Spot Rob, the in-field guide

Dear Rob-

Since you’ve been hiding out recently sleeping in with me everyday getting into character/working out/escaping freaky stalker Twimoms, we’ve missed you around these parts. In fact we’re starting to forget what you even look like (ok, ok just go along with me on this one gals), you know when you haven’t seen someone in so long you sometimes can’t picture them in your head? That’s what this feels like Rob! But fortunately for us some crappy rag-mag has published this easy how-to guide for recognizing your body parts on other people. So when that blessed day comes and you’re spotted out in that grandma sweater of yours we’ll be able to figure out it’s YOU and not Jake Gyllenhaal with a Dadcase. He wishes!

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

Enlarge this badboy by clicking on it. Perfect size to be printed off and carried around in your handbag, Ladies. Just in cases!

Let’s break it down shall we…

  • Orlando Bloom’s Eyes– Elven eyes are better than Elven ears I suppose. But yea I can see this. And they actually kinda look related. Oh those Brits!
  • Matthew McConaughey’s Hair – Ef the hair, the only thing I’m worried about is Rob’s hair taking after Matthew’s and waking the neighbors with naked bongo playing. The boy’s not muscular enough for that kind of exertion.
  • Jake Gyllenhaal’s Eyebrows – So I take it Jakey’s eyebrows have to be pushed and pulled and plucked and tweezed and waxed into submission just like Robbie’s? Poor Jake.
  • Chase Crawford’s Lips – WTF?! I’d like to think we know a thing or two about Rob’s lips around these parts, especially when they get all smooshy. Besides, Chase Crawford looks like a melty Ken doll, I simply cannot agree with this or condone it. NEXT!
  • Jude Law’s Chin – Better than having some of Jude Law’s other uh… parts allegedly. AHEM. Sorry Judey.

Now Rob don’t play hard to get… come out and be a nice boy otherwise we’ll be forced to use the tools (this field guide*) we have to find you!

Smooches and Tweezers!

*ladies!! I know you too well.

675 Responses to “Spot Rob, the in-field guide”

  1. FutureMrsPattinson says:

    Do you know how long its been since I’ve done nothing but stay on LTR all day? Forever! and I forgot just how wonderful it is.

    • Kristin says:

      nice to have you here today! I am becoming a master of the “drive by”..I leave my laptop out in whatever room I’m in…and walk by and refresh and make a quick comment if necessary..then keep doing what I Am doing…a few minutes later..same thing. Works out quite nicely. I do that on Twitter too! LOL!

  2. Monica says:

    Hi Sweeet Ladies!
    Real Life and Work got in the way yesterday and today…*sighs in despair*

    But poppin in to say hi to everyone…and pointing out some good LegPorn here:

    smooches everyone

  3. byrdie says:

    And Byrdie resurfaces! I’m looking pretty ragged, sitting in the third airport in 12 hours, and feeling annoyed that Detroit is a non-United airport. No red carpet lounge for me!

    But, on a positive note, I finally found a Boingo spot and I have 30 more minutes before my next airplane. Have had just enough time to get caught up on posts. Happy day!

    • Ayden says:

      Byrdie! 🙂 I’ve missed ya! Where are you jetsetting off to?

      • byrdie says:

        Hiya Ayden! It has been a while. My life can be more hectic than I care to reveal, but I will always come up for LTR air! I’m off to Maine for a 40th birthday bash for one of my college friends. I’m an avid traveller, but I’m normally flying in “class”. Not used to slumming it, but hey, its good for the economy. How’s trix in your neck of the woods?

    • Genevieve says:

      @Byrdie- Are you still travelling? Thought you were in Maine now. *scratches head* ‘Bon chance’ with the travelling! Girls and I missed you last night. *sniff*

      • byrdie says:

        @Gen: I’m trying to be a budget traveller these days, so opted for some horrible pseudo red-eye, three airport, long layover flight. I’m running on about 2 hours sleep and feeling a little funkeeeeeeeee! I had hoped to pop on last night before I flew, but didn’t have time. I did get a chance to read yesterday’s post and I feel so loved by our wee hour club! I miss you and our fun evening banter!

        • Genevieve says:

          @B- Same here! Be safe! Hope to see you on here tonight!
          Oh- don’t I know how that feels btw (24 hour airplaneing it) The shits- not literally of course! Hang in there. *smooch*

          • byrdie says:

            Might be tough cuz I will be with friends, but I do have to “work” at a bit, so will try to jump in at least to say hi!

