Rob, here’s my fancard I give up!

Dear Rob,

I was all fine with packing up my tchotchkes for the big move (5 minutes from my current place) and  having an emo night by myself until I saw this picture of you surprising the crowd at the IMAX screening of Eclipse in Century City.

FML. I mean really? FML. I’m home throwing photo albums labeled “Bitches and Hos” and framed pictures of my grandparents into boxes and you’re showing up at movie theaters in my city? And speaking of my city… you were downtown filming that movie Water for Elephants (which I will read at the end of the month on my big trip) which is conveniently located minutes from my shack and after RARELY stopping to take pics with fans or even show your smug mug on the Filmore set you stop and take pictures with fans now?! In a Penguin hoodie?! COME ON!

It’s times like these that I can’t take living here. It’s knowing you may be 10 minutes from my house, your trailer at an intersection of downtown that I know very well, you at a movie theater I walked past a week ago, and it’s just you being in my general vicinity that I can’t take. I feel like I’m on high alert all that time, that as any moment I could cross your path. I even thought about (for a hot minute) going to said IMAX theater last night but then I caught a glimpse of my crazy self in the base of the mercury glass candle stick I was packing and remembered I’m not a psycho and should calm the ef down! I repeated the mantra “I am normal… I am normal… do not walk out of this door with your greasy ass hair thinking you’re going to see Rob. Freak… I am normal.”

Unlike this girl…

Though I can’t say I blame her those cardboard cutout things aren’t cheap AND they make a great conversation piece next to all your tchotchkes (isn’t that the best word ever?)… I can’t also blame her because I would have dared someone to do this during the “Truth or Dare” portion of #leghitch2010 only we never got that far, we only dared someone to sharpie a teardrop under Kristen Stewart’s eye and look how that turned out**. Laugh now, cry later, after all. But don’t think we won’t be daring someone to rip off the Breaking Dawn cardboard cutout at a Burger King or Borders during #PillowBite2011. That is SOOO happening.

So even though you’re out running a muck in my city (like how I’ve claimed it for myself?) I just can’t be on high alert anymore, I might go crazy… or worse yet not get my packing done and then I’ll be the crazy girl with no house and a ripped up Edward cutout from Eastern Europe or wherever that was. So I hope you’ll accept my resignation and revoke my fan card for failing to be at any of these events in Los Angeles. But maybe you’ll understand and hand me that special “I’m Normal” card you’ve got hidden in your back pocket for special folks like me?? I can only hope.


**CALM DOWN I’M KIDDING! I’m SO JOKING about the Sharpie, it was a little girl who accidentally got her sharpie filled hand knocked into Kristen’s face,  not us. We have eye witnesses! JOKES PEOPLE! I hate that I have to write this here, but some folks lack of a sense of humor makes me do it**

But anyway… Who wants to pack up my house while I go try to reclaim my fancard? Or is the “I’m Normal” card better to have? Have you thought about using the 5 finger discount on a cardboard Edward in a store near you?

Sources 1, WTE Film

Business time after the cut

Business Time!
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100 Responses to “Rob, here’s my fancard I give up!”

  1. This! ILY! *going to pack for #PillowBite2011*

    “But don’t think we won’t be daring someone to rip off the Breaking Dawn cardboard cutout at a Burger King or Borders during #PillowBite2011. That is SOOO happening.”

    • robgirl86 says:

      the “Pillow bite 2011” will be storic, I’m SURE! 🙂

      • Rob's flaming dashboard says:

        *rushes to LTR store to buy Pillow Bite 2011 shirt*
        Because Rob would love that. I expect all his mates already have theirs!

  2. Cazza says:

    You gotta laugh at the woman stealing Edward, she put in an Oscar worthy leg hitch whilst doing it!!!

    I always bitch about getting the front row at the cinema for popular events, however, last night in LA I would have been sitting there smugly due to my proximity to the pretty!

    Right, I’m off to bake my Loquat crumble today…… just in case.


  3. Tigerkitten36 says:

    I feel you Moon SIGH

    Nothing happens here in FL (not since Nysnc and the BSB – but I didnt live here back then…) and I would be certified insane if I lived that close to the pretty (and all the happenings) was in fear of running into him at the local …In and Out? Barnes and Noble? Coffee shop?? etc.

    Leghitch 2010 sounded like a blast, maybe I should plan on Pillowbite 2011?

  4. JulieP says:

    Don’t give up your fan card Moon!! How many other fans run the best d**n fansite on the planet??
    Love the Russian (?) leg hitch. I so wanted to steal a big poster/cardboard cutout from my cinema. You go girl!!

