean, seriously. You can tell me, I will totally believe you. Because this man you hibernated for 9 months? He is perfection.

    Love, Me XOXO
    P.S. I can’t wait to meet you, when Rob asks me to marry him I promise we have have a nice flat in London so you can be close to the grandbabies. I know he doesn’t want kids now, but it would be a crime for him not to procreate. With me.

  28. therealrobzilla says:

    @pishposh – i assume you mean he’s not circumcized? Who knows?

    • pishposh71 says:

      Yes thats what I was getting at. I’m English and its not common practise to be circumsized over there (though it should be law as far as my fantasies are concerned) I would make the exception for him though….

      • Byrdie says:

        Too funny cuz I was wondering the same thing yesterday with all the crotch chatter. Honestly, cut or uncut makes ZERO difference when things are hot and heavy.

  29. JBell says:

    @Kristin – “…but it would be a crime for him not to procreate. With me.” LOL! Agreed! Minus the (with me) part… unless pertaining to me.

  30. Carrie says:

    “Did any angels visit you and tell you “not be afaid when you become pregnant, for it is Gods will”. ”

    I don’t even have words to describe how awesome your letter is.

    I also told Clare we would have a place in London so she visit the granbabies. They are going call her Gramms and Richard will be called Poppy.

  31. JBell says:

    Danny boy Radcliffe is ‘uncut’ as well… not that I know or have seen the pictures from Equus…

    DAMMIT ladies! Start pooling the money! Rob only needs $12 million to get naked! With all of you lovely ladies and the great gals that are still under the veil of lurkdom, we could get to $12 mill in about a month, right? Right.

  32. betony says:

    i think there is some spare change knocking about in my purse that i could donate

  33. therealrobzilla says:

    @Jbell – If it will get Rob nakes ASAP I will pony up a cool mill RIGHT NOW!

  34. Sass says:

    Damn, just read the contest rules…you have to be able to travel to Vancouver around May 5th…the first 2 weeks of May this year are the busiest I will be all year.


  35. Kristin says:

    @carrie – Gramms and Poppy is perfect.

    I have to say, can you honestly imagine Rob being a father. Teaching the kids piano, being called “daddy” or listening to him tell the kids to “listen to your mum”. My most favorite thing in all the world is a husband who calls his wife “Mama”. I’m seriously having a hard time not screaming right now, the thought of little Robbies running around and him calling me “mama”.

    I need a cigarette.

  36. Just a Girl says:

    Can someone repost the contest link?

  37. JBell says:

    @betony – Every little bit helps!!

    @TRR – I will call and raise your mill to 1.5 mill!

    @Sass – May 5th? That’s like, the first day of production pretty much. And we know that if you won, you would do EVERYTHING in your power to make those 2 weeks NOT your busiest. lol

  38. JBell says:

    @Kristin – Ohhhh, I need more than a cigarette…

  39. Sass says:

    My daughter’s first communion is the 2nd of May and the following weekend I have a girls weekend away that we have been planning for months.

    Just a week later and I so would have entered, lol!

  40. therealrobzilla says:

    Alright Jbell! We are already up to 2.5 million. Come on ladies; chip in for the greater good!

  41. Carrie says:

    Listening to Foo Fighters Walking After You-
    “Tonight I’m tangled in my blanket of clouds
    Dreaming aloud
    Things just wont do without you, matter of fact”

    “If you’d accept surrender, Ill give up some more
    Weren’t you adored
    I cannot be without you, matter of fact”

    Rob, If only you would surrender to me. Oh what I would do with you.
    <3 Me

  42. Ayden says:

    @JBell- I wouldnt even have noticed it lol. Will ignore as directed!

  43. Carrie says:

    @Sass. Your daughter would be cool with it if you missed her first communion for the chance to meet The Rob. If she really loves she wouldn’t want you to miss your chance.

  44. JBell says:

    So, I’ve made about 5 videos lately and cannot post them on YouTube because of copyright infringement.

    Dear YouTube,
    I hate you,

  45. Ayden says:

    @JBell- Guilty. Rugrat is asleep. I could be packing. But yeah, we all know that just isn’t happening today! Refreshing, however, definitely makes the must do list.

  46. Carrie says:

    @Jbell. Did you try You post anything there just takes a while to upload.

    Dear You SUCK!!!!

    YOU SUCK!!!!!
    With Loathing,

  47. Kristin says:

    @jbell – bummer…I love me some Robbie videos!

    @sass – Your daughter would totally understand, especially when she gets older. Right now it might be that whole “Mommy, why aren’t you coming” business, but that will pass. LOL!

  48. Carrie says:

    @Sass you could even tell Rob that you are missing your daughter’s first communion to meet him.
    He would bang you for.

Leave a Reply

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License

LTR Privacy Policy

Sponsored by