        • EyeC says:

          Hi Byrdie! Nice to hear from you. Sounds like a rough schedule. You were missed.

  4. Genevieve says:

    @FMP- nice to see you here today! You usually leave those ‘drive-by’ comments so Happy LTR ing today!

    @Monica- Yay! ‘Buon Giorno’!
    Good to see ya!

  5. Ceri says:

    I can’t remember where I found it, but I saw Rob’s playlist where he mentions KOL.

    Rob says that “Soft” is his favorite song, which I find hilarious since its about erectile dysfunction.

    “I’m passed out in your garden
    I’m in, I can’t get off, so soft
    I’d pop myself in your body
    I’d come into your party, but i’m soft”

    I keep laughing about this song and the fact that there was such a long discussion about his peen skin status here the other day, that I had to post it. LMAO!

    Anyone want the mp4? Post your email and I’ll shoot in on over. (pun intended)

  6. Jena says:

    It’s like “Spunk”, wonder if he ever knew what that meant in the US? LOL!

  7. byrdie says:

    Couple of quick comments before I board the last plane:

    @Moon: I love this post cuz it is just delicious trivia to keep us Robcupied (rob+occupied – not sure if this works, but maybe it could be a Robism?!?). Plus, I had no idea about small package Law. He’s tall and lanky like our boy Rob and I think pretty darn sweet, in a blond hair kinda way. I’m still partial to dark.

    @EP/FN/Felicia/Dani/Gen: Sorry I missed you all last night. I hate not being around during the wee hours! You made me feel special though. Big smoochies!

  8. byrdie says:

    Oh yeah, somebody said it yesterday, but I’ve said it a few times: Lainey is HOT FOR ROB. End of story.

  9. Ceri says:

    Jena, JGW, JAG and Carter, just sent you Soft.

    If you don’t listen to the words it sounds like a right jaunty little tune, but once you hear what he’s saying…..LMAO!

    We call it “pushing the rope” Ha Ha!

  10. byrdie says:

    Boarding call – gotta run, but one more comment:

    I am not a Twimom! I’m a Robcat. BIG DIFFERENCE!


    • Kristin says:

      love u byrdie! Have a fun weekend and a safe flight!

    • carter.hearts.rob says:

      Robcat! I love it byrdie!

      Safe flight!

    • Genevieve says:

      Right you are! *blows a kiss*

    • Ceri says:

      I think of myself as a Robcat too! I’m not old enough to be his momma so that makes me a Robcat. Sad thing is that I went to a zoo this weekend with the in-laws and when we got to the cat cages, I almost shouted “Look honey, its a Robcat” instead of Bobcat! That would have been embarrassing. LOL

      • Genevieve says:

        The Robism’s are taking over our Life! They’re everywhere! Can’t look at a banana anymore without laughing!

    • Ceri says:

      I noticed both wallpapers have him with enhanced green eyes. Also I Love LA and The Office have Robward with green eyes. What’s up with that?

      Edward has gold eyes and Rob has blue eyes (which change sometimes).

      Did I miss something and am being completely r-tarded? Did Eward have green eyes before he was changed, is that it?

      • Genevieve says:

        Si signorita!

        • Ceri says:

          Well durh! Thanks. How the hell did I miss that in the book? Although to be honest it’s been a long time since I read the books.

          I had borrowed them from a friend and actually went out and bought my own set recently but gave them to my sister to read. She hasn’t even finished Twilight yet and I was wanting to re-read them. I should demand them back. Its been 3 months now, if she isn’t going to finish it in that time, she’s probably hopeless.

      • EyeC says:

        Yes. Green eyes before the change. These eyes are beautiful Gen.

    • carter.hearts.rob says:

      Does Rob have blue eyes? Or grey eyes? to me they usually look grey

      • Ceri says:

        I think they are light blue that sometimes go more gray or blue-green depending on what he wears. My dads eyes are just like that and I didn’t get to inherit them. Got crappy brown eyes, though DH says he likes brown so I guess it’s okay.

    • iheartedward says:

      I’m telling myself they’re green. They are. Green.

  11. Dany says:

    @byrdie: I’ve never “met” you before, but last night (ok, ok, it was already like 4 am, but u get the idea) the girls were talking so much about you that made me feel that I already knew you AND missed you as much as they did. Weird, isn’t it? lol Well, have a great time this weekend and hopefully we’ll get the chance to talk when you come back.

