My first date with Robert Pattinson

Dear Rob-

I was reading through the comments from yesterday’s post and was astonished that so many people thought they had 0 chance of ever meeting you/shagging you but, I am quite delusional the opposite because not only do I think I WILL meet you, and you WILL fall madly and stupidly in love with me, I actually already have our first date all planned out in my head! See, I plan ahead! This is one of the things you will grow to love about me. I know. So thanks girls who are giving up, more Rob for me!


You see after I saw this little video I knew we were meant to be… so when you’ve got a free night here’s the plan…

8:00 you pick me up at my place and I fear for my life as you drive to the restaurant. You dodge 3 cats and an old lady. I pray to god we make it… “I’d never given much thought to how I would die… but dying in the place of someone you love seems like a good way to go”

8:17 we make it. barely. the near death experience has given us the shakes so we immediately order some booze to make all those bad memories disappear

8:32 two bottles of wine later we drunkenly gaze at each other as we FEEL that “special spark” between us ignite. We shoo the waitress away who keeps asking us to order

8:32.5 we call waitress back over to order another bottle of wine

8:47 we realize this “special spark” just can’t be contained anymore and we lunge for each other and then realize PDA might not be appropriate in this venue at the owner tells us to “get the H-word out you sicko’s! There are kids around!”

8:48 we stumble to the car laughing and procede to SPECIAL HUG in the backseat like a couple 16 yr olds at lovers lane on prom night

8:52 (let’s keep it real here girls, 4 minutes is probably generous) spent, drunk and hungry we roll over to In-n-Out

9:01 Order cheeseburgAHs and eat them in the dark of the parking lot before we special hug again

See ya at 8!

1,274 Responses to “My first date with Robert Pattinson”

  1. English Girl says:

    Love it Moon.

    Especially 8:52 comments. 4 minutes! Ha ha ha, too true!

  2. limeslice says:

    Haha Moon! 3 bottles of wine πŸ™‚ Can I just say that you guys have the best tags ever? After reading each hilarious post I get another laugh just from reading the tags underneath.

  3. JBell says:

    See, that is eerily similar to MY date with Rob I had last night… hm. You creepin’ on us again Moon??

    “We only got 4 minutes to save the worlddddd… no hesitating. Grab a boy; grab a girllll.”

  4. Pange says:

    Love it.

    Although I’d be okay with skipping the restaurant altogether and drinking the 3 bottles of wine in the backseat. More alone time you know.

  5. limeslice says:

    p.s. good morning, ladies! not sure if these were posted last night but very sweet outtakes from cosmogirl of the 3 guys, rob looks delicious:

    more on pages 3 and 4 here

  6. Stacey says:

    Special Hug – lmao I love it!

  7. love this date… altho if he’s not with me he’s poundin’ spam, even though it’s you, just sayin’

  8. Pange says:

    I’m sooooo going to get in trouble at work.

    The pics with the undone tie and untucked shirt, makes me shiver. Yum.

  9. krazykidd says:

    O moon you are sooooo on top of your game!!! πŸ™‚ ‘8:52 (let’s keep it real here girls, 4 minutes is probably generous)’….you really dont need more time…as Smokey once wisely said ‘give me bout 35-45 mins…he’ll be wanting to marry a n’…O you know the rest LOL except you’re so good you only need 4!!! Happy Hump Day!!! πŸ™‚

  10. Lizzie says:

    I’m with you on the optimism thing Mooon, but just reminding you of the pact, it doesn’t matter which LTR lady gets him first, once one of us has him you know you will have to share with the rest of us!

  11. Pange says:

    This might be more appropriate for LTT, but I just saw that Cam got a new gig:

    • Jena says:

      Oh yay! I feel kind of sorry for Cam that he can’t come back to the installments.
      He’s the only one, that must be a bummer for him.

  12. Denise says:

    Oh. My. Gawd. Let me catch my breath for a minute, willya? pantpantpant….Rob…..please…..pantpantpant….my heart…..pantpantpant….. you’re KILLING me….. what a way to go. I can die happy now.

    Whaddaya mean there are two other guys in the picture? I din’t see nobody but Rob Fucking Pattinson!

  13. Dany says:

    Good morning!

    Perfect date, Moon! Who needs a slow romantic date with maybe a little kiss in the end when we can have drunkRob doing the special Hug for 4 minutes!!

    That’s what love is all about!

  14. Leigh Anne says:

    Four minutes is generous, indeed.

    “You’ve only got 4 minutes…to save the world.”

    (Moon, you know I will always find a way to bring it all back to JT. And Madonna…whatever.)