  5. melronin says:

    Since I have an Aragorn figure standing in a quiet corner of my house and thank God it was a gift and I did not have to steal it in the middle of the night…which I seriously would have done(yes I am that normal) in my Lord of the Rings/Aragorn obsession years…I know exactly how this girl feels right now!!! And what she can do with such a pretty cardboard….ohhh yeaaahhh…lot of stuff…lol!!!Like staring at him for hours…examine him from every angle…say “hi baby” every time she passes him by….
    ehhh…very normal things 😀

    Btw, Rob
    I am going to watch Eclipse tonight (10.00pm) Greek time…so that you know. Can you please catch a plain and come surprise me??? It’s not IMAX…but hey…it’s dark!
    Will wait for you!!!


  6. dazzledtodeath says:

    I would die a little too, Moon, if I knew Rob was in close proximity and I’d missed him. Very normal. But you’re right, a store video of you ripping a cardboard Edward from its display is NOT the way to show undying love. That woman looks unhinged. Did she get caught?

  7. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight. LetterstoTwilight said: Hey Rob, here's my fan card. I give up! […]

  8. tupelohoney says:

    Have yet to see a cardboard Edward in my town but if I did.. yeah I might be tempted to steal it but..

    If I ever came across a cardboard Tyler… Lord, I’d risk getting my ass thrown in jail in a heartbeat trying to take that pretty home….

    Yeah, getting thrown in jail because of Tyler… now that definitely would fuel the Rob jail cell fantasies…

    • melronin says:

      Getting thrown in jail because of Tyler…haha…tupelo… I think you would have lot of company in that cell! And news of so many arrested Robfans would catch his attention right??? He would def come and bail us out!!!

      • tupelohoney says:

        I just imagined trying to explain myself when I got arrested:

        Officer: “Care to explain why your trying steal this piece of cardboard?”
        Me: “Well Officer, I… um.. well…”
        Officer: “Yes?”
        Me: “Normally I’m a law abiding citizen… just the sweetest girl you’d ever wanna meet…”
        Officer *looks at me skeptically*
        Me: “Just look at him… all that fuckhawtness… um.. can I plead temporary insanity?”
        Officer: “You’ll have to discuss that with the judge Ma’am.”
        Me: “Well ok… see I’ve got this thing about Tyler wearing a blue shirt in a jail cell…”
        Officer: “Would you like to spend some time in a jail cell?”
        Me: “Well… um… can I take this Tyler cut out with me?”

    • mountainlion says:

      I like where you are going with this jail thing, Tupelo.

    • southernbelle says:

      It’s okay honey, if you go to jail for Robler, I’ll happily bail you out 🙂

    • the pretty even on cardboard will make you do some stupid shit

  9. robgirl86 says:

    Stealing Cardboard Edward is the new BIG SCOUP!
    That girl knew what she wanted MOSTLY, somehow it’s sweet! Wonder what she’d answer to the police being asked about her motivation to steal this…..Ohhh…the

    and Rob being everywhere and nowhere can make a few girls (read…me) really nervous, THAT is his real life SUPERPOWER!……………..sigh*

  10. Stacey says:

    Even if you did go to see him, Moon you’d still be the most normal girl around, which he would appreciate. Plus you have an in with his dad, so that’s an epic win!

    Luckily, I will never have to make a difficult decision like this. The possibility of him heading to Connecticut for a poorly put together Summit meet and greet @ Mohegan Sun Casino is minimal at best. Not to mention it would be during a snow storm, I would have to bundle up the kids and stand 6 hours for a two second hello with the pretty. Nothings hotter to Rob than a frazzled mommy with two crying babies. Of course, it doesn’t matter, because the husband will have me tied up to a chair.

    • JellyBeanRainbow says:

      Going downtown where you party often or to a movie theatre near you, Moon, that’s so normal it’s almost not worth mentioning in our (not so little anymore) community.

    • dazzledtodeath says:

      Stacey you’re from CT? Me too-I’m in So.Ct. I’m glad to know there’s another LTR gal in CT.

      • Stacey says:

        I’m in south eastern CT on the shoreline. Are you near New London?

        • dazzledtodeath says:

          I live in in Norwalk.

          • Stacey says:

            I’m in New London, we just bought a house in Lyme. My husband sometimes goes to Norwalk for work. I haven’t been there yet. I’m a transplant to CT from Maryland, so I am still finding my way around.

    • the mohegan sun that made me laugh really hard. im imagining a twicon there in like 20 years. washed up twi stars on the rez

      • Stacey says:

        I can’t wait for 20 years when a 20 year older Boo Boo shows up for Twicon! Momma Boo Boo can play the slots!

  11. Goodgirl GonePlaid says:

    WORD. Moon, word. I felt palpable relief and gin tears when HHH left London. High alert stage makes RL unbearable, and peeps around you think you have a drink/drug problem. Now I can go to bars and Nando’s and M&S and get on tubes without friends asking me ‘what’s up you seem a bit on edge?’

