GASP… ROBERT PATTINSON IS HUMAN!!

I AM HUMAN HEAR ME ROAR!

I AM HUMAN HEAR ME ROAR!

    *clears throat, grabs bullhorn, steps up on soapbox*

Dear Crazy Rob Fans (the bad ones)-

We’ve all now officially seen “THE TUCK” picture and now 5 minutes later I’m already reading complete nonsense about how this picture is ruining Rob’s image and how he’s fat and has back-acne and his pubes are trimmed. I’ve got news for you psychos…

HE’S AN AVERAGE GUY!!!!!!!

And can we all say a collective “AMEN?” He is NOT Edward with a marble chest, he is Rob, pasty white, somewhat soft in this picture… THAT’S NORMAL! and ya know what? That makes me feel a heck of a lot better about myself cause god knows I don’t look like Megan Fox or have her body and God knows 90% of the Twi-dom doesn’t either! So calm down!

XO, loving you like you are…
Themoonisdown

*bullhorn screeches, steps off soapbox, goes back to spinning records and making out with rob*

PS dont make me pull out those rings of nibelungs pics again!
PPS if you’ve been living under a rock or caught under some heavy furniture check out the pic at our pals Robsessed

617 Responses to “GASP… ROBERT PATTINSON IS HUMAN!!”

  1. Ceri says:

    Darn real life – interrupting my LTR and Twitter time.

    I am loving the nekkid Rob. Aah, the V, the V! I love a mans well defined V and Rob is rocking the V.

    I think what is disturbing about the photo is the Robalo Bill tuck. The fact that this is a screencap and is taken waaayyyy out of the context of the movie for which it was intended. This is obviously part of Dali’s decent into ‘madness’.

    So even though I too keep trying to get the mirror to move another 12 inches south, I am sad that it got released.

  2. M.J. says:

    So in some people’s eyes (none of us here of course) that pic of Rob is less than perfect. But in truth HE IS PERFECTLY PERFECT! Does he have sculpted abs and an ever tight body? Is he super confident about his looks ?NO..but here’s why he IS perfect.

    Here is my theory as to why..I have had a couple of those guys that make women go crazy..yep, so hot they made your cooter scream just to be in the general vicinity of them…You love their personality(at first) til you find out they’re a complete self centered douche bag..Their idea is from the time they start f*cking you til they’re done that you should be grateful that they’re even letting you get it .All the while you’re realizing that that they’re so self absorbed they don’t get the fact that they’re a LOUSY PIECE OF ASS!

    Then there are the guys like Rob, sweet, a little goofy, sensitive, and a little self concious. Now being bedded by that type of guy is AMAZING! Due to their personality, they go the extra mile to please YOU first.. So, Haters? Hate On! You’re the only one’s who dont’ know what you’re missing…

    Dear Rob,

    I’m loving what you wanna wear,
    I wonder what’s up under there?
    Wonder if I’ll ever have it under my tongue?
    I’d love to try to set you free,
    I love you all over me.
    Love to hear the sound you make the second you’re done.

    S is for the simple need.
    E is for the ecstasy.
    X is just to mark the spot,
    Because that’s the one you really want.
    (Yes!) Sex is always the answer, it’s never a question,
    ‘Cause the answer’s yes, oh the answers (Yes).
    Not just a suggestion, if YOU ask a question,
    Then it’s always yes. Yeah! (YES)

  3. soccermom says:

    I know this is gonna get buried, so I’m gonna move it down here. Angie posted this pic of Rob:

    http://wouldyoutapthat.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/004.jpg

    Check out the black string on his right wrist. Is it tha same one he and old GF, NIna, are sharing in these pics? How long ago did they date and when did he make HTB?

    http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/search?updated-max=2009-03-29T07%3A56%3A00-04%3A00&max-results=30

    Sorry, for some reason Robsessed never lets me copy just the pic. You will have to scroll down page to get to it.

  4. French_Nugget says:

    Hey gals! Can someone fill me in on what I’ve missed today. Pretty please? 🙂

  5. Jena says:

    Sorry I’m late to the party! I’ve been updating windows and all that jazz.

    @JBell, how are ya, girl?! Did you ever get my text when you checked in on me? Apparently my friends are having problems getting my texts lately. Didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you.