  15. therealrobzilla says:

    Nice Moon, nice. I love the detail of the timeline. 8:32.5 LMAO!

    • themoonisdown says:

      yup the whole thing takes about a hr… we’re time efficient and i’ve got shizz to do. and by DO i mean BANG. πŸ˜‰

  16. lanabell says:

    4 minutes in HEAVEN is better than 3 minutes in HEAVEN .. that’s what I always say lol

  17. ashwood902 says:

    Pretty sure any of us would take that date any day…and have probably all imagined some similar antics. Moon you crack me up!!!

  18. Jena says:

    LMAO! Especially the quote placement in “8:00”. I love special hugs, LOL!

  19. Jena says:

    What all did I miss last night? I wasn’t here after 5pm.

    • Dany says:

      Hey Jena!

      Not much, well, SpunkMe is trying to get us all into her side of the R/K fence, but other than that, not much LOL

      How are you this morning?

      • Jena says:

        I’m good, Dany! Tired, didn’t want to get out of bed, but good.
        How are you?

        • Dany says:

          Good, but I had the same problem, I hate getting out of bed! And yet at nights it’s so hard for me to turn off the computer and go to sleep. The ironies of life, huh?

          Well, I’m off to study now, talk to you in the afternoon!

  20. Kristin says:

    Morning Girls πŸ™‚

    @moon – I am pretty sure that 4 minutes was generous enough. I do have to add though…after your second special hug, I pull up and he gets in the car with me. Just sayin’. πŸ™‚ I really wouldn’t mind sloppy seconds with him. Not at all. LOL!

    Off to the gym, back in a bit girlies! *smooches*

  21. Steph says:

    I got a hardy laugh out of the “4 minutes is probably generous” comment, too. The thing for me is, if I had downed a bottle and a half of wine and then special hugged anyone (even *sigh* super sex-is-on-fire Rob) I would probably have to take a post-coital snooze because my body would feel like a warm rubberband and my head a big pile of mush. The cheeseburgAH would have come closer to 9:23.

  22. brummielover says:

    Wait was that 3 minutes and 4 bottles of wine OR 4 minutes and 3 bottles of wine…

    I was never very good at math lol but I do know square root of pie 1.77245

  23. Sherin says:

    So moon,is he like,gonna see the top of your head at that in n out or what ? Deets, girl, deets LMAO! and I too, love your tags here.I press the iPhone the wrong way and it sends me to good places! Weeeee!!!! Good morning my lurvely LTR ladies!

  24. JustGotWicked says:

    Ive thought of so many scenarios for my first date with Rob. I guess realistically it would probably be more like drinking some beers at my place, eatin some hot pockets, seeing if he would teach me a thing or two on the guitar and then not being able to control the sexual tension anymore, we would have a wild night with his Robnana.

    but your date sounds just lovely too Moon. Ill take whatever I can get =)

    hope all you ladies are having a good morning

  25. Janetrigs says:


    Nice Moon, 4 minutes and 3 bottles. I hope you got your IN-n-Out “Animal Style”.

    Oh, I wonder if the hater will be back today…

  26. 8:32.5 nearly killed me. That was hysterical.

    And four minutes is generous, lol. Too funny!

  27. WastingTheMorning says:

    @moon – you’re welcome. I’m glad that my giving up has given you more hope. And, for the record, I have -175% chance with Rob (Husband = -50%, each kid is -50%, the dog is -25% because she would cause a custody battle).

    @limeslice – why do those CosmoGirls pics make me sing the KOL song over and over “I loosen my tie, I loosen my tie”.

    • Carrie says:

      I really wanna loosen Rob’s tie.

    • therealrobzilla says:

      You too? I loosen my tie…I shake it your way

    • JustGotWicked says:

      hahaha I absolutely had that same though! Thats probably because anything Rob/KOL control my every thought. Cant wait for the concert!!

      • WastingTheMorning says:

        Even before those pictures, I always had lovely visions of Rob in my head when I heard that song for some reason. Oddly, I don’t think of him during Soft or Cold Desert – only during Be Somebody.

        I’m dying to go to the concert! Lucky! They’re coming here but my ONE KOL friend is going to be out of town. And I’m not self confident enough to go by myself πŸ™‚

        • Twitchlet says:

          You should definitely go, regardless of your friend being around! You’ll make new friends at the concert. =)

          I bet KOL are amazing live!

        • JustGotWicked says:

          Oh man I would totally go by myself. I bought two tickets and I think my hubby will be gone so im searching for a friend to go with. cant friggin wait though.

          I always think of Rob during “I Want You”
          wait a minute… scratch that… I just ALWAYS think of Rob.