    Also #educationalmoment what is a tchotchkes?!?

    • melronin says:

      There is no chance whatsoever for me to meet Rob anywhere in my town (neva eva)…just wonder why I am thinking for such a long time now what to wear for cinema tonight! Is that normal???

      Omg…I’m dressing up for Edward…

      • Goodgirl Gone Plaid says:

        Your best blue blouse and ankle length khaki skirt?!?

        • Jules says:

          Mel-Rob’s getting good at hiding, maybe he’ll come hide out in your town.
          GGP- hahaha! You want Mel to dress like book Bella. How much do you like Mel?

          • melronin says:

            Jules…love you!! From your mouth into Gods ear…as we
            say it in Greece…

            GGP…honey…noooo way…I think I have a better idea/

        • southernbelle says:

          LOL, yeah Mel I dare you to wear the blue blouse and long khaki skirt!

          Did it say what kind of shoes she wore? I figured she won’t be wearing sandals because it’s constantly raining in Forks. I can’t remember now.

      • southernbelle says:

        @Mel, well I’m in the USof A and I feel like there’s no chance of me meeting/seeing him in person either. I have to make some Herculean effort to see him. So hard(twss). So close and yet so far away.

    • mountainlion says:

      Tchotchke is a bauble, trinket or kitsch….

    • southernbelle says:

      Tchotchkes, well ML explained it good….I call them crap or junk sometimes, little stuff you get from people, they pass on to you because they don’t want them anymore. So they collect dust in your house.

      I have a huge Tchotchke collection from my MIL. So going to the trash.

    • Goodgirl Gone Plaid says:

      Thanks loves. Our most common used version is ‘toot’ but varies from region to region.x.

    • once he goes back to whereveer rob came from or goes home for a bit (im sending him back to you! you get to be on high alert now!) i’ll be able to rest easier, wear some flip flops not worry about seeing him around every corner, life will be a little easier.

      ps send me some nandos

  12. obird says:

    Oh, who needs normal anyway….we’re talking about MR. PADDLESTON here! I might not be the one to answer this question as I walked around LA with alcohol swabs and a sharpie with the hopes of getting an autograph on my left boob. (Boobs in the shoes) I’m kidding of course….not really. Anyway, you KNOW I am your girl when it comes down to petty theft and the Burger King. PillowBite2011!!!

    Sending you love and packing tape,

    Obird 🙂

  13. MrsKowski says:

    I don’t think I could live in your city for that exact reason. I find it hard enough to control my inner crazy as it is 😉

    Happy packing Moon!

  14. emmeloowhoo says:

    wow… this is the theatre with in walking distance from my house… i would have gone… um hello! that’s where I saw eclipse the 2nd time around, in that exact imax theatre!!! i fail as a fan!

  15. natashadushi says:

    ” #PillowBite2011″ I am so going to tatoo this on my arm! When can I buy the #PillowBite2011 t-shirt?

  16. Rob4Deb says:

    I don’t know how you cope knowing that the pretty is so damn close. When I was at Heathrow Airport last month I was on HIGH alert even though I knew he was there in your town and hadn’t popped back to good old blighty, and anyway I was in totes the wrong terminal for USA so none of it mattered but my god anybody would have thought I was on coke or something, I was so jittery… just incase…just incase!!!! But yeah, totally NORMAL.

    That girl stealing the cut out – I love the way she runs off at the end!! Hubs would have me sectioned if I came home with a cardboard cut out and if we lived in LA that I definitely be in the Betty Ford clinic by now!!!

    Please come to Great Park, Birmingham on Friday, I’ll be there from 8pm, be good to see you… and feel you in the dark .. ooh sorry mind started wandering!!
    Me xxx

  17. southernbelle says:

    Oh Moon, how I wish I had your predicament! I wish I was geographically close to Rob, that would be awesome! So convenient too, ya know for stalker activities :). Just kidding (about the stalker part). If I think he is in my vicinity I’d probably be looking gorgeous everyday, never looking like I’m out “running errands.” Because you know, you’ll just never know when you might run into him. Yeah I’d be on high alert too, constantly scanning streets and stores. Wow I think my blood pressure might even go up from all that excitement.

    LOL on the girl who stole the cardboard Edward! Well here girls/women kiss them….I didn’t because for crying out loud that thing is probably teeming with germs now from all the girls leg-hitching and kissing it! Poor Edward!

  18. Mrs. P says:

    Oh Lordy, I feel your pain. Last summer he drove past my house to throw on a lemon squeezing lobster bib and hang with the Riverhead rugby team (who knew they had one?) while I was probably fishing acorns out of my pool that day.
    Don’t feel bad. From what I understand he was there for 20 seconds, then left with his little brother. You didn’t miss much…

  19. LiLi says:

    OMG– DYING. You signed CPV!!!

    hahahaha….i <3 your face right now. HARD.

