Open Weekend Post: The Museum of Rob
This weekend we’re getting a little cultured as we visit the Museum of Rob!
When I saw the headline a few months back, “Rob Pattinson Gets Waxed” it was a bit of a shock. WHAT were you waxing and WHY?? But no, to my relief your pubes were intact and the article was about your new figure at Madame Tussauds! There was pandemonium on opening day! Women lined up to have their pic taken with you and to run their hands through your fake hair! It kind of looks like you, but there’s something a little off. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t kick wax Rob out of bed, but it’s not quite you. The clothes, the posture, the eyes-it’s just a bit off. But seeing you in that “museum” got me thinking-Rob,you deserve more than a cheesy wax effigy. You deserve your OWN museum. Sure, you’ve only been famous for a few years, but to me, you are a work of art. So I started tossing around some ideas…
Welcome to The Museum of Rob
Containing artifacts spanning over twenty-four years.
Materials: Ash, Unicorn(?) Hair
Donated by: Donor prefers to remain anonymous.
Provenance: This is the wand used by Rob in the fourth Harry Potter film. We are thrilled to have Rob’s wand on display.
Item: Plaid shirt
Materials: Cotton, plastic
Donated by: M. Foster
Provenance: this is a particularly rare and coveted piece, as it was worn consecutively by all members of the Brit Pack. Unwashed.
Item: One half of size 36C nude bra
Materials: Nylon, cotton, tape
Donated by: Donor prefers to remain anonymous
Provenance: Rob’s privates, used unsuccessfully as “modesty patch” during filming.
I’d pay to see just to see the modesty patch!
What other artifacts of Rob’s life would YOU pay to see in a Rob museum!?