  12. JBell says:

    Oh ladies, I’ll be off for the rest of the afternoon due to having to do more ass kissing for the boss. Boooo! I’ll be back later tonight if I make it through without ending up in jail for murder 😉 Love ya, mean it!
    PS – You would all be willing to accept my collect call from jail right? To come bail me out? LOL

    Dear Rob,
    I know that you will be getting out of bed in about an hour or two, but please don’t surface until after 6:30pm EST. I will be getting off of work then and will be available to stalk – I mean look at – the gossip sites for new pictures of you.
    Love you always,

  13. Just a Girl says:

    I have to get back to Real world. I’ll be on twitter if u need me. <3 JAG

  14. therealrobzilla says:

    Ok, you guys all know that I’m a big geek so I thought I would share this useless bit of trivia knowledge.

    He said his favorite book was Money by Martin Amis. I’ve read it and I think that is where he got the name Spunk from. There was a relatively new, young actor that everyone wanted for this movie. His name was Spunk. The main character, John Self, was trying to convince him to change it to Spank or Hank. Who knows, maybe he identified with this hot, new actor and thought it was funny.

    The book is written by a British author and they use the word spunk just like us.

    Now, back to something interesting and funny…of course that will be written by the next person.

    • EyeC says:

      TRR I remember you mentioning this at the end of the Spunk Day post. I started the book but had to return it before I finished. I’m on the list again and am determined to read it all. Written mid 70s or early 80s.

      • therealrobzilla says:

        I must confess that it wasn’t the book for me. It made me so sad. good luck finishing it second time around.

        • EyeC says:

          You know, I’ve been thinking about this being his favorite book and Van Morrison his favorite singer and Jeff Buckley, Tom Waits, JL Hooker, King Curtis, all the old blues singers. I wonder if he feels like he was born a little too late. He certainly seems older than his 22 years would suggest.

    • iheartedward says:

      That’s interesting. I think Rob’s brain works just different and the things that come out of his mouth are odd. But that’s what makes him so adorkable!

      I watched Bad Mother’s Handbook last night and can’t get the images of dorky gangly Rob out of my head!

  15. Melissa says:

    i napped today and honest to goodness i dreamt about writing on think i need a break haha.

  16. pishposh71 says:

    SO how many of us are off to buy that book now ? LOL

  17. pishposh71 says:

    oh canada our home and native land ( and we have rob too! na na na na na!)

    • Genevieve says:

      ‘true patriots…….uh can’t remember the rest LOL! and the made me sing it every darn morning! Hahaha! How ironic!

  18. pishposh71 says:

    ha! where are you? I am in Ontario

  19. Kristin says:

    Okay gals…off to shower, get waxed and do some “mom” stuff…then its girls night!! I’m going out and I will be back around midnight CST….I’ll stop by if I am coherent enough to do so at that time! LOL!

  20. pishposh71 says:

    I swear to God these kids are going to drive me insane before the day is over.

  21. FutureMrsPattinson says:

    Posted Rob’s Itunes playlist link on page 2 of comments under the “soft” lyrics

  22. Dany says:

    by the way, does any of you ladies have any rob songs in mp3? I mean, besides Never Think and Let Me Sign?

  23. FutureMrsPattinson says:

    I have “I was Broken”
    “I’ll be your lover too”
    “to roam” they are all live tracks

  24. FutureMrsPattinson says:

    Well this is page 2

  25. pishposh71 says:

    Ok I have to go and fetch more kids from school because it is my job. I would rather be Robs personal assistant and be in charge of deodarant sticks, toothbrushes, and foreskin cleaning but no one has called yet about my resume.
    My life sucks.

    • Genevieve says:

      LMFAO! YOU ARE HILARIOUS! Thanks for the good laugh!

      • pishposh71 says:

        why thank you, around my house my “wit” is generally classified as being “bitchy”. Men don’t get it do they! its all good! I will blatently promote my blog if you like my style LOL

        • Genevieve says:

          Promote away! LOL

          PS ‘A good laugh a day keeps the doctor away’!
          or was that an apple? OH shiz, doesn’t matter you know what I mean! LOL

          • pishposh71 says:

            I believe a shot of rob a day will keep the hornyness at bay? 🙂
            Fruits overrated LOL
            Catch you later!

  26. Dany says:

    @FMP: Really? Can u please e-mail them to me? my email is You’ll make me a happy woman! lol

  27. Dany says:

    @JustGotWicked: I didn’t see u there! I already wrote my email, I want them!!! And I do not mind If I get them twice…or as many times as u want lol


  28. therealrobzilla says:

    I just realized, while mopping the bathroom, that if I married Rob my initials would be P.P. Verra attractive.