  20. kristen's bestie says:

    Friday I panicked when I heard on the radio that Eclipse stars were visiting fans in the theaters and yes Kansas City was on the list. I panicked that Rob would be thisclose and if I wasn’t there I would be a fangirl failure. Fortunate for me, we got Gil, and I didn’t feel bad about missing Billy Black when he was thisclose.

    So, Moon, I know how you must feel.

    #Leghitch 2010 sounded fun, but #Pillowbite2011! No one will want to miss this!

  21. Chelsea says:

    Dearest Moon,
    If I’m not on my deathbed (I currently am, Ashley shared) I’ll gladly help you move this weekend. Remember, I have a truck. Also, I will gladly accept any cast off furniture, seeing as I’m moving as well and have none.

    I’ll remember to add “Play Truth or Dare” to the next itinerary when I start planning #PillowBite2011. We’ll also have to play “Never Have I Ever” during #TeethBaby2012.


  22. Faye~fayezeewayzee says:

    Yeah,well,you sound a bit like me now….ever since I found out that they *probably* will be doing some filming of Breaking Dawn, in *MY TOWN* (yes,I claim it for my own also!) I’ve been trying to figure out just where they might be *hold up* while they are here!At the same time, telling myself, you are a crazy old girl, and you are NOT GOING TO DO THAT! But what if I have a relapse in judgment?And what if I ever DO get to see Mr.Pattinson in the flesh?Then they will have to do the whole calling out of the ambulance thing for me,and I’m gonna be humiliated and so on…Well I guess there is no cure for this *disease* or *madness* right?

  23. LadyN says:

    ohhh Moon. 🙁 I’m soooo sorry!

    sigh. I know the anxiety building in your gut. the one that alerts you he’s close yet soooo far. and then you grow sad and wanna cry cuz you wish you were famous and his gf who can screw him or even just his damn nike sneaker spit shiner would do! You tell yourself you don’t even have to be screwing him, JUST be his friend! Like have a cosmo with him (idlike beer, just hard liquor) at some restaurant and talk about life and crack jokes!

    Yet, you sit there at home with greasy hair (yes, me too) and he doesn’t know you even exist and you just feel stupid… and… and… he’s soooo close yet soooo farrr… 🙁

    i know how that be feeling.

    oh wait, this is just what happens to me.
    *slapsface* I am normal, too…

  24. shirley_m says:

    I know exactly how you feel moon. I live in LA too and it drives me crazy thinking he’s so close by. In fact I was in downtown on friday and noticed the (WFE) trailers parked along the street and thought, I wonder what movie they’re filming? Gah!

  25. cledbo says:

    The only silver lining to living where I do is the lack of “high alert” stress around potentially meeting Rob (or any famous person) randomly on the street.

    That’s the lamest silver lining ever.

    An “I’m Normal” card is better for our long-term sanity; at least that’s what I tell myself to make me feel better that Rob won’t be walking into the local cinemaplex during my 2nd or 15th viewing of Eclipse ever. Sad panda.

    There are also no cardboard Robwards or other b-list actors nearby for me to plan a heist for. Bummer.

  26. Rinatoes says:

    …I have an Edward cardboard cut out. I SWEAR I didn’t steal it. I worked at a retailer that had a large Twilight display when the DVD came out. I volunteered (demanded) to take the display down. Edward came home with me cause I couldn’t bare to throw something so pretty in the trash.

  27. Sudie says:

    I knew I would never get to meet Rob living in Georgia and all. But, on a spur of the moment I decide I’m going to Los Angeles. So I pack up the family and go to Beverly Hills, swimming pools, er yeah you get it. I do literally ask my daughter and grandson “do you want to go to LA with me on vacation”. You’d have to know that I have never done anything like that in my entire life. But, the Robsession was at fever pitch and I just knew that somehow one day that I had to lay my eyes on the “pretty”. We spent all day Friday & Saturday scouring LA to all the places I have read Rob had been previously. Nary a sight of him. Well just happened to be the weekend of MTV Movie Awards and I say well why not. Let’s get tickets and go. Yeah really easy. Tickets end up costing me $1700 for 3 but ohhhh was it so worth it. Rob was there and he walked within 10 feet of me not once but three times (collecting all his awards and had to walk back to his seat). It was heaven and I can now die a happy person. Don’t have any money left in savings but I would do it again.

    • Dionrenee says:

      You r my hero!!! R u married? My husband would have me

      • Sudie says:

        No not married. My daughter’s boyfriend thought we were both crazy. She introduced me to my obsession March 2009. She was as excited as me to see Rob. In fact when he first came in I was so busy looking around at other celebrities and was not actually expecting him to walk right by us. She quietly leaned over and said, OMG there’s Rob. We both fangirled.

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