    @Soccermom, the Radiohead is not on the deluxe version. 🙁 The OAR, two remixes (one from Full Moon, and Mutemath), a live Iron and Wine song and an acoustic version of Decode by Paramore. It came with a dvd to but haven’t watched what’s on it yet. Think just music stuff.

    Oh and I’m late to the convo on this, but speaking of what started it all with the Robsession. That interview he did with Laura from MTV where he talked about buying new underpants and working on his spelling and clipping his toe nails. I laughed so hard I was crying when I first watched that. His wit and sense of humor is what sold the deal with me.

  6. Jena says:

    “Pattinson attended The Juno Awards Sunday night and is reportedly friendly with fans, even giving a hug to a waitress who served him at Azia Restaurant in Downtown Vancouver, according to Danielov.”

    WEEEE!!!

  7. JBell says:

    @SM – You are totes awesome for that comparison. I’m about 99.9999% sure that’s the same one. I think he did HTB before LA in 2007 or maybe the other way around, but I want to say they were back-to-back… not sure on that though. (I know! Me!? Not knowing something such as dates and times!? lol)

    @Jena – Yes! I got your text. lol After I sent it that morning I was like, ‘Oh crap, what time is it there?!? I didn’t want to wake her or anything since she’s sick!’ Even if you wouldn’t have responded I wouldn’t have though you were ignoring me;)

  8. IfOnly says:

    Moon – thanks for this letter and for defending Rob. I have also felt bad for the gay gossip he will have to put up when this movie comes out. But if he can pull off great acting (which we know he did) naked and tucked with all the blue-collar lighting guys around snickering, Rob can probably handle the gossip. To us, this is what we find endearing – the WTF attitude he can have sometimes to go out on limb and do great things. To put himself so into a role, it’s not him at all. I originally loved Edward because he was cute and so intense. Then I watched Rob interviews saw more pictures of him, ect and fell in love with him as an actor and person, not as Edward. Rob is sweet, funny, dorky and real. I never looked for more info on Edward, but I can’t get enough info on Rob. The more I see and hear about him, the more I think of how great he is as a person and actor.

    Dear Rob,
    Although we love it when you look like such a hot dirty boy giving us those eff me eyes, we also appreciate your confidence to do great things outside of the normal. This sets you apart from all of the other plastic actors. We love you for the Robporn and we love you for your incredible acting and musical ability. You’re going to go a long way and we’re glad we’re going to be here to see it all. Thanks Rob!
    Love,
    LTR girls
    XOXO

  9. Giseli says:

    nite nite, girls! See ya!
    It’s time for some dreams… Oh, I hope so!!
    Last night I had one, but is too much romantic… eek

    Dear Rob,
    could you, please, bring more ‘action’ with you tonight? Thanks!
    Love
    (me – the Brazilian one)

    xox

  10. vogue18 says:

    Funny this nakey-nakey pic of Rob came up today. This morning while I was enjoying my coffee, I made this:

    http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/BT3K3PBaHBwwXrZm

    Great way to start my day!

  11. French_Nugget says:

    MJ how’s ms. Adaline’s profile coming along?

    • M.J. says:

      not too swift…was having a shit day..got a thing from my kid’s school this evening..an invite to a Mother/Son dance they’re having next week…I.CAN’T.DO.IT and I am ashamed..

      confession..I’m not good in public situations where there’s a lot of people, I start to feel sick and sweaty and kinda freak out. Don’t know why. Honestly the only time I go out of my house is when I HAVE to..I don’t know what’s happened to me, just started happening over the last 2-3 years. I haven’t been to a school function by myself with him since I don’t know when..with his dad going I’m ok, without I fall apart.I can’t embarrass my baby like that.

  12. vogue18 says:

    actually, I wasn’t happy with one of the heads so I just replaced it:

    http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/rx8RXRDKakoLdzQ2

  13. IfOnly says:

    Can’t stay tonight ladies. Have a fun night! XOXO

  14. JBell says:

    @SM – I really just think they would have had to be dating then, my theories:

    Late 2006, Early 2007 (Oct-Feb) – Filming HTB in and around London – still dating/living with Nina – going on 3 years of dating.