    • limeslice says:

      Haha! That’s normal.

    • myria101 says:

      I’m going to go b-roke from all the iTunes I keep buying cause of all you girls…yes, I’m lame and have yet to buy KOL. I am buying ….now.

  28. therealrobzilla says:

    Good Morning Carrie Bearie

    • Carrie says:

      Morning Robzilla. I got all sucked into reading WA last night and totally bailed on the conversation last night. What was the “wazzup up??” quote from? I know I should know it.

  29. JustGotWicked says:

    and i cannot type this morning…

  30. Carrie says:

    Morning Ladies!!

    Great letter Moon.

    That’s all I got. I’m all dazzled by my BF Simba.

    Am listening and watching him on you tube. There are tons of videos from his shows in NYC from the past couple of days.

  31. Jena says:

    I must have missed something, but someone explain the “BUTTER” to me. I see it all over sometimes and I don’t get it, LOL!

  32. WastingTheMorning says:

    @Carrie – what do you think of Wide Awake? I have one more chapter of Midnight Desire left and I decided I’m going to start Wide Awake next.


    I’m leery of the S&M stories. I know y’all rave about them but I just can’t pull the trigger. I’m just too impressionable to be reading that kind of stuff. I’m afraid they’ll push me over the edge of kinkiness..

    • therealrobzilla says:

      WA is NOT S&M. It’s actually a great story. I think if she changed the names and cleaned it up a little she could publish.

      • WastingTheMorning says:

        I know Wide Awake is straight lovin’ (which is why it’s next on my list). I was referring to the other ff stories like Dominant or Sub. I’m afraid of those and what they’ll do to my innocence.

        • Sherin says:

          Hey,let’s pop your FF cherry! Btw,I like saying FF cuz it sounds like eff eff ,which leads me to f**k F**k and then to rob. LOL

  33. therealrobzilla says:

    @Carrie and WTM – WA is my absolute favorite. It will suck you in bigtime!

    @Carrie – Whazzup! is from the old budweiser commercials I think. you know all the guys just screaming whazzup at each other and nothing else.

  34. WastingTheMorning says:

    I just sent a “how about for my bday you take me to a KOL concert” email to hubby complete with tickets link.

    Maybe if I offer a hummer, he’ll oblige my request.

    • therealrobzilla says:

      Don’t offer the hummer unless he says no first. You must save the big guns for the appropriate time. Never bid high first. LOL!

      • carter.hearts.rob says:

        TRR – Chinamother pointed out that a hummer can get you almost anything in your marriage. Am taking notes as I am newly married and need to know these things. Thanks for the advice

        • therealrobzilla says:

          Always glad to help. The best way to get anything you want is to give the hummer when there is the risk of exposure. Driving down the interstate, for example. Must save the slutty stuff for big request. You get extra points when the truckers going by blow their horns.

          • carter.hearts.rob says:

            *writing this down in my notebook*

            save the slutty stuff for big requests, got it. am already planning which slut maneuver will get me plane tickets to the LTR convention


          • myria101 says:

            wait…what LTR convention??????


  35. Sherin says:

    on a totally random note. Am totes watching la femme nikita reruns now and I was totes thinking the guy who plays michael, Roy dupuis has the same eff me eyes like rob does * Le sigh*

    • WastingTheMorning says:

      Must see this! I love me some eff me eyes. Not sure if you were in on it but some of us decided that Henry Cavill from Tudors (SMeyers pick for Edward) has the eff me eyes as well. Well maybe not nearly as much as Rob but he’s effable.

    • Carrie says:

      Sherin- Love me some La Femme Nikita.

      • Sherin says:

        Carrie watch the blooper reels on YouTube! So effing hilarious!! Michael shoots the bad guys with water guns n operations is wearing vampire teeth !LOL

  36. WastingTheMorning says:

    @Sherin – I’ve kept it pretty tame so far with the FF. I’ve read Isle of Esme, I Love LA, and now on Midnight Desire.

    I’m really really slow to read, however, so it takes me a while to get through them.

  37. Renschke says:

    You’re not the only delusional one. Rob and I will meet…”someday somewhere.” There will be lots of “special sparks, hugs and bumps.”
    Thanks for keeping hope alive!

  38. carter.hearts.rob says:


    Read back chappies of the Office last night. The Beautiful Bastard gets me every time…

  39. limeslice says:

    pictures of a lot of the cast at 100 monkeys concert last night:

    (no rob :()

  40. carter.hearts.rob says:

    Look but don’t touch ladies, that is, until the honeymoon…

  41. calliope says:

    i love the letter. Plain and simple. Most impressive part? Those first 2 bottles in 15 minutes flat. I lit’rally sat here and counted the time difference twice to make sure I was correct! I am seriously in awe at your and Rob’s drinking ability. I’ve never heard of someone drinking that much one in such a short time and I’m Italian and was in a sorority!