    Not that I want to marry him. I just want to know him in the Biblical sense.

    Just thought I would share the random thoughts of Robzilla.

    Carry on

  29. Genevieve says:

    @bandmum- I got the tail end of that convo and I particularily enjoyed ‘Robifornication’ LOL! Rob may come visit me in Robmonton! LOL!

  30. JustGotWicked says:

    i have one request.
    I live in the Dirty Jerz… and under NO circumstances should Rob’s name ever be associated with this disgusting “armpit of america” state. He is waaaay too good to be connected to this place.

    someone please get me outta here.

    I think I wanna go to Robifornication.

  31. Lauren says:

    I am awesome because I don’t have children and I am not a teen. Woot 🙂

  32. JustGotWicked says:

    wow scratch me wanting to go to Robifornication… can I PLEASE go to Robsexass instead??

    • Jena says:

      Someone fill me in on everything he says, LOL!
      Because I’m at work and the tech nazis blocked the vid
      and I’m too impatient to wait until I get home, LOL!

  33. Sass says:

    @TRR…mopping the bathroom floor gives rise to many random musings.

    And thanks to yours, I realized that if I married Rob, I wouldn’t have to change my last initial, it is already P. Of course that is my married initial, but pffffft, details.

  34. Jena says:

    I’m enjoying all the “first time you saw Twilight” encounters over at LTT right now!

  35. beesue says:

    Hey Ladies, Love the In Field Guide.

    Since we have our “Field Guide” we could become Rob/Lady Scouts.

    Can you imagine the “patches” we could earn?

    Making it, Eating it with Rob.
    Ready, Set, Go Camping with Rob.

    Oh Yeah!

  36. Dany says:

    @JustGotWecked/FutureMrsP: I got them all, Thanks a lot! I’m gonna listen to them in a while. I’m greateful that the “cassette” era is gone, cuz I’m pretty sure I would totally screw the cassette for listening to it so many times! LOL


  37. byrdie says:

    I made it! Maine or bust. Now I’m sitting at the airport waiting for my friend. I don’t mind, cuz I got myself a little LTR!

    So, would my state be WashingRob instead of Washington, a la The Haunted Airman? I’m strangely okay with that.

    @Gen: I love the news post of filming chaos and MOUNTED police. I just want to know why it is always teens getting in the way? Guess we are just way to slick to be there, particularly since we know he comes here every night to prowl.

    Thanks for the fun wishes for the weekend (wait it is only Thursday – guess my weekend starts early.

    • therealrobzilla says:

      Ooooh, I love it byrdie. WashingRob. It’s a state and a state of mind.

      So does that mean that my state has to be South Robolina? South and Rob in the same sentence. Mmmm

  38. EyeC says:

    I’ve been listening to some KOL ever since the song SOFT came up (?) earlier and I always think of Rob when Be Somebody comes on—I loosen my tie, I loosen my tie…I shake it your way, I shake it your way…

  39. English Girl says:

    OMG is our darling even still alive up there in Canada?

    What is wrong with the paps? Do they not want to sell any pictures this week?

    Is there not some teen or crazy fangirl, or hotel employee somewhere up there who can get a shot in a coffee shop or something?

    I need PROOF OF LIFE!

    (and Rob … so sorry for wishing that you would get papped or stalked by fangirls – I know I am a bad bad girl, you may chastise me any way you see fit).

    (ps I have obviously read far too much of The Submissive in the last day or two …)

  40. SpunkMe says:

    Hi My Fellow LTR Den of Sin Sistas,

    Hope you are all having a Robtastic Day!

    @Byrdie Glad you made it safely to Maine

    @Genevieve thought a lot about you today at work and how I appreciate all the hard work you do to always bring us such fantastic pictures of Rob. Thanks!

    @Jena Thanks for posting that new interview with Rob. Wish I knew what the questions were to some of them, but he looked sinfully sweet and delish as usual!

    @TRR Good to know that I am not the only one roaming thru real life shiz thinkin’ about Rob the entire time. I kept walking thru the halls at work today thinkin…holy sh*t if people walking past me knew the dirty things about Rob I was thinking right then….not that your mopping thing was dirty…ahhh…but you know me.

    @Felicia I thought about you at work all day and your post you left last night about trying to fit in here and trying to keep up and couldn’t just jump in and feeling like the last kid picked for kickball—I was so sad for you today about that–don’t feel that way–most of us have experienced that as a kid and it wasn’t a good feeling–don’t feel that way here–just jump in respond to anything you want, wait a minute refresh your page, look for answers and respond again. It took me a bit to get the hang of the fast flow here too, I’m still a Newbie here, but feel so loved by all yo great LTR ladies!