    Mid-2007 (Apr/May) – Gets the part as Dali – has to go to Spain for filming – Nina still modeling and working in and around London – they come to the mutual decision to end the relationship, but remain friends – maybe they’ll try to get back together when he returns from Spain.

    After LA wrapped, he returned to London but he’s still wanting to work and do movies – gets role as Edward and decides to pretty much move to the states to prepare & film, thus not being able to re-connect and re-establish the relationship with Nina – they agree to remain friends… and the rest is history and here we are today, 2 years later.

    • French_Nugget says:

      JBell, you amaze me 🙂 lol

    • JBell says:

      HAHAHA Confirmation! I = Win.

      Oliver: No. That was just after “How To Be.” So “How To Be,” then “Little Ashes” and then “Twilight.” When we did the post-production for “How To Be,” he was flying back from Spain and had all of his hair dyed black. I just sat there and giggling and poking him and teasing him. He was telling me about this weird movie where he gets raped. I was like, ‘What the fuck?’ (laughs)

      CB: You were like ‘What are you doing?’ (laughs)

      Oliver: He said, ‘I am in this weird movie where I get raped while they are filming it.’ I am like ‘Rob, you are mental!’ But I don’t know what the movie is like.

    • Summer Girl says:

      Hey — just seen this, thanks for the info 🙂

      Does anyone know what he was doing for majority of 2006. GOF opened Nov 2005, I think, but 2006 seems a bit blank………

  15. ocnlvr83 says:

    I have no words. I won’t say anything negative, because I have nothing negative to say. This movie is about experimentation, the 1920s, and the mindset of homosexuality in that period. Tucking was/and is normal. Rob doesn’t look bad, he looks normal…just like you said. I can tell you that I am not Megan Fox–and I don’t see Robert as this chiseled marble person…he’s quite normal, just like you and me.

  16. soccermom says:

    @Jena – “Who? He and Nina? I’m confused” It’s ok. I’ve been lost myself several times today, between switching posts and mixing up conversations!
    Anyway, I noticed Rob was wearing the same black string bracelet in the HTB photo and the photo of him with Nina and I was asking our secret service agent, JBell, if they were still dating when he made HTB.

    • Jena says:

      I looked at that link and never noticed that until you said something.
      Vetty vetty interesting. Sweet to.

    • SpunkMe says:

      @SM

      I am very lost today as you can probably tell. R/L has totally buzzkilled my LTR drunkfest today. I’ll keep trying to get in the game, but doesn’t help that DH is hovering tonight…have to be careful of my dirty girl at the moment.

      What is the big question about the black bracelet he is wearing? Like who it’s from or what?

      • soccermom says:

        @SpunkMe – R/L bites. I noticed Rob was wearing the same black string bracelet in a HTB photo that he and Nina were wearing in photos when they were dating. JBell Robstigated and discovered the info above.
        Hope your night gets better!

  17. hunnieb says:

    thankkkkkk uuuu!!!! i think he looks like an average guy!!! and in my eyes, thats def my type! <3

    as for the buns, the cam should’ve panned out, and given all the fans somethign else to hang on to!

  18. JAS says:

    Um… I’m sorry… did I miss something? I thought he looked beautiful. Well, the pose is a little “puts the lotion on his skin or he gets the hose again” (Silence of the Lambs reference, btw), but what’s wrong with his body?

    I don’t know… I guess I’m not into the steroid looking guys.

    I think his “regular guy-ness” is the most appealing thing about him. Not just personality, but physically, too.

    But on top of that, he’s still breath-takingly beautiful.

    Of course, he could be a complete ass, I have no idea. All I see of him is what he portrays in the media – which could be totally contrived, but it seems genuine.

    Anyhow… he’s lovely, and HUGELY talented. Isn’t that the most important thing? And brave, clearly.

    And I could listen to him sing for days straight.

  19. soccermom says:

    @JBell – You are AWESOME! I KNEW you could figure that out!

    • JBell says:

      lol I needed something to do and I’m glad you gave me a task! I feel like I haven’t really been able to contribute anything ‘original’ to you gals lately… just the same old links to articles that everyone has seen time and time again.

      So yeah, thank YOU! 😀

  20. Carrie says:

    @SpunkMe Did u read latest chapter of The Dom??