    Morning ladies!

    • Annie says:

      Good thing Rob’s 22 or he wouldn’t have been able to perform the special hug after that much wine!

    • therealrobzilla says:

      Calli – Maybe they are reliving the old sorority days of keg stands. I can hear Moon and Rob now chanting “Chug, Chug, Chug!” to each other.

    • WastingTheMorning says:

      Hello nanny Calli.

    • Janetrigs says:

      Morning Calli!

      Don’t mean to sound too demanding, but where’s the Twi-theater?
      Ok, I guess I did mean to sound demanding. But now I feel guilty for it.
      Srsly, I need to laugh today, it’s like living in Forks (sans Edward) down here in DC. Yuck.

    • themoonisdown says:

      thats how we role here… 2 bottles 15 minutes. it was a scary car ride.

  42. therealrobzilla says:

    OT – My husband informs me that he must take all the women who work for him out to dinner tonight to celebrate the end of tax season. He is also taking my car so they can all fit and he can drive them home safely when they drink too much.

    Side note-he only wants women to work for him so he can “be the only rooster in the hen house.”

    I’m soooo not jealous of this. Why is he a smidgen jealous of Rob?

    This makes no sense.

    • WastingTheMorning says:

      I hear ya. Such a double standard. My hubby put Jessica Alba with her boobs all pushed up in the air (pre-kid) as the backdrop for our playstation (which my son uses more than he does) and I didn’t say a word. But I put Rob as my computer desktop and he draws a ‘stache and devil horns on him. So not fair.

    • snmlamb says:

      Ummm, He knows that no matter how nice he is, or how many women are in the car with him, he will never be as utterly amazing as HHH. He is jealous that he cannot obtain the same status.

      (Not trying to be mean, just offering a suggestion!)

    • brummielover says:

      TRR ….excuse me??? yea that is messed up girl!

  43. snmlamb says:

    Mornin’ sunshines:)

    Ok, so I have to finish watching Twilight today…I had to stop last night while Billy Black was driving up and being the complication.

    So, Um, I read all of The Arrangement last night, and that woman hasn’t let out a new chapter in like 2 weeks…but overall I’m sucked in. I read 18 chapters in 5 hours. I love how FF’s make you stay up for no apparent reason.

  44. Genevieve says:

    @Moon- Thank you so much for making me LOL this morning! Great post!!! xoxo

    @Jena- butter conversation had me *cracking up* again! LOL

  45. niahid says:

    Best Letter Ever….

  46. WastingTheMorning says:

    Okay, this may be TMI but I tried something new on hubby last night (y’know, special hug stuff) and he said “oh my god, did you learn that from your books?” (he meant fan fiction – I hope – or he hasn’t been listening when I tell him that Twilight is straight laced and virginal). Ha! I actually learned the move from Glamour magazine. So then he said “PLEASE keep on reading the way you have!”.

    Yeah! I’m all clear to sequester myself in the computer room tonight again!

    • snmlamb says:

      What move was this, I have the last 3 Cosmo’s – need page number etc.

    • Sherin says:

      Yay!! very nice ! * is taking this down *

    • myria101 says:

      Yeah, which issue of Glamour??? I get it, but haven’t read the last 3 months worth. I’m down for trying anything.

      PS – I tried some new things I’ve learned in FF lately on my hub since I’m usually a taker I decided to be a giver…and my hubby was like “keep doing that…I like it”…it made me feel are warm and fuzzy and by warm and fuzzy I mean hot and bothered….hey-ohhhhhhhh!!!

  47. McSkippy says:

    Not sure if anyone here is a Flight of the Conchords fan, but the “4 minutes” comment is totally making me think of “Business Time” πŸ™‚

    “Makin’ love for 2 minutes. Cause with me all you need is 2 minutes, because it’s so intense.” Ha!

    I love Bret & Jemaine. Though my love for Rob is on a completely different level. (That level being the “insanely irrational” level.) πŸ™‚

  48. carter.hearts.rob says:

    @Carrie and Ceri

    Pictures of your man from last night!

  49. therealrobzilla says:


    Oswald is on TV for my daughter and they are having “Happy Big Banana Day” Made me think of the Robnana.

    Singing songs about having such a huge banana and how they are going to make banana splits all day.

    A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.

  50. limeslice says:

    Nice interview and pictures with Bobby Long!

    For the future Mrs. Long

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