    @Melissa I have that same dream all the time where I just see posts of LTR! I too wake up saying WTF?! But I just love you guys too much too quit you…so sad when I am bribing my 7 year old with a doughnut hole just to give me a minute to finish posting this…bad mommy, must have Rob spank me later.

    @Moon Love the post, can see Rob in some of them, I guess maybe the eyebrow one….

    So when that blessed day comes and you’re spotted out in that grandma sweater of yours..

    LMFAO!!!!! That darn blue HP sweater, I think it’s a little security blanket for him. I have a kid at work (childcare), that comes in a blue sweater like that everytime…I totes start laughing thinkin’ of the Robster in his.

    And back to the TwiMoms issue…so glad to see I am not one of those…glad that was clearly defined. I think you guys know I don’t belong there even though I’m a mom….my posts would certainly be demonized and thrown off there. Glad I don’t have stick up my butt! LTR rocks!

    I think we should go with Robhards because it is all about THE MAN and we do like him hard, we– including Rob– all like some hardcore FF, and we just can’t get enough of him.. So, that’s my vote!

    @Carrie Are you there or are you hung over? need to have a chat with you and Vogue tonight.

    Smooches Lassies!<3<3<3<3<3<3

    • Jena says:

      I got warm fuzzies when I saw the grandma sweater
      make an appearance on the dvd special features when he
      was rehearsing the baseball scene.
      He even had a blue beanie to match.
      Endearing I tell you, endearing!

      • SpunkMe says:

        Yes, it seems nothing is a turn off when it comes to Rob…

        Grandma Sweater…Hot
        Dirty Jeans…Hot
        Dirty hair….Hot
        Dirty Bod…Hot
        Dirty scruff….Hot
        Geek look (BMHB and HTB)….Hot
        Flannel shirt….Hot
        Cigarette mouth…Hot
        Drunken state…Hot
        Weird Facial Expressions…Hot
        Microwaving for fun…Hot
        Imaginary Budha in his head…Hot

        Ok I thought of one…kidporn Rob…NOT hot.

      • byrdie says:

        Me too, me too!

    • Genevieve says:

      @SpunkMe- about me? OK. Thx for the shout-out! It goes something like this- 1. Love RTP 2. Love LTR 3. Love the fab. gals on LTR which translates to ‘found a new purpose in life’! LOL!
      Glad you like them! *smooches*

    • SpunkMe says:

      oh I wish I was a little bar of soap
      oh I wish I was a little bar of soap
      I’d go slipperin’ and a slidin’
      over Rob’s sweetass hiney
      oh I wish I was a little bar of soap!

      Ok that was so gay! It just popped in my head!

      Seriously, I want to be the black car there! Better yet I’d like to be that pair of jeans he’s wearing.

    • Jena says:

      I <3 you, Gen! This photo just made my day.
      There are so many ways of RAWR in this photo I don’t
      even know where to begin!

  41. Jena says:

    We need someone here to make a list of all the fanfic with links so we can all access them.
    I think the only one I have is Wide Awake and Isme Island. I am so far behind!

    • SpunkMe says:

      Jena can you click on JAG’s name/ her site has a section devoted to Twiporn with the best video ever of NIN!! I get hot just thinking about that…seriously, you need to read The Office, The Submissive, and everyone says I Love LA is good and Midnight Desire although I haven’t read the last 2. Oh and IF you like The Sub., then you can read The Dominant.

      I am dying for new chpt of Wide Awake…what is up with Angstgodess? Why is she taking so long? ARRGGGHHH!!!

    • LabTwerd says:

      I would totally help out. I am a fanfic addict. Not even ashamed.

  42. Ceri says:

    Can I just say that Rob does not wear skinny jeans? The say ‘slim fitting or skinny jeans like Pete Wentz or Robert Pattinson”.

    Rob does tend to wear slim fitting jeans, but not skinny jeans. I don’t like that he got thrown in there with creepy Mogli dad.

    I swear the first time I saw a boy/guy wearing skinny jeans and emo hair, I thought it was a chick! No decent manly man should ever wear skinny jeans!

  43. Just a Girl says:

    Squueeeeeeeeeeee AssCandy my fave!

    I gotta bail ladies, won’t be around tonight.

  44. LabTwerd says:

    Mmmmmm….noticing the reflection of his loooooong fingers on the car.

    That and his nice little toosh.

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