    • SpunkMe says:

      Yes, about the Pallette? What did you think?

      • Carrie says:

        It totally made sense. He was trying to keep his distant from her. He was trying to let the crazy out slowly. Can’t let her know I have been sorta stalking her for 7 years.
        I can’t wait for the next chapter.

  21. JBell says:

    So there’s been talk from the fans and what-not about Rob really needing a publicist (or a better one, if you will)…

    Dear Endeavor Agency,
    Hi! I’m Jessica. I’d like to apply for the job of Rob’s much needed publicist/handler. I have about 40/50 references I can give you that will attest to my amazing capabilities. Please, feel free to give me a call/text/tweet/DM/email/snail mail/pigeon mail etc. anytime, anyplace.

    Look forward to hearing from you soon,
    Jessica

  22. vogue18 says:

    Hey girlz,

    this is a really fun site to make cool pics and avatars of yourself!

    http://www.photofunia.com/

  23. Jena says:

    I’m off for the evening gals! You lovelies have a good one! TTY2morro!

  24. soccermom says:

    I think I’ll head to St. Mattress too. All this excitement has worn me out! Is Genevieve around? I need a bedtime Robsnack. Something sweet and warm and gooey – like a chocolate chip cookie on my pillow! Goodnight everyone!

  25. Carrie says:

    I gave Best Friend Twilight and NM to read this weekend. Was talking to her earlier to see where she was. Finished Twilight yesterday and had started NM. Was just finishing the birthday party. I told that she would prob need to call me soon for a hug. She just called. She just read the part where Edward leaves. It breaks my heart every time. Just talking to her about it is making me sad.

    • soccermom says:

      @Carrie – I’m still here – waiting on my Robsnack from Gen. Me too. Not that I enjoy crying, but I hope that scene is so good in the movie that I DO cry. I was helping my daughter with her NM book report last week and re-reading the book really got me excited for the movie. November seems so far off right now.

    • French_Nugget says:

      I gave my BFF Twilight to read and she’s still not done reading it. We went and saw the movie a while back and now she’s like “do I HAVE to finish reading it?” “Yes, you do! The movie leaves out all the good stuff! Also, you have to have the second one done before November!”

  26. French_Nugget says:

    @ MJ good luck w/ whatever you decide about the dance.

    @SM Good night! Sweet dreams!

  27. Dany says:

    Question, IFC’s VOD platform IFC Festival Direct, is the same thing as plain IFC? (About the how to be thing in canada)

  28. SpunkMe says:

    @Carrie

    Left you a steamy message up at your 11 PM post…

  29. Angie says:

    Hey all. Last post from me tonight.

    I bet that icky Howard Stern would get the details we want out of Robert Pattinson. I bet he would get him naked too in an interview!

    After all he would be the only interviewer who could get inside his dirty little mind….

    I wonder when and if Howard Stern will get his hands on him for an interview.

    • EyeC says:

      Those fingers on his right hand–sweet.

    • SpunkMe says:

      Genevieve

      The shoes on that 1st pic! OMG!!! They are soooooooooooo LONG!!!! Well you know where that thought is goin’….

    • English Girl says:

      My morning coffee never tasted so good looking at these pics.

      He looks so young in his Oscars get up don’t you think? Utterly delicious though … I love that he wasn’t clean shaven – I can just imagine him saying “bugger that, I’m not shaving just to conform. And stuff the underwear too …”

      And I just want to give him a shoulder massage and say, relax ……. let the fingers relax Rob. He is such a tense little bunny at times.

      Oh god I’m getting soppy at 10 in the morning. Right I really do have a ton of things to do ….

  30. SpunkMe says:

    partial Rob written interview…dirty minded litttle boy…that gives me dirty thoughts about you, Rob….

    http://i728.photobucket.com/albums/ww282/SpunkMe/OHMYCream.jpg

    • JBell says:

      LMFAO! That’s where Cream of Cullen came from!!! Oh my gosh you just reminded me!! I linked to that damn thing sooooo long ago and forgot about it!!

      Bahahahahaha You = Awesome!

    • Dany says:

      “Plus, he’s a 108-year-old virgin, so he obviously got some issues there”

      LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! He’s so funny!

  31. Skillah says:

    A-FUCKING-MEN.

    That is all.

  32. Dany says:

    For a moment I thought it was true!!!!!

    http://www.popsugar.com/2988066

    lol

    • Dany says:

      I think that’s another one, considering it’s april’s fools…

      I mean, It’s too much information never heard before. So it has to be made up.

  33. Kristin says:

    HI GURLS! So to recap:
    Nekkid Rob = fabulous

    Need to see the ass, STAT.

    He likes subtle ways to show his girl he loves her “the black bracelet”.

    JBell needs to work for Endeavor and get this boy handled the right way. heh,heh.

    Rob might be boinking NReed, and/or Kstew and Oregano. Damn. Well whatever. He won’t look the other direction again once I get started so I’m not worried. 🙂

  34. Dany says:

    btw, how are u today, Kristin?

  35. M.J. says:

    @FN, yeah my kid makes me so proud, he’s nominated to join the gifted program for 3rd grade next yr. I don’t know what I’d do without him. So yeah, I don’t wanna embarrass him in front of his friends.But the school he goes to, if you’re not the kid of a Dr. or a lawyer , you kinda get cast aside socially. So, my kid is smart, and therefore they still pay attention.

    Oh in the way of famous, (and I use this term loosely) I do know Ward and Jeff Burton personally. Think Nascar…and I can’t stand either one of them…but they’re from my town. Ward’s kid goes to school with my kid..and he nearly ran me over at the beginning of the school yr..I called him an asshole and he thought it was the funniest thing ever.

    *Sorry/rambling

    • French_Nugget says:

      I was in a gifted and talented program (yay me! lol). I really enjoyed it. Hooray for being smart! 🙂

      • M.J. says:

        I sucked at math in school and the O/H excelled in it..I was good in everything else…maybe he got the best from both of us.

    • ErPattz says:

      I’m actually familar with Ward and Jeff Burton, I’m going to a NASCAR race this weekend actually. Not really suprised that Ward is jerk, he has a jerk look about him.

      • M.J. says:

        ok, Ward’s actually ok with my O/H but I don’t know, when you hang out around him? Eh, I just don’t like him..and Jeff, he talks like he’s got a mouthful of …somethin?

        • ErPattz says:

          I lived in NASCAR-land aka Concord, NC for a while and I’m a huge nascar fan. I haven’t bet the two of them personally, but when I lived there I saw the occassional driver, I almost had a car accident over Casey Mears and I heard lots of stories about lots of people.

          • ErPattz says:

            met not bet

          • M.J. says:

            Lol, I can’t stand racing and I used to go in the pit area with my uncle when I was really young back when Ward and Jeff used to run pure stock over here at the track. My uncle couldn’t understand how I could be so close to all that noise and stiill sleep through most of it..but I could.

          • ErPattz says:

            Racing isn’t for everyone. I personally like the noise, but I can see how someone could sleep through it.

    • Dany says:

      It must be very hard for you, having all these problems with being in public…but also, from the way you speak (or write) about your kid, I can tell you’re crazy about him, and you’d do anything for him. Maybe for him it would be worst if u don’t try at all. You love your kid so much, and somehow mothers get strenght out of nowhere and do it anyway. Moms are that cool, it’s a nature thing.

      We’ll be sending good vibes and much love to you, you’ll do great! (what other mom has people in Chile sending love, huh? lol). Have faith!

      Remember, in Rob we trust! LOL

  36. vogue18 says:

    Wide Awake update from AngstGoddess:

    “I’m oh so very close to completion. I think I may be able to get the final chapter to beta tonight. I’ve literally written 35k words in the last two weeks.”

    WOOOO-HOOOO!!

    Darkward, here we come!!

  37. vogue18 says:

    nighty night girlz

  38. French_Nugget says:

    Has everyone voted today?? We’re catching up!!

    http://dazzleawards2009.webs.com/vote.htm

  39. Genevieve says:

    @ErPattz HI *waves* How u doin’? Long time to hear/see/talk/chat whatever! LOL

  40. French_Nugget says:

    EP! Missed ya last night.

  41. M.J. says:

    Anyone else here ever read any Laura K. Hamilton books? Sheh’s all about the vamps and Lycanthropes too…and whew are they sexy!

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